This is it, folks. Last chapter. It's been a long and interesting journey, especially for the story I had planned eight months ago.

Not a lot to say. This, again, is not a "happy" chapter, but there are few good moments I hope you like. I hope everyone who's read has enjoyed even with the dark overtones.

Read on!

Try, Fail, Try Again

Edward

For the third time in one night, Elizabeth woke screaming in her crib, and for the third time, I rushed to soothe her. I never had to ask her what was wrong. I could see Bella in her thoughts, and in quick succession, I saw the events of Bella's death play over in her mind. She wasn't angry with me or even upset. She was scared, and all I could do was hold her close so she would know she would never lose me the way she'd lost Bella.

Carlisle kept telling me it was normal. Elizabeth was almost a year and half old now. He said she would be prone to nightmares, though he couldn't tell me why. He'd been around enough babies to know it was just something they did. Once, he tried to say it was an instinct she had because she was different, and she'd already suffered one loss. She was terrified she would lose me. I could do no more than reassure her that would never happen.

But honestly, I was so frayed and . . . tired. Without Bella to reassure me of anything, I found myself falling deeper into the kind of depression any man who'd just lost his wife would feel. Only for me, it was worse. Because I was a vampire. Unlike a human man, I couldn't move on. The memory of watching Bella be killed wouldn't fade. No other memory would ever replace it, and nothing anyone said would ever change that. As a vampire, I knew would always close my eyes and see her. She'd been so brave, so determined. She'd known her fate all along, without me or Alice having to tell her. And it made me feel even worse than I already did. I'd tried to save her, but it had been in vain.

We'd been in Ithaca for six months. Every day was a challenge for me. I never slept, I never dreamed, but I was no longer alive. I only remained for Elizabeth and Renesmee. They were the only thing I had worth going on for, and I couldn't even be there for them. Even though Elizabeth found some comfort in my arms, she knew I was no longer whole. She felt the despair and sadness in me, and she always tried to help. But she somehow understood I would be like this for the rest of eternity.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her as we stood in the middle of our room. It was nearly three in the morning. The moonlight was all that illuminated the space around us. With her crib less than twenty feet from my bed, I was always at her side instantly. "I'm here," I promised.

"Mama!" she cried.

I rubbed her back, laying my forehead against hers gently. "I know, baby. I want her too."

I'd been reading about comforting 18-month-olds, and I realized after several passages that I had no warmth to give Elizabeth. I had no heart to lull her to sleep. Carlisle had recorded the sound of a heart beat and told me to play it when Elizabeth couldn't sleep. The strange thing about it was that I sometimes found I was warmer with her in my arms despite being much colder than she, and sometimes, I felt the inside of my chest lurch like my heart was trying to beat just for her. She . . . reminded me of Bella so much in that way, and it was times like that when I found it most difficult to have her close. She made me feel alive, and I felt selfish for thinking she had no right to do that.

By dawn, we were both sitting in the rocking chair next to her crib. She was asleep in my arms when Alice and Jasper found me after entering the apartment without knocking. I'd been expecting them. Along with Carlisle, they came the most, making sure Elizabeth and I were all right by ourselves. I always reassured them we were fine, but sometimes, they didn't believe me. And I didn't have the energy to argue — not anymore.

"Was she awake all night?" Alice asked, moving to my side fluidly and touching Elizabeth's cheek. Instinctively, I felt compelled to stop her, but I didn't. "I know you're doing the best you can. You shouldn't be here alone."

I rose from the chair away from her and Jasper. "We're fine," I insisted for what felt like the millionth time. "I've told you not to come so often."

Edward, stop, she pleaded silently.

I bowed my head solemnly, and Jasper moved closer slowly, reaching for Elizabeth and waiting for my approval to take her gently.

"I'll fix her breakfast," he offered.

I watched him leave the room with her wrapped around his neck, and my arms suddenly felt so empty. Alice stepped in then, on her toes as she enveloped me in her own embrace. I held onto her reluctantly. It wasn't the same as having Elizabeth in my arms, and she knew that. Still, she held me.

"I . . . can't imagine what this is like for you," she whispered. "I saw it with my own eyes, and I still can't . . . Edward, I'm so sorry."

"Stop," I pleaded, nudging her away and then turning to the window as it overlooked the north half of town and then the lake in the distance. "You can't fix it. Stop apologizing. I did this. No one else is to blame."

She wanted to argue with me. I could see it in her thoughts. But she never spoke, moving up behind me and encircling my waist with her tiny arms. She laid her ear over the middle of my back, comforting me. I was accustomed to this now. Everyone had been doing this for six months.

After having a funeral service for Charlie and Rene's sake, after I'd told them about Bella being in a car accident and being burned beyond recognition, I'd forced myself to listen to their accusations and hateful words. I knew leaving them in the dark hadn't been my doing. But in their eyes, I'd taken their daughter from them. And if it made them feel better, then who was I to deny them their sorrow and pain? I couldn't tell them I was feeling it a hundred times worse than they were. I couldn't tell them the truth. But at least they could move on. It's what Humans did. But I was stuck here — forever.

"You know she wouldn't want this," Alice stated plainly, not speaking Bella's name but obviously meaning it.

"She's dead," I whispered blankly. "It doesn't matter what she would want."

Alice spun me around then, giving me a hard look and pounding me chest with her tiny hands. "Edward, please. I know you're in pain. And I know you feel like you can't move on from this. Believe me. I know. But you can't give in to this. You can't give up. For Elizabeth. And Nessie. For all of us. It wasn't just you who did this. It was me too. There was so much I could've done. So much I could've said. You know as much as I do this could've been prevented. And instead of acting on it, we chose to ignore it and hope it didn't come to pass. And you know that was wrong. We have to do what Bella would want us to do. She wouldn't want you to lose hope. Please, Edward."

If I'd been able, I would've throttled her. But I knew she was right.

She didn't give me time to protest, pulling me from the room as I wore nothing but jogging pants and forcing me downstairs to the kitchen where Jasper was currently fixing Elizabeth breakfast.

Elizabeth was awake with her head on Jasper's shoulder. He glanced at me while cooking, but he said nothing. I sat at the kitchen table, silent and stubborn as Alice moved through the kitchen to find a plate and silverware for Elizabeth to eat with. She'd been trying hopelessly to fill in where Bella might have, but every now and then, I could tell she was trying too hard and didn't like failing when Elizabeth refused to comply. It seemed I wasn't alone in my inability to move on from what had happened.

"Carlisle said he would come by today too," Alice said as she set the dishes on the table and moved to the refrigerator to find juice for her niece. "Esme's been so worried. I want to give her a good report, but you aren't making it easy, Edward."

I sat by without saying a word, feeling her eyes on me as she poured Elizabeth a cup of orange juice and then tightened a lid over the liquid. She sat across from me, reaching for my hands and holding on when I tried to stop her.

"Edward, I love her too," she whispered. I knew she was speaking of Bella. But it wasn't the same. Nothing was the same. "I won't ever forget her. None of us will. Please don't make me take you back to Carlisle so he can watch you every day."

Jasper arrived at the table then, carrying Elizabeth and plate of pancakes and eggs. In six months, he'd learned to cook not only for her but for Renesmee as well whenever my eldest daughter stayed with me. After everything that had happened, Renesmee had been reluctant to return to school, but I'd insisted. Though I felt more wounded and weak than I ever had in my life, I refused to allow her to wallow with me. Despite having as clear a memory as me, I knew she would be able to make newer memories. She would always remember her mother, but it wouldn't rule her existence. Jacob had taken it upon himself to protect her when she wasn't with me even if he'd always done that. It was different now. He knew it was different, and so did I. Bella's death had hit us all hard, but I couldn't heal. At least they could in a way.

It was quiet for several minutes, and I was tempted to get up and leave. If Alice and Jasper were going to be here with Elizabeth, I wanted to be alone. I knew it wasn't . . . safe to do so, but I didn't care anymore.

"If you were human, I would tell you to eat," Alice interjected, to which I looked up at her. Then she continued. "Sleep. Shower. Something. How long has it been since you got dressed?" she demanded gesturing to my lack of clothing.

We'd all gone hunting nearly a week earlier, leaving Elizabeth with Jacob, and I'd participated only because I refused to give in to the empty feeling already tugging at my gut. The moment I'd returned with Elizabeth, I'd shed my dirty clothes and pulled on the jogging pants I now wore. I didn't need a shower or sleep. What difference did it make?

I inhaled reflexively, smelling the food along with Elizabeth's soft scent. I rose from the table stubbornly, leaving the room before she could stop me and stepping into my room without any intention of doing anything. No longer angry, I was frustrated. I sat in the rocking chair again, looking out the window and noticing the clear blue sky outside. Even the heavens betrayed me, forcing me to realize everyone was moving on. Everyone but me.

Alice and Jasper came upstairs after Elizabeth was finished eating. While he took her to the bathroom to give her a bath, Alice stepped into the room with an exasperated sigh.

"Well, I see we'll be buying another rocking chair," she noted, causing me to look at my hands as the chair arms disintegrated inside them. I hadn't even realized I was holding them so tight.

I pushed the arms away, allowing them to fall to the floor and then leaning over as Alice knelt in front of me.

"I can't do this anymore," I whispered, fidgeting uncharacteristically. "I can't be here anymore. I can't . . ."

She sighed again, wrapping her hands around mine. "You're being stubborn," she informed me. "You don't want to move on. And we both know that's why you're still like this. You don't want to forget her, and you never will. But Edward, she's gone. She died so you and Elizabeth and Nessie could live. She was my sister. And I will always love her. No one will ever replace her. But . . ."

"Nothing," I exclaimed. "But nothing. Nothing, Alice. There's nothing you can do. Stop trying."

"I won't," she cried. "You're my brother, and I love you. And you're wrong. There is something I can do."

Suddenly, from inside her head, the succession of images and visions she'd seen when Bella and I had found Elizabeth bombarded my mind. She showed me how much Elizabeth meant to me, and she reminded me why I'd become so attached to Elizabeth. It wasn't entirely Bella's doing or even mine. Elizabeth had become attached to me upon seeing me. Knowing this, I'd sought to give her as good a family as possible regardless of our differences. In so doing, I'd given her a long and happy future, and by being stubborn, I was hurting her.

A small flicker of Elizabeth's mother flashed through Alice's visions, but in a way I'd never seen her before. Her smooth, dark brown hair swayed in the light breeze as it barely touched her neck. Her green-gold eyes shimmered in the sunlight. A smile creased her left cheek gently, and I realized she was looking at me. What did it mean?

"You know what it means, Edward," Alice whispered. "It means that some day, somehow, you'll get better. You'll be better. You only have to accept it. You don't have to forget Bella. You won't. But eventually . . ."

She didn't finish her statement, but I knew what she wanted to say. And I refused to give in.

Jasper stepped into the room carrying Elizabeth in a towel, and he dried her off to dress her without any assistance from anyone. Elizabeth was as accustomed to his touch as she was with mine although I knew she would always want me more than him. She was more compliant than most toddlers would have been, allowing Jasper to put her in a clean diaper and then a simple outfit. But her eyes found mine even as I sat almost completely out of her sight. I knew she wanted me after being handled by someone else. I wanted her, but I couldn't expose her to my feelings anymore.

"Edward," Jasper whispered, coming closer with Elizabeth in his arms. I lifted my eyes to his. "I know you don't like it, but for just this once, I can help."

I knew his meaning. For several seconds, I was resistant. I knew his gift was only temporary, and whether he meant it or not, having him tamper with my feelings would only make things worse. But I'd been like this for months. I knew Elizabeth needed to see me in a better mood if her nightmares were going to stop.

I gave in silently, bowing my head and feeling contentment and hope wash over me like a cascade of warm water. The memories of Bella persisted, but for the first time in months, being without her didn't feel so hopeless. At first, I was confused. Wasn't I supposed to mourn? But then Jasper lowered Elizabeth into my arms, her fingers touched my cheek, and I felt whole again. She made me feel warm again, and my heart clenched like it was trying to beat again. My eyes found hers, and I knew what I needed to do. I looked at Alice and then Jasper.

"I'll change," I nodded, rising and giving Elizabeth to Alice. I dressed quickly, not wanting the feelings to dissipate, and when I returned to my brother and sister, they both looked astonished.

"Where are we going?" Alice asked, gently passing Elizabeth to my arms.

"Outside," I said simply.

They followed me curiously, allowing me to lead them through the house to the atrium at the back, and as soon as I saw the sun filtering through, I knew it was right place to be. Brilliant yellow light illuminated the hard wood floor, and I moved around to where the light was brightest. I didn't worry about how my skin would react to the sun. Carlisle had installed special glass in the event I would want to bring Elizabeth here. That had been six months previous. This was the first time both Elizabeth and I had been out here. She loved it immediately.

"Yes, it is very lovely," I agreed, lifting my eyes to look through the glass roof as the clear blue sky above expanded from one edge of the horizon to the other. "But this is only the beginning of it," I whispered to her, stepping toward the door out into the yard.

"Edward," Alice warned. "We can't go outside."

I grinned at her knowingly, the action no longer foreign to me. "Yes we can," I assured her. "Watch this."

I turned the door handle, whispering to Elizabeth and feeling her touch my neck as we stepped out into the sun. Once we were into the yard, I felt the soft grass cushion my bare feet. I turned back to Alice to see her staring at me wide-eyed. No longer did my skin react brilliantly to the sun with Elizabeth in my arms. I'd noticed it a few months earlier that every time I stepped in front of the window when the sun was out, she would diminish the sun's effects on me. With her, I looked normal. Pale and gold-eyed, but normal. And if I was correct, she could do it to Alice and Jasper as well despite not touching them.

I held my hand out to Alice. "Come on," I requested. "Trust me. Trust her."

Slowly, Alice eased out the doorway with Jasper close behind her. Just as I'd suspected, Elizabeth did for them what she was doing for me. The effect intensified the moment Alice laid her hand in mine. I pulled them into the yard, picking a spot in the shade and sitting down with Elizabeth in front of me.

Jasper's manipulations took a greater hold out here where I was more willing to relax, and for the first time in over a century, I was able to truly enjoy being outside in the sunlight.

"This is a first for us," Alice smiled, sitting near me and playing with Elizabeth. She was already learning to stand up on her own, and Alice held onto her hands to keep her steady. She didn't have to say her next statement, thinking it instead. Bella would love this.

Instead of feeling upset and depressed, I was surprised to feel sad but not overwhelmingly so. I knew Alice was right. Bella would've loved doing this. She'd already welcomed a chance to be outside with Elizabeth even though it had usually been cloudy. Remembering Bella didn't hurt the way it should have. But I knew it was Jasper doing that.

An hour passed silently as Elizabeth sat between me and Alice. When I heard the door opening and closing inside the house, I knew my father was there to check on me. Elizabeth made noise just then, piquing the intent ears of my father, and he followed her voice to the atrium where he finally saw the four of us outside in broad daylight. His shock was enough to put a new smile on my face. Upon seeing me smile, Elizabeth rose from the grass and crawled into my lap. She fell into me gently, and I caught her with one arm as Carlisle made his way toward where we were all sitting.

"I don't need to say anything, do I?" he asked, and I turned my eyes to his. He knelt behind me, watching his own skin do the same as mine had done the first time Elizabeth had made it so.

I shook my head. "No."

I could sense he knew of Jasper's manipulations, but he accepted it nonetheless, lifting his hand to my shoulder and squeezing gently.

"Then I'm glad," he whispered, smiling at Elizabeth as she smiled at him.

I closed my eyes, allowing Bella's face to fill my vision, but for an instant, I saw another face. This one was much different from Bella's, and it smiled at me while caressing my cheek. I knew this face despite having only seen a handful of times. I couldn't tell if this face was in my mind because of Alice or myself, but it was there despite how hard I fought to keep it away. Jasper had to work a little harder to keep me calm, and it was then that I knew I couldn't have him do this to me anymore. It wasn't natural, and I felt awful for feeling like I could exist without Bella. I felt as though I was betraying her by even considering the possibility of moving on without her.

"Edward," Alice said softly.

I lifted my eyes to hers, seeing more of her visions and fighting the urge to make her stop. "I'm all right," I assured her.

She didn't say anything after that, glancing at Jasper and then Carlisle before she lowered her eyes to Elizabeth.

Eventually, Elizabeth became tired as she laid against my chest, and we all decided to go back inside to keep from tiring her completely. Alice carried her upstairs to her crib. Carlisle sat me down in the atrium while Jasper cleaned up the kitchen.

"I'm surprised you allowed Jasper to use his ability on you," my father assessed gently. "I thought you disliked things like that."

"He was only trying to help," I offered. "And Elizabeth has been around me like this long enough. It was time for her to feel like I could be all right."

"But you're not," he insisted. "I can see that."

I kept my eyes from his, knowing he was right. I knew I would never be all right.

He leaned closer to me, laying his hand over my shoulder. "Edward, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. None of us can. And I know you're feeling this so deeply that it won't leave you, ever. But Bella wouldn't want — "

"It doesn't matter what she wouldn't want," I shouted, rising from the table and seeing him look up at me stunned. "She's dead! And I know she isn't coming back to me. I know, Carlisle. I don't need any of you to remind me of it constantly. It makes it worse!"

He dropped his eyes from mine, guilt written across his face more prominently than any other time I'd seen in the last six months. It instantly made me feel horrible for yelling at him. I knew he was only trying to help me. The problem with that was that he wasn't helping me at all. Every time Alice and Jasper and Carlisle came, it only further reminded me that I was alone and always would be. It no longer mattered what Alice showed me of Elizabeth's birth mother. She was beautiful, yes. But she wasn't Bella. No one would ever be Bella for me, ever again.

"I'm sorry, son," Carlisle whispered penitently.

"No," I said more calmly. "I'm sorry. Carlisle, I can't — I can't do this anymore," I breathed the same as I had to Alice. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I feel so lost. Except it's worse now than it was before Bella."

He rose to face me, lifting his hands to my face and forcing me to look in his eyes. "What can I do?" he begged. "I will do anything you wish for me to, but I can't help you unless you at least tell me. Please, Edward. You know how much I care for Elizabeth. But you're my son."

"I don't know what to do," I shook my head.

He didn't say anything else, still holding my face and thinking of how better I would be if I weren't alone all the time. Maybe he was right. Maybe he wasn't. But it was for me to decide, not him.

"Come to the house with me," he pleaded. "Just for one night. You and Elizabeth can be with your family, and we'll all keep her.

I knew this was the only thing that would appease him even if it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be left alone, and he knew that. "Fine," I conceded. "One night."

He bowed his head, thankful. "Good."

"I'll pack for Elizabeth."

He let me go then, and I stepped away from him. I had to be somewhere else now.

I didn't go to our room the minute I was upstairs. Jasper and Alice were still in her room watching her sleep, and I'd had enough of them for the time being. Most of the other rooms in the house were empty since I hadn't seen a reason to fill them with any furniture. None of them faced the backyard but allowed me to see the street in front as cars lined the curb. Carlisle's car was across the street, but I couldn't see Alice's Porsche. I wondered if she and Jasper had walked. It was a beautiful day, further betraying my need to stay inside away from the outside world. If I left the house, I would have to admit everyone else was right. And right now, I only felt like being stubborn.

I listened to Alice and Jasper whisper over Elizabeth as she slept, talking about how special she was and how beautiful she would be when she got older. Alice was thinking about all the things Elizabeth would want to do, wondering if it was too early to start showing her ballet and playing classical music for her. I felt indifferent about the entire endeavor even as I stood outside the door listening to them. I knew Elizabeth would do whatever she wished, and I knew her family would support her and help her no matter what she chose. I wanted to see those things, but the desire to remain this way while she did them was diminishing slowly. I couldn't raise her while I was like this.

"Edward," Alice called. "I know you're out there. You might as well come in."

I hesitated, clenching my fists and then stepping around the corner. Alice was facing the door while Jasper leaned over the crib. I pursed my lips slightly, moving closer to her slowly.

"I don't need a lecture," I informed her. "From you least of all."

"I would never lecture you," she exclaimed. "I only want to help you. I can't do that if every time I come here you act like a stubborn child."

Anger rose in me quickly, and I exploded. "Well, excuse me for mourning! I'm the one who lost my mate! I'm the one who had to stand by and watch her body ripped apart and burned while I was forced to do nothing to help her! I don't need your help!"

"Edward," Jasper admonished, now standing beside Alice as they both blocked my view of Elizabeth's crib. She hadn't stirred, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

I clenched my teeth, inhaling and then exhaling through my nose.

After half a minute, I lowered my eyes to Alice's, knowing she was looking at me with pain in her eyes. I didn't want to see that pain. I couldn't bear it anymore. But I looked at her all the same. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I have to find clothes for Elizabeth. Carlisle wants us to stay with everyone else tonight."

Her eyes lit up slowly. "I'll help you," she offered.

I didn't argue, stepping around her to be in front of Elizabeth's crib.

Nothing else was said as Alice moved around the room finding things to take with Elizabeth, and I reluctantly lifted my daughter from her bed so we could leave. Still, she didn't stir, laying her head over my shoulder and wrapping her hand around my neck. I followed Alice and Jasper out of the room silently, refusing to look back as I closed the door behind me.

Carlisle was waiting for us in the foyer. I saw Alice smile at him victoriously. With Elizabeth in my arms, I couldn't do anything to stop her. I kept my head down, following Carlisle out the front door. Jasper hurried around the house, turning off lights and locking all the doors. He and Alice exited the house last, waiting on the curb as Carlisle guided me to his car and then opened the back door for me. Against my better judgement, I lifted my eyes to the house that had been my home, or lack thereof, for the last six months, and I knew I wouldn't be coming back. I watched Alice's smile fall, but I said nothing, sliding into the back seat before Carlisle closed the door. I held Elizabeth to my chest, listening to her soft breathing and the quick thrum of her little heart. I memorized it.

Since moving to Ithaca permanently, Carlisle had sold the house in Illinois, using the money for a college fund for Elizabeth. He never said so much to me, but I knew he didn't want to have something that would constantly remind me of what I'd lost. The brownstone I stayed in with Elizabeth was situated inside the city, and it was across town from where he worked at the Cayuga Medical Center. I never told him, but it didn't matter if he sold the house or kept it as a constant reminder. I would never forget. It was useless at this point.

Esme was waiting on the front porch of the lake house when Carlisle pulled up the drive, and Rosalie was with her. They'd heard us coming and wanted to be outside when I got there. Esme was worried I'd been left alone too long and only needed the company of my family to see what I had to live for. I didn't have the heart so to speak to tell her it wouldn't work. At least she would have Elizabeth with her.

Alice and Jasper arrived just as Carlisle opened my door, having run from the city. I kept Elizabeth in my arms as I was guided inside. Esme took me and my daughter in her arm to direct us into the house. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Emmett was waiting in the front entryway, smiling as widely as he ever did and moving forward fluidly.

" 'Bout time you got here," he teased. He clasped his hand around my shoulder, lifting his other hand to Elizabeth's cheek. "Come on. I'll give you a hand."

I didn't argue, glancing at Esme and then Carlisle. Emmett led the way, and I followed silently.

The bedroom Elizabeth and I usually stayed in faced the lake like Rosalie and Emmett's. It was the largest bedroom next to Carlisle and Esme's, which was on the top floor of the house. My father had surprised us all by finding this house and deciding it was best for our family, given our need for privacy. But in the last six months, it had come to fit most of us more than adequately. There was enough space for the eight of us, and there was a guest room for Renesmee when she and Jacob stayed on the weekends. Our extended family resided in a house just next door. I knew without having to read their thoughts that they were also settling into the neighborhood. Both houses seemed to fit everyone — everyone but me. It wasn't home. No place ever would be for me again — not without Bella.

"Is she okay?" Emmett asked watching me place Elizabeth in her crib in our room. "How long has it been since she ate breakfast?"

"Not long," I replied quietly while placing a blanket over her. "She'll wake when she's hungry."

"You wanna do somethin' until then?"

I settled my hands over the railing of her crib, exhaling sharply. "Like what? Play a video game or watch a soccer match? Something normal."

He stepped closer to me. "Come on, man, don't be like that. You gotta start doin' something. I don't like sounding like a broken record, but we really are just trying to help you. Both of you. We — We miss you."

I bowed my head shamefully, turning my face from his. "Emmett," I whispered. "If . . . If it was Rosalie, and you had to . . ."

Emmett turned me to face him then. "I get what you're feeling," he swore. "I do. If it had been Rose, I don't know what I would've done. Probably the same thing you wanted to do. And we all know what you wanted to do even if none of us were there. Because we all would do what you wanted. But none of us really has anything but each other to go on. You have Liz, and Nessie. Giving up isn't an option for you anymore. It's harsh to say that, but you know it's true. And with Liz here, she makes our family feel whole. She helps Nessie feel good again. And I can see what she does to you. Dude, you really are just being stubborn. You know that, right?"

I rolled my eyes, a purely juvenile move on my part. "I know. But Emmett, it's not enough. I need Bella. I can't explain it, but . . ."

He squeezed my shoulder. "Hey, I get it. So does Carlisle, and well, Jasper was there. I might not have some crazy supernatural ability to read mind or emotions or whatever," he admitted with a sad grin, "but I know you. I know them. We all want what's best for you and Liz. You get that, right?"

Reluctantly, I nodded. "I do."

He nodded. "Good. Come down when you're settled, okay? We'll — We'll figure something out."

I bowed my head then, and he left quietly with the door closed behind him. I didn't move from that spot.

I relinquished my hold on Elizabeth the moment she woke in her crib ready to eat her lunch. Rosalie was at the door before I could even step over the threshold to take her to the kitchen. Honestly, I was thankful not to have to face everyone else since I knew they were all congregating around the dining table waiting for news about whether I'd broken anymore furniture. I was left in the room for the first time since that morning, and I was glad for it. The unending chatter from downstairs aside, I was glad for the solitude I'd been afforded just this once.

But it was ultimately short-lived as Alice stepped through the door less than an hour after Rosalie left with Elizabeth. I knew what she was there for. I didn't have to ask, and she didn't say anything — at least, not at first. The silence was uncomfortable for her. After ten minutes, she spoke involuntarily.

"I'll miss you," she said, similar to the way she had when I'd tried leave upon meeting Bella the first time. Then she added, "No matter how long you're gone."

I neither confirmed nor denied her revelation, opting to stand in front of the window that faced the lake. The sun was high, and the sky was a clear, crystal blue — nothing like the day I'd left after meeting Bella. I would have to wait until the cover of nightfall, if not for the darkness, then for the comfort of knowing I wouldn't be followed.

Then Alice spoke again. "And we'll all take care of Elizabeth. You'll never be far from her thoughts. We'll make sure she never forgets you."

Something that felt like a pair of claws tearing up my throat prevented me from acknowledging her, but she apparently didn't need me to say anything at all. I felt so disappointed in myself, so angry. I felt like a failure. And I hated myself for admitting that it was Bella's doing. She'd made me like this. I couldn't function without her. And now my children were suffering because of it. It wasn't fair.

No one bothered me all afternoon. Rosalie played with Elizabeth in the living room, laying her down in the playpen when she got tired and then resigning herself to a chair nearby with a magazine so she could be close to her niece. Emmett and Jasper contemplated stealing me from my room and leaving the house for a spontaneous hunting trip. They decided against it. Alice helped Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen, which was odd enough. Jasper already suspected she knew something but wasn't saying anything to anyone. He was worried about me, but he stayed away. For that much, I was grateful.

Night fell as inconspicuously as the sun had risen, draping the world outside in a navy blue tinge of mysterious light only illuminated by a nearly full moon. I watched the stars come out, spotting several shining more brightly tonight. Was she up there? Did she know? Was it fair that I found myself thinking of her at a time like this?

I left my room quietly, easing down the stairs and then into the piano room which was actually called such a way because that's what it was for. No one stopped me. I hadn't played in so long. But I wouldn't be playing Debussy tonight. There would be no tinkling beautiful love song escaping my fingers tonight. Without worrying about the other six people in the house with me or the ten occupants in the house next door, I sat down in front of the baby grand piano situated inside the Piano room and almost immediately began playing Moonlight Sonata. And I never looked over my shoulder at them as they filed into the room one at a time to watch me. Then one at a time, they all left, going on in whatever they'd been doing before hearing me. I never looked up.

The moment I stopped, all their thoughts stopped.

It was time.

I didn't say goodbye. I didn't need to. I would be back. It was only a question of when.

The world outside was a balmy eighty degrees, and it was understandably humid for New York. But the moment I broke into my run, the wind enveloped me, carrying from the familiar depression and pain I'd been stuck inside for the last six months. I didn't stop to hunt. It would be further down the road, when I was far enough away to do so without causing suspicion about dead animals and destroyed trees.

The darkness flew by, and the canopy of trees blocked out the bright, overbearing moon above my head. Would she be disappointed in me? Would she forgive me for being weak? Was there hope for me yet? I had no answers. Perhaps that was the point. I didn't have any answers for any of the questions burning beneath the surface of my skin. I didn't know how long it would take me to find them, if I ever did. But I was certain about one thing for the time being.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen was for sure dead now. Who I was beyond this point was no longer up to me. Was it?

To be continued . . .

For this last note, I'll say this. Will I write more? Yes. Will I post it? That's up to you, the reader. I started this story just wanting to write it. I posted it for people to read it, and I got what I wanted. ;-) Now, I don't know when, but I will write more.

That's all for now! Thank you to all those who reviewed and favorited and alerted, and thank you to everyone who read. Later!