You guys… you fed the plot bunny too much and it escaped from the cage! Now it's eating the furniture and making a mess.

So one more part, just because I have a history of getting carried away with these things. Then I'm moving on to other fics (probably full-blown slash instead of this teasing stuff).

Thus went The Incident, as Jim had come to refer to it in his head.

It was actually harder facing Bones than Spock. He was so used to telling his best friend everything that excluding such shenanigans made him feel like he was lying. It didn't help that for an unreasonable length of time, whenever he saw Bones, he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing because the first thing that came to mind was 'camel.' He also had more difficulty with Uhura than Spock. Every time he opened his mouth to ask for a com channel, silly and unprofessional questions did cartwheels in his head.

So I think I got farther with your ex than you did; could you confirm?

He thought he could die happy just from seeing the looks on everyone's faces.

But in general, he tried not to dwell on The Incident for the sake of the status quo he and Spock had developed over the past few months. Besides, he knew Spock sure as hell wasn't thinking about it, which was oddly comforting. Forget it ever happened and move on. He could handle that.

That was working out pretty well until the Dhros negotiations. It was just the standard mining rights stuff. Send in the Enterprise to dazzle them a little, seal the deal, then back to exploration. It should have been easy too, because the planet was teetering on the brink of financial collapse.

But the terms that the Dhros outlined were at the absolute minimum for what the Federation would accept, and Jim wasn't content to settle. It didn't help that Spock stopped just short of undermining Jim whenever he threw his two cents in.

After over an hour with no progress, Jim couldn't take it anymore. Enough was enough. "We'll give you two hours to consider our offer, and we will accept nothing less." He motioned to Uhura, who cut the Dhros ambassadors off before they could protest. He tried to shape his frustration into something constructive before turning toward the science station.

"Mr. Spock." He did not just check out Spock's ass. There were only so many places to look when someone was facing away from you, was all.

"Captain?"

"Join me in the conference room for a minute."

He could feel the eyes of the bridge crew following them, and it was a relief when the door closed, and he could finally say what he had to without witnesses.

"A little support would have be nice in there." He crossed his arms. Maybe he wasn't old enough yet to pull off an air of stern disappointment, but damn if he wasn't going to try.

"Lending my support to a futile endeavor would be illogical."

"Futile? C'mon Spock, you know me."

Not so long ago Spock would have stared at him blankly, but now he knew exactly what Jim meant. "Even an individual of your extraordinary obstinance could not–"

"Who, me? Obstinate?" Jim interrupted. "Why Spock, you flatter me."

Spock choose to ignore that. "As far as they are concerned, the only terms are their original terms."

"And I'm telling you, we can get a better deal out of them. They need this treaty more than we do. We have leverage."

"That may be so, but the Dhros are not logical. They do not bargain."

"They will. We just have to sit back and let 'em sweat for awhile."

"The Dhros do not sweat." Spock said, his critical stare telling Jim off for not reading all billion or so mind-numbing pages in the debriefing.

Neither do Vulcans, Jim thought. I wonder what that's like during–

He shoved the notion aside with practiced ease before it could complete itself. His brain had been doing more and more of that lately, but he hadn't taken the time to figure out why.

"I just want to make sure the Federation doesn't get shortchanged."

"You have never displayed such single-minded mercantile proclivities before."

Jim threw up his hands. "Ok, you got me," He said, jaw clenched. "They're pushy, and they're rude, and I'll be damned if I let them win this."

"Your behavior is becoming overly emotional and erratic." Spock's tone was very deliberate, almost mocking. "Perhaps you are in need of rest." Jim gaped at him for a moment. So he had been thinking about it. Well if he wanted to get personal, two could play at that game.

"Maybe if you thought outside your little calculator-shaped box every now and then, you could understand why this is important."

Spock pretended to mull over Jim's statement, and it was painfully obvious he was pretending; in fact, it bordered on self-parody. "No, I do not believe I could ever comprehend such irrationality."

"I'm irrational?" Jim snapped. "You know, if you turned down the temperature in your room to something less than capable of frying an egg, you could sleep in pajamas like a normal person and better preserve your modesty."

And I wouldn't have to be distracted all the time by imagining you shirtless at inopportune moments. Like right now.

"Perhaps if you had not worn regulation uniform pants to bed and insisted on unseemly physical contact, the temperature would not have bothered you." There it was again, the ear-blush thing.

Jim's mind floundered, trying to conjure up a comeback better than 'I was tired,' which was almost impossible when he was fighting to dismiss weird mental images at the same time.

"Umm… captain?"

Oh, shit.

They both turned to face the wide-eyed ensign standing at the door, clutching a PADD to her chest.

Jim sorted through several possible responses, including 'ha, we had you going there, didn't we,' 'that Mr. Spock, he loves to kid,' and the classic 'it's not what it looks like.' None of them were convincing enough, so he gave up and settled for, "Yes, ensign?" Maybe if he scared her enough, she wouldn't start rumors.

"I can wait, it's just–"

"Yes, ensign?" Jim snatched the PADD away from her. "You need a signature? Here." He scribbled hastily on the line.

"Thank you sir, but–"

"Yes, yes. Move along." She had already fled, and Jim took a moment to think about what he was trying to gain from this discussion when Spock, the Dhros, and himself were all equally bullheaded.

He was mad, sure. But he took a deep breath, and the worst of it passed, because even though he'd never admit it, he loved every minute of this.

He loved it when Spock challenged him, argued with him, pushed him to his limits and then pushed a little more. He loved that with just enough patient harassment, he could drag Spock down to his level. He loved how Spock could make him anxious or at ease with a single look. Call him an intellectual masochist, but he loved Spock…

…Spock's mind. He loved Spock's mind. Maybe I am a little tired.

Jim shook his head and turned back to Spock to find that his first officer's eyebrows were nearly hidden by his hair. The corners of his mouth were upturned dangerous close to smile territory. "And just what are you so smug about?"

"Captain," Spock said, and nodded toward the door, "that was the original Dhros mining treaty."

The End (for real this time).

simplyelena: Oh wow, thanks for pointing that out. That's what happens when you write stuff at 2:00 AM!

Veglma: Not quite, but you hit on it by accident. The biology line is from "Amok Time." Spock is trying to explain his "condition" (i.e. must have lots of sex or die), and because he's Spock and it's the 1960s, they dance around it. So Spock is like "something something Vulcan biology" and Jim is like "you mean... the biology of Vulcans?" You think this fic is awkward, you ain't seen nothing. XD

In fact, if anyone reading this hasn't seen it, go and watch it. Like now. It's on Youtube, early season 2. And do pay close attention to the subtext, because darlings, it's FABULOUS.