Thank you for waltzing into 'Devil May Care'! This adventure has been carefully mapped out, note for note. A precious friend of mine (he knows who he is) requested the Snake/Vincent Valentine pairing, and I took great pains to create this little gem. I have created my own soundtrack to this. I have taken inspiration from the Sailor Moon anime, the Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children film, and the .hack//sign anime. And here's another tidbit: this is post Metal Gear Solid 4.

Yeppers, children, this is all a part of my 2010 parade. I plotted out every last detail of this, even the end, so fasten your seat belts! Makes me wonder what'll come next...

I appreciate your support, but before you tread into this tale, please make sure you heed this warning.

If you're allergic to boy/boy couples, can't stomach an emotional Old/Solid Snake, can't tolerate Snake paired with anyone other than Meryl or Otacon, and/or if you're unable to tolerate Cloud being paired with anyone other than Tifa, this tale won't be for you. PLEASE DO NOT READ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN HERE! And oh! We've got a guest character here, coming straight out of Final Fantasy Versus XIII! You'll be able to figure out who he is.

As a very dear fried of mine knows, Sunny has a knack for referring to her loved ones by the name of anime characters. Tifa was named after a .hack//sign character, Cid's nickname 'Bear' comes from the same anime, Reno's name is the name of a maiden from 'Ai Yori Aoshi' (and it translates into the word 'love'), and Barret's name is 'Nataku', fashioned after 'Epyon'. Bwee hee hee.

And I'm pretty sure you kiddies can figure this part out. I don't own smack, and if I did, there would be yaoi parties all over the place.

This first chapter was composed to the unbeatable sounds of Final Fantasy XIII. And for the record, kitties, I personally think Old Snake's far cuter than Solid Snake, but...well, you'll discover what happens.

His heart was a rotating prism, churning inside of his chest with a cacophonious array of emotions. Sorrow, frustration, anger and happiness each took their turns at ruling his body, but the last emotion was always overriden without fail. The flames of sadness always consumed every trace of joy, making it so happiness never existed. And whenever sunshine managed to weave itself into his hours, it was always stained by the black poison of heartache. It was never pure to begin with.

He was cast into Hell, first class. The minions of the crimson underworld whisked him away from family and into their world-the world of the unholy. Satan himself gave him the grand tour, assuming the mortal form of Emperor Hojo. His gracious host appeared to be nothing more than an eccentric old man, but wielded the most threatening aspirations known to history. Nuclear explosions went off in his mind, and he found each of them to be so delightful, they were practically orgasmic. The explosions concerned the most wicked forms of torture, and he utilized every form. Day in and night out. Truth be told, Snake couldn't even tell the difference between night and day.

It was hard to make sense of anything, being treated and locked up like a rabid beast, but he managed to catch wind of a few things. Hojo and his men, hulking beasts of nature, were intent on either securing or opening gates. By doing so, they'd be able to summon an ancient beast. Hojo's men were collectively known as the Ifrit Counsel, performers of secret rituals. They had worshipped the beast of fire in secret, but now their exercises were out in the open. Hojo's cohorts were nothing short of malicious vampires, savoring the taste of their prey's blood. They savored the taste of Snake's blood, to be precise.

Hojo and his men relished the taste and sight of his blood, absorbing it as a flower absorbed water. The Counselmen simply tore him apart on a daily basis, while Hojo gave him the first class package of Hell. The chieftain of Ifrit had no particular purpose for him-at least, not when it came to the Counsel agenda. He merely wanted a companion, a plaything, a toy. Something to torment, kill, roast and then kill all over again.

Hojo knew how to play with his toys. He knew how to play with Snake. He knew how to slice, dice and grill. He knew how to raise his plaything's hopes, and then churn them into dust. He knew how to pull off his prey's skin, suck the blood off of it, and have the entire nightmare just start all over again.

Just when he thought the nightmare came to an end, Hojo would press the 'reset' button. When he thought his life had come to an end, Hojo would just press the 'rewind' button, and everything would begin anew.

He might not have used the old soldier's body for the Counsel, but he definitely used it for play. Laughing, grinning, Hojo penetrated him over and over again, shaking the table. Hojo tore into him, plunged inside of him, corrupted and overwhelmed him. His laughter tore into his prey's eardrums as his shaft tore plunged into his holes. Hojo left no base unturned during playtime, and sometimes extended playtime by...well, to Snake, it seemed like forever.

A part of him wished for death, but whenever Hojo dangled it in front of his face, the other part of him rejected it. How could he, in good conscience, accept death when there was so much to live for? The other half of his heart, the pessimistic part, did everything in its power to argue against that question. Hojo had ravaged him, killed him far more times than he could count, and he was far too dirty to return to the world of the living. In his eyes, he was a rotting, stinking corpse.

How could a maggot infested freak, with eyes hanging out of his sockets, possibly return to a family?

Life wasn't easy to understand. As much as he wanted to wither away, he was happy to rejoin the world of light. Someone by the name of Vincent Valentine took him out of Hojo's custody, but the details weren't readily available to him. Luckily for him, Vincent happened to be the most chivalrous man around. His rescuer left him in the care of an even bigger family than he had before, taking great pains to make sure he was comfortable. The thing was, though, he wasn't in human form. He wasn't in the form of an old, wrinkly man.

He was in the form of a beast.

Yes, a scientist's experiment had definitely gone awry. Hojo had given him enough 'serums' to kill an army of bison. The serums were supposedly meant to remove his 'threads to humanity', as Hojo repeatedly put it, and as much as it pained him to admit it, the serums succeeded. They eradicated his links to mortal civilization, transforming his world into a blurred menagerie of voids, bold colors and screams. Sanity was crushed day by day, replaced by a whirlpool without end.

And with all of that, he transformed into a shadow of his former self.

From what he could understand, he was meant to transform into another 'Sephiroth'. His body, already old and riddled with FOXDIE, rejected every last one of Hojo's injections. The serums collided with the threads of accelerated aging, clashed with FOXDIE and molded his body into an indescribable mess. He didn't admire himself in the mirror, but he knew. He knew his body fought against Hojo's serums, and Hojo.

His body fought against Hojo and lost.

Despite how ugly he was, though, his family loved him. They loved him, adored him, and would spent every last breath loving him. Vincent, his liberator, definitely had no problem with him, and neither did the others. He couldn't have asked for a more loving, compassionate family, but at the same time, he felt he didn't deserve their unwavering love. He was a horrid, putrid beast, and they were messengers of Heaven.

As his family slathered him in love, they led him into the walls of a humble sanctuary. Vincent vanished into the thick of the night, on 'intel' duty (as Tifa explained it). His remaining family members escorted him to a modest church, and instructed him to step into the church's rich waters. Immersed in silence that had been born at the creation of time, the beast did as he was told-and emerged in the form of a healthy, thirty year old man. Vibrant eyes, short brown hair, muscular physique-it was as if the world hadn't tampered with him one bit.

His mind, however, was still stained.

There were several hearts beating inside of him. One heart happened to be Tifa-miss Tifa Lockhart. In honor of her charming demeanor and unwavering optimism, Sunny called her 'Mimiru'. The willowy martial artist could knock over a mountain with the world's deadliest kicks, could charm a dragon with her smile, and easily caused every heart around her to melt. She took a shine to Snake as fish took a shine to water, readily devoting herself to his physical and mental needs. Frequently referring to him as either 'sweetheart' or 'sweetie', she showered Snake in wholesome adoration.

Reno, whom Sunny called 'Aoi', was beautiful-on the inside and outside. A fox couldn't outwit him, Wyatt Earp couldn't have surpassed his skills as a gunner, and butterflies sang whenever he smiled. As Tifa easily melted her hearts with her smile, Reno melted the hearts of men and women with a single wink. He might have been on the quiet side, but he did everything in his power to make Snake comfortable, and his optimism was worth millions. He made everything seem so simple, so easy to overcome. If the world had crumbled around them, and he was the last hope for humanity, he'd still be as hopeful as a shooting star.

Snake desperately needed his brand of optimism.

Barret was the next to grace his mind. Constantly seen alongside Cid, he walked through life with two different sides. He was a doting father and vociferous soldier, bravely fighting for everyone he loved. He took a shine to children as Cid took a shine to sarcasm, which made him a perfect fit for a tired soldier's heart. His dedication towards Marlene was already beautiful enough, and he was incredibly close to Tifa, but his treatment towards Snake brought tears to Snake's eyes. The legend felt pressure on his reddened, weary eyes as he thought of Barret's bear hugs, wide smiles and promises.

Cid could either be classified as Barret's twin brother or partner. Either way, it was easy to see Cid was unbelievably close to Marlene's father. With similiar speech patterns and mercurial dispositions, the two of them were quite a pair. Seeing the two of them in action was akin to seeing the sun rise with the moon's descent. Both entities were working together, in order to uphold the world's balance, and their unity was a miracle to behold.

At first Snake thought his imagination was playing with him, but the tricks of his imagination weren't tricks at all. His eyes were speaking clearly to him, and they were speaking of Cid's devotion towards Hal. The rough blonde, going out of his normal character, was strangely gentle towards Hal-giving himself a million bonus points, in Snake's book.

It was high time Hal found someone with not only a brain, but a heart to match.

Noctis, whom Sunny affectionately referred to as 'Nocturne', wasn't an original member of the Strife Delivery Service. As a matter of fact, neither was Reno, but both of them were temporary members. While the beautiful redhead was filling in for his absent boyfriend, Cloud, Noctis was simply on vacation. Listening to a bawling otaku's story about a missing old friend propelled him out of his vacation, and into a pit of fire. Peril didn't bother him, though, as he always put himself on the line for friends and strangers. With an upbeat attitude, a sugary sweet heart, and an obvious fondness for old school chivalry, he cared for Snake as a gardener cared for a field of roses.

Beautiful, youthful roses.

Cid was Barret's shadow, and Sunny was Reno's shadow. She shared the fireball's optimism, believing light would burst forth no matter what. Even as her father wept over his enslaved friend, she kept a smile on her face. She stood strong, just as the tides stood high. She was the nepenthe her father needed, and the miracle that blessed all hearts. She certainly blessed Snake's heart, loving him even as he was forced to exist in the form of a hideous beast. The little maiden spoke to him as if nothing had gone wrong, even using his time-honored nickname, Epyon.

It was no wonder Reno constantly lifted her onto his shoulder.

Last but not least, Hal 'Otacon' Emmerich took the spotlight. He had a heartbreaking habit of bursting into tears, which no one enjoyed, but had a heart of steel. He had a great deal of trouble acknowledging his strength, but kept on going even when things seemed to be at their darkest. Being in a strange world, and knowing his best friend was in the hands of a madman, did not make the otaku happy. He ended up in Midgar in the hopes of healing his friend's tired heart, only to have him stolen away by Hojo and his Counsel! Luckily, someone referred him to the Cloud Strife Delivery Service!

Snake's new form changed nothing between the dynamic duo. Hal still spoke to his first friend as if he hadn't changed forms at all. The otaku treated the older male like a child at times, due to his childlike demeanor, but the treatment wasn't the least bit degrading. And after all, Snake always had the mannerisms of a puppy. He lost them due to trauma for a moment, but his elevating comfort level with the family gradually revived them.

One particularly sweet, charming moment happened when a beast poked at a few red Chocobos. Catching his friend before he made a mess, Hal scolded him-all the while dragging him by his ear.

It was simple. Sad, but simple.

There was no way in Hell Snake deserved such a family. Even after everything they had been through, he didn't deserve any of them. He didn't deserve Tifa, Reno, Cid, Hal, and sure as Hell didn't deserve Vincent. None of them should be sentenced to a lifetime with such a burden. His time in their hearts was blasphemous to the world they had come from-the world of the angels. His body might have been healed, but that didn't make him any less dirtier. He was even uglier than before, broken and battered. Peering off into the ocean below, he figured life amongst the waves would be preferable to staining the lives of his family. His soul mates.

That was right. The band had made its way into Corel, and had stopped for the night. While his dashing rescuer was out and about, collecting information on Hojo's aspirations, the rest of the team had to combat Hojo's forces. They either had to deal with the Counsel's Brigades or hordes of beasts, all of which came from Hojo's hands. In addition to that, they had to combat the wraiths of each gate. Somehow, Hojo and his companions managed to open (that was right-they wanted to open gates) the gates they needed in a sufficient amount of time. Those able to fight on Snake's team battled against the same wraiths, defeated them, and closed the gates. They were currently on the trail of another wraith, hoping to make some real progress.

And they would have to do it without a certain young man.

"Don't. Please don't. Don't go."

The thirty year old puppy whirled around, surprised by the arrival of a voice. Several inches away from him stood the one and only Vincent, dressed in a Counselman's uniform. While the thin, raven-haired male looked calm, he held the sorrow of a thousand black nights. Disconsolate wolves were raging, screaming, howling inside of his brave soul.

"Don't go. Don't cast your life away."

Snake stared at him. He stared at the one responsible for his ability to see Corel's oceans, Corel's moonlit sky. He stared without one shred of anger, frustration or hatred.

He stared with the heaviest emotion of all: sorrow.

Vincent approached him cautiously, not wanting to frighten him. Babyish eyes observed him as he approached a puppy, arms outstretched, pleading for an embrace. "I know of the pain you hold, deep within your heart," the black wolf said softly, gently. "But you cannot give up on the light. Your destiny is engulfed in light. It is not overwhelmed by darkness...like mine."

Horror split through Snake's watery eyes. "You're like me," he said, as if Hal had just said 'I'm your father'. He remembered how Vincent had transformed in a battle against him, pitted against him by Hojo. Hojo had forced Snake, who was in beast form, into a duel with the Valentine, and the Valentine wanted to comfort him by using his own beast form. Sadly, though, Snake's strength surpassed the Valentine's. He would have killed his own rescuer if it hadn't been for Hal, who bravely stepped in just when Snake was about to deal the finishing blow. Catching his old friend's claws, and ripping his own hands apart in the process, Hal took a stand. He made the greatest move not only for his old friend's revival, but for Vincent's safety.

He sang Weird Al Yankovich's 'Polkamon'.

"Hojo screwed you just as he screwed me."

"Yes," the Valentine said, slowly bringing Snake into an embrace. The legend shut his eyes at the contact, and placed his head against the other male's shoulder. The softness of Vincent's voice allied itself with the rushing waves.

"He toyed with my body just as he toyed with yours. However, your path is meant to be graced with light. You are surrounded by those that love you. While your pain runs deep, and seems to be without end, you are not without hope. You are not without love."

He nuzzled his head against Vincent's shoulder, feeling warm and lighter than a feather. In mere moments, liquid began to rush from his eyes, and he realized everything the Valentine said contradicted everything he had once said to Raiden. He, Old Snake, vehemently claimed he was meant to ebb into darkness, while Raiden was meant for the light.

Wait a minute. It was as if 'Old Snake' had switched places with Vincent, and the present Snake was in Raiden's place.

"Do not give up on the light. Believe in it, Snake. Trust it. Your heart will soon be overwhelmed by it."

A puppy's tearful eyes fluttered open. The melody of rushing waves graced his ears, as Vincent's soft heartbeat meshed with his. But something wasn't right. No, everything was all wrong! How could Vincent speak so horribly? How could he say such things? How could Vincent resign himself to darkness?

He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. There was just too much to fathom, and even if he could decipher anything, it was all too painful to examine. Not even Vincent could soothe his throbbing soul, despite the overwhelming warmth he poured into his hungry heart. The Valentine was so soft, so comforting, yet his mere presence was troubling.

At least there weren't any more words. There weren't any more words or thoughts. There were only the waves crashing against Corel's rocks, and the sound of two hearts beating.

There were only two lonely souls, reaching out to each other.

Snake fell, but he didn't fall off one of Corel's cliffs. Eyes closed, heart beating, he fell into something he never thought he'd fall into.

He fell in love. And for the first time in a very long time, he smiled. On the inside and outside.