A/N: Be warned, this fic contains 1) purposeful grammatical snafus, 2) completely ignores all of the events that occurred after and including "El Manana," 3) a very loose interpretation of the Gorillaz time line, and 4) a certain amount of PWP. Also, if Noodle/2D isn't really your thing, you're probably gonna wanna leave now.

Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own Gorillaz. A good thing too, since I can't write music.

Noodle is nine, or at least that's what Russel says, and you don't really know what to think of the diminutive Asian right now. She just kinda showed up one day in a FedEx crate, and now she's the guitarist of this crazy, brain-child band Murdoc came up with (but you're sure it'll work 'cos the band was Murdoc's idea, and Murdoc is pretty smart). You just sort of go with it.

She seems real attached to Russel, like he's some sort of big teddy bear or something, and Russel seems to enjoy the girl's company just as much; the two of them have a bond and you can see it, and you're not sure what to think of that, almost as much as you're not sure what to think of Noodle. Even Murdoc lets her make fun of him (it's real obvious that's what she's doing, no matter what kind of gibberish she's speaking) without so much as blinking. Well, okay, maybe blinking. And scowling. And growling. But he doesn't hurt the girl and that's a luxury you've never experienced (and you don't think he could if he tried 'cos you've seen Noodle practice her kung-fu or whatever, and it was scary). The whole thing kinda boggles you, what with the kid (Do you even like kids? You're not sure.) and the band and all, so you just sit back on the beat-up couch and light up a smoke, watching the fumes curl and weave and twist around your head, and let your mind think about whatever it wants to think about.

And somehow, by some weird train of thought, you end up thinking about Noodle's smile, which is so up-beat and wide and cheery, it makes even dreary Kong Studios seem bright (quite the feat), and you think about her happiness, which you can hardly believe she has, what with her amnesia and all (Russel had explained that too), and you think about her innocence and how much every time you see her you wish you could be like that again, seeing the world with such new eyes, such trusting eyes…

Then you feel a prod in your leg and you turn and there's that little girl just staring at you and you just staring back, not sure what to do. The room starts to feel small and you start to feel awkward and you start wishing Noodle would leave, but then she makes this face at you, and it's not exactly a smile but not exactly not either and somehow you know what she's getting at, even though you don't, and you make a face back at her, and you hope it's a good one, and it is and something clicks. You can feel it. This is your bond. It isn't like Russel's and it isn't like Murdoc's and it's hard to explain but you kinda like it, or at least don't hate it, and you're okay with that.

You take another puff of your cigarette an blow it out (away from Noodle) and reach out a long, skinny hand and pat Noodle on the head and she doesn't even hesitate to break out her big, happy grin and start thinking that maybe you like this kid.

Noodle is ten and by now Gorillaz has blown up in a big way and you think that she might just be the most famous ten-year-old since that Shirley girl and that makes you proud and you don't really know why.

Noodle is taller now, just a little bit, but you think that is just about the only thing that's changed about her 'cause she's still happy and smiley and innocent and you think that's just the way it should be, because now Noodle is Noodle and it would just be weird if she was anyone else. She and Russel still have that father/daughter like thing going on, and Noodle still picks on Murdoc and he still doesn't do anything about it, and you and Noodle still have those moments where you just get each other, but now you also have moments where you just sort of sit together and don't say anything, spoken or otherwise, but you like it and you're pretty sure Noodle likes it too since she's the type of person who wears emotions on her sleeve like that. You think that Russel and Noodle probably have something like this, and you think that maybe even Murdoc and Noodle have something like this, but it's not the same something because this something is yours and Noodle's and that's what makes all the difference.

So you look over at the only slightly-less-little girl and you watch her for a second while she watches nothing, and you crush you cigarette on Kong's roof and reach out a hand and pat Noodle on the head (you can tell she's startled even though she doesn't jump) and she turns and smiles at you, a different smile then normal but still a pretty one you decide that you like that one just fine, too.

Noodle is eleven and you're worried about her because you can tell something is wrong, but she won't say anything to anyone and she won't smile and she won't laugh and you can feel the life being sucked out of the band with this one change and that worries you, too. Russel is worried, maybe even more then you are (definitely more then you are, actually), and even Murdoc seems testier, which is hard for him to manage, but you all think that maybe she's just sick of touring and needs some rest or some time alone. At least, you think that might be it 'cos you're not sure about what Russel thinks and you're afraid to ask Murdoc for more reasons than one.

You hope that's what's wrong, but you're not sure and it feels like something bad is on the way and you don't like it.

Not one bit.

Noodle is twelve and Gorillaz is done and you really don't want to think about any of it right now 'cos it all just makes your head hurt and your chest throb and your stomach sick. You miss all of them. You miss Russel and his cooking and his temper and his relaxed way of talking and how he would at least try to understand, and you miss Murdoc and his yelling and his womanizing and his cursing and his wacky spells (and now that you think about it, your not exactly sure why you miss all of that, but you still do and that's the important part) and Noodle…

Noodle.

You miss her the most. You don't even want to think about all the reasons why because you're not really sure how to word them 'cos they're not really in words and they never were and never will be with the two of you, and you think maybe that's the core of it all, not having that connection anymore.

But you don't want to think any of that. You don't want to miss them. You don't want to care. You don't want to remember (not music, not touring, not living, not hurting, not happy, not sad, not Murdoc, not Russel, and not, not, not, not, not, not, not Noodle).

So you go back home and decide to start over and decide to forget, and you hope it's not that hard.

Noodle is thirteen and you almost didn't notice because forgetting was easier than you'd ever dreamed it to be. You think about Gorillaz all the time, and it's hard not to, considering it's what made you famous and all, but you don't think about what made Gorillaz, Gorillaz. Nothing about Murdoc and Russel and Noodle and how being there made you feel like you belonged somewhere, and now it's just a word with vague meanings behind it, and you don't really think much about it past that because it'll just make you sad and you're happy right now.

So you're here, back in your home town living it up and meeting a bunch of pretty girls and generally enjoying the fruits of your labors, what with all the band stuff and what not, and it's a blast. Why would you ever want to go back to being in a band when you've got all this cool stuff with just the first go around? What's the point?

But then you're sitting at the edge of your bed one night, alone (not really alone though, 'cos there's a girl in your bed and she's got a pretty face and nice assets but you can't really remember her name off the top of your head and will have forgotten she even exists by tomorrow), and you're smoking a cigarette and thinking about nothing in particular when you remember Noodle and how you and she would sit like this on the roof sometimes and how nice that was, even in its silence, and you notice that right now you just feel lonely and you wish you had sent Noodle (and Russel and Murdoc, but mostly Noodle) a letter, just to see how she was doing but you don't even know where she is right now (and the same for the rest of the band, which just makes you sadder). You make a sort of choking, gasping noise and you think you might end up crying, sitting on a bed, smoking a cigarette but you don't, and the moment passes and soon you forget about the real Gorillaz again and go back to being happy and you don't have a thought about smiles and silences and belonging.

Noodle is fourteen and Gorillaz is back together and you feel like you belong again and everything's right with the world, but things have changed. Not with Murdoc, 'cos he's still a bastard (and you've decided you don't like him now and he was never really nice to you anyway, so it's no skin off your nose) and not with Russel (well, that's a lie 'cos something's kinda off with Russel, and you think it was something nasty and scary, and you miss the old Russel a little bit but he's still Russel way down deep and you think that, with time, he'll be okay) but Noodle is different which is just plain freaky for you 'cos you never thought she'd ever change, but now she's taller by a whole bunch and she actually looks like a girl (before most people couldn't tell, and she's a pretty thing, you think privately sometimes, which you find in itself is stranger still) and she's wearing make up and speaking English, (even though it's with a big accent, but now you can understand her even when you're not being quiet, and you don't know if you like that or not quite yet) but most of all she's just older. She's not innocent anymore: she knows. She knows about all the bad things in the world, like war and hunger and murder and suicide and all the things that go wrong and all the things we should have prevented but didn't, and it makes you sad because you liked that about Noodle, her sweet, young innocence, and you miss it (you really, really, really miss it but you're not ready to own up to that).

So you're not really sure how to act around this new Noodle and you just kinda hide away from all of it and sit on the ratty old couch and smoke a cigarette, and you're watching the white trails it leaves behind as it floats away (like a drunk jet, you think) when you feel a prod in your shoulder, and you look over and you see Noodle and she's just staring at you and you just stare back and you start to feel awkward and you kinda wish Noodle would leave (God, this feels familiar, and you think way, way back to that time five years ago when you didn't really know Noodle, and you don't know her now either, now that you think about it) and then she gives you this look that's all together different from the last time but not, and you give a look back and you get each other, and you start to get this warm feeling in your gut 'cos this is what you wanted for three years, and you smile, just plain ol' smile, and you start to reach out a hand to pat Noodle on the head but never get a chance to, 'cos she moves forward real fast and wraps her arms (skinny, skinny arms, God she's so thin) around your stomach and squeezes you real tight, and you're kinda surprised since Noodle was never really the touchy-feely type, and you can count the number of times she's hugged you on both hands and have fingers left over, but then she says something (which is strange too and you remind yourself that you're gonna hafta get used to understanding Noodle when she talks):

"I missed you, 2D."

And she sounds so sincere and so happy and so sad and so, so many other things, and you think about those few times when you were away that you felt lonely and forgotten and that you didn't belong anywhere, and now you feel so perfect, everything feels so perfect and you smile again and wrap your arms around her shoulders (skinny, skinny shoulders too) and you answer her:

"I missed you too, Noodle." And you mean it more then you've ever meant anything (at least you think you do 'cause you know your memory's not the absolute greatest in the world, but you're fairly certain).

Noodle is fifteen and "Demon Days" is out and Gorillaz is bigger then it's ever been before. You're busy, busy, busy now and you almost wish you were back in your home town slacking off, but the whole roller coaster ride is well worth it most of the time. Everything has kinda gotten back to its normal-ish ways around Kong, despite the interviews and recordings and on and on, and everybody's treating each other about the same as they did before (except you think that Murdoc is even more of a nob then ever, always trying to steal the spotlight and saying that the entire new album was his idea when it was really Noodle's, and every time he does it you just want to pummel him and you think Russel does too, but Noodle doesn't seem to mind 'cos she just a saint like that and you marvel at how grown-up she can be.) except now you feel like something might be going wrong with you because sometimes you look at Noodle and see someone, well... attractive. Like, you look at her and see someone you wouldn't mind kissing, wouldn't mind hold in your arms, wouldn't mind pressing against a wall and –

You stop there and don't let it get any farther, because Noodle is, once again, fifteen and you really shouldn't be feeling this way, not about a girl who's thirteen years younger than you and still in the midst of puberty, a girl who might be amazing and smart and mature, but still couldn't possibly be ready for any sort of relationship, let alone one with a git like you (a girl who probably hasn't even had a first kiss and, goodness, her lips are thin and you wonder if it's any different from the many full lips you've tasted, and then you stop again), not to mention what Russel would do or maybe even Murdoc for that matter...

But then you glance over at Noodle while you're recording a new song - a love song, the band's first love song - and she's strumming this sorta gentle, soft melody that seems to come from everywhere and nowhere, a melody that's haunting and beautiful, and you almost can't breathe for reasons you can't even begin to explain, and she looks up at you and your eyes lock for just a second and she smiles in a way that's small and pretty and crinkles up her eyes just a bit at the corners. You tuck this smile away in your mind and put it up against all those other smiles Noodle has given you over the years, and you find this one to be the best one yet, because it's not just happy this time, it's also deep and almost sensual, and maybe just the slightest bit flirty in that twinkling green.

Anyway, that's what you hope it is, and in the mean time you sing and look and have thoughts you know you shouldn't have, but it's not as if anyone can see into your head, now, can they?

Noodle is sixteen and you and the rest of the band are having a small party in Kong Studios, just the four of you, before the big, public party you're gonna have in a week and you have to admit, it's been a fun little get-together so far. Russel made a cake that has more layers in it than you can count, and each layer is something delicious and unique and absolutely amazing, and Russel just shrugs and smiles and says that sixteenth birthdays are always a big deal, even in America where it doesn't mean that you're an adult like it does here in Britain, and for something so special you should have a special cake. Murdoc got Noodle a creepy statue of a voodoo doll or something that looks like its eyes are always following you, and he says that the guy he bought it of off looked pretty legit for a man in a dark corner at a Satanist's convention, but Noodle scolds him for buying it like he was some kinda stupid little kid and makes him promise to send it back to the man as soon as he can, but then just as quick she laughs and ruffles Murdoc's fringe and he grumbles, but you know he likes it somewhere deep down.

You, however, mostly just feel ridiculous because you couldn't figure out what to get Noodle for her birthday at all and you had to stand there and awkwardly admit it after all the other gifts had been given out, and you can see Russel shake his head like he's never gonna figure you out and you can hear Murdoc snickering behind his hand, even though his gift was a complete bust, but Noodle just smiles one of those wonderful, beautiful smiles and takes your hand and squeezes it, and later on that night, when Russel had gone to bed and Murdoc was drunk off his rocker, and the two of you are walking down the halls to your own bedrooms, you both stop and give each other looks, the kind of silent looks that always worked best when it came to communicating between the two of you, and Noodle's eyes are twinkling again, just like they were on that day not very long ago at all, and you think that maybe you might just follow Noodle up to her room instead of going to your own, and maybe the two of you will sit on her bed and your fingers will touch and then your lips and then your hands will start to move and you'll feel the curve of her face while she explores your neck and collar bone, and really, it's not like you're gonna do much more than that, and it's not as if Noodle isn't an adult now, and it's not as if you've ever felt quite this way about anyone before in your life.

Besides, you owe Noodle a birthday present, and you've finally figured out what she wants.

A/N: Oh my God, I can't believe I ever finished this. This has literally been sitting around on my computer for years. I always liked the idea, so I never deleted it, but I never could find any real drive to bring it to completion either. But, thanks to the release of "Plastic Beach," my waning interest in the Gorillaz has come back full force. Please forgive this story for being so severely AU but, once again, it's been in the works for quite some time, so that's somewhat inevitable. I hope you enjoyed!