AN: Okay, this is TOTALLY, 100% OOC. I just was reading something and it made me think of how hilarious it would be to write a Caine/Bug fluff. So I have to write this. It is in no way meant to be serious, at ALL. Enjoy!

Caine had been irritable all day. Diana was going to make him a pie, which he had been looking forward to all afternoon. But someone stole it when she put it on the windowsill to cool.

So now he was grouchy.

And hungry.

Diana came in, her usual really hot self. But ever since that pie had been stolen, he didn't like her much anymore. She had lost her specialness. "I can't believe you let someone steal my pie, Diana. I knew you were a bitch, but seriously?" Diana didn't like that Caine was calling her names, so she ran away crying.

God he hated her right now.

Suddenly, Bug opened his door. He couldn't see him, of course, but he saw the door opening. "Bug, I am so not in the mood right now. What do you want?" Bug appeared in front of him, and presented him with the most orgasm worthy blueberry pie he had ever seen in his entire fucking life. "Oh my God, that looks like… Where did you get that?" Caine couldn't stop staring at the pie, it was magnificent. Bug smirked. His plan to impress Caine with Diana's pie was working.

"That's not important. Go ahead, have some," Bug said. Caine thought about it for a second. Bug probably just stole the pie, but at this point he didn't fucking care. "Bug…" he said cautiously, "I think I love you." Bug wiped a tear that was rolling down his face. "Oh Caine!" he said, quite dramatically, "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that!" He hugged Caine, vigorously. Caine looked at Bug, his eyes full of lust and pie. "You may be invisible to everyone else, Bug, but not to me." Bug took off his shirt and fell on the floor, screaming, "OH GOD CAINE, TAKE ME NOW!"

So they had wild gay sex for a really, really long time.

Probably like twelve hours.

Diana walked in at some point, but Caine just threw something at her face so she ran away crying again.

Afterwards, they sat in the corner in Caine's room and cried together for another really, really long time. While he cried, Caine ate the pie. Bug asked if he could have some, but Caine said no.

He may enjoy gay sex with young children, but he wasn't going to share his fucking pie.