Title: The Stud

Author: Rot-chan

Summary: As we know, Neji has beautiful silky, long hair. And his androgynous - ahem, stunning beauty will cause him anguish for the rest of his miserable life. Crack.

Note: OK...this is a really old, sort-of-AU one-shot I wrote when I thought about how pre-timeskip Hinata ever got such a weird haircut, and how Neji's rather feminine hair could cause issues for him. Hope you enjoy. I'm expecting everyone who reads this to think I'm bizarre. And where did I get the jeers from? REAL LIFE. Seriously. [lol]. Review? Not likely.

Neji, Hinata and Hiashi all walk down a very dirty, disgusting city street.

The three have just returned from the hair dresser's - and Hinata is bawling. Her long hair was "accidentally" chopped off by one of the new hair dresser's assistants, who seemed to prefer wearing indoor sunglasses, chewing huge wads of bubblegum that often fell out of their mouth, and didn't prefer to use "conventional scissors".

Hiashi bought Hinata a triple-scoop ice cream cone to make her feel better, but nothing is working. And Hiashi Hyuuga has never been the best at comforting his own family. That became evident when his wife asked if she gained weight just last week, and he replied in a very honest voice, "Yes, you have. Especially in your hips...and your ass."

The 12 year old girl is sniffling into her shirt sleeve, horrified at her bizarre, boyish haircut. Hiashi is awkwardly patting her on the back and secretly admiring his sexy self in all the store windows and every reflective surface he passes. And Neji is walking stiffly beside Hiashi, as Hinata is glowering at him every time she emerges from her snotty sleeve - because as we know, Neji has beautiful silky, straight-out-of-a-Prell-commercial long hair.

As the three continue down the street, suddenly someone calls: "Hey, girl!"

They freeze. The jeering continues as a dumpy car with its window rolled down slowly drives past.

"Yeah, babee, lemme see yo' sweet ass!" The teenage boys holler. Someone actually wolf whistles.

And no, they aren't calling to Hinata, who is walking on the other side of Hiashi - they're hitting on Neji.

"Damn - you fine, girl, you fine!" They laugh before speeding down the street.

Silence. Neji, twitching, tries to desperately save his withering masculinity -

And Hinata bursts out laughing.

[END]