For Broadwaykhaos' Jellicle Week March 2011, sorry it's a day late, to be fair, I wrote it yesterday, I just couldn't type it up till today :(
Tom and Samantha were a happily married couple. They owned a small house in a quiet little place called Victoria Grove, where they lived comfortably with their two cats, Max and Royalty. Or, as you may know them, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. Now, you of course know what these two got up two on Friday nights when Tom and Sam went out to dinner, but they didn't know yet. So don't tell them.
On one such Friday night, as per usual, the happy couple left, saying goodbye to the calico twins as they left. Sort of like this:
"Goodbye Maxie-waxie-faxie! Goodbye princess Royalty Shmookums! We'll miss you! Don't worry though, we'll be back in an hour. See you again soon!"
The twins replied with the listless yet regal nonchalance that is typical of larger cats, which they were not. But as soon as the door closed, Mungojerrie sprung into action, leaping to the floor to dash for his goodie bag. However, when his sister tried to follow suit, she lost balance, plummeted into a front roll, and landed on her face before sneezing loudly.
"Aw gash, yew okay sis?" Mungojerrie asked, visibly worried.
"Yeh, foine, jes' peachy. Whyd'ya ask?" she replied before vomiting on the hardwood floor.
"Yew shore y'can make it fer t'noight's raid?"
"Of coase not, y'dewfus."
"Do ya want me ta stay back wit'cha?"
"No, no, don' let me holdja back."
"Awroight, if y'insist!"
And on that note, Mungojerrie happily scurried out the door, leaving poor Rumpleteazer home alone.
"Well, oi guess if oi can't wreak 'avoc outside, oi moight's well wreak 'avoc INside!"
She started with the usual routine of looting the jewelry box, bagging what she liked best, and leaving the rest strewn across the floor. She then went on to disheveling the bed as best as she could, breaking plates, stealing forks, and in general making a grand mess. Once she was satisfied with the chaos she'd created, she stashed her goodie bag in it's usual hiding spot (right, like I'm telling YOU where it is), laid down underneath her cat-bed (which was turned upside-down, of course), and patiently awaited the return of her brother and owners.
When Tom and Samantha returned home, they were shocked to find their apartment in a state of complete disarray. Everything was broken, damaged, or simply gone. "Oh God" Tom muttered, "how could this have happened? We were only gone an hour!"
"Oh my God, honey, do you know what I think?" said Samantha.
"No, what?" replied Tom.
"I think this must be the work of those awful cat-burglars who've been going around town!"
A/N: Well, I thought it was funny.