"Okay!" Phoenix screamed, causing several of the cast members to jump and Winnie to violently puke all over Billy, "I have something I'm curious about!"

"No!" Max immediately came out with, just a tiny bit panicky, and ever the master of improvisation, Phoenix immediately turned to him with a pout.

"Aw, c'mon Max!" he cajoled, dissolving into smoke and reappearing behind the boy before he even had time to blink. Allison started snickering as Phoenix wrapped his arms around her boyfriend's waist from behind and places his lips next to Max's ear, sing-songing softly, "It'll be fuuuun~"

"Noooooope!" Max cried desperately, face reddening as he shook his head, and then collapsed onto his back as Phoenix immediately released him.

"Oh alright then," the host chirped cheerily, then walked back over to the middle of their ring of beds. "Now, back to the thing I was actually talking about," he said firmly, and Max blushed even harder as he realized his mistake. Snickering, Phoenix elected to merely continue.

"Anyways, we received an interesting review on January 3rd," he told everyone informatively, taking out a small disc and placing it on the ground before adding, "And by interesting I mean totally unintelligible to me."

A hologram sprung up from the disc, a bold collection of letters pulling itself together.

adrewfd mdfk mkfcf mcklfdv;dg mclf lcfdlgc; cmfkdvm mlcfdgf m xlfelf jessica momy cndkjddex jdekf ckjfdv jcfd vp 2 mxnkjdf ckdf cjmd vmkdrfkcv kxoefjecv kkfdkdfekrekfcvkdifc cikfgjmkfv jmkdns j ikdf jkixdfjsdv oxjfmkis jkckd

cdcjnfjnf vcknfrb n jmfngjr njvgnrjg jdktjfgtefv v ofejore

"Now, I have absolutely no idea whether or not these are actual words put through a cipher. To be honest, it looks like somebody just smashed their face into the keyboard," he said conversationally, "But in the event that they actually do mean something, would whomever the anonymous reviewer that submitted them was please say something? Thanks."

The words vanished, only to be replaced by the newest review.

Oi! Don't hurt Thackery! Anyway...

Truths:

Thackery, Billy, Emily, and the sisters: How much do y'all know about the modern world as far as technology and pop culture go?

Dares:

Dani: Give Thackery the pictures back. The poor guy doesn't deserve to be tortured any more than he already has been!

Max and Thackery: Y'all have to sing the reprise of "Watch What Happens" from the Broadway version of Newsies, with Thackery as Dave and Max as Jack. :3

Sarah: You have to sing your favorite rock'n'roll or country song.

Phoenix: You have to refrain from hurting Thackery or the other cast members for the next few chapters!

Hope you update this soon!

"If he was good, he wouldn't have to get punished," Phoenix reprimanded, shooting a mild glare at the boy before slowly rolling his head to stare at the five standing slightly away from Thackery.

"I've started looking at the advancements they've made in handicrafting," Billy offered, and Phoenix smiled brightly.

"Very good. The world could use more dedicated craftsmen. Everything's mass-produced now, there's no soul in it," the host said disparagingly before shaking his head and eyeing Emily.

"Um, well, nothing really," she said apologetically, staring up at him with innocent eyes, and Phoenix stared a moment more before giving a small snort.

"Right," he drawled doubtfully before turning to the Sisters.

"I learned about birth control after this little urchin took shape," Winnie bit out, somehow making every word sound like a curse, and Mary gave a laugh.

"You could've asked me. There's a commercial for one thing or another every five minutes," she told her sister, and Winnie immediately shot her a murderous glare. The black-haired witch merely waggled a finger, tutting, "Ah ah ah, sister, stress isn't good for growing babies."

The glare intensified.

"I have the amalgamation of the Encyclopaedia Britannica encased in my brain, and so am aware of everything this modern time has to offer," Sarah said primly, turning her nose up at the question, but Phoenix only rolled his eyes.

"What's a brony?" he deadpanned, and Sarah blinked in confusion. He gave her a wry smirk and a dry, "Exactly," before moving on.

"If he was good, maybe he wouldn't have to be punished," Dani parroted before the host could prompt her, giving the formerly dead boy a teasing grin. Said boy could only bury his face in his hands with a low groan.

Shaking his head and giving a chuckle, Phoenix glanced back at the list before whirling around and pointing at Max dramatically. "You are now a paperboy," he began, then whirled back around to point at a surprised Thackery and yell, "And you are now a paperboy! Sing a duet!"

Thackery and Max started to protest, but before they could even be forced onstage, Winnie's voice cut in above everything else with a resounding, "No!"

Everyone very nearly snapped their necks to stare at her in shock, even Billy. She was glaring from her bed, and though she was laying down she was no less fearsome for it. "No!" she repeated in firm anger, "I have a headache from all this noise! Singing is NOT going to happen!"

"Oh, well, alright then," Phoenix said at once, all-at-once quite serious, and everyone promptly vanished. The host pulled a remote from his pocket and handed it to the surprised red-haired witch, pointing out the buttons as he listed them.

"These are for the brightness of the sun, this one plays soothing music, this one makes a shelf of recommended books appear, and this one makes a tea set materialize on your bedside table," he said, then added, "Oh, and the red one calls me back, so let me know if you need anything else."

Winnie blinked, then narrowed her eyes as if her were plotting something and opined cautiously, "You're being suspiciously nice."

Normally, of course, this would be a safe assumption to make, but in this particular instance he merely shrugged.

"You're pregnant. It has some perks," he pointed out, then gave a cheery wave and vanished.

Once he appeared on the deserted midway he had sent the cast to, he made a point to find Thackery, give him a solid thump on the back of the head, and stare intently at an empty patch of air for a solid ten seconds. Very slowly, so as not to be misunderstood, he gave a clear, "Never going to happen," then grinned and went to enjoy the fun.

Thackery was slightly terrified and immensely confused.