A/N: This was inspired by a movie poster I created based on Anastasia, which you may view on my deviant gallery of art. Please do, it's quite odd. Anyways, this is a Hetalia parody of the aforementioned movie, and shall be updated regularly, unlike my 2 other shitty fanfictions. There are lots of characters, so don't be concerned if your favorite doesn't pop up immediately.

SPECIAL THANKS TO MY AWESOME FRIEND OF AWESOME FOR LIKE, BEING AWESOME AND WRITING THIS IN THE CAR WITH ME.

Also, you don't really have to have watched Anastasia to find this funny, but it sort of helps I suppose. Have fun!

xXx

Russia begrudgingly made his way up the stairs that led to Belarus' throne, for he was about to 'celebrate' his unwilling engagement to her.

"HEY BROTHER," Belarus screamed, clawing at Russia like always.

"D-don't call me that. What… What do you want! What do you want with me!"

"SINCE WE'LL BE MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED SOON, MY WELL ENDOWED SERVANT-COMBINATION-SISTER HAS A GIFT FOR YOU."

Russia felt slightly happier. He rather liked his sister, for two very good reasons. They could hear Ukraine coming from around the corner to bring Russia his gift. Boing boing boing boing.

"OH HELLO MS. MELLONS," said Belarus, as she promptly shoved her face into Ukraine's Grand Canyon-like cleavage.

"Please stop doing that." Ukraine cried, as she pushed her sisters face out of her mammalian protrusions. "Russia, I have a gift for you! It's a scarf I made! You must put it on to see if it fits~!"

Russia happily accepted the scarf made with love from the well-endowed woman and put it on.

"This fits really well, Mary Mammaries."

"Don't call me that!" Ukraine bawled, and ran out of the ballroom, making the ballroom's band change tempo with every bounce of her bosom.

Belarus could see that Russia was not paying enough attention to his future wife, so she decided to break out her expensive gift.

"RUSSIA TAKE THIS PENDANT FROM ME AND WE WILL GET MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED!"

Russia reluctantly reached for the dangling necklace and read the words upon it.

"MARRIED in Paris."

"Why is it in Paris?" Russia mused to himself, but decided it was best not to ask, for that might require the author to actually think of a good reason to why the wedding would be there.

Without warning, a cloud of campy-ness descended upon the guests.

"Why is there suddenly a unicorn by the punch bowl?" asked Russia, as Belarus wordlessly threw a knife at it, spilling its blood into the aforementioned beverage.

The doors opened with a burst of eyebrow as the famed evil sorcerer England sauntered into the hall, Flying Mint Bunny upon his shoulder.

"Oh, HAAAAAAY BUDDY! Want some puuuunncchhshss?" said an obviously drunk America, who will defiantly show up later in the story so this totally isn't a cameo or anything.

England huffed in agreement, as he was oft to do, and glanced over at the punch bowl with a sparkling, rainbow corpse draped over it. England gasped in horror and ran over to his imaginary creature, clutching its soft, fake fur.

"No! No! Berwald! Speak to me!"

Berwald opened its mouth pathetically and unicorn-ly. "I… I have the same… voice actor as… France…" it croaked out, before gasping, and becoming one with the big rainbow in the sky.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" England screamed, before turning to face the crowd. "Who… Who has done such a terrible thing? Show yourself!"

Belarus raises her hand, obviously not paying attention to whatever the hell is going on. England glares at her, positioning his eyebrows in the evilest way he is capable of.

"You and your family shall pay! All of you are doomed!" England screams, making a chandelier fall down on Sealand because fuck it, that's why.

And as soon as England appeared, he was gone, and the cloud of campy-ness with him.

"Hmm," Russia thought to himself. "England seems really powerful and over-exaggerated. I must make him one with me later~! After he gets rid of Belarus of course."

xXx

Confusion shook the palace, as England's plan to defeat Belarus' family using his imaginary friends went swimmingly. Belarus ran to fetch Russia from his communist-flavored room, for he had left his dear scarf in there.

"BROTHER! WE HAVE TO GET OUT. TINKERBELL IS IMMUNE TO MY KNIVES."

"Ah, Belarus, if you lick my wallpaper, it tastes like Proletarians!"

Belarus proceeds to do so, despite Captain Hook scratching on the door with increasing urgency.

"I LIKE THE BOURGEOIS BETTER WHEN PICKLED. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, IT'S TOO LATE TO GET OUT NOW."

It was then that Lithuania kicked open a wall with as much badassery as he could muster, which isn't much.

"Ah! Ms. Belarus! Mr. Russia! Please leave through the servants quarters!"

Belarus agreed and began to drag Russia with her through the hole in the wall. Russia struggled, but it was no match for her iron grip.

"Wait, Belarus! I forgot my scarf!"

"IT'S TOO LATE. YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING FROM TITANIUM TITS ANYWAYS."

Russia screamed as Lithuania closed the door behind them, ready to defend the two against the horror of Peter Pan characters. Instead of Captain Hook bursting through the door like Lithuania expected, it was a bear shark with lasers.

"Oh fu-"

And Lithuania was promptly bear-shark-lasered. He fainted to the ground, his hand landing in a forshadow-y way over Russias forgotten scarf.

xXx

Russia and Belarus ran across a lake that was somehow there and nearby for no explainable reason when they were stopped by England and Flying Mint Bunny.

"Haha! You fools thought you could run! It is useless!" England yelled as he grabbed Russia's ankle. However, the latter country's leg was so cold England's hand froze off. "Sweet Pub 'n' Go, how are you so fucking cold! That shouldn't even be possible!"

At this moment, Flying Mint Bunny's fat ass decided to become effective, causing the ice under England's feet to give way, sending him into the dark lake below.

"Curse you Flying Mint Bunny!" England bubbled. "When I get resurrected as a corpse-like entity, there will be no more magic carrots for you!"

Flying Mint Bunny simply stared back into the lake, unable to do anything, for his creator had granted him no hands, but simply nubbins.

xXx

Belarus and Russia ran towards the quickly departing train, which was apparently heading towards Paris. Belarus easily jumped onto the train, and held her hand out for her brother to grab.

"GRAB MY HAND, BROTHER!"

Russia really didn't want to grab Belarus' hand, but he decided it would be best if he at least made a pathetic attempt to run towards her.

"Ah, I can't… uh… reach you?"

"NOOOOOO!" Belarus dramatically screamed as the train pulled away even faster from the station. It disappeared from view over the hill. Russia stopped running and smugly smiled to himself.

"Well, that was easy. What should I do now? Maybe I'll find some sunflower see-"

And Russia was immediately bear-shark-lasered.

TO BE CONTINUED.