Warnings are AU, language, mention of sexual situations between minor and adult, and slash.

Something takes a part of me
Something lost and never seen
Every time I start to believe
Something's raped and taken from me

Can't I take away all this pain?
You wanna see the light?
I try to every night, all in vain, in vain

Sometimes I cannot take this place
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste

Feeling like a freak on a leash
You wanna see the light?
Feeling like I have no release

How many times have I felt diseased?
Nothing in my life is free...

She expected it from both of them, really. For different reasons, of course. Naruto was simply too...moronic to notice. That part she accepted without question. And Sasuke, well, she had hoped that he might be a little more receptive, but Uchiha was synonymous, she realized early on in their partnership, to huge fucking ego.

So the fact that they hadn't seen her pain really shouldn't have bothered her. But everything bothered her lately. And it was all his fault.

She balled her hands into fists, trying to resist the rather violent urge to send the large, ancient tree she was currently sitting under through the door of his- of Hatake Kakashi's- apartment. Or though his chest. Not that it would matter, he doesn't have a heart to crush, the bastard.

In retrospect, she should've known this would happen. What would he ever see in her, anyway? Besides, of course, her rapturous beauty and very unmatched skills as a ninja. Not to mention that, as opposed to most of the other women he'd ever been with, she actually had a decent stock of neurons and was capable of intelligent conversation and thought. And there was that whole humor thing- she was a riot and she knew it. So what was the problem? Clearly not her confidence.

"The problem," Sakura mimicked his voice, "is that you're seventeen and I'm not. That I can't give you what you're looking for." The wind shifted, and Sakura's stomach dropped, like it always did when his scent- sharp like black licorice but slightly sweet like pressed sugar-washed over her. Well, fine. If he wanted to play these juvenile games, so be it. "That I'm an emotionally immature narcissist who thinks the sun rises out of my navel and sets in my scrotum, and only care about what lies between the two."

"You really think that?"

Deep breaths, Sakura. In through your nose, out through your mouth. She thought, wondering exactly how long he'd been following her. Not that it mattered. Thoughts like that only led to suspicions that he actually cared about her, and as he had many times vehemently denied any such feelings, there really was no point.

"I thought you were on a mission." Sakura said, plucking a blade of grass and bending it between her thumb and index finger.

He dropped from the tree without a sound, landing directly in front of her, in a crouching position.

"Got home early."

She wanted to look at him, to drink in his appearance, to run her eyes along his jaw that was, though masked, strongly prominent. She wanted to see the slight reflection of sun off his silver hair, to entwine her fingers into his gloved ones.

She focused on the blade of grass instead.

"Sakura," He said, his voice hesitant and guarded, but her name sounding no less like music rolling off his tongue, "I just- "

Sakura sighed, flinging away the grass blade and standing up. "I really don't want to hear it."

"You don't even know what I was going to say." He was in front of her in a flash, blocking her way.

She took another deep breath, and looked up into his face. " 'I love you, sensei.' That's what I will say. And then you will say 'This is wrong, I'm no good for you, we should never have fucked' or something as equally stupid, and my heart will break just a little more. I'll run away," Sakura pointed behind her, into the dense forest, "and you won't come after me. So, in the interest of saving time, I'm just going to run along. I suggest you do the same."

And she did leave, though it wasn't without superhuman effort. She hated walking away from him, because it always left her wondering if she had stayed, would he change his mind? Maybe this would be the time he finally threw caution to the wind and swept her up in his arms, proclaimed his undying love for her-

Shit. She was thinking those thoughts again. Hope, it seemed, was something that, no matter how many times he rejected her and informed her that he did not return her affection, would never die.

She could still feel him behind her. Probably out of sight, but nonetheless there. She stopped, looked up at the sky.

"I think the worst part is I knew this would happen...I was so stupid to think that maybe for one second you actually cared...and you know what else, sensei? It's hard to wait around for something you know may never happen, but it's even harder when you know it's everything you want. So...I guess I'll keep waiting."

He didn't reply, and she didn't expect him to.

oooo

"She didn't even show up, don't you care?" Naruto hurried to catch up with Kakashi and Sasuke, who were already half-way across the training grounds.

Kakashi shrugged. "She's been working at the clinic, probably just lost track of the time. I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"You never worry. One day she's going to just disappear forever and you won't even notice!"

Kakashi had one hand around his throat and one holding his arms together before Naruto could even take a defensive stance.

"Don't ever say that again." Kakashi growled, then shoved Naruto into Sasuke's arms, turning on his heel and running away from them, hardly a blur in the distance.

"Get off, idiot." Sasuke dumped Naruto onto the ground, brushing orange fuzz of his shirt. "and start making yourself useful. We need to find out what's going on between him and Sakura."

"Since when do you care about Sakura?" Sasuke allowed a slight smirk at the suspicion and indignation in Naruto's voice.

"Relax, I only want to help her because she's a part of our team. If this keeps up, if she keeps missing training and team meetings, she could be in danger of losing her status as a shinobi."

"Well duh, the reason she keeps skipping stuff is because of Kakashi-sensei. She loves 'em or something."

Well, it was bound to happen. Sakrua's heart was bleeding everywhere these days, and it was high time her teammates- her best friends- did something about it.

oooo

"What?" Sakura answered the door with contempt. She was having a lovely gin induced nap in the dark of her apartment, where she was, or so she'd hoped, forgotten by the outside world.

"We need to talk to you, and- whoa!" Naruto recoiled as he smelled Sakura's liquor-soaked breath. "Jeez Sakura, you reek!"

The pounding behind her eye that usually happened when Naruto was around began to throb, and she shielded her eyes against the daylight. "You have three seconds to leave before I make you leave." Sakura threatened, hoping that she still had some alcohol somewhere in the apartment.

"We need to talk about you and Kakashi." Sasuke, who had been leaning casually against the door frame, said.

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. "What about him? For the love," she groaned, as a cloud passed from covering the sun and the brightness nearly blinded her, "get in if you won't get out."

She didn't bother turning on a light or opening the blinds, so Sasuke and Naruto were left to stagger through the darkness until they came across the two chairs in the living room that matched the sofa Sakura had sunk into.

"Here we are." She said quietly to herself, as her hand found the tall bottle of gin she'd been nursing.

"We think you should move on," Sasuke said, thinking it best to get to the point.

"Done." Sakura said, after taking a long pull off the bottle.

"Simple as that?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Yep. I hate him, can't stand him. Hope he catches syphilis from whatever bimbo he picks up tonight. Now leave."

Sasuke sighed. "So tell me, what hurts worse? Thinking you should hate him, or knowing, deep in your heart, that you don't?"

From the very dim light under the microwave emanating from kitchen they could see Sakura pull her knees up to her chest and bury her head in her arms.

"You just...you wouldn't understand." Sakura said, and they could tell from the tremor in her voice that she had started to cry.

"C'mon Sakura, it's okay." Naruto said, moving to the couch and putting his arm around her. "What's so wonderful about him anyway? You could do so much better, I mean, you're Sakura!"

"He's...it's just...I can't stop." Sakura sighed, but Sasuke, seeing the outline of Naruto's ridiculous spikes of hair, of seeing him caring so much about comforting Sakura, understood.

"He's everything to you."

Sakura nodded. "Can't help it."

Neither could he. He knew was it was like to be so close to the one you loved, to the one that made you, at times, glad to be alive. But those feelings came at a price, a hefty price that sometimes he didn't think he was up to paying. But then there'd be a goofy smile, a simple, childish delight for something as stupid as a bowl of ramen, and Sasuke felt that, when it came down to it, he could endure whatever loving Naruto would cost him.

"You're strong enough, Sakura. You just don't know it yet." Sasuke said.

"He isn't good for me. He's rude, self-centered, doesn't care about anything but his own gratification, wouldn't know an adult relationship if it bit him on the ass, and worst of all, thinks I'm too young for him."

Naruto laughed. "See? You know you deserve better."

"That's the thing," Sakura said, taking another swig from the gin bottle, "to me, there is no better. I love him in spite of all those things, because that's just who he is. He's also smart, and funny and good and kind and helps people and would give his own life to protect yours."

"But Sakura- "

"Of course, he drinks too much, reads porn like it's his profession, is lazy, gambles all his money away, can seduce anybody by merely looking at them, and knows exactly where to kiss me to make me weak and blubbering like an illiterate whore."

"Okay, that would be TMI. TDMI, actually." Naruto said, cringing.

"Then, after all that, he'll slip you caramels when nobody's looking because he can tell when you're craving something sweet, leave a bouquet of irises on your kitchen table just because he knows they're your favorite, and whisper your name as you fall asleep in his arms."

"Really, we don't need to hear- " Sasuke tried to interrupt, but Sakura ignored him.

"Just because he's gone by the time you wake up, with not so much as a good morning note by the bedside table, and just because he ate the last yogurt cup even though you bought them for yourself and made it very clear he was to keep his hands off them, that doesn't mean anything, right? I mean, what's a dairy bi-product compared to how his fingers set your skin on fire?"

"I'm begging you," Naruto whimpered, not sure how much more he could take. The mental image of of his sensei and his best friend in bed and most likely nude was really testing the limit of his gag reflex.

"Look Sakura, you need to give him an ultimatum. You can't go on like this, and you deserve better than somebody who disregards your feelings." Sasuke stood up, not entirely sure he could keep his ears from bleeding if he heard much more. "Let's go, Naruto."

"Guys?" Sakura called as they opened the door, "thanks." Hearing the smile in her voice made the visit almost worth the mental scarring.

"You're welcome." Naruto said, before slamming the door shut behind him.

oooo

She could smell him already, knew he was within hearing distance. She sat on the ground, her legs crossed beneath her.

"I have something to say," she said, "and I don't want to hear from you until you decide for sure." The breeze shook the leaves of the trees, but he remained silent.

"See, I've tried not to love you, I've tried not to give a damn about where you are or what you do. I thought it would be best for me if I could just do what you said- pretend that we never happened. That it was just sex, and nothing more. Because, quite frankly Kakashi, you're no good for me. You're rude and self-centered- "

"And I don't care about anything but my own gratification, I wouldn't know an adult relationship if it bit me on my rather remarkable ass, and worst of all, you're too young for me...am I in the ballpark?"

He moved from where he'd landed, once more crouching in front of her. He reached out, dragging his fingers across her chin.

"I don't recall having said anything about a remarkable ass." Sakura said, nearly hypnotized by his touch.

Kakashi grinned. "Darling, I know you better than you know yourself; trust me, you think it's remarkable." And he leaned forward to kiss her, his masked lips brushing hers softly.

"No," Sakura whispered, pulling away from him slightly, "if we're going to do this, we're going to do this right," and she tugged at his mask until it fell to the side of his face. Sakura gave a contented sigh. "Much better." She said before meeting his lips again.

oooo

"I'll want you to say the words, you know." They were walking in the darkness, her hand in his. The bridge into the village was deserted this time of night, and they were able to take as much time as they wanted.

"I thought I already had." He turned to her, his eyebrow cocked.

"Sensei," Sakura said, pulling herself up onto the metal railing guard that surrounded each side of the bridge, "it doesn't count during sex."

Kakashi came over to her, putting one hand on either side of her hips. "Sakura," He said, pronouncing her name with a sort of reverence, "I love you. I don't know what to do with myself when you're not around, I can't think straight but that doesn't matter, because all I think about is you anyway."

Sakura pushed his headband up so she could stare into both of his eyes while he spoke. "So you really have decided?"

"I've decided to stop trying to stay away from you. I'm much too selfish to let you go." He wrapped one arm around her, his palm pressing into the small of her back.

"Then," She said, smiling up at him, "I've decided to let you have me."

Feedback is love. Thanks for reading! Lyrics are from Freak On A Leash by Korn.