A/N: So I noticed that in almost every mpreg fanfiction (for South Park at least) it resulted with everyone shitting rainbows of joy for some major character couple.

So here's some hate mixed with a bit of realistic reaction.

Because I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure I would vomit from disbelief if I found out I was pregnant.

Anyway. Enjoy~

---

"Mister Broflovski, this is your third visit in the last two days."

"I know."

"You realize that and yet you still come?"

"Look, Doctor Louis-"

"Kyle, I told you this yesterday, and I told you again this morning. And I'm going to tell you now. I don't know how it's possible either, but it's true."

Kyle stared at the gentleman in front of him for a longer, more extensive period of time. He tapped his foot on the floor more fluidly and quickly as the seconds passed before he was pretty sure he was denting the floor. Regardless, he sat with his family doctor in an awkward silence, scratching at the tip of his nose before staring back at the man in the coat.

"You're serious."

"I'm dead serious. Do you want me to show you the pictures again from this morning?"

"No. I might vomit. Again. You can not - no. This just... no. No, no, no!" The redhead rose his hands above his head, praising some unseen entity beyond the ceiling with his spread palms before he thudded back against the wall, unfeeling to any pain in the back of his head as he continued to sit on the office bed and stare up at the ceiling. He let go of a slow breath before staring at a wall. After a long moment of silence, he sat up again and stared at Dr Louis with a deadened expression.

"Get it out."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, get it out. Abort it! You're a god damned doctor!"

The dark-haired gentleman adjusted his glasses before a slow laugh escaped him. "Kyle you have no liable passage to remove a child from, you're a boy."

"So you're SEEING the ridiculousness of this situation! I want the god damned thing out of me! Get me the number to a clinic!" the Jewish boy shrieked, standing up now with his hands in the air. "I'm not - there is NO possible - I'm not a girl! I'm NOT a girl! I have a dick and my BOYFRIEND sucks it every night, dude! I'm a GAY MAN. There's is NO BIOLOGICAL WAY that this is happening. So if this is as fucking real as you say, you will get me my abortion, and good lord, I will go through with it!"

The doctor flipped his board casually and sighed, recovering the photographed ultrasounds from the previous day and setting them up on the light board on the wall. Flicking it on impatiently, he pointed to the growth at Kyle's core with risen eyebrows with his pen.

"Kyle, this is where your... your child is situated. As you can see, it is a sac in the centre of your system embedded within your other organs and the like. There is no vagina. No ovaries, no nothing. Not even a passage leading from your anus to the sac. How it got there is entirely out of my mind, but it's there, and being that it is generally necessary for you to have a vagina for a termination of a pregnancy, it would be impossible. I would not even attempt to suggest a medical, prescribed abortion to you because there has never been an incident like this before. For all we know the dosage could simply kill you."

Kyle stared at the man in front of him, before staring down at his stomach. He looked back up at the picture again, sullen-faced, and then towards Doctor Louis for the hundredth time.

"Do another ultrasound. I don't fucking believe you. This is sabotage, or something. Do an ultrasound again."

The doctor stared at the fiery Jewish teenager in front of him before shaking his head and scribing Kyle down for another scheduled appointment with his eyebrows jotted into the air.