Chapter One: Amy's Empire State of Mind

Amy Pond was annoyed. After the harrying ordeal that was the London Blitz AND murderous Daleks (as if one or the other wouldn't have been dangerous enough), the Doctor collapsed in exhaustion inside the TARDIS and asked her where she'd like to go next. Amy thought for a few moments, then responded:

"Well, you know how I said I was all right with the danger, just now? And saving the universe from vicious alien overlords and all that nonsense?"

"Yes. And there will be plenty more opportunities for doing that, in the past AND future, let me tell you."

"Well, before we decide to go and do…more of that, can we go to New York? Like, modern-day New York City?"

The Doctor wrinkled up his nose at her.

"New York? Now? We have all of time and space at our disposal, Amy!

He stood up in a giddy rush and began to gesticulate wildly as he paced through the TARDIS, nearly tripping over his own feet a few times.

"How about one of the Galiliean moons of Jupiter? Or some of the terraformed colony planets of the twenty-fourth-century? Or even sixteenth-century England, if you want to stay Earth-bound! You can witness a real beheading. Those are always exciting. Albeit quite messy if you're sitting too close."

"No thanks. Anyways, you forget, I haven't been all the way through the universe and back again. I hadn't even been out of Britain, when you showed up. You told me we could go anywhere I wanted, and I've always wanted to see New York. Just for a weekend! And then we can go slaughter mind-controlling aliens or whatever it is you normally do for leisure."

The Doctor couldn't help but grin widely at that, which lightened Amy's mood somewhat. His tempers could be fiery—she remembered when he exploded at her on Starship UK—but when he was cheerful he was possibly the most enjoyable company she'd ever had. Then she remembered Rory, and felt a little twinge on her heartstrings for leaving him for so long. She couldn't really compare Rory to the Doctor, though. Besides, Rory would never abandon her for twelve years…and then again! Still, the Doctor definitely had him beat in the excitement department. But they were completely different species, for goodness sakes! It's not Rory's fault he didn't have a police box that conveniently bent time and space!

Amy quieted her (only somewhat) guilty conscience long enough to hear the Doctor say:

"Fine. First New York City, then I'll take you someplace where you can really meet some mind-controlling aliens. You won't joke about them after that. Let me tell you, they're not the kind you'd want to sip umbrella drinks on the beach with."

Amy had a brief mental image of the Doctor in his full tweed jacket, bow tie, and professorial pants, sipping a tropical drink on a lounge chair on a sunny beach with sunscreen on his nose and a green bikini-clad alien at his side. It was too much to handle. She dissolved in laughter. The Doctor stared at her, confused at first, before finally laughing awkwardly along with her, despite not knowing the joke.

Unfortunately, that good mood didn't last for long.

First, the Doctor flew around for hours looking for a parking spot for the TARDIS ("New York City parking—nightmare today, nightmare three hundred years from now, nightmare always") before settling on a corner of woods way out in the middle of the Bronx. Upon emerging from the trees, it wasn't bright lights and glamorous people, but graffiti-covered slums and dirty gutters, which provided Amy's first impressions of the Big Apple. It wasn't an area of the city Amy would have liked to get lost in with a group, let alone only accompanied by the Doctor with his silly floppy hair and elbow patches. At one point, while rambling on about the poor security of parking garages, he accidentally bumped into a gigantic troll of a gangster and stepped on the man's expensive sneakers, He only scuffed them mildly, but the terrifying oaf growled throatily at him as though he was the rudest man in the galaxy. The Doctor, not understanding his meaning, simply leaned uncomfortably close to the man's face and wrinkled his brow at him.

"Speak up, sir, I can't quite hear you."

He then waved the sonic screwdriver under the man's nose, before turning to Amy. "He's clearly human, but for some reason lacking in normal speech patterns. I don't understand why."

Amy dragged him away before the angry man could respond. The Doctor might be the cleverest creature in this galaxy and the next, capable of saving the Earth from murderous alien species, but he wasn't exactly the most menacing bodyguard as he meandered through the streets, barely acknowledging changing traffic lights. Not that Amy really needed any sort of bodyguard, but still…

Upon attempting to board the subway into Manhattan the Doctor was nearly arrested for swiping that insane screwdriver instead of a fare card. Amy was sure they were going to be thrown in some high-security terrorist prison, and whom would she call to get her out? She knew what year they were in, but not the exact date, so she had no idea if she was married or not. Depending on that, calling Rory to bail her from an American prison would either be mildly awkward or mortifyingly awkward, but awkward either way.

Fortunately, the portly and mustachioed security guard who noticed the glowing blue pen-like device being used to illegally board the train was unable to wedge himself out of the tiny security booth in time to catch them, and settled for just yelling, "HEY! HEY YOU IN THE SUSPENDERS! WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, THAT'S ILLEGAL!"

The Doctor dashed along the platform on his gangly legs and whispered to Amy, "Suspenders are braces, in case you didn't know." Amy rolled her eyes as they ducked between the closing train doors, safe and sound.

And so, with much more effort than Amy had thought would have been necessary, and a lot less fanfare, they arrived in Times Square. Amy looked up at the skyscrapers, absorbed the neon lights flashing, heard taxi horns blaring…and was nearly knocked over by some fast-moving pedestrians who were too busy talking on cell phones to notice her. Amy was delighted. THIS was exactly what she thought New York should have been like. There were more people on this square block than in her entire village.

She drank it in…for all of five minutes. Then the Doctor had decided he was hungry. Again. And so now they'd spent the last hour in a grungy American tourist-trap version of a British fish and chip shop, while she picked at some greasy chips and the Doctor downed order after order of reeking fish sticks that he dipped in the Tesco custard cups he had taken to carrying in his coat pockets for convenience.

Amy sighed. She had assumed that in a city generally considered to be the center of the world, exciting and possibly even historical moments would be occurring every minute. She found herself longing for those mind-controlling aliens…or at least some shopping on Fifth Avenue. Anything but this smelly shop full of silly children who couldn't chew with their mouths closed—the Doctor included.

The Doctor noticed her dissatisfaction and looked up, mouth full of disgusting fish custard.

'What ish it, Ahmy? I brot 'oo to New Yok, 'idn't I?"

He swallowed his food and looked at her with wide, earnest eyes. Amy didn't let herself be suckered in. She let him have it.

"Yes, Doctor. After an unnecessarily dangerous trip from the furthest corner of the city, you brought me to a grimy fish and chip shop, which we could have easily done back home in Leadworth and for much less money! I want to actually DO something now! Like, go up the Empire State Building--

"Overrated. The view from the capital building on Xenon Seven is much more impressive—"

"Or walk through Central Park—"

"The criminals that hang out there are as hostile as Daleks. Well, that's not quite true—"

"Or at least get something nice at Bloomingdales—

'Shopping! You come to America and you want to go shopping?! Typical humans. You can shop anywhere, you know. You can shop on the moon, for goodness sakes. Well, in a couple of centuries, anyways."

Amy crossed her arms and slouched grouchily in her seat, fully aware she was acting like a little girl, but since the Doctor had known her as a little girl that this should be nothing new for him.

"Doctor. You're nine hundred years older than me, correct?

"Hmm, approximately, yes."

"Then stop making me act like your mum! Finish your nasty food so we can get out of here. Or you'll go straight to the TARDIS and bed."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her and shoved the entire half a dozen fish sticks left in his paper tray in his mouth at once. He crossed his arms and slouched in perfect imitation of Amy. A stare-down commenced…but was interrupted when a little boy at the table next door began to giggle.

"Mommy, look! I want to dip my fish sticks in pudding too!"

"No sweetie, that's gross. It's rude to mix strange foods in public places, and it's rude to stick that much food in your mouth at once too. Don't look at him."

Amy snorted with laughter. So did the Doctor, though the fish sticks in his mouth made it a little more difficult. So instead he rapidly gnawed and chewed at them like a beaver tearing down branches, much to the delight of the boy and the disgust of his mother.

As the Doctor and Amy stepped back out into the multitudes of people and vehicles hurrying through Times Square, Amy had just one request:

"Please, let's go somewhere nicer for dinner."

"We could go back to Leadworth and have tea with your aunt."

"No thanks."

The Doctor grinned…then his smile faded. His eyes were focused intently on something far ahead of him.

"Doctor, what is it?" Amy's voice trailed off as she followed his gaze…over to a pair of green tentacle monsters bobbing up and down on the next corner. One was much shorter than the other and had linked tentacles with it as they bobbed down the street. The Doctor whipped out the sonic screwdriver and, holding it aloft to protect to from potential muggers, dashed through traffic towards the suspicious creatures. Amy darted after him.

The crowds in Times Square were so dense that Amy could barely keep track of the Doctor's head bouncing up and down above the mostly-shorter people that kept crossing in front of her as she zigzagged through. As she reached the end of the block, the lights changed and an enormous double-decker tour bus blocked her view entirely. Amy blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and shifted from one leg to the other, trying to find an alternate means of making it across the street. She looked up at news stream that scanned along the wall of one building, and noticed the date:

October 31st.

The first thing Amy realized was that this was after her hypothetical wedding, so keeping out of touch with anyone remotely connected to home would be a good idea…though fairly easy, as people from Leadworth hardly ever went further than Gloucester, or occasionally Cheltenham if they were feeling really adventurous. So unless they ended up on the global news, she should be safe.

The second thing Amy realized only hit her after she noticed a person pass her dressed as Dorothy, accompanied by a Scarecrow and a Tin Man. Across the street, a vampire checked his watch. A really poor Sherlock Holmes costume caught her eye, mainly because from far away he could have been mistaken for the Doctor. It was still relatively early in the afternoon, so there weren't too many people in costumes yet…nonetheless, Amy had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

The light changed and Amy ran as fast as her legs could carry her, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Doctor! Doctor! It's Halloween! It's a costume! It's only a Halloween costume!"

Amy screeched to a stop as she finally came to an open space in the sidewalk…only to find the Doctor helping up a small crying boy, dressed as a green octopus, with a skinned knee. Several bystanders milled about, shooting horrified glasses at the tweed-clad man who had apparently ran straight into the boy and knocked him to the pavement, then waved a glowing silver wand at his head before realizing what he had done.

"Sorry, sorry, didn't realize it was a costume, thought you were someone I knew…"

The boy's father, also dressed as an octopus, pulled the boy into his arms and gave the Doctor one last threatening glance before hustling his (still bawling) son away. The Doctor looked at Amy innocently.

"He looked quite suspicious, from far away."

"I'm sure he did."

"I didn't realize it was Halloween."

"So I've noticed."

"It was quite a realistic costume, though, for someone who has probably never laid eyes on a giant green squid from the dark side of Venetia Five."

"I'm sure it was."

The two of them stood on the corner awkwardly before the Doctor clapped his hands.

"Want to climb the Empire State Building, then?"

"Sounds good."

The Doctor hailed a cab with the hand holding the sonic screwdriver. Amy noticed that the device also seemed to have the magical capability of getting a cabbie to zoom up immediately to them, skipping various other disgruntled customers. Amy nodded, pleased. Random, but nice.

They hopped in. The Doctor wasted no time in giving their destination.

"Empire State Building. As snappy as you can."

The taxi driver turned around. His skin was an unnatural sallow green. He smiled a menacing smile and removed his sunglasses. His eye sockets were black and hollow behind them. The sonic screwdriver began whirring and glowing like it had gone mad. A hissing voice came from the taxi-driving creature's mouth.

"Well, you must be the famous Doctor."

The Doctor's eyes widened…just as a long, lizard-like tongue snapped out of the driver's mouth and through the money slot in the Plexiglas barrier, snatching the screwdriver out of the Doctor's hands. The Doctor's response didn't seem to be quite appropriate:

"Well, I don't know who you are, but that was rude."

Amy was overwhelmed with a plethora of feelings right then: tired, confused, scared…she didn't know what else to do. She screamed.