Welcome to my first Persona project! It will hold unification between the worlds of Persona 3 and Persona 4. This particular fic was inspired by several Persona fics, which featured humurous Yosuke/Souji smut-and rapid yaoi fangirls. XD Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy what I hope will be a peek into the future!

Notes: I don't own a bit of the featured material. If I owned the world of Persona, every guy would-well, my wishes are much too naughty for this site.

AHEM. NO LIKEY BOY/BOY COUPLES? NO READY TIME FOR YOU. Let me repeat that. If you're not a fan of YAOI, or BOY/BOY COUPLES, turn back me pirates.

Last note: Saotome is an original character.

It was hard, living as a dinosaur in a human's body.

He was always hungry, morning, noon and night. Even as the world caved in around him, he found himself dehydrated, weak and desperate. Of course he concealed all of his ailments, but as time went on, keeping a pack of secrets became difficult. Hiding himself was akin to erasing an entire galaxy.

While he struggled with the appetite of a T-Rex, the world crumbled. The sole source of his never-ending hunger was ripped out of his life, stolen by a predator that knew nothing of mercy. The diamond of his heart was forced into captivity, pushed into a situation he would have killed himself over. His diamond actually attempted to take his own life, but an intervention was initiated by many friends. It was always wonderful to have friends in high places.

The last couple of weeks were unbearable. While images of invigorating penetration soaked his mind, he wrestled with the possibility of losing the very source of his problems. He couldn't breathe without having Yosuke's face plastered in his mind, moist and dripping with sweat.

Unfortunately, Yosuke couldn't breathe at all. His body, having been ravaged by his captor more times than he could count, was overwhelmed with a desire for one thing, and one thing only: eternal slumber. Simply put, the one thing he wished for was death. He was determined to keep Yosuke's wish from coming true, though. He swore to the world he'd save Yosuke, at any cost.

Ah. His life had been such a ferocious blur. The apple of his eye was a jerk to everyone else, but opened up to him. Rise, Chidori, Yukari, Junpei and even Fuuka were allergic to him, none too fond of his arrogant demeanor. Yosuke dismissed their reactions without a care in the world, pretending to be nonchalant about the absence of love in his life. While the lone wolf was adamant about holding the others at bay, though, he was rather docile towards his lone source of comfort. He, Minato Arisato, happened to be that source of comfort. He happened to be Yosuke's only source of happiness. His only source of sanity.

Of course, all of that was prior to Yosuke's enslavement. Once he was whipped off the face of the earth, everything changed-and all for the better. The lone wolf became a part of the pack, beloved and cherished by all around him. Fuuka could never stop crying over him, once he returned. Chie couldn't stop punching him, wondering how he could have allowed himself to be kidnapped. Yukari couldn't stop fussing over him, taking her place in his heart as a mother figure-the mother he had never been able to love, let alone know. The ex-lone wolf, all the while, edged closer to Minato Arisato. Prior to his kidnapping, he would have turned down any guy (including Minato) flat. Despite the Arisato's warmth, kindness and curiosity, he wouldn't have gotten anywhere. Yosuke would have dropped him like a dead fish. Not only was he allergic to love, but he was also allergic to the idea of two men loving one another. His homophobic status confused several people, but in his eyes, love was just dirty. Useless. Meaningless. A complete waste of time. And it was even more corrupt when two men shared it.

Those beliefs experienced a complete turn-around.

Escaping a close brush with death would have changed Yosuke's beliefs any day.

Minato's soul was delighted to know of Yosuke's trust. He couldn't have been happier to learn of Yosuke's dreams, to see his smiles, and hear his unbelievably beautiful laughter.

Meanwhile, his stomach was delighted to hold images of a hot, sweaty, whimpering Yosuke, moaning for more, so close to bursting, exploding-

Ah well. With Saotome Ariachi under lock-and-key, he could spend more time on fantasies normally associated with a yaoi fangirl. Sharing his problems with Yukari, Fuuka and Chie might have helped things, but then again, they probably would have driven stakes through his heart. They had to be the most rapid yaoi fangirls in all of Japan. Yukari was even planning on taking over Japan's yaoi capital, Ikebukuro.

"Yeah! One day I'll rule over Ikebukuro as its first queen, and no one will stand in my way! All of the world will learn of how wonderful it is to watch two gorgeous guys bathe each other in sweat! Ha ha ha ha-"

Yes, she was a maniac. Her maniacal demeanor didn't emerge until Yosuke was back in the custody of friends, but it emerged all right, and wow was it amazing. After declaring war on Ikebukuro, and making her wish for a coronation clear, she must've continued to laugh for at least five minutes. And of coures, Fuuka and Chie did nothing to stop her.

They were the Queen's loyal subjects (or Scouts, as Yukari liked to call them).

Ah. Life was thrilling, and ridiculously wild at the same time. His Persona was silent most of the time, but snickered whenever he had to confront the results of his fantasies. How could a Persona not laugh at their owner's misery, when he managed to wake up drenched in things other than sweat?

Oh well. At least he didn't have to deal with Fuuka's ideal love drama. If it had been up to her, Yosuke would have fallen in love with Saotome, and would have been forced to waver between two lovers.

Soft music was drifting out of a stereo system, dancing throughout the cafe. The sweet fragrances of coffee, basalmic vinegar and bread were wafting through the air, attracting all manner of customers. Children of all ages had gathered near the cafe's entrance, trying to pluck something out of the large menu. Entrepreneurs and students were on their laptops and phones, sipping away on cups of coffee, tea and cocoa. Cashiers happily took the orders of customers, customers rushed to their seats, and all was well. He was alone, sitting at a table meant for two. There weren't many lone rangers in the cafe, but he wouldn't be a lone ranger for long.

He was Minato Arisato, and he was waiting for someone. With silken sapphire tresses, a porcelain face and fierce eyes, he was a prime target for ravenous vultures, but he'd fight them off easily. He had enough practice in the art of predator slaying, and wouldn't have any problem kicking someone's ass in the cafe. His PDA sat on the table before him, glowing while awaiting orders. There weren't any orders to be given, though. Everything was peaceful. Everything was peachy keen. Everything was-

Dripping. Covered in sweat and cream. Harder than-

"Hey! What're you doing spacing out?"

There he was, dressed head to toe in black. His shade of black was so elegant, it had to be obsidian. His golden brown locks were perfectly placed, able to move in synch with life's golden winds. He always had a somewhat sleepy, nonchalant expression about his face, but whenever he looked at his Prince Charming, something else was present in those eyes of his. He was there, alive, well, perfectly happy and-

Well, beautiful.

Amused by Minato's silence, Yosuke took a seat. His smile lit up the world. It was as if Saotome had never done anything to him. Perhaps Minato (whom Yosuke affectionately called 'Mina') had healed him by never leaving his bedside, or comforting him whenever Saotome returned in nightmares. Perhaps Yosuke was just stronger than he gave himself credit for, and much braver. Perhaps Yosuke was just-

Perfect.

"Ordered anything yet?"

The thin, blue-haired male shook his head, emerging from a reverie. "No," he said breathlessly. "I was waiting for you. Find anything in that book they call a 'menu'?"

The brown-haired male grimaced, looking very much like a disgusted cat. "Since we're in the business of waiting, I thought I'd wait for you. We can pick needles out of the haystack together. Great place though, huh?"

"Yeah," the Arisato said, staring at the other's collarbone. "Perfect day for the cafe, too. It's a bit chilly outside."

Smiling, Yosuke peered outside. Gales were rushing through treetops, silver clouds were holding a conference, and umbrellas were being used a fortresses. A rainstorm might have been brewing, but it wasn't any of Minato's concern. His only concern was the brightness of Yosuke's collarbone, the curves of his collarbone, his neck-

The other male noticed Minato's gaze, and blushed. The Arisato's heartbeat must've increased by leaps and bounds. He felt comfortable around his 'Mina'. He was happy around his Mina. Happy, peaceful, adorable-

"I didn't think she'd suggest anything like this," the personification of beauty said, eyes darting through the cafe. He was akin to a puppy, unable to remain still for more than five seconds. And the suggestion was made on Yukari's end. "I mean, she's usually a fan of the upbeat, hip places. This place is just a place to hang out. Know what I mean?"

Minato couldn't suppress a playful smirk. "She gave this place to us," he said, making a harmless decision to ixnay on the warm appreciation. His mind, all the while, held the words: to her, this was the perfect place to makeout. Of course she'd send us here. This place screams 'relaxation', which leads to-

The birth of every yaoi fangirl's fantasy: steamy, rock-hard-

"By the way," the Arisato said hastily, fanning himself. His brown-haired diamond eyed him curiously, wondering where the surge of heat had come from. Of course, there wasn't any heat. "How did your rehearsal go? I'm sure it was drop-dead amazing."

"I was surprised at how well it went," Yosuke said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Didn't think I'd sing so well. Of course a lot of the guys are gonna make fun of me, but who gives a shit, right?"

"Exactly," the Arisato said, his mind flipping through a book of recent events. Who could seriously give a shit, after the torment Yosuke had been through? The diamond had been hand-cuffed, whipped, spanked and torn apart on a daily basis. The spanking wasn't sexy, either. It was difficult to tell which was worse: the spanking or the whipping. "I'm glad you've started your singing career. I think you've got a beautiful voice. Would have been a shame to let it go to waste."

"Thanks. Nothing would have happened if it hadn't been for you."

Neither of them said a word for a century. Minato pretended to be interested in a nearby menu, while Yosuke tapped his fingers on the beige table. In his world, only a few moments passed before impatience spread across his face. "Mina-kun?" he asked, catching Minato off guard. The blue-haired male almost fell out of his chair, surprised by the usage of a nickname.

Wait. It wasn't a nickname. It was a pet name. It was the perfect pet name. Yosuke had said it with the eyes of a puppy, his naked body glistening in the heat of moonlight-

"I'm tired of beating around the bush. There's a lot I have to say."

"Of course you do," Minato growled, inwardly cursing his dinosaur's appetite. Images wouldn't stop flowing through his mind. All of them were of a whimpering, affectionate Yosuke, snuggling up against his sopping wet body, pleading for more, eyes begging for more-

"This is why the Queen and her servants set all of this up! You have a lot to say, and I'm sitting here, forced to look at you while dealing with a stiffy!"

Fuuka, Yukari and Chie must've been watching. The entire cafe was, alarmed by his last word in particular. "That's right," the Arisato snarled, shooting out of his seat like a rocket. "I'm dealing with a stiffy, and I'll let the whole world know! I'm sitting here, staring at the world's most amazing, beautiful guy, and I'm expected to have a cup of coffee, after rescuing him from the big bad dragon?! He barely escapes the jaws of death, and I'm supposed to sit here and have tea and crumpets with him?! Well that's bullshit!"

"Someone's frustrated," a burly, scruffy man murmured to someone that must've been his daughter, niece or other family member. The little maiden at his table smiled, eyes beaming with mischief. "It's call 'being in love'," the little girl purred, eyes beaming.

Yosuke's eyes had the power to cause a cavity epidemic. Minato's eyes pierced his, his own eyes filled with fire that could never be measured. "I didn't come to hear to chat about how pretty this place is, or how amazing the rain is," he went on, and even caused the music to shut off. The cafe's secondary song happened to be the song of rain, and the gentle song of candlelight. "I love you, Yosuke, and I'm not afraid to say it! I worried over you, day and night, wondering if you'd be all right, coming from that bastard Saotome! I thought of a million different ways to kill Saotome, over what he did to you! Yes, I'm glad you're singing! I'm glad the world gets to hear your voice, but that's not what I'm hear to talk about! I want you to know I love you, and I'm going to make love to you, right here and now!"

A cloud of 'yeah's hit the air as thunderbolts, coming from a collection of obvious fangirls and men. Cafe employees and customers alike were applauding, cheering, whistling at the top of their lungs. Several customers whipped out their cell phones. "I want you to know I want you, Mina-kun," Yosuke said in a way that forced Minato to pin him down. Their table toppled over, Yosuke's back struck the ground-

"Never felt this way about anyone before, let alone a guy, but...you're amazing, Mina-kun. You brought me back to life. You saved me."

"I can't wait anymore, Yosu-chan," a deep, warm voice purred. "I'm done with waiting. I want you, right here and now."

"Our first operation's a success," a queen said, overflowing with rapture. Her camcorder sat on a table, recording every moment of her dreams. She straightened her wig, which completely concealed her short, curled brown tresses. "They're definitely getting it on, right here in the Pandora Cafe! This is too good to be true!"

A Scout's pink wig fell off, but she quickly retrieved it. "I'm still in charge of uploading this, right?"

"Sure are, Fuuka! Meanwhile, I'll keep myself busy with the fanart."

"Yuka, you're a genius," a sultry lionness purred, folding her arms upon the table. "We could become millionaires off of this, you know. Those two are smokin' hot."

"I'll have to think about it. Meanwhile, I'm still too busy drooling! Wow, look at 'em go!"

"Ssssh! Talk too loudly and you'll give us away!"

"I bet Arisato already knows we're here, anyway," Rise whispered in Fuuka's ear, while Yukari plunged into her characteristic, maniacal laughter. If 'Mina-kun' hadn't been busy at the moment, she and her friends would have been caught right then and there. "He's not dumb. I wouldn't put it past him."

"Next we'll lure them into the park, and act as if we've got to save the world," a redhead shrieked, standing on top of her table. "We'll emerge from this victorious, fellow Scouts! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

"Should we take her to Yaoi Con?" Fuuka whispered into Rise's ear. Rise snickered, then shook her head.

"Should you let a cat into a bird sanctuary? I think not. If it were up to her, the con would be turned into an orgy."

"Too bad Chie isn't here to see this."

"Don't mourn over her too much. The video will be her miracle cure. Once she watches it, her flu will be a thing of the past."