A/N Teeheehee! So one day, last week, I was just chilling in my room. So I see my teddy bear (The one from Ouran X33) and I thought "thiefshipping". That's the story behind this. I almost changed the main pairing to deathshipping, but I thought Marik would have set it on fire as soon as Ryou showed him… So it stayed thiefshipping! :D I am proud of this one! ^^

Warnings: Yaoi! You know, boyxboy? Malexmale? Penisxpenis? Yeah. That. It's rated t because I'm crude. And blunt. *Shrugs*

Disclaimer: I don't own or Yu-Gi-Oh! or yaoi. …I hate my life.

Teddy Bears

Malik likes teddy bears. It's one of those facts of life, just like "breathing is healthy" and "card games solve all problems". Bakura, on the other hand, does not like teddy bears. He does not comprehend the appeal of the soft playthings. Malik is foolishly convinced that Bakura will learn to love the not-to-scale bears. Foolish, foolish boy…

"Malik. What is that… thing you're holding?" Bakura inquired from the couch one day when his boyfriend had returned home from the grocery store holding a large teddy bear. The Egyptian grinned childishly, "It's a teddy bear, duh!" The blonde snuggled the chestnut stuffed toy against his face, cooing quietly and smiling contentedly. "Sometimes I worry about you…" the retired thief king sighed with annoyance. The hikari snorted, "So says the man who steals from old ladies, kicks puppies, and has full-blown arguments with that oak tree in the park."

"His name is Pablo."

"I rest my case," Malik continued, giving his lover the daily "I am still wondering why I love a psychopath" look. The albino rolled his crimson eyes, "Whatever. That thing is seriously creeping me out. Those plastic eyes are more eerie than Pegasus…" "Oh stop your exaggerations. Nothing is more macabre than that creampuff. Or, so I've been told," His boyfriend responded, grip on the toy tightening, "Besides, I think it's cute." The thief groaned, "Only you. You are the only person on this planet who sees cuteness in those Mexican hairless dogs and that weird bear." The blonde just grinned and resumed his previous show of affection, the stuffed toy being the recipient of the adoration. The yami next to him just observed with a bored expression gracing his pale features.

"Do you want to hug 'im?" Malik asked cutely, while placing himself on his boyfriend's lap. The yami raised a snow-colored eyebrow, "Do you honestly think I would agree to touch that thing? Let alone hugit?" "Yes," the hikari replied firmly, shoving the auburn curio into the pale hands awaiting it. Well, reluctantly awaiting it. The albino just held the bear out an arm's length and suppressed the urge to chuck the thing out the window. The tanned one beamed, glad to see his boyfriend being obedient. "Malik... Are you actually going to force me to hug it..?" the taller of the two inquired, while his lover's grin turned into a devilish smirk. "'Kura, please? Just hug him… Please… He won't eat you…" Malik pleaded, using those dreaded "puppy-dog eyes" on the man he was sitting on.

Bakura's cheeks turned pink and he hesitantly brought the play thing to his chest. His Egyptian partner observed expectantly, a hopeful and somewhat devious glint in his lavender eyes. The albino sighed in defeat and wrapped his ivory arms around the soft toy, crushing it against his abdomen violently. He gazed at his lover desperately, as if the bear was searing his skin like holy water. The blonde just smiled lovingly, snuggling his face on Bakura's cheek. The ex-tomb robber observed with disbelief etched onto his elegant face.

"Good boy! You want a cookie?" Malik teased his boyfriend whilst slipping a magenta tongue into view. Bakura smirked and leaned down, chomping down on the other boy's appendage. The blonde yelped, hopping away from the albino swiftly and inefficiently. He ended up tripping over the low-rise coffee table and falling face-first in the bowl potpourri. This sent his lover into hysterics, and soon into tears.

"What the… hell?" Marik asked as he entered the living room, "Is this what you two do in your spare time? Is potpourri supposed to be kinky or something?" Malik's cheeks had been infested with the devious "blush" as he replied, "No! I just landed in the bowl when I fell! Don't make assumptions, yami!" "Yeah," Bakura chimed in, "It's not kinky. Just a turn-on." Now it was the spiky-headed yami's turn to burst out laughing and end in tears. "That was almost as funny as the time we stole Yuugi's hair-care products and made a bonfire with them! It burned so well," the retired tomb robber chuckled. The tomb-keeper nodded, "Uh-huh. He almost had a heart attack. And then he bawled for five straight hours because his hair frizzed out. He had a friggin' AFRO! It was awesome."

"Idiots…" The only hikari in the room muttered as his picked the weird-smelling dried flowers out of his golden locks.

"Yes, but we're your idiots."

"Lucky me…"

~Owari~

Whee! That was short, but fun. The "Good boy! You want a cookie?" line is mine as far as I know. I say that to my crush all the time. He always sticks his tongue out at me when I say that. XD Oh, the places my ideas come from… Anyway, review! Well, you don't have to, but I want to know how I pulled off the whole "yaoi" thing. Lol.