Title: Lovelorn
Author: Lycanus
Fandom: Clash Of The Titans ( 2010 )
Character(s): Ixas
Rating: M
Summary: Where a young soldier confesses to himself his true feelings for the one man he admires and respects the most ...
Comments & Reviews: positive comments welcomed.
Disclaimer: Sadly, neither Ixas nor the object of his affections, belong to me. Neither do the rest of the Gods and Titans. No matter how sore my knees have become from constant prayer and wishful thinking - they still belong to Louis Leterrier and Warner Bros.

Warning: contains mild slash and strong language.

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Lovelorn

i) The Determination of Youth

Ixas' pov:

He's old enough to be my father.

Cold. Arrogant. Proud. Unfeeling. And a ruthless, vicious bastard. An embittered warrior who never smiles and a merciless killer. Yet inspite of it all, I'm irresistibly drawn to him. I can't help being attracted to him. I want him ...

The Captain of the Honour Guard. Draco.

At first, I was fascinated by him. He intrigued me and commanded both awe and respect from everyone. I only knew what the other soldiers knew of him. That their much respected Captain was a stoic, silent man who guarded his privacy fiercely. That he was a widower, who lost his wife at childbirth ... and that his only child - a daughter - whom he loved deeply and treasured above all else, had also been stolen away from him. On her sixteenth birthday. Since her death, he'd changed beyond all recognition into the man he is today. One who vowed never to love or smile again.

But I've taken a vow of my own. Sworn on my life that I'll be the one who will make him smile - no, laugh - once more. That I'll be the one to make him fall in love again ... And I will not rest until he is mine. Heart. Body. And soul ...

My friend, Eusebios, believes that I am clearly mad to have given my love to one who is so cold. One that no longer possesses a heart. But I do not care. Despite his reputation for being a bastard, I know Draco's a good man at heart. A brave one. An honourable one. And a wise one. A man who possesses a keen and shrewd wit, as well as a mind which is far sharper than the lethal blade of his sword.

Eusebios claims that what I feel for Draco is nothing but youthful infatuation. A mere fancy which I will grow out of. But deep in my heart - in the marrow of my bones - I know he is wrong. What I feel for our Captain is far greater. It is stronger and more powerful than anything I've ever dreamed of ... or felt for anyone before.

The sound of Draco's deep, husky, faintly accented voice makes my heart race. And every moment I'm permitted to be in his presence, I treasure more than life itself.

But the sight of him ? Ah ... that truly takes my breath away. For Draco is handsome. God-like in his beauty. There is character, strength and nobility in every fine line of his lean, attractive face. It is branded with a dignity and a wealth of life's experience that only comes with maturity. Like I said, Draco is an exceptionally handsome man. His long, dark, braided hair - which I often imagine combing with my fingers - is now streaked with silver, as is his neatly trimmed beard.

I dream of his lips constantly. They are full and sensual ... just begging to be claimed by mine. And some day, I swear by the gods, by Olympus itself, I will do it. I yearn to feel them against mine. To caress them slowly. Lingeringly. To part them, so I may plunder the moist, heated cavern of his mouth. To have his tongue snake around mine as we duel for dominance. I long to nip at those perfect lips, then to gently lave the sting away with my tongue. Soothing him. Comforting him. Tempting him. To utterly seduce him until I'm the only thing he's able to think of. To feel. To want ... Need ... And above all else, love ...

But his most striking assets are his eyes. They are stunningly beautiful. A warm, rich, clear gold. All-observant, full of intelligence and tinged with sorrow. They are the windows to his soul and have enslaved me from the moment we first met. One look was all it took and I was drowning in liquid gold. Captivated. Beguiled. And I was helpless. For I knew, I'd irrevocably lost my heart to this man for ever.

Despite having lived thirty four summers, Draco has the body of a man in his twenties. Lean and lithe, yet hard and sinewy. I am taller than him, yet when I'm in his company, I feel dwarfed by him. He is an imposing figure and moves with a silent, powerful, predatory grace. Full of vigour and vitality. And so virile. Everytime I look at him, my body clenches with an undeniable need. I burn for him. Crave his touch. Yearn to feel that strong, powerful, athletic frame entwined around me and for him to never set me free ...

I have no control whatsoever about the way I feel about him. Nor how my body responds to his close proximity.

I respect him. Desire him. Need him. I love him. And he, in his blissful ignorance, has no knowledge, no inkling, of my feelings. Of how I long to change all that. To make him aware of it. To have him notice me ... and to finally see the real me. Not a mere boy or a youth, but a man who knows his own mind and heart. Despite being a seemingly impudent, impetuous young cub as Solon often describes me. One who is capable of love and who loves purely. Deeply. Passionately.

But for now, I am content to wait. I will bide my time. For I'm aware that to rush in without thinking will ensure that Draco will never be mine. I will need to be careful. To plan my seduction to the last detail. To woo him if need be - but to make damn sure that he finally recognizes me for who and what I am. A man who loves and respects him above all others. That I would willingly - eagerly - sacrifice myself if it ensured my Captain's wellbeing and happiness.

Until then, I'm happy to be his loyal slave ... and will guard Draco's safety - his life - as fiercely and as wholeheartedly as Cerberus protects the Underworld for its master, Hades. I shall remain devoted to him ... I have eyes for no other than him and am content to drink my beloved's Draco's beauty from the shadows as I patiently wait for him to see that I am sincere. That he means everything to me.

That he is my life and is the one responsible for the constant, steady beat of my yearning heart ...

Finis