A/N: I'm not expecting this to actually get read, but hey. A girl can dream.

Disclaimer: Damn, I wish I owned CollegeHumor. Or maybe just Jake and Amir. The people. Heh.

"Jake!" Amir shouts excitedly from the other side of the room. "Ricky's sleeping!"

"Awesome," Jake says sarcastically without looking up from his computer.

"We should play a prank on him! Like, get a bucket of cold water, and, umm…stick his foot in it, or whatever."

"That's warm water and hand," Jake says, still looking at the computer.

"Oh who cares?!" Amir whines. "Let's just do something! Okay?"

It's 9:00 PM and Amir, Jake, and Ricky are the only ones left in the office. Ricky is apparently sleeping; his office is dark and the blinds are drawn across the windows.

"No," Jake says.

"What are you even doing?" Amir says, using his whiny voice. He's really perfected it, Jake thinks. It's even more annoying than usual.

"Something you never do: work."

"Work is as boring as—" Jake cuts him off.

"Don't say worms."

"…Squids! Gosh." Amir crouches by Jake's desk.

"Look, if you're not going to do anything, why don't you just leave?" Jake says.

Amir ignores him. "Let's play a game."

This can only end one way, Jake thinks. Very badly. "Nope."

"Seriously?! What are you even working on?"

"I'm writing an article—"

"Now you're not," Amir says, and reaches over to pull the computer's cord from the wall.

"No! You stupid little—" He turns around and grabs Amir by the ankle.

"Ow!" Amir says, now lying flat-out on the floor, one hand curled around the cord.

Jake stares at him. "Don't do it."

Amir does it.

"Seriously?" Jake says, although he doesn't sound too angry. I expected that. For a split second, he realizes his hand is still on Amir's ankle. Then suddenly he finds himself on the floor. "What the hell!"

"Ahaha! I got you!" Amir laughs, his hand gripping Jake's arm. "I took…espionage…of your weak moment, or whatever!"

Jake shakes his head. "Advantage. And let go of me."

"Hmm," Amir hums. "What's that song, by Beyoncé, it goes like—"

"Amir!" Jake shouts. "Let go of me!"

"Gosh, sorry," he says. "Aren't we…feely…today?"

Jake stands up. "That's touchy, and I'm not."

"Ahh," Amir says, still on the floor.

"I know you don't get it. You don't have to pretend that you do."

"Oh, good." Amir stands up, then bolts out to the hallway. A few seconds later, it's pitch black.

"Agh! What the fuck!" Jake is in mid-step when he trips over his chair and falls.

"Jaaaaake!" Amir calls, holding out the 'a' for at least five seconds. "Isn't this scaaaaary? You don't know where I aaaaam!"

"I'm gonna guess the hallway," Jake says, gritting his teeth and rubbing his now-sore knee. "Just turn the lights back on, you idiot."

"I can't fiiiiind them!" Amir says, still in his corny-scary voice.

"Oh, for—wait. Aren't you afraid of the dark?" Jake says suddenly.

"Oh…oh sheesh," Amir says. His fingers make scratching noises on the wall as he blindly searches for the light switch. "Yeah, I am. Oh…" he sounds truly afraid now.

So he genuinely can't find the lights. Jake sits up and sighs. "Follow my voice, okay?"

"Okay," and then a loud clatter. "I think I just broke Pat's computer."

"Whatever."

"Ugh, how can I follow your voice if you're not saying anything?"

He has a point. "Right, umm, so can you believe Ricky hasn't woken up yet?"

"Yes!" Amir whines. A crash that sounds like glass shattering. "Jake! Keep talking!"

"Umm, one time, I ate this taco, and I didn't think there was anything weird about it, but then I started to feel sick and—" Why was he babbling on like this? Why did he care that Amir was afraid of the dark? Pussy. I should just let him get over it. But some strange impulse was telling him to keep talking. "So I got home, right, and then—ow!" Amir trips over Jake's shoe and falls onto his legs.

"Jake! I found you! It's really dark in here, Jake, have you noticed? How it's dark…?"

You turned the lights off, you idiot. But Jake doesn't say anything, even as Amir scrambles up Jake's chest like a puppy who wants to cuddle. Jake scoots backwards to lean against the wall. Amir reaches out his hand blindly. "Where are you going? Don't leave!"

"I'm right here. Just go forward."

Amir rushes at him and runs into his chest full-on.

"Okay, okay," Jake says, half-laughing, heart fluttering. Why?

"Jake. What are we gonna do?" Amir asks, settling into his lap.

"I could go turn the lights on—"

"No! You can't leave me!"

"You could go with me."

"I've already been through the darkness once. I'm not doing it again. Plus that glass vase fell on me. It was painful."

"It fell on you? Are you okay?" Jake asks, a little desperately. Whatever. Concern for a potentially-bleeding friend.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine."

"If I find out you've got a glass shard in you and are lying about it, I'm gonna be pissed." Jake's only half-joking. Amir, amazingly, picks up on this.

"Seriously. I'm fine. Yeah…fine."

"Okay. I don't know what to do about the lights, though. I guess we could break some more stuff and try to wake up Ricky with the noise."

"Ugh, does it matter? We should just sleep here. Like a sleep-over, only at the office and without popcorn and movies and video games and—"

"I'm not sleeping here. And I'm really uncomfortable, by the way." Jake tries to shift his weight so his right foot doesn't fall asleep. Oops. Too late.

"Jake!" Amir whines.

"What?"

"Don't move!"

"Oh my God, I'm just trying to prevent my entire lower body from becoming numb!" Jake moves sideways along the wall. Amir clings to his arm. A stack of papers on the windowsill gets jostled in the process and falls directly on them.

"AGH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

"Amir! Chill out, they're papers, I knocked over a stack of papers, okay? Papers."

Amir's heartbeat is crazy-fast. Good Lord. Why is he so freaked out? His heart is racing…I can feel his heartbeat…unwillingly…weird.

"Jake!"

Something wet lands on Jake's collarbone. "Are you…crying? Seriously? Amir. You've got to be kidding me. It's dark and some papers fell. It's not a big deal."

"Shut up! I'm scared, yeah, whatever."

Jake would like to make some sort of scathing comment that would accurately represent the absurdity of the situation, but nothing comes to mind. So instead he says, "Relax. I'm not going anywhere." Far shot from 'scathing.'

Amir sniffs. This is ridiculous, Jake thinks, and then, no it's not, it's Amir, what did you expect?

"Thanks." Amir saying a heartfelt thanks? Things were getting weirder by the minute.

"Sure." Weird, weird, weird! Jake thinks, and then: well, maybe not.

Amir is sniffling. His snot is accumulating on Jake's shoulder. His glasses are pressing into Jake's face. His hands are wound around Jake's back, and for some reason, he keeps wringing his hands.

Jake can't figure out why he can't bring himself to care. He should be standing up, screaming, freaking out and yelling, "Sick!" But he's not. Instead, he's reaching behind him to grab Amir's shaking hands and bringing them forward with his.

Amir turns over and looks at him. There's a bit of light from the glow of the city outside the window, and Jake raises his eyebrows. Amir shrugs. Jake closes his eyes and thinks okay okay okay. Then he falls asleep.

Wordless communication: just another perk of being BBFs.

A blinding flash. Lights, Jake thinks. Then, ouch!

Amir mumbles something. Jake ignores him.

Ricky's finger remains hovering over the light switch. Leave them on or let them sleep.

"Hmm," he says, and shuts the lights back off.

The title has literally nothing to do with the story. Hah. Thank you Snow Patrol; I listened to your wonderful song all the way through writing this and decided to make the song title the fic title.