Welcome to my first celebration of 2010! If you're familiar with me, I apologize for my extended absence. You can blame my non-existent Internet service.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this material, aside from the summary of this story.

Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO BOY/BOY COUPLES, FLUFF, OR AN EMOTIONAL OLD SNAKE. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO THE MERE CONCEPT OF A GAY SNAKE. THANK YOU.

There wasn't peace. There could never be peace.

His only source of peace was gone. Peace had flown out of his hands, soaring away as an eagle on a storm's gale. It had fallen away, swept out of his life by an uncontrollable demon. Peace was nowhere to be found, and without peace, there wasn't any oxygen. He couldn't breathe, could hardly blink, and couldn't fathom the thought of standing alone.

Whenever he drew breathe, daggers pierced the insides of his throat. Hands gripped his heart and stomach, squeezing the life out of both. Blood rose to the surface of his eyes, creating a gloss of deepest despair. Peace wasn't anywhere to be found, so he'd drown. He'd drown underneath the blackest despair, the deepest anguish, and the fiercest rage. Rage was the result of lost dreams, anguish was the result of death, and despair was the result of complete loss. The complete, overwhelming loss of humanity.

He was no longer human. He once believed himself to be a beast, living in the shell of human flesh, but life changed. Life swept him away, changed him, brought him to euphoria. Life came in the form of a beautiful young entity, one that hailed from a different world. The entity opened him, cleansed him, healed him of the pain he believed to be immortal.

But the entity was gone. His savior, his dream, his life was gone.

Everything had been taken away from him. Happiness, hope, anticipation...they were all mirages, dreams of a blissful past. He had been lost inside of a child's dream, and was now living the bleak life of a pain-stricken adult.

The nightmares returned. Joy was no longer a part of his life, and so the nightmares rushed back in. The visions of his merciless brother sought to destroy him, wreaking havoc on a soul that couldn't find peace. The Devil's invincible hands tore him apart, laughing as he cried out his life's name. Tranquility was a treasured gem of the past, replaced by the darkest fear.

The magic, the light, the radiance of his life was gone. His prince had been at his side for weeks on end, working to erase every last bit of his pain. Solace cleansed him everytime pain riddled his body. Happiness healed him everytime Liquid threatened to kill him. Euphoria uplifted him everytime his mind wandered to thoughts of lush blue hair, sharp brown eyes and a chiseled body. The seizures, spasms, nightmares and Hell were all dealt with, handled with unparalleled skill.

But now his savior, his anchor, was gone. And eternity had stolen that light out of his life.

The bond was inexplicable. Unspeakable in the most beautiful ways. He still couldn't fathom why-or how-their bond had even been created. God's angels would never consort with the Devil's minions, lambs would never consort with wolves, and he shouldn't have been allowed to fall into a prince's arms. By lusting after a flawless sovereign, he broke morality's heaviest rules. By craving the touch of pristine, dewy skin, he crushed all that was holy.

When his air dwelled inside of his body, he regretted every moment of his existence. He lived a blasphemous life, staining the heart and body of a beloved sovereign. He hated every moment of his dream, but he needed that dream. Craved it, longed for it, even when his dream was near. And now that his dream was gone, he would kill himself to revive it.

For the restoration of his prince, he would die a million times over.

The Nomad was no longer a bed of warmth. Cold and clammy, every inch of the aircraft was inhospitable. Once a world of memories, it was now just a world of icy, busy computer systems. Systems hummed as words were shared, and hearts throbbed against chests. The air was heavy as thoughts were given voices, inhospitable to every kind of human.

He sat on his bed, wearing a neck-high sweater and ivory white cardigans. His last source of comfort had on similiar garments, with the only difference being the color of his sweater. "Every region's been consumed," the younger male said, manuevering a hand-held laptop. His crisp, clear pronunciation of words betrayed the heavy burdens of his heart. "At this rate, the entire world will be slathered in darkness at dawn."

"What about the others?" he asked, running a hand over his wrinkled face. At one point in his life, he believed his voice to be beautiful. After a lot of persuasion, he actually developed a fondness for his voice. But with the loss of his savior came the loss of respect.

"We've still got Meryl and her men. And..."

"Yeah," Dr Hal 'Otacon' Emmerich said with a sigh, lifting his glasses. "The three musketeers. I can't believe they're still under us, after all that's happened."

With those words, the air became heavier. Hal's heart fell a million miles, sensing the downfall of his dearest friend's spirit. "We're to blame for his death, but they're still with us," the anime otaku said gently, eyes glistening with unshead tears. "It's amazing, what the human spirit can endure."

"Is this what it's like to be human?"

Tears shot out of Hal's soft, tender eyes. His eyes widened, filled with the fear and grief of a heart-broken child. He was frozen, gazing upon another broken heart. The heart belonged to an old legend, but his latest words were the words of an infant. They were the words of a grief-stricken dog, one that had been violently torn out of his home. That very same dog was examining his hands, gazing upon them as if he had emerged from a test tube.

"Huh. Wish I had left this human gig behind."

"Snake..."

"It isn't worth the trouble," the dog went on, voice becoming hoarse. Tears tumbled down wrinkled cheeks, and each drop carried a lifetime of pain. "Being human isn't all its cracked up to be. I thought I wanted to be a man, but...going through all of this, I realize...it's not worth it. Not worth the pain, the trouble...not worth it."

He thought things would be different, but they weren't. They weren't, and he knew his prince would hate him for thinking such thoughts. Things were cloudy, all messed up, and his prince wouldn't be happy. He would argue against his hatred of human flesh, against his scorn towards life-

Dead. Dead dead dead.

You're gone. Gone and I'll never get you back. Gone.

Dead. Gone. Dead. Gone.

Gone.

"Snake, I..."

Hands shot to his face. It took him a moment to realize they were his own. "I was an idiot, chasing after some damned dream," he whispered, gripping the skin on his face. Gentle hands were wrapped around his waist, begging for acknowledgement, but they were ignored.

"I couldn't...shouldn't have..."

A head fell into Hal Emmerich's chest, trembling. Tears dampened his thick blue sweater, catching the attention of a worried little maiden. That very same maiden clutched her Pikachu plushie to her chest, watching her surrogate father run a hand through Epyon's hair. "I shouldn't have chased him," Epyon sobbed, clutching her father's back. "Shouldn't have went after him."

"Dave..."

She gasped, and her heart screeched to a stop. Her father hadn't called Epyon by his birth name in years. He hadn't-

"My fault he's gone. I believed in some stupid dream, and he died for it. Died because of me."

"Dave," a voice murmured, as smooth as velvet. "It wasn't your fault. Noctis sacrificed himself because he wanted to. He...he died because he loved you. He loved you, Dave."

And so do I.

Pikachu suffocated in the maiden's arms. Hands cupped a wrinkled face, bringing comfort and adoration. A face showed uncertainty, wondering if it would be wise to take a chance. "I'll spend the rest of my life crying...if you shed any more tears," a voice said gently, sending thunderbolts of apprehension through water-logged eyes. "I don't want you to cry any more. He hated seeing you in pain, and...I'm not too fond of seeing you cry either."

Sunny Emmerich backed away from the developing scene, hands throttling her Pikachu. Shock, excitement and apprehension were one force, screaming inside of her. Two pairs of lips were melting into one another, belonging to a pair of lifelong friends.

Meanwhile, the world outside was falling apart.

A smile spread across the face of Hal's surrogate daughter. It brightened as young hands crept underneath a dark blue sweater.

This is much better than any anime show.

This was composed to Red's 'Break Me Down'.

Old Snake's deceased lover was Prince Noctis of Final Fantasy Versus, which has not yet been released. That's due to be released on the PS3 (hopefully) at the end of this year. As for the way he was killed, and the circumstances surrounding his death, just know this. He sacrificed his life to protect Old Snake.

The Otacon/Snake romance was tossed in at the last possible second. And at one point, Hal made a reference to Noctis' friends, who are shown in several Versus previews.

Happy New Year, MGS fans.