World without an Image
REDONE VERSION

So I bet you are wondering why? The answer is simple, it needed to be done.
I was a mere beginner when I started this and while my skills grew
this still remains ugly in many ways.

I don't understand why people love this so...

I feel like I owe something to this fanfic.
Perhaps a thank you for helping me grow as a person and as a writer?
I am not really sure.

Still,
here it is.
The entire fanfic has been revised.

Please enjoy yourselves.

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. This is true in all chapters.

Summary: One man and one knife. Both cutting deep wounds. Confused and pained Misao runs away from life but a day will come when she has to face it again.

Chapter 01: Walking in the darkness
(Prologue + Chapter 01)

It was a chilly autumn evening and a woman known as Makimachi Misao was walking slowly back to her house. It had been a long and tiring day and she was ready to fall on her futon and asleep. Her steps were slow and lazy since she had no will left to move her body for all she wanted was sleep. The blessed rest...

A small ball that the children from a house nearby had forgotten outside interrupted her walk. She tripped. Surprised and tired she was unable to do anything to stop her fall. She fell over and groaned in pain as her body hit the ground, the ball hitting her foot painfully. It was the last straw.

She hit the ground with her fist and she wanted to cry. But as always these days no tears came and she realized all over again that she would never cry again. How many times during these past five years she had wanted to cry but had been unable? How many times had she laid her nails against her skin and pressed until she bled? How many times had she almost drowned in her misery? How many times had she lost hope? How many times?

She hadn't counted but she knew that the number only got bigger with time. She wanted just to stay laying there and forget everything, to stay still forever, forget and be forgotten. But she couldn't. Her nature was against such a failure and easy loss.

The freezing touch of the wind reminded her of the fact that it was autumn and winter was soon approaching. Should she stay there she would catch a cold and be even more miserable.

She forced herself to stand up, to ignore the pain both in her foot and in her tortured emotions. She tried to dust the grass and other dirt off her kimono when she heard a familiar female voice calling her name.

"Mei-san! Mei-san!" Misao turned her head towards the urgent voice full of worry. The voice of a nice and gentle woman who lived in the house nearby. The ball she had tripped over was probably one of her children's as they always left things laying around.

"Himiko-san. What is it?" Voice was all she had to recognize people of. Or maybe scent and feeling also. But not the way they looked like anymore. A moment of bitterness at that thought but she had gotten used to it and now it didn't matter anymore as much as it had before. Expect when she thought of the past and all the people she had cut from her life. She could not bear the thought of being in their presence without seeing them.

"Are you alright, Mei-san? I saw you trip." She sounded worried. Misao, not wanting to worry her, smiled at her direction and spoke. "I am fine. Don't worry. I know how to take care of myself."

Himiko sounded a bit annoyed. "Really... I know that but that doesn't stop me from worrying about you! You are my friend. Now, are you really alright?" Misao laughed lightly. Himiko was a wonderful person and a good friend. First she had gotten after she had moved to this village a year ago.

"Really Himiko-san. Everything is fine." Misao smiled her hands busy trying to brush the rest of the dirt from her kimono's front. Himiko made a small sound of annoyance. "Well, I guess I can believe you since you don't seem to be hurt but then again you prefer to hide your pain from others." A sigh. "I'll tell to my kids not to leave their stuff laying around anymore."

Not knowing what to say, Misao merely nodded knowing that it wouldn't be of much help. Kids were kids and remembering her own childhood and knowing Himiko's children it was useless. But if trying made her feel better she was free to do so.

"I can walk you home, if you want me to." Misao could feel Himiko's worry in her ki and hear it in her voice but shook her head. She needed some time for herself to recover her mental balance. "No but that you for the offer. See you later, Himiko-san."

Himiko hesitated a moment before answering. "Bye then Mei-san. Sleep well." Misao nodded and begun her walk to her house leaving Himiko to watch her back.

There weren't any other obstacles on her way and so it took only few minutes before she had reached her destination. A place she quite didn't dare to call home. It was a bit warmer inside, at least there was no wind to blow through the thin layers of her kimono.

She walked to her closet pulling out her futon and a yukata. After carefully opening her obi she removed her kimono and neatly folded it. She would ask Himiko to clean it for her tomorrow.

Misao seated herself in front of her small table, removed the folded fabric from her eyes and laid it down. After sitting still and silent for few minutes, she raised her hand and traced the scars that traveled over her eyes with her sensitive fingertips recalling the night that had changed everything.

World had consisted only sounds, scents and feelings since that day five years ago that a man from the past had decided to get his revenge. After that day her life had held no color or shape, only in her dreams she could see.

Five years ago, on the highroad

It was a sunny summer's day but merely few rays of sun reached Misao as she walked down a road in a thick green forest. She smiled as she admired the beauty of the nature. Green leaves, brown trunks. Flowers of rainbow colors, birds singing in the shadows. It was during days like this that she felt calm and peace. Her mouth was constantly curved into a small smile, her thoughts lifting her to the air.

It was a great day for traveling.

In three days she would be home in Kyoto and the thought brought with it a great anticipation. Only three days and she would see Aoshi-sama and others again and could show them what she had learned during the past year of traveling all around Japan from Hokkaido to Okinawa. She had met many members she had never seen before or only met them as a child. They had had much stories to tell, experiences to share and skill to teach.

She smiled at the thought.

She had so much to tell them about her training and journey. She could already imagine their faces and reactions to her tales and newly acquired skills. She had learned much about her people, about leading them and about herself. She now felt that she would be able to truly lead the Oniwabanshu. Her new fighting skills would surely impress them and now she could even conceal her feelings if she wanted to. Most of the time at least.

She was no longer a little girl who thought that she was a woman. She was a woman now and Aoshi couldn't use any of his usual excuses to weasel out of marrying her. She was old enough, hell she was already 18 years old, and it was about time for them to get married. All she needed to do was get him to agree and her life would be perfect.

She was bubbling with energy and could not resist sprinting for a while. She felt strong and free. Happy and excited. Everything was perfect.

Her feet hit the ground in a steady space and the trees and views flashed by her. Her legs carried her fast and strong. She felt almost as if she was flying, such was her ease in moving. Her legs were definitely stronger than they had been before she had left. Her breathing was easy and calm, her body just warming up. She could definitely feel the results of walking for an entire year.

Suddenly her thoughts and calm were broken as she felt that something was wrong and quickly followed her instincts and jumped backwards with a somersault. Her muscles obeyed her without hesitation or pain and she was glad at having run for a while or they might have protested at the sudden tension.

She heard a small blowing arrow hit a tree at the other side of the road and her eyes grew alert as she observed her surroundings. Trees and plants but no sign of an attacker. Here in the middle of a road she was a clear target but it couldn't be helped. She couldn't just jump into the unknown forest since she had no idea what might me waiting for. She doubted that this was a mere band of thieves since they were arrogant and made a lot of noises.

The silence was what worried her the most.

"Whoever there is you are dealing with the wrong person. Leave me alone or you'll be sorry."

Misao waited, but just like she had thought, there was no answer. She tried to locate the attacker when suddenly there was a noise at her left. Two kunais were in her hands and flying towards the target before two seconds had passed.

A muffled shriek.

She had hit the target but she couldn't let her guard down. There could be more of them hidden in the shadows and she had no idea of knowing how well she had aimed. The person she had hit might still be able to fight.

She inched slowly towards the forest on the other side of the road, away from the person she had hit. Suddenly she felt it and her body grew still for one terrifying realization. Her senses alarmed her of multiple attackers surrounding her in the shadows.

Misao's eyes widened in horror. This is an ambush!

But why?

And by who?

She didn't have time to think as dozens of small arrows were blown and she was too busy dodging them left and right. Despite her best efforts she could not avoid them forever. There were too many.

The pain that spread from her shoulder alerted her that one had hit her. The pain was not too bad but immediately after the hit their attacks were halted. The arrow was deep in her shoulder but she could still fight. So why stop now?

Unless...

Fear gripped her heart. Poison?

This was too much like an attack of a ninja for her to ignore. Stealthy and fast, organized and final. They were already sure of their victory but she didn't feel like surrendering so fast and turned to run. If they weren't attacking, she could at least try to flee.

She knew that movement only increased the poison's spreading speed but there was nothing she could do about it. If she stayed still there she would die. There was no one here to help her so she had to try to get away.

She had to... try.

The poison weakened her fast and after only hundred meters she fell to her knees, her limbs refusing to move.

Is this... it?

She fell forward to the ground and her body shook slightly. Her ears caught the sounds of people moving closer, the thunderous sound echoing from the ground into her ear. Her eyes were sliding shut and the last thing she remembered seeing was a pair of feet in front of her. After that there was only pain and blackness.

The first thing she realized was pain. It was not a pleasant way to wake up. Her head was aching from the poison, her body singed because of the fall, her wrists were numb and her stomach was hurting as if someone had hit it.

She moaned in pain as she opened her eyes only to shut them immediately again. There was a candle straight before her and the light was blinding to her eyes which were adjusted to the darkness. Automatically she tried to shadow her eyes with her hands but found that she could not. Not only were they tied behind her but they were also numb because the robe had been tied too tight and the blood could not circulate into them normally.

"So you are awake at last." A masculine voice spoke somewhere close to her and Misao twisted her head to see the man. The headache attacked her instantly and she groaned. Her eyes opened slightly but she could not see him. The light was still too bright. Perhaps that was the reason why it had been placed so close to her face.

He seemed amused, his snickering was all she could hear.

Annoyed, she twisted her neck as much as she could to look away from the light. Forcibly she opened her eyes so that they could adjust to the light. She couldn't afford to remain blinded in enemy territory.

Slowly she could open them more and more but the ache spread from her head to her neck as she was forced to remain in an unnatural position. She tried to move to her back to ease her posture but the numbness made it hard.

He kicked her over and she bit her lip to keep from groaning at the added pain. But he had helped her move and now she could see better and the pain was slowly draining from her her neck as it recovered.

She was in a medium sized room that was lightened with few candles scattered around it. The only piece of furniture was a high table on her right. Her eyes sought out the man that had spoken to her and she did not like what she saw.

He was a tall man with short black hair. In the darkness of the room his eyes seemed pitch black, staring at her with glee in his eyes and malice on his lips. He looked about 30 years old but there were few strands of gray in his hair. He was glad in black and blue ninja uniform though she did not recognize it. He had no weapons she could see but it was not unusual among the ninja.

And this man was a ninja. If she had had doubts they were gone now. The attack pattern, his clothing and the skillful knotting of the robe all spoke for that. He may not have done those himself but if he was the leader, then he too was a ninja. Probably.

There were other men also in the room. They were hidden in the shadows and Misao could only feel that they were there, feel their eyes upon her. Alert and cautious. They were there to make sure she didn't harm their leader or to make sure she didn't escape. Or both.

She didn't want to admit it but she was afraid. She had no idea as to why they had done this. What did these people want from her? Why had they attacked and captured her?

The look on the man's face did not promise anything good and as he moved closer she tried to back away but couldn't. He snickered again and knelled before her.

She stared at him with more defiance she felt. She could almost smell the blood of all the people he had killed. His presence was suffocating. Unlike Aoshi and Himura who hid their darkness, this man did no such thing. He did nothing to hide his sadistic nature either. His thin lips were curled in a smile that made her feel fear of the future.

He extended his hand and cupped her cheek. His hand was cold and dry against her skin and it disgusted her but she couldn't pull away and he knew it. All she could do was stare into his cold eyes as he studied her face turning it left and right.

"Makimachi Misao right? The self-proclaimed okashira of the Oniwabashu. The joke among the ninjas, a little girl thinking that she is really the one everyone obeys."

Her eyes widened and her lips tightened into a thin line. He laughed and she scowled. How dare he even indicate something like that!

Without a pause, without mercy he continued spilling out insults. "Even if you are the granddaughter of their past leader I don't understand how they can even pretend taking orders from a weakling like you..."

It was getting hard to keep her rage in check. It took all she had to keep her mouth shut and so her eyes reflected all she felt. Anger, disbelief, crushed hope and desperation. It was hard to try and keep her trust in her friends with her when her confidence was crushed by being captured this easy. And he knew it all.

"But your stupidity certainly gave me a change so I must thank you. Finally... I can punish him. That dead grandfather of your... For daring to kill my older brother! I think that sending his precious granddaughter to hell will give him my message ."

Misao's eyes went wide as she understood his goal. She didn't remember much of her grandfather but what the man said was possible. A lot of blood had been spilled in the past. If what the man was true, or even if it wasn't, this man was after revenge. It hadn't been unusual in the past but now it was already so far in the past that hardly anyone anymore held grudge or acted on it.

But he was now acting on it. He had obviously waited for a good moment and then attacked, making sure she was alone with no one expecting her. How long had he been following her to find an opportunity like this? How long had he had spies after her without her ever noticing a thing?

The thought was sickening and it doubled her terror. She had to get away from here as soon as possible or he would without a doubt kill her. And there was no knowing what else he was planning... Revenge was never a pretty thing. It was the culmination of hatred, rage, anger and malice.

"You are afraid. No wonder. You must have realized that there is no escape for you by now." His voice was colder than Aoshi's had ever been. His hand caressed her cheek gently and she tried to move it aside, away from him and his filthy hand but his hand moved from her cheeks to her neck and kept her in her place. A tight cruel smile rose to his lips and his hand tightened around her neck.

The pain was nothing next to her desperation for air. She tried to move but couldn't. She tried to breath but couldn't. She would die here. She knew that then and her eyes widened in fear and desperation.

Then suddenly he took some of the pressure away and she could breath again. The air was cold but she breathed it in fast and as much as she could. There was no telling if he would stop her breath again.

Before she understood what was happening, instead of threatening to strangle her he had pressed his mouth against hers.

Her eyes widened and she tried to turn her head away from him but his hand on her neck stopped her. He forced her mouth open and plunged his tongue in. She could not move or push him away so she tried to bite him but didn't have a change before he had pulled back already.

It took her a moment to gather herself and then her eyes sparked and she spit at his face. The rage on his face made her feel that she had done something seriously wrong and she couldn't do anything to avoid his fist.

Her lip broke and blood trickled down her chin. Still it would take more than that to make her feel the terror that had been replaced with disgust. She turned her face to look at him defiance clear on her face. To her surprise he smiled.

"This is going to be fun but I don't like the way you look at me. So let's get that useless defiance off your pretty face, shall we? I like hearing your screams more than seeing your face anyway."

He rose and walked to the table. He stopped to think for a while and then returned with a tantou in his hand. The blade gleamed in the candlelight and Misao felt a surge of panic rising. She tried to calm herself but all she could do was hide it. The panic was still there and her chest rose and fell along with it.

"What do you think you are doing! If you dare to hurt me in anyway you are going to get the whole Oniwabashu after you!" She tried to sound sure but he was not scared by so little. He was much too sure of his position and power. Also, there was no guarantee they would ever find out what had happened to her if she was unable to escape to tell the tale. He knew all this all too well.

The man dared to laugh at her words and walked slowly to her. Misao pulled franticly at the bindings that held her wrists and feet captive trying to get as far from him as possible. There was no future for her if she couldn't escape. But no matter how much she tried to wriggle and move, the results didn't appear. Her efforts only seemed to amuse him.

He stopped her movements by sitting on her. Her stomach ached at his weight and the further restrain of movements caused a new wave of terror in her. Was there no way to escape?

The man brought the blade to her and moved it slowly before her eyes. She could see her reflection from the blade and the look of a scared little girl she saw made her anger explode in her. Defiance once again rose to her eyes and words.

"You won't break me with something like this. I am stronger than you believe." She said keeping her chin high and her eyes locked with his. She would not back away. She would show him that she was not a little girl but a woman worthy of her status.

A look of wonder flashed in his eyes before the man spoke smiling at her. "I didn't think so. And no, I am not trying to break your mind since that comes automatically after breaking a body." Then he turned his attention to the other people in the room. "Keep her still." He ordered.

Shadows separated from the walls of the room. There were at least ten men their faces covered with masks. They moved to her and pressed her against the floor. Misao tried to fight them but couldn't do much with him sitting on her and her hands and feet bound. Her head hit the hard floor painfully as she struggled and someone took a tight hold of it. Misao couldn't move herself at all even though she tried with all she had. She screamed out her frustration.

Still she refused to look afraid. The man moved the knife closer to her face and she tried to move away but the man holding her head was too strong. The man pressed the blade against the skin beside her left eye. The cold blade sent shivers across her skin.

"I told you that I would take that look off you face, off your eyes." He was smiling.

Misao felt the blade sink into her skin and blood started to flow down the side of her face. Then the blade moved, opening her skin all the time inching closer to her left eye. Misao bit her broken lip, trying to keep herself from whimpering in pain and closed her eyes.

She gave up then. There was nothing she could do against them alone.

The blade severed her skin and Misao screamed in pain as it broke her eyelid, crushed her eye and moved over her nose to her right eye without stopping before it reached other side of her face.

She had never felt any pain like this before. It exploded inside her brain and she didn't even feel the blood flowing down her face since all of her nerves connected to her eyes were screaming in agony inside of her head. She sobbed but she was not sure if any tears came out. It hurt too much to feel anything else.

Then he started again and repeated the movement over and over again. From right to left and back again. The pain was too much and she screamed endlessly. Always when she was close to passing out because of the pain he stopped for a while to let her recover. Then he started again.

Left to right.

Right to left.

Left to right.

Right to left.

He didn't stop until her eyes were completely destroyed and blood covered all of her face. Her screams had not stopped or paused even for a minute. She had only screamed her throat sore, she had not begged or spoken.

The man looked down at her bloody face wonderingly and reluctantly admired her courage before such pain. "Hmm. It seems that you truly are stronger than I thought. Well then I'll just have to--"

"Shimabara-sama! Shimabara-sama!"

Her mind wasn't really aware of anything besides the pain but she did hear the name. The name she memorized for the rest of her life. She couldn't even remember his face that well anymore but that name she etched forever into her mind. Revenge was not a pretty thing but...

Hurried footsteps neared the room before the shoji was opened and a man stepped through. "I am sorry to interrupt you Shimabara-sama but there is a very urgent message to you, very urgent. It is from... well you know." The way the informer said those word seemed to calm Shimabara who had looked at the man ready to kill him for interrupting his fun. He nodded. "I'll be there in a minute."

The informer nodded and hurried away. Shimabara rose to his feet and looked down at the bloody mess on the floor. "Keita, watch over her. The rest of you leave with me." Then he turned and walked away closely followed by all of the people except the one who held her head.

The man was silent as he watched the woman before her. She made small pained sounds and the blood continued to fall down her cheeks and neck. Her black hair was covered in blood just as the floor around her. He took a piece of his belt and tied it over her eyes tightly. Perhaps it would be enough to stop the bleeding for now.

"I am sorry." He said knowing that no words were enough.

He had always respected Shimabara to some extent but what had happened before him just now had erased all such feelings away. He was now able to see what kind of man he was following without anything hindering his sight. He had no intentions of doing so anymore after this.

He pressed his hand on her forehead to calm her, leaned over and whispered into her ear. "I'll help you out of here. I swear. I won't let them hurt you anymore."

He doubted if she heard him at all but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was helping her. Perhaps that way he could redeem some of himself...

Five years after, at Suzu:

Misao's hand fell down from her face and her scars.

Funaki Keita had kept his promise and helped her out of there. He had also helped her to cope with her blindness for the first few weeks before they had met Yoko. She had been the miracle worker who had taught her everything she knew now except for what she had learned in this village during the past year. Of living without seeing.

Four years she had lived with Yoko training in all ways possible. Nothing had became naturally to her, nothing had came easily. She had had to learn a new way of walking, eating, organizing... Everything.

Losing her sight had also forced her to learn how to fight all over again without relying on her eyes. All she had left were her hearing and sense of touch.

First two years had been hell for her. Frustration when she failed all over again and again, broke things as she hit them, fell over things left on the ground. She had screamed her until her voice was gone, till it hurt like hell. There had not been much hope in her. The pain had been with her all the time but she had not grown numb.

The memories didn't leave her alone. The desire to see again didn't leave her alone.

The only good thing that came out of it all was her knowledge of ki. That and sounds were what helped her to cope with humans and animals better.

After she had learned everything she had to learn from Yoko she had wondered. What would she do now? Not for once did she consider returning to Kyoto or going to Tokyo since there she could meet people she knew from the past and that was something she wanted to forget.

The past of seeing...

So she had started wandering, learning how to walk in the forest and on the road. That had been her life until she had reached a village called Suzu. She had fallen in love with the people and the atmosphere of the village almost as soon as she had entered it and so she had stayed there.

She had found work as a waitress which surprised many of them. They couldn't believe how well she moved around and dodged things without seeing them. It was a wonder to the customers as well which meant that she actually attracted people to watch her which was good for the business.

Of course when someone moved a table or something else out of its ordinary place she hit them. But she never lost her temper, just smiled and wondered just how clumsy a person can be.

Soon she was no longer blind in their eyes, just one of them. Not for once did anyone of them ask her what she hid behind the bandage that ran over her eyes. They did not know the sorrowful tale of her life as she had no desire to replay it in her mind.

All they knew was a fake name and some more pleasant memories she had shared with them. It was her way of cutting away her past and the person she had been. She couldn't return there no matter how much she wished.

But she feared that a day may come. A day when she would be forced to meet her past again. It was a fear she never managed to shook off.

Chapter 01

rewriting status: DONE
Spellcheck: Left that to the computer.