So after a long hiatus I'm trying to bring this one to a close. Sorry for the long delay, but life got in the way and my muse was rather uncooperative. Hopefully I can finish this one off in a few chapters!

Of Strange Dreams and Things We Can't Undo

After an afternoon of moving Dean and Castiel's belongings from the hotel room to Bobby's place and setting everything up for the makeshift hospital ward Jimmy and Bobby cracked open a beer and sat on the porch steps resting. Dean was safely home from the hospital and sleeping off the anesthesia inside. The tell tale thump of Castiel's crutches on the floor inside told them he was on his way out from inspecting his new home.

Bobby looked up as Castiel stopped and scanned the porch for a place to sit. "Sorry Cas, I don't do much relaxing on the porch. Let me get you a chair."

"Not necessary. I'm fine to stand for a bit. Sitting or lying down all the time is wearing on me."

"I hear that. My old wheelchair is out in the garage though. I'll bring it inside later. You or Dean might prefer that."

"Dean might. I prefer to avoid them if I can."

Bobby took his cap off and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Did Sam get Dean settled OK?"

"Yes, he's sleeping. Hopefully he'll be in a better mood when he wakes up."

Bobby chuckled and shook his head. "I doubt that. He'll be in a bad mood until he's walking again I'm sure."

Jimmy downed his beer and took a deep breath. "Well, now that I've done my heavy lifting for the day I think I'll go inside and get to work finding out were Amelia and Claire are. Figure out how to tell them I'm back."

Bobby looked up from inspecting a loose board on the steps. "I didn't say anything at the diner because I didn't want anyone to overhear, but you'll need my help on that. I of put them in the hunter version of Witness Protection. You'll find references to them, but they are all planted to throw off anyone that is looking for them."

"Thanks Bobby. It's nice to know you guys were looking out for them when I couldn't."

"Well I can get hold of them, so your only job is to decide what to say."

"Are they….I mean…do you know if Amelia…" Jimmy's voice trailed off, breaking as he mentioned his wife's name.

"Sorry…I don't know. I haven't had any contact since I arranged everything. Figured it was better that way. She knows how to contact me if she needs to, but it might take me a day or so to make contact with her. I made sure I didn't know her final location by letting someone else make the arrangements…just in case. Just let me know when you are ready for me to make the call."

Jimmy rubbed his face with his hands and took a shuddering breath. "Make it. It won't get any easier if I wait. I'm just afraid they have moved on."

Castiel looked up and shot Jimmy a confused look. "You couldn't see them from Heaven?"

Jimmy shook his head sadly. "No, only you. That was the worst part, wondering why…thinking maybe I couldn't see them because they were dead and in their own Heaven."

"They aren't dead. At least they weren't when I could see them…I know that much, but I am uncertain if they have…moved on. That wasn't something I was looking for or concerned about…I didn't realize until I became human that it would be important to you."

Jimmy looked at Castiel thoughtfully. "It's OK Cas. You kept your promise and looked after them. That'sthe important part."

Castiel sighed and shifted on his crutches. "I can't look after them now. I hope they will be OK without my oversight."

Bobby got up and downed the rest of his beer, then squeezed Castiel's shoulder as he walked into the house. "I'll go make the call. I'm sure my guys have their backs…don't worry, Cas."

Jimmy made no move to go inside, leaning against one of the porch railings and staring out at the setting sun. Castiel started into the house as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb him.

Jimmy looked back and caught Castiel's eye, then inclined his head toward the setting sun. "That's my heaven you know…one long perpetual sunset."

Castiel stopped, wondering why he would state the obvious, then moved over to stand beside him. "I'm aware. Does it have a special meaning to you?"

Jimmy sighed and looked down at the empty beer bottle he was still holding. "The day I realized I was in love with Amelia we had gone to the lake for the day. We sat and watched the sunset and I told her I loved her for the first time. It wasn't the same though…in Heaven."

"Because she wasn't there."

"Well there's that, but even though the one in heaven was always perfect and beautiful I knew it wasn't real."

"You knew it wasn't real? Most in Heaven aren't really aware they are in Heaven. There are exceptions of course…Dean and Sam's friend Ash for example."

Jimmy laughed and turned back toward the house. "Ah yes, Ash. Entertaining young man. He paid me a visit once when he was fine tuning his Angel radar. He was hoping I could help since I used to be an Angel condom."

Castiel looked back toward the sunset and cringed inwardly at the thought that Jimmy wasn't blissfully unaware in Heaven. "I'm sorry"

Jimmy smiled and reached out to place his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "The time for apologies is past. I've got my second chance and that's all I ever wanted. I'm not sorry I said yes."

Castiel hesitantly reached up and placed his hand over Jimmy's. "I'm sorry I asked though. All this would never have happened if I had figured out what was really going on sooner."

"Look Cas…like I told you at the hospital…I'm good. You may be an Angel, but you were just as much a pawn in the whole thing as I was. No hard feelings."

Castiel sighed and watched as Jimmy pushed himself off the porch rail and went into the house, leaving him alone on the porch. He looked out at the fading sunset and marveled at how beautiful it was to human eyes. Even without the colors he could see as an Angel that humans could not, it was in some ways more beautiful to him now than ever before. His friends had forgiven him and he was still alive. Human, but alive. He committed the sunset to memory and turned to go into the house. There was something he would do for Jimmy and Amelia. It wouldn't begin to make up for all he had done to wreck their lives, but perhaps the gesture would be enough somehow.

Everyone had scattered to their own rooms by the time he reentered the house, so he slipped into Bobby's bedroom where Dean lay sleeping. He didn't want to wake Dean, but he wanted to get started on his gift before the brilliant colors of the sunset slipped from memory. He quietly unpacked the art supplies Dean had given him and laid everything out carefully before he started painting. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't stop until he heard a low moan from Dean in the other bed.

"Cas? What time is it?"

Castiel glanced over at the clock and was shocked to see it was 4 am. "Um…4 am. Did you need something?"

Dean sat up and blinked sleepily at the lamp that Castiel still had turned on. :"Why are you up at this hour?"

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I just had something I needed to do and I didn't notice the time. I'm still not really used to needing sleep."

Dean threw the covers back and glared at the cast on his foot before grabbing his crutches. "S'OK Cas. I need to pee anyway."

Castiel watched as Dean clumped off to the bathroom, still regretful that his fear of Sam had caused Dean's accident in the first place. He glanced back at the painting, wondering why he was even bothering to do it. It was such a small gesture considering all he had done. The reds and oranges burst forth on the canvas, reflected in the lake that he had never seen, but somehow looked familiar. He took a small brush and worked on the figures in the foreground on the blanket. It seemed strange to be painting his own face and as he concentrated on the detailed work he failed to hear Dean's return to the room. He jumped when Dean spoke from just beside him.

"It's beautiful Cas. Is that you?"

Castiel looked up and sighed. "No, it's Jimmy and Amelia. I just…well I thought it was something I could do as a gesture, but now it seems such a small gift for the damage I caused. We aren't even sure if Amelia will want him back."

Dean placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Just keep working on it, Cas. I'm sure everything will work out for them somehow."

Castiel put down his brushes and closed up his paints as Dean made his way back to the bed. He had been up too long and his leg was beginning to ache. He looked down at his cast and rubbed ineffectively on the outside, wondering if it would ever feel normal again.

Dean smiled and looked at his own cast before swinging his legs back into bed. "It gets better Cas. Won't be long before you are back to normal."

"When does it stop aching? The sharp pain I could deal with, this dull ache is…relentless."

Dean sighed and pursed his lips. "I'll give it to you straight Cas. It might not stop. Just depends on how well it heals, but unless you get your Mojo back it might give you trouble always."

Castiel sighed and pulled himself up into the bed, groaning as his still sore ribs complained. "That's what I'm afraid of. I don't remember what it's like not to hurt somewhere."

Dean huffed a small laugh. "Welcome to the human race. When you lead a life like ours something always hurts or aches. Can I ask you something,Cas?"

"Of course, anything you wish."

Dean took a deep breath and decided to ask about the dream. "That dream I had that first night at the hotel? I was just wondering…I mean it was so real, man. It was like I was in your body or something."

Castiel cocked his head at Dean, wondering if his dream walking power had manifested unbeknownst to him. "What was the dream?"

"I was back in Crowley's place when you went nuclear, and God picked me up by my…your…God I don't know. It was weird."

"God picked you up by your wings and tossed you to earth?"

Dean ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Ummm yeah. Did that really happen?"

Castiel took a deep breath and flopped down on his pillows, vague flashes of memories dropping into place. "As far as I can remember, yes. I'm not sure why you were dreaming it though. I have no grace to go dream walking."

"Weirder things have happened. What I really want to know I guess…I had these feelings. Like I knew they were yours, but they were mine at the same time. Like you were ready to die…wishing to die."

"I was. I was so ashamed of what I had done and didn't want to face the ones I had harmed. I was ready."

Dean laid back on his pillows as well and then turned to face Castiel. "I hope you don't feel that way now? It seems like all the pieces are falling into place."

Castiel sighed. "At times, yes. I was ready to die, especially in those first days in the hospital. It seems strange now in retrospect that I would even have done those things, but if Father let me live…albeit in such a damaged state then he must have more work for me. I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't keep going."

"It's your life, Cas. Just live it, don't worry about that dick of a Dad you have. You've done enough for him for a lifetime...several lifetimes. We've got your back, whatever happens."

A rush of relief flooded through Castiel and he felt a strange tugging in his gut. Here was the very person he had wronged most telling him it would be OK. It had to be, if his friends had forgiven him. "Thank you, Dean. I will. Perhaps Father put that dream into your head so you could help me, I don't know."

"We'll figure this all out. Find you something to occupy your time. Maybe you can volunteer at the hospital or teach art or something. If your leg heals up OK and you want to hunt with us we'll teach you to shot and all that crap…whatever you want to do. You are just as much family as Bobby. I guess if I had remembered that more when Crowley was playing you I'd have seen what was going on instead of getting mad about it."

Castiel smiled slightly and turned on his side to face Dean. "I made that a little difficult. I'm sorry. I should have asked you for help the first time it occurred to me to do so, but I didn't want to disturb your new life."

Dean winced slightly, thinking of Lisa and Ben, but realized that whatever happened he never would have stayed with them for long. It just wasn't in the cards for him to have that life. "I wish I could go back and never have been in their lives…for real I mean."

"But if you hadn't Ben would have been killed by the changeling. That had nothing to do with their relationship with you."

Dean sat up and stared at Castiel. "You know about that? I mean that was before you made an appearance."

"Yes, I know because all the memories that I wiped from their minds are safely in my head still. I thought perhaps that some day you might want me to put them back. I also made sure they were forever hidden from Demons and Angels."

Dean smiled wistfully. "I loved her enough to let her go. I would never be that selfish again. If somebody wants to be with me they'll just have to take to take the whole package, hunting and all. I don't think doing that to Lisa and Ben was right…because I knew deep down it would never have worked in the long run."

"If it helps, Lisa knew it wasn't going to work. She just wanted to see you happy if even for a short time. She harbored no ill-will against you. She understood."

Dean laid back down and put his hands under his head. "Did she know I really did love her and Ben…just not enough to feel really happy?"

"She knew."

"Thanks, Cas."

"For what?"

"For thinking to save the memories, for protecting them."

"But I was the one that put them in danger. It was my duty to do so. For you and for them. I only regret that I can't put the memories back now."

"It's OK, Cas. It's the thought that counts. You didn't know Crowley would sink that low."

"Yes, I did. I should have known he would do something like that when I told him you and Sam were off-limits."

"You couldn't think of everything. It's all good, Cas."

Castiel thought back over all the bad decisions and sighed, wishing he could also go back and do some things over, but it was what it was. When the sounds of soft snoring indicated Dean had fallen asleep, Castiel reached over and turned out the light. Sleep was elusive, but he knew tomorrow would probably bring news of Amelia and he needed to be rested for whatever the day would bring.