A piece of music ignites something in Scully, and it drives her relationship with Mulder to a critical point.
Disclaimer: Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber is actually the first movement of his String Quartet in D Minor written in….Oh, you're actually reading it. Okay, standard disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and all things relating to The X-Files don't belong to me; they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, 20th Century Fox, and whoever else happens to take home a paycheck related to it. I am not one of those people; I'm not making any money on this. I'm just having some fun. So don't sue me.
Rating: G, PG, something like that. Don't worry, the kiddies won't be scarred for life from reading this.
Spoilers: Oh plenty, but none of them drastic. Some I can think of off the top of my head (in no particular order): Fight the Future, Momento Mori, Home, Field Trip. I'm sure there's more…basically if you haven't been watching all along and don't want anything ruined, don't read this. But if you've been following along, you'll be fine.
Author's Notes: I've always loved Barber's Adagio for Strings; it's always struck me as a testament of sweeping, overpowering emotion. I was listening to it again recently, and this little scenario jumped into my head. It's helpful to hear the piece before you read this. I toyed with idea of embedding a sound file onto this page, but I find those really annoying, and since people read at different speeds, it probably wouldn't match up with what I've got in my head anyway, so go download it. You won't be sorry.
Adagio for Two
By Lelila
Scully pulled her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. Why was it that she could never seem to keep up with all this paperwork? She never had that problem before being paired with Mulder. That was probably it. Mulder never let her get caught up. Just when she took a step in that direction, he hauled her off on some other damn fool adventure. So she spent days like this, when the pair of them weren't off chasing some paranormal phenomenon, scrambling to get caught up.
It wasn't like she was left to the task, oh no. Mulder was doing the same thing today as she was. Except, he was gone now. He'd left about ten minutes ago, saying he needed to stretch his legs after being cramped up in this basement pit for over six hours. Scully had no idea when he'd be back.
She was bored. She stretched herself, hearing her knees pop. Maybe she should take a walk too. She decided against it, but did get up and cross to Mulder's desk, flipping on the radio he kept there. Frowning at the hard rock she heard, she played with the dial to find the classical station she listened to when she worked at home. The sound of the Mozart clarinet concerto met her ears, confirming her find. It came in with amazing clarity considering the amount of cement around her. She smiled to herself. Good, she thought. Maybe this will make the time go faster.
She settled back into her chair just as the piece was finishing. She put her glasses back on and picked up the next report as the DJ prattled on about the piece and introduced the next one.
"And now, a very popular piece: the first movement of Samuel Barber's String Quartet in D Minor, more popularly known as Adagio for Strings."
Adagio for Strings. Scully loved that piece. Well, hell; if Mulder could have a break, so could she. She took her glasses off once more, kicked her shoes off, leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes, and let the music sweep over her.
The piece started tentatively; it almost crept in from nowhere and seemed as if it weren't sure this is what it wanted to do. Scully had always thought this piece seemed so sad, and it seemed that way now, but it also seemed almost…untrusting, as if it weren't sure what the boundaries were, and wasn't willing to push it. A lot like the beginning of my relationship with Mulder she mused.
The theme restated itself now, more sure, more trusting, a bit brighter. Mulder's smiling face flashed behind her closed lids. She realized that while she often doubted Mulder's theories about things, her doubt of him as a person had faded rather quickly. They had become partners in the truest sense of the word very early on in their relationship.
A long note in the first violin sounded now, and she could feel his large, soft hand enclosing hers, as it had many times, and could see his intense gaze. Yes, she pondered, the connection between us came pretty quickly.
For a long time Scully had denied to herself the great personal connection she had had to Mulder. She always knew they worked well together, but it had only been very recently that she had realized that her feelings for him weren't just professional. Their destinies seemed tied together, and that scared Scully. She wasn't sure what that meant. As the music settled into a pattern, Scully contemplated the dynamics of their relationship. It was a lot like the music at the moment; give and take seemed to be the key phrase.
The music began to build tension; more and more minor notes being thrown into the mix. Darker visions danced before Scully's eyes: visions of ghosts and vampires and water beasts. And all the while Mulder was right there, baiting her, challenging her, yet through it all, supporting her. A long low note sounded, and Scully was suddenly reminded of her abduction. The muscles she had been trying to relax suddenly tensed. She remembered little from that time, aside from the thought of being utterly terrified, and thinking that no one was even bothering to look for her. But Mulder was. She learned later that Mulder had been frantic the entire time she was gone; had gone without sleep and risked his job and his life to find and save her. To this day she wasn't sure how she felt about that.
The music turned a little sweeter, and the tension eased somewhat. She and Mulder had been through a lot, and there were moments when she had told herself that she didn't trust him, but she knew that wasn't true. She didn't always trust his logic, but she always trusted him. She realized now that there was a big difference.
Scully swallowed hard. There was a lump forming in her throat. Why was it that her entire world seemed to revolve around Mulder? As the music turned much more sad and tension-filled again, she was reminded of the fear and anxiousness that had plagued her during her spell with cancer. But even that had seemed to revolve around Mulder somewhat. Telling him she was ill was more difficult than telling her mother, because she knew he would take it as a personal affront; would make it his crusade until the bitter end. And he did. Thankfully the end had not been bitter; he had succeeded. He had worked a miracle for her yet again.
The music began to build toward its climax now; reaching higher and higher, the harmony becoming more and more diminished. Scully could feel the icy winds of Antarctica swirling around her. Antarctica. He had literally traveled to the ends of the earth to save her. A lesser man would have written her off, but not Mulder. As the music swirled to its pinnacle, she recalled huddling close to him, holding on for dear life as the craft - or what ever it was - lifted off and the wind threatened to suck them both into oblivion.
There was a long pause in the music, and Scully let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She drew in another, and realized that her cheeks were wet. She was crying. Because of Mulder. Because of all that he had done for her. For once she didn't hold it back.
As the music seemed to take a breath itself, Scully was filled with visions of the two of them in quieter moments; moments of sharing; talking about their families, their hopes, their dreams, their genetic make-up…
The theme restated itself for a final time, and Scully felt the sense of yearning, of reaching that she always felt when she heard this piece. But this time it wasn't a generic reaching for something intangible. This time it was for Mulder. Always for Mulder. After her abduction, during her cancer, after they'd nearly been digested by that plant. Throwing herself into his arms after he rescued her from that serial killer whose name she refused to remember. And holding his hand as they resolved to fight…together.
The piece ended nearly as quietly as it had begun, and Scully found herself beginning to calm down. The DJ jolted into her thoughts, prattling on about the history of the piece. She got up and switched the radio off. She slumped against Mulder's desk, and took several deep breaths in an effort to compose herself.
Just then, the door crashed open, and Mulder came in juggling two cups and a small bag. "Hey Scully, I hope you like hot…dogs…What's the matter?"
Scully caught her breath as she looked up. Their gazes caught for a long second, blazing into each other's souls. She quickly looked away. "It's…it's nothing." She wiped her eyes.
Mulder set down his burdens on Scully's desk and crossed to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If it's got you this worked up it can't be nothing."
"It's…it's silly," she said through ragged breaths. "I heard this piece of music…and I got to thinking about…about all we've been through together."
"And that's just beginning to get through to you now?" He tried to make light of it, but his voice was more serious than his words.
Scully shook her head, and went on as if he hadn't said anything. "About how…how you've always…about how you've put yourself on the line for me so many times. It's as if…as if I were more important than your quest for the truth."
He paused at that. After a long moment of uncomfortable silence, he tried to respond, but only managed a strained, "Scully…"
"I guess I should thank you," she whispered, finally meeting his gaze. She tried a small smile.
He turned and paced a step away from her, as if stung by her words. "Scully, don't you get it? They did all those things to you to get to me. You don't owe me anything. I owe you an apology. I owe you a thousand apologies."
Scully bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears again. Finally she managed: "You don't have to apologize. I could have walked away a thousand times. I'm here because I want to be. You know that."
Mulder turned to face her, and his defensive posture slumped. "Why didn't you? Walk away, that is?"
Scully considered for a moment. "I don't know," she finally said. "I've asked myself that question more than a few times, but ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that I…I wouldn't feel complete if I weren't working with you." She paused, sizing him up. The emotion began to roil in his eyes, but other than that he seemed unmoved. She went on. "You told me once I make you a whole person. You do the same for me."
Mulder shut his eyes against the words, and Scully was afraid for a moment that she'd said exactly the wrong thing, even though it was the truth. But all her doubts vanished when he paced the two steps back to her and put his arms around her. The tears welled up in her eyes again, and the lump in her throat returned. A sob escaped her lips as he kissed the top of her head.
"Shhhhh," he whispered into her hair, stroking it. After a few moments, he gently framed her face in his hands and lifted it up to meet his gaze. They stared into each other's eyes for a long few moments, and she could see that he was trying to say something, but he didn't - or couldn't - speak. The emotion hung thick in the air, and Scully was reminded of the long slow climb the music had taken to its climax. Reaching, straining, until finally…
That's how it happened. Slowly, ever so slowly, their faces drew nearer, until finally, in a heart-wrenching moment, he touched his lips to hers. It was soft, undemanding; simply an expression of what he could find no words to tell her.
It seemed to go on forever, but all to soon, the kiss broke. They spent a long few moments just looking at each other, digesting what had happened. The emotion built much more quickly this time, and they flew together, their lips searching for the others'. She threw her arms around him, and he lifted her up to sit on his desk. Much closer to his height now, the kiss deepened even farther as he pressed himself against her, holding her tight to his chest. They ached for each other, body and soul, just as the music had ached for a resolution.
They parted after what seemed like an eternity, gasping for breath. Silence hung still in the air, like the pause in the music after the climax. He started to draw away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"
She reached for him, cupped his cheek in her hand. "No…no need to apologize. I…I think that's something that needed to happen."
He smiled, half out of embarrassment. "No bees around to interrupt this time, huh?"
She smirked herself. "No." She slid her hands down his arms and took his in her own. She drew a deep breath, gaining her composure back, along with her resolve. "Well, now that we've officially broken the fraternization code, where do you want to go from here? We can't go back to the way it was, and…and I don't want it to."
"I…I don't either. Let's just…" He paused, picked her hands up and pressed his lips to each of them. "Let's just take it one day at a time."
She pressed her lips together, moistening them. "Okay." She took him in her arms. "Partner."
She could feel his smile against her temple. "Partner," he whispered into her ear as if it were a word of seduction.
And as she held him to her, she felt the calm sweep over her that usually swept over her at the end of Adagio for Strings. It had come a little late after this listening, but it was the most peaceful she had felt in years.
END
There! My first piece of XF fic. Lemme know what ya think!!