*typos corrected

Clack, Clack…

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack Clack.

Johnny hen-pecked studiously on the typewriter. Four piles of papers were stacked neatly nearby on the desk next to the typewriter. He'd gotten a lot done today.

"Still at it?" Roy asked, coming into the den. Johnny had helped him with most of the outdoor work before he had asked to use the typewriter. Roy looked curiously at the piles laid out carefully on the desk. "What are you working on?"

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack. Clack.

"I'm writing a story from my memoirs."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack Clack.

"Memoirs? About being a paramedic?"

"No…something...different."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack. Clack.

Roy stepped up closer to the desk. "Why are there four piles?"

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

"I want to reach a wider audience. I'm playing with the ratings."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

"Ratings?"

Clack, clack.

Johnny stopped his hen-pecking and looked up at his partner. "Yeah, you know…ratings! Like the kind they have for movies."

Roy nodded and looked at the first pile. It had only ONE page.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

"What's this pile?"

Johnny sighed, "That's the story rated for Children."

CLACK. Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy picked up the paper and started reading. "Roderick and Mary hid in the bushes of the city park. When the coast was clear, they made a run for it." Roy voice petered out.

"Johnny, this is boring."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack…Johnny didn't stop typing. "I'm not done with it yet. I'm going to add the description of the park, the trees...and lots of color references. Kids like colors."

Roy set the paper down and picked up the second pile. It had TWO sheets of paper. "And this pile?" he asked holding the two pages under Johnny's nose.

The clacking stopped. "That's the story rated for Teenagers," he answered, pushing Roy's hand away.

Roy started reading. "Roderick and Mary hid in the bushes of the city park. They were afraid of being caught by a passing policeman. When the coast was clear, they made a run for it."

He looked up from the papers. "Johnny, this is boring too!"

"Be more honest, why don't ya, partner," Johnny said under his breath. He shrugged.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack…He finished typing a sentence.

"I'm not done with that yet either," he said, pausing his typing. "Not only am I going to add more colors and more description, I'm also going to add some suspense...you know, people passing by, maybe the police cruiser drives by…and some conflict. Teenagers love conflict," he added.

"Uh-huh. Conflict," Roy echoed. He didn't think conflict was going to help THIS story very much.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy slapped the pile down and picked up the third pile. It had at least ten pages.

"This pile?"

"Mature Audiences."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy scanned the introduction and headed down the page. "Roderick and Mary hid in the bushes of the city park. When they didn't hear anyone, they began kissing, fondling each other. Roderick frenched Mary. He pressed against her, holding her close. Knowing they would only get into trouble, and, being afraid of getting caught by a passing policeman, Roderick whispered to Mary..."let's go to my place." They straightened their clothes. When the coast was clear, they made a run for it."

Roy's face turned a little red as he finished reading the pages silently. "This is a little better."

The clacking stopped again.

Johnny smiled. "Yep. I'm going to add more colors, sounds, some suspense, conflict, romance… and explain in a little more...vague...detail what me...um...Roderick and Mary did when they got back to the apartment."

He watched Roy put down the third pile and pick up the fourth, and largest, pile.

"This one's pretty thick." It looked like it had over fifty pages.

"That's for Adults Only. You may not want to read that. I think your speed is the Mature Audiences story."

"In case you haven't noticed, partner, I AM an adult." Roy made a production out of taking the pile. Grabbing a chair, he plonked himself down and stretched his legs out in front of him. The least he could do for his partner was review the story. "There's nothing that you could write that would surprise me."

Johnny shrugged. "Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy started reading silently. When he got to the similar part where Roderick and Mary hid in the bushes, he cleared his throat, glanced at Johnny, and then started reading out loud.

"When he saw the patch of bushes, Roderick knew he had to take a chance. Quickly pulling Mary behind him, he dashed inside, delighted to find they were completely concealed from prying eyes. Mary had been teasing him all day. It was time for a little payback." Roy raised his eyebrows but kept reading.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

"Turning, he pulled Mary towards him, the hand in the small of her back pulling her hips closer to him. He dropped his head and gently licked her bottom lip, then took it in his mouth and sucked at it lightly." Roy's face turned red but he continued reading.

"She groaned softly and darted her tongue out to meet his. Roderick took that as his signal. His lips connected with hers. He thrust…" Roy's voice became hoarse, "he thrust his tongue into her mouth and tasted the very essence of her. His hand came up and slipped under her…"

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Johnny smiled when Roy started reading silently.

Roy's eyes widened. He squirmed. His eyes fell over the words…

'He thrust his fingers inside of…'

He glanced up at Johnny, glad his partner wasn't watching him.

This stuff was…hot!

Ten minutes later and ten pages into the story, Roy closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Feeling a little…uncomfortable, he excused himself.

Johnny grinned.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Ten minutes later, Roy returned, much more…relaxed, and headed straight for the fourth pile. He had marked his place. Sitting back down, he started reading again. After a few paragraphs, his eyes opened wide. "I didn't know you could do it that way!" he blurted out, his voice high and hoarse. He looked at Johnny, who merely grinned again.

"Do what, Roy?" Johnny's grin widened when Roy flushed.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

A few minutes later, Roy began to squirm again.

'Flipping her over he plunged…'

His eyes flew across the page, silently reading line after line. His face turned a darker red. His body grew hot and uncomfortable. Excusing himself, he left again.

Johnny chuckled to himself. Roy must like the story.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

This time, it took Roy twenty minutes to return. Johnny glanced up and paused. Roy's hair was wet. Johnny raised his eyebrows.

Roy avoided Johnny's look. "The yard work. I needed a shower." He said awkwardly.

Johnny laughed. "Sure Pally. Like the story?"

Roy colored. "Um, yeah…it's okay." His rush to the fourth pile canceled out his blasé review. "I'm going to try to finish it before Joanne and the kids get back." Grabbing the fourth pile, Roy started reading again silently, his eyes flashing through line after line, page after page after page.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Johnny heard Roy gasp.

He grinned.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Roy squirm in the chair.

His grin widened.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy turned a few more pages.

He gasped again.

Johnny's shoulder's started shaking.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack….

Roy groaned.

Johnny convulsed at the typewriter.

He burst into laughter.

Slapping the pages down, Roy rushed from the room.

Johnny roared.

His stomach started to hurt.

Tears of mirth seeped out of his eyes and crept down his cheeks.

"Hey, Roy?" he yelled after his partner, "You're gonna go blind!"

Still grinning, Johnny wiped his eyes and turned his attention back to the typewriter.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack-clack Clack...

The end.