Risenfromash: This is the much anticipated continuation of So Much Left Unsaid where for the first time we see the story from Phoenix's POV. I wrote most of this long before now, but I didn't feel confident about my knowledge of poker and so I did some…er…research before posting it. I am sorry to have kept you guys waiting for it, especially since this tale is very special to me. The tension between these two best friends and their inability to communicate really gets to me making it the only thing I have ever authored that moved me to tears while writing it. First person Edgeworth feels so awkward, so tragic…
There will be at least one more chapter to tie things up a little for Phoenix, but it needs some major revisions so it may be awhile before I get it posted. Thanks for your patience.
FYI: Unlike in Wants and Needs, the dialogue in So Much Left Unsaid is synched up between the two POV so the spoken words should exactly match those in the earlier chapters, except for where I flubbed up and had Edgeworth call Phoenix "Nick" instead of "Phoenix," but we won't talk about that the fact that egregious error escaped my attention.
CHAPTER 4- Phoenix Wright's POVI'm told someone's here to challenge me and frankly I find it a relief. My musical repertoire is really only about five songs, so I've just been messing around at the keyboard for about the last half hour or so.
I wonder what kind of cocky bastard I get to school tonight and how far they've traveled to get here. My winning streak has earned me a reputation and I'm starting to get people coming from out of town just to challenge me.
I tromp into the Hydeout to give my usual spiel before a game. "Well, let's do this thin-g-g…" I glance upward to size up my opponent and it's Edgeworth. What the fuck is he doing here? Oh, God this means word of my disbarment has reached him. He's probably here to say he's always warned me about my carelessness. Either he's here to gloat or to pity me, and I want neither.
"Edgeworth?"
"Yes, Wright, it's me. Though I believe you're the one who looks less recognizable. I mean, I still have the same fashion sense."
"If that's what you call it." If I was made of money with fancy ass cars and leather office furniture maybe I could afford better, but who cares? This is comfortable and that's what I need right now. Comfort. Me and Trucy are in a hell of a mess…
"Wright, what's going on?" Like he doesn't know exactly what's going on, the ass. I lost my damn job- the one I spent years of my life studying to get. So now I'm making due. Like Mr. Eldoon. All my eggs weren't in one basket. I got other talents…granted I'm not sure piano is one of them, but that's just a cover anyways. So, what's it matter?
"We're playing poker. Or is that not what you're here for, because it's why I'm here."
"Phoenix, obviously I came here to talk with you about what happened." Talk. Yeah, right. That means either say 'I told ya so' or shower me with ridiculous amounts of pity. I don't need that shit. That's why I haven't told anyone myself. I don't need everybody feeling sorry for me. The person who deserves pity is poor Trucy. She's lost her damn father, and sure he was a weird guy, but he was her dad and now, now she has no one…other than me.
"Nothin' to talk about. I've lost my badge. I play piano now. So if you don't want to play get out." I'm looking down. I don't want to talk about what happened I don't want to explain how I screwed up and cost a little girl her dad. I don't want to explain how I was hurting so much that day from missing Maya that I couldn't concentrate. I don't want to admit how confused I am.
"Wright-"
"Are we playing or not?" Jessie asks.
Edgeworth nods signaling her to deal and she explains what the chips are worth. When she explains our poker chip value system Miles rolls his eyes. "Let me guess. It was your idea to do it that way, Wright." He likes everything logical. You'd think by now he'd have figured out that nothing in this fucked up world is predictable or logical.
I shrug. "You gotta do what you can to keep things interesting." We ante.
Jessie deals our cards. She knows Trucy will come in a minute or two to help out if I need it, but this is only Edgeworth. I should do fine even without Trucy's special abilities.
I get dealt a jack of spades, a king of spades, a two of hearts, a six of diamonds, and a two of clubs. A freaking pair of deuces. Figures. I've got a couple spades. I could go for a flush…or I could just toss out everything but the pair and hope for the best, but I won't get lucky enough to get a full house or anything. I decide to chuck the jack and the six and keep the king and the pair of twos. If I chuck the king it will reveal that all I've got is a pair and considering it's only a pair of twos I'd rather bluff a little.
"Franziska and I wanted to offer our help."
"Like either of you care about me. I'm sure Franziska's as happy as a pig in shit about me being disbarred." Franny is such a pain in the ass and I can't stand that Edgeworth has decided to shack up with her over there in von Karma Land. I thought he had principles! He may think she's changed her ways, but that woman is evil through and through. If she wasn't born that way Manfred made sure she became that way. Damn, I sound like I'm jealous. I just never thought he'd permanently move back to Germany…
"I don't like your tone, Wright! Don't you talk about my sister like that!"
God damn, he's touchy! Not like I haven't heard him complain about Franziska. I mean she's almost had him jailed for murder! She would do anything to beat him. She's told him she hates him. I wonder what dinnertime is like in their mansion. Maybe it's a food fight every night. Maya and I used to love to have food fights. I remember this one time she got all this mustard in my ear. It was so gross…ugh! What the hell am I doing? Focus, Phoenix! This is not the time to be thinking about Maya. For God's sake, focus!
Jessie deals us our cards.
"You just take off to Germany-" I murmur. Bastard!
"And Maya returns to Kurain…" I cringe. I miss Maya too damn much. I always miss here when she's away, but I've been feeling strange about the whole thing. The other day when the Department of Child Safety asked about the 'nature' of my friendship with her I swear I felt disappointed when I said we were never romantically involved with one another. Maybe I'm just super lonely since breaking up with Iris. I just remember that day in court. All I could think about was how I did the right thing breaking it off with Iris because she wasn't fun like Maya and I wasn't as happy with her. Like I was happier being involved with Maya platonically than in a real relationship with Iris. That's fucked up and it had me so messed up I lost my badge. I can't face her now!
I turn over the cards that I've been dealt and I can't believe my luck. I got another two! I know better than to smile. Three of a kind isn't bad, but it isn't good either, especially when it's only deuces. I flip over the other card and oh baby! It's a king. The king of hearts.
"So, how is Iris dealing with all of this?"
Oh, yeah. Last he heard we were pretty damn close to getting married…ugh. I can't decide who I'd like to think of less, Maya or Iris. Probably Maya. It's too painful. I'm a damn idiot. I think I actually have feelings for her. Wrong feelings.
Edgeworth bets, but I can tell he has no confidence in his hand. I may as well raise him. I'm sure I've got the winning hand, but if I'm too obviously cocky Edgeworth will fold. Then again he'll expect me to raise him. He knows me. If I do it nonchalantly he'll figure I'm just playing the part of the champion.
I toss some chips on the pile. "Raise yah."
Edgey is too proud to not see my raise even though I'm sure he's got nothin'.
"Ready?" Jessie asks.
Edgeworth flips his cards over. "Pair of Jacks."
I shake my head. He's such a bad card player. "Full house."
I smirk. I'll kick his ass all the way back to Germany. God, why am I so pissed he moved away? Well, I guess he is my best friend…other than Maya, of course. God, Phoenix, quit thinking about Maya. You have a problem, dude. She has her own life and her own duties and even though you're not a lawyer you do, too or did you forget about Trucy already? You remember Trucy don't you? That little girl whose father you lost for her?
I slide my winnings towards me.
"Wright, you didn't answer me? What's going on with Iris?" Damn it. He noticed. Of course, he did. It's Edgeworth, after all. He could find the tiniest little measly cut just to pour salt on it, but never intentionally. The man is just that oblivious. God, I miss him.
"We broke up, all right?" Wow. I sound like a jerk. I think I need to calm down. I don't even care that I broke up with Iris. I'm just upset because I know I did it because of Maya and that just doesn't seem right somehow.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He doesn't seem sorry, but then again he's never been in love so he doesn't really get how miserable it can be. Then again I kinda think I wasn't actually in love with Iris…or Dahlia for that matter. I'm stupid. So, fucking stupid!
Jessie collects the cards and starts shuffling them.
"So, Wright I hear you are in the process of becoming a father." For some reason the mental image that brings to my mind is not the court hearings and the mental examinations I've been enduring. It's something more physical, more primal. I'm lonely. What can I say?
"That's right. Trucy's father was the defendant in my last case."
Is Edgey smirking at me? He can't seriously think it's funny that I not only lost my badge and the case (sort-of), but also managed to lose a little girl her father in the process. But then again Edgeworth has a twisted sense of humor and it's probably much worse now thanks to him hanging out with Franny all the time. What a messed up household they must have…can they even stand being in the same room with one another?
"Do you think that's wise right now? Shouldn't you be working on getting your badge back?"
"No. Trucy's my priority right now. She needs someone and I screwed up. I didn't forge anything, but I did present it in court. So, I may as well just move on with my life." There, I've said it. Now maybe he'll leave me alone. My lawyer days are over. Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright is done, washed up, dead.
"And push away everyone who was part of your past? Is that your plan, Wright?"
Bingo!
"Gee, Edgey? Who does that remind me of? At least I didn't fake my own death." Bastard. I loved him. I know I'm a guy so I'm not supposed to say that, but I love Edgey and thinking I'd lost him, well that hurt like hell. But what does it matter? Because now I've lost him again to Germany and Franziska. I really expected him to have gotten sick of her and moved back here by now.
"You sure have a flare for the dramatic, Edgeworth."
"You know I'm sorry about that. You had made me realize so much of my life had been a lie. Surely, you can understand that, Wright?"
Right, Miles. You faking your death was my fault. How old are you, like two? I chuckle. At least I take responsibilities for my screw-ups.
Jessie has dealt the cards and I pick mine up. I've gotten lucky again and gotten a joker. That gives me great flexibility with my hand. Which is good news 'cause I've got nothin'.
"Wright, I'm sorry Iris-" Oh, I get it. He thinks Iris dumped me because I lost my badge.
"She didn't dump me, Edgeworth. I dumped her." Because I all of a sudden realized I didn't actually like her. I'm such a jerk. 'Hi, Honey, um, I decided you're annoying and not my type. Let's not get married after all.' Oh, I hate myself. Maya is going to be so pissed at me for doing that to her cousin…ugh! Why am I thinking about Maya again?
I hold onto the joker and discard all the other cards that aren't diamonds. I'm going to try for a flush. The worst that can happen is that I'll be left with nothing but a pair. The joker assures me that I've got that at the least.
"Wright, why are you adopting this little girl? What do you know about being a father?" I had a father. I took care of Pearly a lot. It's not like Trucy needs to be spoon-fed or have her diaper changed. I can do this.
"What? You don't think I can do it? You think I'm not stable enough? Look, it doesn't take an attorney's badge to take care of a kid. I helped Maya and Pearly. I can help Trucy."
"Phoenix, do you really think of Maya as just some kid?" No…I'm not sure. Don't pressure me Edgey!
"What do you mean? Ok. So we were closer than that for a while. She's…was like a sister to me."
Of course, Edgey can't understand this. Franny is more his archrival than a sister.
"Are you sure you aren't adopting this little girl to fill some kind of void in your life? When really what you should be doing is coming to terms with how you feel about Maya?"
Is he saying what I think he's saying? Like I want to be with Maya? Ok, I want to be with Maya, but not like that… right? I mean… me and Maya? Yeah right! I toss chips into the center of the table to place my bet. Edgey took only two cards which means he probably has three of a kind or he has a pair and is holding onto an ace or some other high card just to feel better about his hand.
"I don't have feelings for Maya and I resent your insinuation. Like I'm some kind of pervert." I mean there was never anything romantic there. We played games and went on picnics and watched the Steel Samurai ad nauseam and had food fights and ate burgers and… I miss her. God, I miss her. How did it happen that both Maya and Edgeworth left me at the same time?
"Wright, Maya's older now. It's ok to tell her how you feel." Yeah, that'd be a fun conversation. 'Hey, Maya. You know how you're like my sister? Well turns out I'm some kind of pervert because I'm finding myself wondering what it would be like to kiss you.' Yeah, that's a friendship ending conversation right there.
"You sound like Pearls." That should put him in his place and make him realize how ridiculous he is being. I bristle. I wish he would shut the hell up.
"I do not. I didn't use the words 'special someones'. Not even once."
Aw, Pearls. She's…er was something else. I miss her, but that's all over now.
"I merely think you need to reevaluate your motivations for adopting this young girl."
Oh, my God! He really things I'm some kind of pervert, like I want to groom a little girl to become… oh you are sick, Man! And I thought you were my friend!
I jump up. "Shut the hell up, Edgeworth!"
"Phoenix, I assure you I didn't mean it like that!"
Sure, you didn't! You come here to see me in misery after being disbarred and once you realize I'm no longer with the only person I have a chance of a normal, healthy relationship with, you insinuate that I have some kind of Lolita complex because I can't get Maya out of my head!
"Phoenix, I think it's nice what you're doing, but you don't need to cut off ties with everyone."
Yes, obviously I do, especially with you!
"I know it's painful but we don't care about what happened! We haven't given up on you."
"Well, you should." And who the hell is this 'we' he's talking about? This sounds like some kind of one person intervention. Bastard! I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with me. I'm not some perv and I can manage just fine without being a God damn lawyer. I'm not even sure why I became a lawyer in the first place!
"I don't understand. Tell me why! Why are you throwing away everything you've worked so hard for so you can adopt that girl? Do you think this is what Mia would want?"
Oh, no! You don't talk about Mia. Mia was my mentor. The memory of her is mine not yours to throw around lightly.
"Don't talk to me about the Chief! You didn't know… her like… I did."
I'm breaking down. I turn from him. I don't want him to see me like this. He can't see me like this. What right did he have to come here and do this to me? Why? Why'd he have to remind me of everything I've lost? Everything! Mia and him… and Maya and Pearls… and my life as an attorney…I have nothing…I'd have nothing…if not for Trucy. I have to keep going for her. She deserves someone to care about her and love her. She doesn't deserve getting shuffled from foster home to foster home and being with people who will break her spirit. I gotta be strong for her. I owe it to her and her dad. And apparently I'm going to have to do it alone.
I'm sobbing and trying to steady myself against the wall of the Hydeout. I feel overwhelmed. This is all too much for me.
"Get out of here!" I hear Edgeworth shout and I realize he's talking to Jessie. Thanks, Edgey. It's embarrassing enough that I'm breaking down in front of you.
I need a hug. I wish Maya were here. She would know that instinctually. She would make me feel better somehow. Instead, I've got Edgeworth and his accusations.
"Wright! You can adopt Trucy and still fight to get your badge back. I'll help you. Franziska and I-"
What is up with him talking about Franziska all the time? All it does is remind me that he skipped the country to go live in the lap of luxury with her. He left me!
I turn to him and ask him what's on my mind. My curiosity is so automatic I don't even wipe the tears from my eyes first.
"Since when are you so into Franny? She's a bitch-"
Edgeworth's fist slams into the side of my face.
What the fuck? He can't seriously be hitting me over saying that about his sister. Everybody says that about her. The judge says that about her for God's sake.
I look at Edgeworth. My friend, Miles, is looking at his own fist in horror. Once again he seems unwilling to accept responsibility for his actions. He's not saying sorry or anything. He's just standing there frozen and I'm too upset to wonder why I'm not hitting him back. I can't believe he just did that! How could he when I love him like I do?
"Edgeworth, get out. We're over."
Wow! I sound overly dramatic, too. Like we were lovers or something. What a laugh that would be! Me and Edgey! Ha!
Edgeworth turns to leave as I sniffle and I still have my hand on the spot where he hit me. But Edgeworth stops for some reason and then I hear, "Daddy?"
Trucy must be blocking the only way in or out of the Hydeout. I turn around and she comes running toward me. I smile. I hope she didn't just see that exchange between me and Edgey. I'm pretty sure that none of our behavior qualifies as 'setting a good example.' She looks a little fearful of Edgeworth so I guess she must have seen. Damn it. Instant parenthood is not the easiest thing in the world. I hold out my arms and she climbs into them and I lift her up so her eyes are on my level.
"How'd the show go, munchkin?"
"Pretty good. I made us some money. See?" With a flourish she displays a fan of bills. I hope all of them are real. We're hurting a little right now financially.
She grins proudly and says, "I'll call the power company and have them turn the lights back on."
Crud! I told her not to say stuff like that when the Department of Child Safety people are nosing around, but I didn't think to say anything about when my 'friends' come calling. I avoid Edgeworth's gaze. I'm sure he thinks I'm going to be an awful daddy. I probably will be, but at least Trucy will have one.
"Daddy, did you remember to call the landlord about us moving out of the upstairs apartment?" Oops, I didn't. We can't afford both the apartment and the office, so we're moving downstairs into the office and I'm converting the hall utility closet into a bedroom for myself.
"No. Sorry, sweetie, I forgot."
She shakes her head. "Daddy, am I going to have to do it?"
"No. I promise; I'll do it tomorrow. Ok?" Maybe I should have her write me a note. I've been so distracted lately I'm having a hard time remembering stuff.
She smiles. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here's a grape juice for you." A bottle of my favorite grape juice appears. I notice every time I have the urge to reach for liquor she provides me with a grape juice. I wonder if her Daddy drank. Maybe that's how she can tell…
It's a funny thing about Trucy. I already love her. I don't even regret having people misinterpret my motivations for adopting her. She needs someone to love her and I do. It mystifies me how her dad could just vanish from her life like that. Didn't he love her? I'll never understand people.
Trucy smiles at me and whispers in my ear, "Don't worry, Daddy. Everything will be ok." Then to my embarrassment, she adds, "Daddy, please, don't cry."
I swallow. Shit, she knows. She has caught me being weak. She's the one who has been abandoned. She's the child. She's the one who needs support. Yet, here I am so wrapped up in my own garbage that she's comforting me. It shouldn't be this way.
"Sorry, Trucy," I say.
"It's ok, Daddy. I love you," she says as she hops out of my arms and scurries off into the hall.
My crying has stopped now. I'm not sure I'm ok. I'm not sure I'm stable. I'm not sure how I feel about a lot of things, but I know this much, I have got to get my shit in order because that little angel is counting on me and so far all I've done is let her down.