Disclaimer: I don't own Jak, Daxter, or anything else from the games. All belongs to the minds of Naughty Dog.

JKA: So, this is a oneshot I wrote to take a break from the angsty stuff I've been writing. Keep in mind that this is my first humorous story I've written for Jak and Daxter, and I have a pretty poor sense of humor anyway, so it may not even be remotely funny to anyone besides me. ^^' If you laugh even a little at anything, you get a cookie. :) Also, sorry if some of Daxter's lines are hard to read and/or understand, but that's what he gets for drinking to much. Pairings: mild JxK, mild DxT.

Why Jak's Afraid of Wumpbees...

"Hey, Tessie-boo, why don' ya serve up another round on me?" Daxter slurred, swaying drunkenly in the center of the bar.

"Don't you think you've had enough, Dax?" Jak asked, suppressing a chuckle at his best friend's behavior.

"I'll stop when I wanna stop, buddy-boy," the cross-eyed ottsel snapped, teetering precariously close to the edge of his perch. "Mind yer own buziness…"

Jak rolled his eyes and exchanged an amused glance with Keira, who was seated comfortably in his lap, her head resting on his chest.

It was well after midnight, and Tess had closed up the Naughty Ottsel for the evening, leaving her, Daxter, Jak, and Keira with an empty bar and a long stretch of free time. Daxter had whipped out the drinks as soon as the last bar patron left, and within minutes what had remained of his brain cells had shriveled up and died. Which led to the current state he was in now.

"I think Jak's right, Daxxie," Tess told him sternly, sounding very much like a wife scolding her misbehaving husband. "If you have any more to drink, you'll be hung over the entire day tomorrow, and even I don't want to listen to you complaining."

"Common, baby, live a lil'!" her intoxicated boyfriend argued, flopping down rather abruptly on his back and staring through hazy eyes at the ceiling. He began singing unintelligibly in a horribly off-key voice, sliding his arms up and down as if he were making a snow angel.

"You let him have the purple stuff, didn't you?" Keira snickered, watching the pathetic ottsel through half-closed eyes and nestling into Jak's embrace.

"I could've sworn I locked it up…" Tess muttered to herself, shaking her head as Daxter continued to sing.

"Hey, Metal-monkey!" the aforementioned animal called suddenly, his blurry eyes focusing on the stuffed head of the late Kor above the bar. "Not so tough now, are ya? Ya thought you could mess with Orange Lightnin', and now look at ya! Nailed ta the wall like the cheapo decoration you are!"

"If I remember correctly, it was Jak that defeated Kor," Keira pointed out, rolling her eyes. "While 'Orange Lightning' curled up in the corner and prayed to the Precursors to save him."

"Ah, same difverence," Daxter replied, waving his hand dismissively. He hauled himself unsteadily to his feet, smirking at his taller friend. "Jak's not scared'a Metal-Heads, righ' big guy?"

"Damn straight," Jak agreed, nodding once and grinning down at Keira.

"Good thing there wazn't any wumpbeez there, huh, Jak?" Daxter laughed loudly, snatching a bottle of beer Tess had been trying to hide and draining half of it in one gulp.

Tess glanced from Daxter to Jak, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as the latter visibly paled.

"Don't know what you mean," Jak mumbled, avoiding his friend's half-focused gaze. Keira smiled knowingly to herself and pressed a quick kiss to Jak's neck, trying to offer sympathy.

"Oh, you know 'xactly what I'm talkin' about!" Daxter chortled, his face twisted into a drunken sneer. "The great Jak, masher of Metal-Heads and Lurkers, is afraid of lil' ole wumpbeez!"

A faint pink dusted Jak's cheeks while Keira shot the wasted ottsel an irritated glare, and Tess clamped her hands over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

"Jak's afraid of wumpbees?" the female ottsel laughed, hardly daring to believe that Haven's hero would be frightened of a bug.

"Of course not!" Jak snapped, blushing more noticeably. "Why would I be scared of wumpbees?"

"Why?" Daxter repeated incredulously, barking a loud guffaw. "Doncha remember yer ninth birthday, Jak?"

"What happened on his ninth birthday?" Tess inquired before Jak had the chance to respond.

Daxter grinned mischievously while Jak hid his face in Keira's hair, knowing a long, embarrassing tale was about to come spilling from the intoxicated ottsel's mouth.

"Well, lemme tell ya a lil' story, sweet cheeks," Daxter began, plopping down on the edge of the bar and slinging his arm lazily around Tess' shoulders. "It all started in a lil' village called 'Sandover'…"

"Hey, Jak! Ja-ak! You in there, pal?"

Jak rolled over onto his stomach and grabbed his pillow from underneath his face, holding it over his head to try and drown out the familiar high-pitched voice calling him.

Suddenly, a heavy weight landed on the end of his bed, the resulting force of impact sending Jak over the edge and sprawling to the floor.

"Oopsie…" Daxter muttered, watching sheepishly as Jak peeled his face off the hard wood and fixed him with an annoyed glare. "Sorry about that, buddy. Anyways, just thought I'd stop by to tell ya happy birthday, Jakky-boy!"

The sour look was wiped clean from Jak's face, to be replaced by a smile that plainly said, "Thanks, Dax."

"So, whatcha wanna do for your big day?" the orange-haired boy inquired, hopping off Jak's bed and helping his taller friend to his feet. "We could go let all the farmer's yakows loose. They deserve a little freedom now and then, doncha think?"

Jak rolled his eyes, amused, and then his eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. He hadn't actually decided what he wanted to do for his birthday yet. There really wasn't that much to do in Sandover anyway, apart from play on the beach, and they did that every day.

Glancing out his bedroom window absentmindedly, Jak's eyes fell on the shapeless mass of trees that marked the entrance to the only place in their tiny village they weren't allowed to venture into: the Forbidden Jungle.

With a sudden flash of inspiration, Jak turned back to Daxter and pointed eagerly out the window at the distant forest.

"What is it?" his buck-toothed friend asked, following the line of Jak's finger. He realized where Jak was indicating, and his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"The Forbidden Jungle?" he demanded, looking thoroughly shocked. It was usually his job to come up with dumb ideas, not Jak. "You want to go in there? Are you crazy?"

Jak shook his head, looking disgruntled. His eyes held a teasing gleam that conveyed what he was thinking more clearly than if he'd screamed it: "Chicken?"

"Who you calling scared?" Daxter snapped, as if Jak had really called him a chicken aloud. "I'm not scared; I'm just worried about you, pallie. We both know that you can barely walk in a straight line without my help, let alone look after yourself in the jungle."

Heaving a sigh that was half-amused, half-exasperated, Jak turned away from Daxter and strode over to his tiny dresser in the corner of his room, picking out his usual blue tunic and white pants. He glanced at Daxter over his shoulder, giving him a look that plainly stated, "Do you mind?"

Getting the message, Daxter quickly stepped out of Jak's room — without some sort of remark, for once — and closed the door behind him.

After Jak was dressed in his familiar attire, he joined Daxter in the main room of his uncle's hut, and together they headed out into the warm daylight.

Daxter turned automatically to the right, intending to head past the bird lady's home and down to the beach on the other side, when he realized that Jak was not following him.

"What's up, Jakky-boy?" the fiery-haired boy asked, quirking an eyebrow in confusion.

Jak directed his gaze to his left, his eyes falling on the largest hut in the village, nestled atop a separate earth pillar from the rest of the buildings.

Following his friend's gaze, Daxter instantly knew what Jak wanted, and he smirked in response.

"Oh, I get it," he snickered. "You wanna bring Keira along, huh?"

A faint pink dusted Jak's cheeks, but he nodded nevertheless, heading away from his uncle's hut and down the familiar path to the Green Sage's home without waiting to see if Daxter was following.

He didn't have to wonder if his best friend was accompanying him for long, however.

"I don't get why you always wanna spend time with Keira, anyway," Daxter commented, quickening his pace to keep up with Jak's longer stride. "I mean, she's cute and all, but you act like her shadow or something."

Jak turned his face away so that Daxter wouldn't see his embarrassed smile.

"Wait, Jak liked Keira when he was nine?" Tess demanded, interrupting Daxter's storytelling.

"Nothing like today," Jak answered before Daxter had the chance to make some humiliating remark. "It was just a crush back then. Kid stuff, you know. I didn't understand it at the time."

"Aw, how cute!" Tess sang, beaming as Keira giggled and planted a quick kiss on Jak's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, adorable," Daxter cut in, looking disgruntled. "Enough about Jak havin' the hotz fer Keira. As I waz saying…"

The duo trudged up two long, rickety wooden bridges, reaching the two-story hut and automatically entering the lower level.

A young, teal-haired girl sat on the floor in the main room, studying bits and pieces of twisted metal with awed emerald eyes.

"Hey, baby," Daxter greeted smoothly, grinning at Keira. "Need any, ah, 'help' with your little project there?"

"Not from you, Daxter," Keira replied as she rose slowly to her feet, her tone laced with irritation. She glanced at Jak, and her expression instantly softened into a welcome smile. "Hey, Jak! Happy Birthday!"

Jak blushed slightly when he met her sparkling gaze, smiling at her to show his thanks.

"Jak and I were just headin' out to the Forbidden Jungle," Daxter announced, his visage taking on a mischievous edge. "And Jak here wouldn't get going until we asked you if you wanted to come."

The cerulean-eyed boy nodded in agreement, ignoring the teasing undertone to his friend's voice.

"The F-forbidden Jungle?" Keira repeated, her expression going blank with shock. "We can't go in there! It's called 'forbidden' for a reason, you know! I heard there are snakes and killer fish…"

"Come on, Keira, you really believe that stuff?" Daxter laughed at the apprehension glowing clearly in her eyes. "You know Ole Greenie just makes those things up to keep us from having any fun."

"Not true!" Keira protested, insulted by Daxter's comment about her father. "It's not just Daddy, everyone in the village says that. Why do you think no one ever goes there?"

"'Cause they're scaredy-cats," the orange-haired boy stated matter-of-factly, shrugging. "There ain't nothing in that jungle that Jak and I can't handle, right buddy-boy?"

Jak nodded again, fixing Keira with pitiful puppy-dog eyes that clearly said, "Please come with us, Keira."

Keira was silent for several seconds, her expression calculating.

"Oh, fine," she sighed eventually, giving in. "I'll come with you." She flashed Jak a small smile. "But only because it's your birthday, Jak."

The aforementioned elf beamed at her, and then the trio exited Keira's hut, retracing their steps down to the center of the village.

They followed the path Daxter had begun to take earlier, passing by the bird lady's feather-covered hut and scrambling down a rocky cliff to the sandy beach below. Jak led the way confidently, strolling along the curve of the shoreline and moving through a natural arch that seemed to mark the entrance to the Forbidden Jungle.

As they came to a rather unstable-looking bridge, Keira hesitated, biting her lip nervously.

"Are you sure about this, Jak?" she asked fearfully, eyeing the rotting wooden planks with an unsure gaze.

Jak rolled his eyes at her over his shoulder and stepped out onto the bridge. It wobbled ever-so-slightly, but not enough to send him over the edge. Keira stuck close to his side, gripping his arm tightly whenever she lost her balance, while Daxter brought up the rear, complaining loudly about how it would be so much easier to get to the forest with some stairs or something.

Once they'd made it across the less-than-safe bridge, the trio entered the cool shade of the jungle's thick canopy. Birdsong flitted between the branches of the trees, and the gentle breeze blowing from the ocean stirred the leaves, adding their rustling music to the ambience.

"You know," Keira mused as they followed a dirt trail leading deeper into the forest, "it's actually not so bad in here."

"Told ya so," Daxter snorted, rolling his eyes

Jak ignored them both, his deep blue eyes scanning their surroundings curiously. His gaze fell on a strange, dark shape nestled on a tree limb above their heads, and he paused in his stride to study it.

It seemed to be some kind of nest, with a rounded exterior and a tiny hole in the bottom for whatever creatures resided in it to use as an entrance.

"Hey, whatcha looking at, pal?" Daxter inquired, halting beside Jak and following his friend's gaze up to the odd hive-like-thing. "Whoa, what is that?"

"What is what?" Keira asked, coming up to Jak's other side and staring at the nest like the boys. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she examined it. "I've never seen anything like that before."

Jak glanced from Keira to Daxter, and then his gaze slid to the ground absentmindedly as he contemplated the mysterious object above them. He spotted a long stick lying near the base of the tree where the nest rested, and a sudden stroke of inspiration (or you could call it stupidity) had him bending to pick up the thin wood.

"Uh, Jak?" Daxter questioned, raising one eyebrow in confusion as Jak straightened up, holding the stick. "What are you doing?"

Jak simply smiled at his shorter friend, and then he moved closer to the tree, standing so that he was directly underneath the nest. Holding onto one end of the broken branch, he stretched up his arm as high as possible and tried to poke the lumpy object.

"Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Keira cautioned, eyeing the unknown nest with an apprehensive gaze.

Driven by curiosity, Jak chose to ignore her warning, jumping up to take a swing at the hive.

The result was one that Jak would regret for the rest of his life.

Having underestimated the power of his jab at the nest, Jak watched with surprised eyes that quickly shifted to dread as the round object slipped over the edge of its branch, plummeting towards the trio and landing… right on Jak's head.

The force of the impact smashed the bottom of the nest, and within a heartbeat Jak found himself face-to-face with a swarm of very angry bugs, their antagonized buzzing ringing in his ears.

One thought flashed through the young boy's mind as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and panic set his heart hammering.

Wumpbees!

As if the silent word were a cue, the entire hive-full of insects converged on Jak, stinging every inch of his face they could reach. A scream of agony ripped from Jak's throat, and he ran around in circles blindly, unable to see anything apart from the wall of the nest and a blur of wumpbees.

Something collided with his head, — hard — smashing the wumpbee hive to pieces and sending him sprawling to the ground.

Lifting his head painfully from the dirt, Jak realized the thing that had struck him had been Daxter, holding the stick that Jak had previously used to knock down the wumpbee nest.

"Jak, you moron!" Daxter yelled, dropping the branch and helping Jak to his feet. "Don't you know not to —"

"Run!" Keira shrieked suddenly, cutting off the orange-haired boy. She raced by Jak and Daxter faster than they would have thought possible, nearly knocking the former to the ground again.

"Run?" Daxter repeated, clearly confused. "What do you mean, 'run'?"

Someone tapped on the puzzled boy's shoulder, and he turned just in time to see Jak pelt by him, nodding to whatever he was fleeing from over his shoulder.

Daxter glanced in the direction his friend had indicated, and he let out a startled cry as the swarm of very-pissed wumpbees barreled down on him. Waving his arms madly to try and ward them away, Daxter took off after his friends, screaming like a banshee.

"…an' then we lost the wumpbeez by jumpin' in the ocean," Daxter concluded, downing the last of the beer he held in his hand. "After that we had ta go get Grandpa Green ta fix us up. Me an' Keira had a few stingz, but ole Jakky got the worst of it. He looked like a human pincushion."

"Hurt like hell, too," Jak commented, scowling at the memory.

"You had no one to blame but yourself," Keira reminded him, stifling a giggle as she pictured the swollen mess Jak's young face had become.

"Yeah, whatever," Jak grunted, shrugging indifferently.

"That waz one of the funniest moments of my life," Daxter chuckled, swaying back and forth on the edge of the bar and grinning crookedly.

"It wasn't funny from my perspective," his much taller friend snapped, glaring at him more out of embarrassment than irritation.

"Come on, you gotta admit that a wumpbee nest falling on a nine-year-old's head is funny," Tess pointed out, giggling to herself.

"Well… maybe it's a little funny," Jak agreed grudgingly.

"That's the spirit," Daxter encouraged. Abruptly, his eyes widened and he pointed frantically at the air near Jak's head. "Jak, there'z a wumpbee by yer head!"

"What? Where?" Jak yelled, diving off the bar stool he'd been sitting on and hitting the floor, nearly taking Keira with him.

All three of his friend's burst into a loud chorus of laughter, and Jak hauled himself slowly to his feet, his face ten shades of red.

"Real funny, Dax," he grumbled, reclaiming his place at the bar. "Next time I'll drop a wumpbee nest on your head and see if you're not scarred for life."

"Good luck with that, pallie," the orange ottsel snickered, causing a few more giggles from Keira and Tess.

Jak simply ignored him, pondering where he could possibly find a wumpbee hive in Haven City.

JKA: So, that wasn't too bad for a pitiful attempt at humor, right? Hope you guys got a bit of a laugh out of that, and please review! Thanks! :D