oh my gosh, I got so many awesome reviews, I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story! It's been a really long time since I released a chapter, and I really apologize for the delay. I've been so caught up in babysitting my 5 year old cousin, I barely had enough time to write my story x-x

Well, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter: Please, criticize if there are some parts you didn't like. I know I'm not a great writer, so I really hope that if I have faults in my writing, you guys point them out! if you didn't like something in the story or and grammatical errors I may have in this chapter, feel free to become that grammar Nazi that's deep in your soul!

Also, compliments or positive feedback are also accepted ^^ (They make me 'sooper' happy!)

I do not own South Park! Matt S and Trey P do!

"Oh my God." Kyle thought as his eyes widened, clearly comprehending the position he was in. He quickly leaped back, causing his head to hit the base of his bed support with a great amount of force.

"Owww," he moaned, grabbing the back of his head with a pain stricken face. Cartman was a very light sleeper, so the thud against the bed woke him, eyes landing on Kyle's face.

"Mmmn, Jew? The hell are you on my comforter for?" his eyes were half open.

"I - I fell, fatass."

"Kyle, I'm not a fag, so your hopes of sleeping with me end here." Cartman said as he turned around to go to back to sleep. Kyle felt his face turned red, not knowing if it was from the pain increasing on the back of his head, or the awkward kiss he woke up to.

Kiss? …

Kyle quickly stood up and dashed to the bathroom, nearly tripping over Cartman as he ran towards the door.

"The fuck!" Kyle could hear Cartman curse as he opened the bedroom door. As soon as he got in the bathroom, he flicked on the light and turned on the sink faucet, roughly washing his lips as if he just kissed a plate of poo.

… No. He kissed something much worse than a plate of poo.

Kyle looked at himself in the mirror, realizing how red he made his lips after all of that scrubbing. He slowly touched his bottom lip, then turned around to grab his towel off the rack, and to his surprise, his younger brother Ike was sitting on the toilet, watching him intensely.

"Ike? Why are you… using the bathroom in the dark?" Kyle hesitantly responded. Ike wiped, hopped off the toilet, flushed, and then continued to stare at his big brother who was waiting for a response.

"I didn't think anyone would come through the locked door." Ike finally responded, pulling up his pants.

"The door's not locked."

"Not anymore."

"…Oh..." Kyle turned to look at the doorknob, which was nearly forced off of the lock.

"Shit." Kyle sighed, and then continued to wipe the water from his face.

"For someone to break the lock on a locked door to a bathroom," Ike started, as he reached for the liquid soap, "means only 2 things: your large intestine is about to blow and you've got to take a major dump, or," He paused, rinsing the soap from his hands. He turned off the faucet.

"Or, you're a complete pervert." He finished by wiping his hands on Kyle's towel, looking at him in narrow eyes, and then exited the bathroom. Kyle watched his little brother leave, with one eyebrow raised and mouth slightly parted, amazed at how intimidating his brother could be.

"I'm not a pervert!" Kyle yelled, and then suddenly heard his 7 year old brother close the door to his room.

"… I'm not a pervert." he mumbled to himself, assuring himself that wasn't a perv, regardless of what Ike said. Shaking his head, he put his towel neatly back on the rack, and headed back to his room. His lips were sore from the friction he created on his mouth, and his mouth was a light red color. Slowly opening the door, Kyle peeked through the crack, making sure Cartman went back to sleep. The coast was clear, so he got inside, closed the door gently, and tip-toed back to his bed, avoiding Cartman's body this time. He quickly jerked his head around, getting a glance of the clock on his desk. 2:40. Getting back on his bed, he repositioned his pillow since most of it was leaning off the bed from his fall, and dropped his head directly in the middle of it.

"This fucking explains it." Kyle mumbled quietly, remembering the very confusing dream he was having.

So the teddy bear I was seeing in my dream… was fatass.

His mind suddenly went back to him waking up, hugging Cartman, along with Cartman's loose arm around Kyle's waste. Kyle's face went a bit red, and he was literally squeezing his cheeks, attempting to get the disturbing image out of his head. He pushed the palms of his hands into his temples, teeth gritted, eyes closed, trying to think of anything other than that scene.

"Ughh!" he sputtered accidentally.

"Oh my God. Kyle, shut up. I'm trying to sleep nyah!" Cartman mumbled, facing the opposite direction. The sound of Cartman's voice only irritated the situation further than it already was, as Kyle couldn't stop himself from thinking about it. Kyle really didn't understand why he was making this simple dilemma into something bigger than the Apocalypse. It wasn't that big of a deal, it was just a simple, innocent, meaningless, accidental kiss.

Accidental. Right.

"Wa…." Kyle could hear a faint noise call out to him.

"Wa… Wake … Kyle GET THE FUCK UP!" Kyle let out a shriek and nearly jumped out of bed, eyes wide open staring at the person who unpleasantly woke him up. Cartman raised an eyebrow while accompanied with a look of amusement and confusion.

"DUDE! What the hell? You couldn't have found a better way to wake me up?" Kyle said, somewhat sarcastic.

"Don't 'dude' me, Khyle. I've been trying to wake you up for the past 10 minutes, and you barely moved an inch. If that scream didn't wake you up I was planning on jumping on your ass."

Kyle narrowed his eyes. "Well it's a good thing I did wake up, because if you did jump on me, we would've been downstairs in the kitchen."

"Haha. You're freakin' hilarious, Jew." Cartman said in the most sarcastic and dullest way possible. "Now get up. Its 7:40 and we've got to get to school. I'm not trying to be late just because your mother insists we wait for you before taking me to school."

"Oh shit, school starts in 20 minutes!" Kyle exclaimed as he jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom, face covered in fear. Cartman couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Kyle running out of the room as if it was on fire.

Fire.

He was suddenly dragged back into reality as he soon realized that this wasn't just a sleepover at Kyle's. Remembering the events of yesterday, Cartman's jovial expression was slowly taken over by a look of sadness, loss, and thought.

"… God dammit."

"Okay kids. I'll be checking to see if you all brought your projects in today, I just gotta finish this text to my husband." Ms. Handoncock babbled to her incredibly loud class.

To: My Love

Why does your sister have to stay in our
house? She could stay at your mother's,
a motel, hell, even a fucking park bench!
That romantic evening we set up last
night was totally cockblocked by her
lurking ass! I. Am. A. Woman! I have
NEEDS. And what I need is your BOOM
in my BAM! Make the Boom-Bam, you
know? Okay honey, I gotta teach my
darn class now. TTYL. That means that
I'll talk to you later. (L)

P.S. Since we couldn't do the BB at home,
How 'bout a nice 'sext' fest during lunch
today? ^^ I'll be waiting.. –licks my lips

seductively

"And… SEND. Okay class, time to check those projects!" Ms. Handoncock said with a big smile plastered on her face. She looked around the room meeting the faces of all her students, who happened to look disgusted and confused at the same time.

"Uhh. Ma'am?" Stan spoke up. "Was it really necessary to read that message out loud as you typed it?"

"What? Oh. OHH. Oh dear. I-I-I-I'm terribly sorry class. I- Just ignore everything I said in the past 3 minutes, Mkay?" Her face turned red, and she suddenly found herself biting the inside of her cheeks.

".. Does that include you checking the projects?"

"No, CLYDE. It doesn't include me checking the projects. And I expect yours to be COMPLETED." She said, looking directly at Clyde Donovan who shifted in his chair uncomfortably, nervously looking at his desk.

"I expect all of yours to be completed, class! Remember everyone; this grade will count for 20 % of your final quarter grade! Now, move next to your assigned partner from yesterday and put your projects and reports on top of your desk!" The class followed the teacher's orders and got up to sit with the person she assigned them with the day before. Cartman found his way near Kyle's desk, dragging a spare desk closer to his, creating this loud, screeching noise due to the friction from the legs of the desk across the floor. Cartman plopped himself down into the chair and then reached into his book bag to find the project.

"There we go," Cartman said in a content way as he pulled the surprisingly unharmed project out of his bag. Kyle rolled his eyes at how careless Cartman was with their project. He then reached into his own bag to retrieve the report he had done last night. As he was looking for his report folder, his face went red, and his eyes widened.

"..Hey, fatass. Did you … happen to put the report in your bag, by any chance?" Kyle questioned, hoping Cartman would say yes.

"No."

"Shit." Kyle whispered.

"Why the fuck would I have the report you wouldn't even let me touch?" Cartman said, raising an eyebrow.

"I think I left the report home." Kyle blurted out, suddenly biting his lower lip with the most worried expression on his face.

"What?" Cartman said, slightly confused.

"Since I woke up late this morning, I was in such a rush to get ready. I must have forgotten to put that damn report in my bag!"

"Well good-fucking-going, Jew! Are all Jews this fucking irresponsible, or is it just you?"

"Shut up, Cartman!" The class was loud enough to the point where Kyle's yell was melted in with the other conversations going on. Ms. Handoncock started to check the other student's projects. Kyle gritted his teeth, muttering an 'Oh my God' through them. That translated to: If I fail this project and get an F, my mom is going to kill me, and my dad will hide the body. Kyle's head quickly smashed onto the desk, sending a pain to his head, similar to the pain he felt earlier that morning when he woke up and found himself snuggling and kissing… Oh god.

"Owww."

Kyle's face immediately went red, as a result from the pain shooting though his head and embarrassment. He face was full of worry, sadness and anger, due to the fact that he was careless and did not check if all of his school work was in his bag that morning. Kyle ran his hands under his green ushanka, ruffling his hair a bit as his he saw his life flash in front of him. Cartman couldn't help but notice Kyle's little show, suddenly building up a small laughter in his throat. Cartman really enjoyed seeing Kyle agitated and worried, it sort of gave his life purpose, other than getting rid of all Jews and Hippies.

Soon after his chuckles ran out, he picked up his bag and pulled out a green folder. Inside the folder was … their report. He looked at Kyle and smirked as he pulled the report from the flap, placing it silently on Kyle's desk. As he pulled back his hand, Kyle felt the edge of the paper touch his elbow, causing him to move his arm in order to see what was on his desk. He took his hands out of his hair in order to pick up the packet of paper. He blinked once, then twice, and finally his eyes widened, jaw dropped, and mind relieved. A wide grin spread a across his face, only to be destroyed a second later to throw an angry glance at Cartman.

"You're such a dick!" Kyle belted, only leading Cartman into more laughter and tears.

"Ahahaha! You're so … cute when you're angry" Cartman managed to say between his laughter.

"You're so lucky that I don't kick your-" His rage was suddenly put into a halt.

"What did you say?" Kyle asked curiously. Cartman quickly froze, realizing what he had just said, mentally bitch slapping himself for not thinking before he spoke.

"I-I didn't say anything, stupid Jew. Maybe if you-you weren't god damn careless I wouldn't have had to take the report you forgot on your computer desk, dumbass," He hesitantly blurted out, quickly hoping that Kyle would get sidetracked. Kyle grunted angrily, and turned his head the opposite way so he wouldn't have to see Cartman's face.

As soon as Kyle wasn't staring at him anymore, Cartman quickly let out a silent sigh of relief, letting out a quiet, breathless "shit."

'Cartman, the fuck? There are things you can say out loud and things you keep in your fucking head! You don't fucking call a guy cute, no matter how adorable they are! Now the kid probably thinks you're a fucking homo!' Cartman thought to himself, his conscious mentally kicking his ass for saying something so gay out loud.

Kyle, however, was slightly blushing at the thought of Cartman calling him 'cute'. He didn't know why, but even though he was really mad at Cartman for letting him freak out before telling him that he actually did have the report, it gave him this unexplained happiness inside.

The boys were all at lunch now, sitting at the table with their lunches sitting in front of them. Cartman was still in the lunch line, aggravating the old lunch lady for an extra scoop of mashed potatoes. Kyle decided to tell the guys his current situation, and why Cartman had no choice but to attend their get together.

"REALLY?"

"Mhm."

"Cartman. Eric Cartman. Fatass. Is staying at your house, because his, burnt down?" Stan rephrased.

"Yup." Kyle replied in a defeated voice. A crack came from Kenny's hoodie, indicated a laughter that was being built up, however he forced it back down, not allowing himself to enjoy this hilarity.

"Dude, that sucks major ass!" Stan said, half amused, yet half sincere.

"I know. I just have to deal with it for a month or so until their house is rebuilt."

"That explains why Cartman wasn't logged onto Xbox live! He's ALWAYS logged in, regardless if he's actually on or not." Stan mentioned.

"Well, good luck, Kyle. I'm sure he'll be a lot of fun." Kenny said, struggling not to laugh at his distraught friend.

"… I say 'thanks' to the good luck, but 'fuck you' to the fun part." Kyle shot back, only causing Kenny's held in laughter to burst out of his mouth. Stan and Kyle couldn't help but laugh as well.

"What you homos talking about?" Cartman said climbing up on the bench next to Kyle, whose faded laughter became silent in a matter of seconds. He placed his tray on the table, successfully getting a free extra scoop of mashed potatoes on his plate.

"Bitch didn't give me extra gravy…" Cartman mumbled under his breath.

"Kyle was just telling us about what happened to your house, and how you're staying over his house now." Stan quickly mentioned.

"Oh, yeah. This homo right here has already tried to sleep with me." Cartman stated, placing a spoonful of mashed goodness into his mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this Kyle?" Stan said with a curious smirk on his face. Kenny seemed just as interested.

"No I didn't fatass! I told you I fell off of my bed!" Kyle's face quickly grew red from embarrassment.

"Are you sure that isn't just an excuse, Kyle?" Kenny said teasingly.

"Go to hell, Kenny!"

"Been there, done that." Kenny replied, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway," Kyle started, hoping to change the subject, "So are you guys still coming over today?"

"Yeah, asked my mom yesterday, she said it was fine as long as we don't do drugs or anything." Stan answered.

"…O-Okay. W-why would your mom… Never mind," Kyle said shaking his head. "Kenny? You're still on for today?"

"Mhm, asked my mom yesterday, she said she doesn't give a flying fuck, as long as I took out the trash."

"…You know, I think out of all of the kids in the school, we have the strangest parents."

"Agreed." Stan and Kenny said in unison. "Except for that one kid's dad that uncontrollably slaps everyone he comes into contact with." Stan added.

"I will slap you so sooper hard." Kenny's spot on imitation of that dad earned a roar of laughter from Stan and Kyle, with Kenny joining soon after.

Cartman was too busy stuffing his face to even acknowledge the conversation.

"You know, fatass," Kyle began, still laughing softly, "If you keep eating that much food at once, you'll start gaining back the weight you surprisingly lost during 6th and 7th grade."

"Khyle, my house burnt down yesterday, my Xbox is gone, Mr. Kitty is missing, and to top it all off – I'm living with you. Excuse me if I use food to comfort me since no one else seems to give a rat's ass." Cartman replied, placing another spoonful of potatoes in his mouth. Kyle looked at Cartman with a mildly shocked expression, thinking about what he just said, and then slowly looked back to his plate of food. For a moment, Kyle actually felt bad for Cartman, and how he used food to make up for the amount of people that didn't care about him. It made Kyle wonder. Back in his obese days, did he use food to comfort him from something that was hurting him as well? Or was he just being a fatass?

Hmm, yeah. He was definitely being a fatass…

"Dude, you know we care, we're your friends. But of course we're gonna find this abnormally funny since it happened to you of all people." Stan implied.

"Yeah, stop using us as an excuse to stuff your fat ass, Cartman." Kenny said in a 'matter-o-fact' way.

"You're just jealous because I can afford to stuff my fat ass, Kenny!"

"Don't go there, dick wad!" Kenny quickly retorted. Cartman always knew that Kenny was sensitive when it came to his family's financial problems.

"Maybe if you ass wipes didn't constantly insult me about my weight I wouldn't be such a dick wad." Cartman stated addressing everyone, but looking directly into Kenny's eyes.

"Well don't blame us for your horrid personality, Cartman! Maybe if you weren't such a fucking jackass I wouldn't have the need to call you a dick wad or fatass, now would I?" Kenny was in flames while Cartman was steaming with anger.

"Kenny, don't get mad at me just because your poorer than a bag of horse shit. Now eat your one slice bologna sandwich and shut the fuck up. "

"You know what? I'm glad I'm poor, because if my parents actually earned a decent amount of money and fed us more than they do now, I'd be afraid of turning into a fat piece of inconsiderate shit like you." Cartman's face grew red, and his eyes were filled with hatred. He reached into his pocket and threw spare change at Kenny; some landing in his food, on the table, and on his lap.

"Heh. Maybe now your family can afford more than a waffle for dinner." Cartman quickly got up and charged out of the lunch room.

"That fucking asshole! He always gets to me!" Kenny screamed, gaining the attention of many students in the lunch room.

"Jesus Christ." Stan simply said, eyes wide open, staring at the cafeteria door. Kyle was literally in shock at what he had just witnessed. His friends always argued, sure. But it never got that personal. He looked at the door, then back at Kenny.

"Uhh." Kyle swallowed, making a loud gulp sound. "Are you okay, Kenny?"

"I'm fine, Kyle. Just fine." Kenny said in the most unconvincing way possible as he cleared himself of the 78 cents Cartman flung at him.

"Damn dude. I've never seen Cartman in a more douche baggy state before." Stan said, helping Kenny get the pennies off of his hoodie.

"Yeah, well I have to admit I was being an ass, too." Kenny replied, suddenly realizing that he wasn't the only victim.

"Hey Kyle, I don't think it's a good idea to – Kyle?" Stan looked back across the table to find Kyle missing, and the Cafeteria door swinging shut.

Yeah, that's Chapter 4. I forgot to add that this chapter was a tiny bit longer than my other ones :D I love reading these types of stories, and I hope I'm good at it? Ugh, I absolutely hate when people degrade their own work, and I really don't wanna be a hypocrite.. So, I really hope you liked this chapter! Ike was just being a troll, and I realized that I didn't include him in the last chapter, so I gave him a cameo in this chapter :P

Okay! hopefully I get the next chapter up soon!

Typos = love :D