Alright folks, please forgive me for this idea occurred to me while on dA. You see, I put up a picture of Hidan, Kakuzu, and their child... and... well... one person said something about how they wondered who the 'mother' was and well... usually it's Hidan in stories, right? Well... anything I've read in which Kakuzu is pregnant were a bit... scary... So!: I am going to attempt one that won't seem too bad (hopefully). I hope I can keep them in some character... if not, oh well, enjoy regardless.

Since this involves reverse roles... I decided it should be the sequel to this one request, the one with Tobi/Madara/Zetsu and Hidan/Kakuzu for kisaitaluvr.

Also: I do NOT appreciate cowardly flaming/bashing just because of the pairing. You do not like having a little change, FUCK OFF! Don't just leave REVIEWS (which are supposed to provide advice or support or help) that insult me or the pairing. I support KakuHida but I think it's nice for Kakuzu to be bottom boy at least once in his life. If you truly love someone then something like this won't be a problem. And trust me, I make it to where Kakuzu isn't to happy with this either... just read the first line for crying out loud. Sorry, had to vent. I hope you other people enjoy this little change.

PAIRINGS: HidaKuzu (w/ KakuHida)

"OH FUCK NO!" Kakuzu's voice rang throughout the hideout of the ones formally dubbed Akatsuki.

Sasori jumped, spilling his tea on Deidara's breakfast. They were all in Beast Village with Phox, their deaths successfully faked. They were now her special Anbu group, each with their own nickname. Sasori had been dubbed Marionette, Kakuzu was RagDoll, Hidan was Immortal, Deidara had been given the nickname of FireBomb.

You see, Phox, the leader of the small village named the Beast Village had sneaked into the Akatsuki. She had started by befriending Itachi long before introducing herself. He too was one of the Anbu, but still with the Akatsuki. Although his days with them were numbered once Deidara's death by bombing had been successfully faked. His body, like the other members' had been replaced with an advanced clone, courtesy Phox. You should get the idea so, back to this mornings strange outburst.

Sasori and Deidara exchanged an anxious glance with one another as Phox calmly entered the kitchen. They looked to her in question.

"You'll see in five, four three, two..." They heard someone running for the kitchen.

Hidan dove in just as a familiar mask shot fire above his head. He scrambled over to hide behind the other three as Kakuzu stormed inside, eyes giving Hidan one hell of a death glare.

"You! Fucking! BASTARD!" He seethed.

"I told you! I had nothing to fucking do with this!" Hidan cried out.

"BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!" Kakuzu roared.

"He really didn't, Kakuzu. I did." Phox's eyes met Kakuzu's.

"You...?" Hidan and Kakuzu replied.

"I told Orochimaru to whip something special up for the two of you on the night of your anniversary... the one night you let Hidan top you. If I am not mistaken that would be about a month ago, no?" Sasori suddenly got a bad feeling and stood, sneaking the blonde away from the other three, but remaining in the kitchen, curiosity getting the better of him.

"So... You're saying that Kabuto wasn't lying..." Kakuzu's rage was just barely suppressed then... the dam broke, "WHEN HE SAID I WAS FUCKING PREGNANT!"

Just now... some form of Hell has indeed frozen over as well as a river.

"Y-You're what?" Sasori and Deidara gulped when Kakuzu leered at the two artists.

"He said he's 'fucking pregnant'." Hidan jolted when the leer was suddenly directed at him.

"Ha. Sucks for you. Yeah, I pity the child." Zetsu appeared from the floor, startling most of them.

"There won't be a child." Kakuzu glared coldly to which Hidan winced.

"RagDoll, please return to your room." Phox sighed, "Immortal, you will be rooming with those two until RagDoll has calmed down." She motioned to the two artists whom gave a nod then led a shaky Hidan from the room.

"You will be having your hands full, Phox..." Zetsu noted.

"Well, any progress with Weasel's death scene?" She ignored his snide remark.

"Why don't you come and see for yourself?" Zetsu replied with a drawl then added, "I'm sure they won't harm each other too badly."

"Not funny. But you're right, I will come and watch for myself. After faking his death, I'll be at my limit." Phox concluded.

"Alright. Off we go..."

–

Kakuzu stormed around his room, throwing things about in a tantrum. Now, I know he may seem calm on the exterior... however... Kakuzu is known for having a short temper given how quickly he went through his partners before Hidan. He marched into the bathroom and glared at his reflection in the wall mirror. He glared particularly hard at where the womb (grown no doubt due to that odd potion Phox had given him the first time, then brought to life by what Orochimaru had given him just before his second time of having Hidan top him) was located. Then he groaned, feeling nauseous. 'Bring on the morning sickness...' He thought mutinously, kneeling by the toilet. Hidan was going to pay.

–

Hidan paced Sasori and Deidara's large room, worrying about Kakuzu. Then he worried about the baby and then finally what Kakuzu would do to it or even what the new-found... mom... would do to the... dad... Hidan stopped suddenly. Deidara looked up from the bed, questioning. He jumped when Hidan doubled over in laughter. The blonde looked at his redheaded lover and then the two approached the insane immortal.

"Hidan... what's so funny, un?"

"You do realize Kakuzu is quite possibly plotting your painless demise in your guys' room as you stand here laughing like a buffoon." Sasori added with a drawl.

"I-I know but—I just realized," He paused to laugh some more, "he'll be a fucking mother! I'll be the father!"

Sasori blinked. Then he was startled when Deidara partook in the laughter. He began to sneak from the room, worried about what the two crazed Akatsuki members would do. Once he was free he heaved a sigh then headed for Kakuzu and Hidan's shared room. He opened the door and found the room trashed and devoid of life. He was about to leave when he heard retching from the side bathroom.

"F-Fucking Hidan. Fucking babies. Fucking fan serv–" Kakuzu's brief curses were cut off as he heaved once more.

"Want me to get Orochimaru?" As much as Sasori hated the snake, he now had to cooperate with the Beast Village medic and his friend looked like he was in need of some form of help.

"No... I think I'm-" Another ten points scored in the porcelain bowl. "Okay... now..." Kakuzu stood shakily, using the counter for support. "I'm too fucking old for this shit." He panted, turning on the faucet and rinsing his mouth while Sasori slipped past, flushing the toilet.

"... I do believe you've got a point." Sasori handed him a towel.

"Will you help me get rid of it?" Kakuzu grumbled, wiping his face.

"Not so fast, Kakuzu." The two jumped when Orochimaru appeared in the doorway. "Before you plan on getting an abortion I should inform you that the chance of the embryo/fetus surviving past a certain point is quite slim. I would honestly wait to see how things turn out or you'll end up regretting it in the end." They blinked at him, unsure what to say.

However there was no need for the snake had retreated. They were left in the bathroom, alone once again. Sasori gave Kakuzu a pat on the back in a vain effort to cheer him up before he departed. He needed to tell Hidan about the morning sickness, although he suspected this would be a bad idea.

–

"Hm, I see. So he's already having morning sickness?" Hidan sighed sympathetically once Sasori had told him of the experience.

"You aren't going to laugh?" Sasori quirked a brow.

Hidan shook his head then stood. Deidara and Sasori watched him make his way to their door.

"I see no reason to. This is all my fault and I suppose I'll have to take responsibility." The door closed, leaving Sasori and Deidara behind in stunned silence.

Thoughts swam in Hidan's mind. He found this all hilarious that Kakuzu should be the one to fall pregnant however, he knew it would be wrong of him to act like a pompous ass. After all... he was going to be a father! He smiled at the thought then it faded as he reached their shared room. Kakuzu stood in the center of the room, back to the door. He didn't turn his head as Hidan shuffled through the wreckage of their room.

"Kuzu?" This time he got a response.

The Jashinist soon found himself crashing against the wall, sliding to the floor. Kakuzu stormed over to him, looming overhead. Hidan's eyes widened and he started to tremble – this wasn't going to end well. Kakuzu reached for Hidan and pulled him up by his hair. Their breaths were labored; Hidan's in pain and Kakuzu's in anger.

"You stupid shit!" Kakuzu snarled, evoking a flinch from the addressed. "How the fuck could you do this to me?"

"I had nothing to do with it, you stupid, greedy, cold-hearted zombified bastard!" Hidan snapped.

Hidan gulped then, realizing what he had said. He prepared for the worst, eyes screwed shut. They opened when the onslaught of pain didn't come. They then widened as he saw Kakuzu's eyes were watering.

"What the...?" Hidan rose a brow and was then dropped. "Uff." He watched as Kakuzu retreated, locking himself in their bathroom. Hidan sighed then followed him. "Kakuzu. Come on, you know I didn't mean it."

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Kakuzu roared in response.

"Maybe I fucking will! Jackass! See if I fucking care that you don't want my fucking love. I see how it is!" Hidan snapped back.

"I do want your love!" Kakuzu suddenly whispered.

Mood swings anybody?

"... Then why don't you just accept the baby... our baby." Hidan sighed. He had gone through this routine so often with his sisters when their babies' daddies gave up on trying to soothe the homicidal mothers.

"I don't want it!" Kakuzu mumbled.

"... Kakuzu-chan..." Hidan rolled his eyes then reached for the key hidden on top of the door frame.

He unlocked the door. Taking a deep breath and counting to three, he opened the door. Inside Kakuzu sat in a corner, knees brought to his chest. It was like he was in the emo corner, Hidan mused. He squat down at the elder's side then went to curl up at his side. The man snapped out of his emotional stupor and looked down at him with a look reading, 'WTF are you doing?'

"You're still going to be the seme after it's born." Hidan snorted. "Hell, you're the seme even now. The brat doesn't have to know you're the one it came from."

"... I still hate you... Hidan-chan." Kakuzu grumbled, picking Hidan up and placing him in their bed.

"Mn, hate you too. Night."

Hm... looks like this will be chapter installments after all...

Again, please no hate comments. *rolls eyes* They can get quite irritating when there are so many worse things on FanFiction. I'm trying my damnedest to please you all... or a number of you. Don't like, Don't. Fucking. READ!

Ahem... anyways, to all that will enjoy this: I'll be updating sooner or later... I also have a KakuHida MPreg... if you don't like Uke!Kakuzu.

One more thing: Does anyone know how to remove reviews just in case?