Okay, I know this topic has probably been overused, but I couldn't help it. The plot bunnies took over. Basically, what started it was I was watching Mind Games on USA and Ducky had his line which is replicated below about Gibbs being like Tony. This, along with my remembrance of various other quotes, caused me to this idea and thus Sands of Time was born.

I would say it's sad (if you thought Hiatus was difficult to watch, as I do, then this takes on that same type of format). There are only a few swears. I'm not a fan of them in writing, but I think here, they are justified.

While writing this (especially the end), I listened to the song "Dark Waltz" by Hayley Westerna on youtube. It's a chillingly beautiful song that really sets the mood for the last couple flashbacks.

Pairings: Tony/Ziva, McGee/OC

Warnings: Character death, mild swearing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sands of Time

An NCIS Fanfiction

"He was…he was a lot like you." – Ducky (to Tony, about Gibbs ten years ago), Mind Games, 3.03

"You're not Gibbs, Tony." – Abby, Hiatus (Part 1), 3.23

"I'm not Agent Gibbs, I don't know Agent Gibbs, I don't want to know Agent Gibbs. I want my family. I want Shannon. I want Kelly. I miss 'em, I miss 'em..." – Gibbs, Hiatus (Part 2), 3.24

"What would Gibbs do? Right? I've got a bulletin for you, Ducky. I'm not Gibbs." – Tony, Shalom, 4.01

Anthony Dinozzo closed his eyes and laid his head on his desk, alarming his partner Tim McGee, who stopped typing on his computer to glance at the field agent. Ever since Tony came back to NCIS from his eight year hiatus, he hadn't been Tony. He hadn't been his usual self that McGee had missed, that Abby had missed, that Gibbs and even Vance had missed.

And, Tim knew he shouldn't pry, but Abby was terrified of Tony's behavior. Lost were the jokes and movie references and in were the quiet, blank stares.

In fact, Tony reminded Tim a lot of Gibbs.

Gibbs had retired not long before Tony's return; Ducky, too, had handed down his position. In eight years, the bullpen had changed quite a bit and Tim never thought he'd see the day when he was Tony's boss, when Jimmy Palmer did all the autopsies.

But, before he had a chance to ask, there came word of a dead marine. Tony walked out, following slightly behind McGee.

Abby Sciuto didn't like hospitals, nor did she like people who wouldn't let her into Trauma because she wasn't kin. What she did like was that she wasn't alone. Gripping onto McGee's arm as tight as she could and black-stained tears running down her cheeks, she tried to think of "positive thoughts" like she had many years before, when it had been Gibbs brought in on a gurney instead of Tony.

Of course, the circumstances were different. Gibbs had been in an explosion; Tony had been run over by the suspect in the getaway. But, it was still bad. It still terrified her.

The waiting area at Bethesda Naval Hospital was full and many were there for Tony. She and McGee were there of course, but others like Palmer, the two other agents on the team, and Vance, held vigil. Ducky had come as well and rumor had it Gibbs was on his way.

If Gibbs was coming, Abby deducted, it couldn't be good.

It was hours before the doctor came out and spoke in hushed tones to Ducky. And, as the rain poured down outside, the doors of emergency blew open and Gibbs strode through, directly to Ducky and the doctor. It was the first time she'd seen, or heard from, Gibbs in a month.

As they were walking back to the group, huddled together and speaking quietly, Vance approached them and she could hear only a few words.

"Severe head trauma…"

"Coma…"

"Memory…"

"Might not make it..."

"Eli…"

The director walked out, hurried exiting through the doors. Gibbs approached them, kissing Abby's forehead and clapping McGee's shoulder.

"Is he going to be okay?" McGee asked.

Gibbs didn't say anything and instead looked at the tiles on the floor.

To say the least, Tony was angry. "How could you?" he demanded, glaring at Director Vance through slits.

Gibbs held onto Tony's shoulders, trying to keep his agent from attacking. "Dinozzo…"

"No," he said, looking disgustedly toward Vance. "The last time she was in Israel I had to go after her. She would have died in Somalia. They don't give a damn about her!"

"Look, Dinozzo, it was a hard choice, yes, but it had to be done," Vance said, holding his ground. "It was my job to make a liaison position with Mossad and she was the only agent qualified. If you have a problem, take it up with the Secretary of the Navy."

Tony just smiled, as if he was in on a joke that no one else was in on, and Gibbs saw the glint in his eyes. He pulled out his badge and his gun and placed the items on the table. "I quit," he whispered, shaking Gibbs off and storming out of the office.

Vance stood to call out, but Gibbs was already a few steps ahead. He followed Tony out the door and down the hall where he saw his agent enter MTAC. "Dinozzo!" he heard Vance bellow.

When Gibbs and Vance entered MTAC, Gibbs knew they were too late to stop him. Tony was already conferencing with Director David.

"You think you would last at Mossad?" David questioned, laughing slightly. "What, is Washington too boring for you, Agent Dinozzo?"

Gibbs walked out of the room, knowing he was losing two of his agents to Mossad. And, if Tony didn't get his wish to join, he knew Tony wouldn't work at NCIS any longer. For that, he blamed Mossad.

Gibbs looked down at Tony and frowned. The tube sticking out of his throat and the various machines connected to him made it appear that he wasn't alive.

"Oh, Anthony," Ducky muttered, touching Tony's hand gently.

"How long has he been back, Duck?" Gibbs asked, sitting in the chair beside Tony's bed.

Ducky shrugged. "Not more than a few months."

"And why did he come back?" Gibbs questioned further. Ducky avoided his eye and Gibbs leaned forward. "I know Vance contacted you for a psych eval, six months ago. Tony was coming back to the states long before I left NCIS. What happened?"

"I don't feel it is my place to tell you, Jethro," Ducky muttered, shaking his head. "Just know that he had a rough year and was sent back to the states by Director David. I have…"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Ducky…"

The older man sighed. "I have been helping him. My house is far too large for just me, and now that the last of Mother's corgis has passed, it is rather lonely. When Director Vance had me do his psych evaluation, anyone – even Mr. Palmer – could tell that Tony was in no shape to be by himself." Ducky glanced down at Tony again. "Oh, Jethro, it is all too sad."

"Was it Ziva?" Gibbs asked.

Ducky had a faint smile spread across his face. "Who else could cause our Anthony so much pain?"

Gibbs looked down at Tony, whose eyelids were fluttering slightly, and was reminded too much of himself.

Tony laughed and smiled down at Ziva, who merely rolled her eyes. "It's amazing how easily you pick up language when you're immersed in the culture," Tony told her. "Too bad you never mastered your idioms while you were in America."

"Shut up, Tony."

He laughed again and this time Ziva punched him in the arm. He clutched his arm and looked at her with a mock look of pain. Suddenly, a loud crash exploded in the distance and the two broke out into a run. A bomb had gone off in a market and they immediately began to help in the rescue effort.

Another bomb exploded nearby and a building collapsed, trapping all of the people in the market. Tony's mind raced and was now focused on finding Ziva. He found her, bleeding from the head and nearly unconscious.

"Hey, I didn't move to Israel to have you die on me," he muttered, hoping for a smile which she gave him.

So excited that she was alive, Tony leaned down and kissed her.

"I don't know why he hasn't woken up yet," the doctor muttered.

Ducky shook his head at the young man. Tony was probably one of his first solo cases. "I believe he may not want to wake," Ducky muttered, eyeing Gibbs. "He may be quite content in his memories."

"I don't know," the doctor muttered, not convinced by the old man.

"I have seen it before," Ducky said, patting the man on the arm before turning to Gibbs. "Right, Jethro?"

"Yeah, Duck."

"Reminds me of the time when Jethro here was caught in an explosion…" Ducky began, but Gibbs turned around. He looked down at Tony and lightly tapped his head. But, Tony didn't wake. He turned to the bag of personal belongings they had been able to salvage and Gibbs frowned. He pulled out a necklace and on it was a ring.

A wedding ring.

"Ducky!" he groaned, lifting it up to show his old friend.

The ME didn't know what to say. "I think you know," Ducky muttered, walking from the room to alert Abby and McGee of Tony's condition.

Gibbs sat back down in the chair. "What happened to you, Dinozzo?"

Tony had never been happier. Sure, he was living in a war torn country, thousands of miles away from his homeland, but his life couldn't have been better. He had Ziva by his side, Director David finally liked him, and he had a life he never would have expected, but one he liked very much.

"Tony?"

He shook himself out of his reveries and smiled at Ziva. They were watching James Bond in Hebrew – the theory being if he watched something he knew by heart it would help him learn the language. "What is it, sweetcheeks?"

"Are you happy?" she asked. "Do you miss NCIS?"

He wrapped his arm around her. "No….well, yeah. I miss Abs, Probie, Gibbs, and Ducky, but I'm glad I'm here with you."

She leaned into him, focusing on the television. Tony grinned and reached into his pocket, withdrawing a small box. "Hey, Ziva, would you marry me?"

She turned slowly toward him. "Is this a hippopotamus question?"

"Hypothetical," he corrected. "And, no, it's not."

She smiled a broad grin and that was all that Tony needed before he slid the ring on her finger.

When Tim went home that night, he hadn't done it because he wanted to. Gibbs had made him take Abby home and threatened him if he had made his way back. Tim walked through the door of his house, greeted by Jethro – much slower now than he had been when Abby rescued him – and then his wife.

If Tony had been the regular Tony, Tim was sure he would have been proud of his probie for finally finding a woman that didn't want to hurt him, or use him, or kill him. But Tony wasn't Tony. Things had changed for everyone.

"You're home late," she stated, holding back Jethro as Tim took off his jacket. "Big case?"

He loved that she understood his job, but sometimes he felt horrible for putting her through it. What if, instead of Tony, it had been him? "No, Tony's at Bethesda."

"Oh, Tim," she said softly, afraid of what was to come.

Tim rubbed his eyes, noticing they were a little wet for the first time. "They don't know anything, if he'll wake up, if he'll make it. Nothing."

And, as she ushered him into the kitchen, sitting him down to cook for him, Tim placed his head in his hands. What had Tony done to deserve that?

Tony stood up from his seat in the small theater and clapped as the small dancers finished their routine. Ziva rolled her eyes beside him as he clapped louder than anyone else in the place. "I did not know you liked ballet this much," she said slyly as they walked out to the lobby. When they stopped, she looked up at him. "You did not even want her to do ballet."

"What can I say? She's a natural!" he exclaimed. He smiled at her and winked. "Just like her mother."

"I have not done ballet since I joined Mossad," she muttered. "You have not even seen me dance."

"I can imagine."

Ziva glanced at him and furrowed her brow, ready to say something when a little figure wrapped her arms around Tony's waist, distracting him.

"Papa!" the little girl said, laughing as Tony lifted her in the air. "Did you see me? I was right in the front because Ms. Goldstein thinks I am the best!"

"Of course I did, Mara," he said, taking one of her dark curls that had fallen out of her bun and pulling it, making it bounce in her face. "And I must say your teacher is right."

"Ima, did you see Sabba (grandfather)?" Mara asked, turning to Ziva and holding a flower. "He gave me this."

"That is very kind of him," she replied, although it sounded forced. Tony raised an eyebrow but Ziva shook her head. He'd have to ask her about it later. Mara squirmed in his arms and he set her down so she could run to a group of friends, talking hurriedly in Hebrew, and he was amazed at how his daughter grasped languages. She not only spoke impeccable English, but mastered Hebrew – even having Tony's stumbles while Ziva was attempting to teach her – and the small amount of Italian he had begun teaching her.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing Ziva's eyes wandering the lobby. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and started ranting quietly to herself in Hebrew. He'd been in the country for nearly eight years and knew what it meant, and most of the time found it funny when she switched languages to confuse him even though she knew it no longer had that effect.

Except, hearing her say, "My father is a manipulative bastard," didn't give him that satisfaction. Instead, he was enraged.

As Gibbs watched Tony's fingers twitch, he hoped the agent would wake for everyone's sake. It had been three days since the accident and Tony's condition hadn't changed. The door opened and Gibbs didn't look up.

"He looks awful," came the heavy accented voice in the doorway.

"Director David," Gibbs greeted monotonously.

"Special Agent Gibbs," Eli David said in the same voice. "How is he?"

Gibbs looked up and began to gauge David. The man looked a little concerned, as if in the eight years Tony had spent in Israel had softened the old Israeli toward the young Italian-American. "How does he look?"

David sighed and sat down in the vacant chair. "Gibbs–"

"Why did you want an NCIS liaison anyway?" Gibbs asked. He'd always wondered why he had requested it, or rather, demanded it of SECNAV. When David said nothing, Gibbs continued. "You wanted control again, didn't you? You couldn't let her go. You like control too much. Must have been thrilled when you found out Dinozzo was coming along for the ride…two for the price of one."

David stood up and walked toward the door. "Agent Gibbs," he said, turning as he made his way to exit. "I never meant for it to happen. I wanted Anthony to know that."

The door slammed shut and Gibbs turned to Tony, finding his eyelids twitching once more.

"Ima, don't go!"

Mara clung to Ziva, tears falling down her cheeks and onto her mother's combat clothes.

"Hush," Ziva said before whispering in Mara's ear. Tony watched, leaning against the building and glaring in the distance to where he could see the basic outline of Director Eli David speaking with a few other operatives.

He didn't need to send Ziva. In Tony's opinion, he could have sent someone else, someone that didn't have ties to NCIS, someone whose death wouldn't affect another nation.

Because, that's what Ziva was convinced it was: a suicide mission. Sure, the result would benefit Israel, but she was convinced she would never see them.

"Why does he want you dead?" Tony had asked when Ziva told him her father's plan. "He's insane if he thinks I'm going to let you go. I can take him."

But, as Tony found out, Eli David always wins.

"I will come back."

Tony looked down and saw a single tear running down Ziva's face and knew her death was inevitable. He couldn't believe it. Over the years, Eli had been so gracious to them. He had almost become friends with Tony, had gone to all of Mara's recitals, had been genuinely friendly to all of them.

"He is planning something," Ziva had said one night a year before. "I do not know what, but I can see that lint in his eye."

"Glint," Tony had corrected. "Glint in his eye, not lint."

Quickly and quietly, Ziva handed the wailing seven year old to Tony. She kissed him softly and shook her head. "I'll be waiting for you," Tony told her, using double meaning as not to upset Mara.

"It better be a long wait," she replied before taking her backpack and walking off.

"Ima!" Mara screamed, struggling against Tony's arms to get away. He grabbed her around the waist as she attempted to run after her mother. "No, don't go! Come back! Ahhh! Papa, make her stop!"

Tony didn't make any effort to quiet her, wanting every member of Mossad to hear her. He wanted every person in Tel Aviv, every person in Israel to hear her screams. Perhaps then it would get through some heads that this conflict was ruining families, ruining lives.

It wouldn't save Ziva, but it might save another daughter from having to scream like Mara was.

Tony nearly growled when he noticed Eli approach them. Mara's screaming continued, growing louder the farther Ziva went, until Eli placed a finger to his granddaughter's lips.

"Hush, Mara, emotions make you seem weak," he told her, speaking in Hebrew, as if to make Tony feel left out. "Your Ima is off to protect Israel."

As Eli walked off, Mara's tears continued to fall and Tony lifted her. Her face fell into the crook of his neck, wetting it. "It's okay, Mara," he told her, glaring at Eli's back. "It's okay to show emotion. Cry all you want."

And she did. She cried herself to sleep in Tony's arms at Mossad headquarters. And Tony stayed there, wanting everyone to see what the effects of these missions had on his daughter.

"Come on, Tony, wake up," McGee muttered, shaking Tony's arm.

"I know you're having a great time in there, but come join the living!" Abby pleaded.

Gibbs shooed them out and watched Tony's stillness, waiting for a single eye to open.

Instead, all he got was a flick of a wrist and a single tear fell from his eyes.

Mara held onto his hand and stared ahead as a steady stream of tears left trails on her cheeks. Tony was fighting back tears, but his main focus was on Eli David, standing before him looking sullen with a tear over his heart, showing his mourning. Tony understood it to be a Jewish tradition, but he felt that someone who sent their daughter off to die didn't deserve to be a part of the mourning and burial.

As he watched Mara take the shovel and lift dirt clumsily into the plot, Tony couldn't take it any longer. He let the tears fall from his eyes. When she returned to his side, she reached her hands up, wanting to be held. He lifted her and she fingered the small tear in the right side of his shirt (like Eli's, a symbol of mourning), then she fingered her own tear. When she was finished, she looked into his eyes, her deep brown orbs glittering with unshed tears, and wiped the water off his cheeks.

Not for the first time, he was amazed by his daughter.

"Jethro hasn't left his side," Ducky said, walking beside Leon as they approached Tony's hospital room. "He won't listen to me, but perhaps he will listen to you. He needs to take a break, or else, I am afraid of what will happen to him if Anthony, indeed, does not wake."

Leon turned to Ducky. "What's that chance?"

"The longer he stays unconscious, the more likely it is he won't wake."

Leon nodded and watched Ducky sit down in the waiting area. Today, he was all by himself as Tim and Abby had been banished to NCIS to work the case. Leon didn't knock on the door, barreling through with his normal bluntness. Gibbs was sitting in the same seat he'd been sitting in the last time Leon had visited.

"Hello, Leon," Gibbs said, not looking up at his former boss.

"It isn't your fault," Leon said.

Gibbs didn't say anything and continued to watch Tony. Leon sat down and began to make small talk, trying to attract his attention. "So, Eli–"

"Director David," Gibbs spat, "is the whole reason why Tony's like this."

Leon frowned and nodded. "Do you know the story?"

Gibbs glanced up at Leon and then turned his attention to Tony. "What's there to know?"

"There was a breach. We believe one of our operatives has given out our information, especially about our officers," Eli said, seeming almost embarrassed. "Certain officers."

Tony leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "And you're telling me this why?"

Eli took a breath. He stood and walked across the table before he stopped, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder and leaning down to whisper in his ear. "There is a C-130 leaving Tel Aviv for Washington tonight at 24:00 hours. I want you here, with Mara, packed and ready to go at 23:00 hours. Director Vance will meet you in Washington. Tell this to no one."

"Do you know what happened to Dinozzo?" Leon asked.

Gibbs shook his head, for the first time realizing that he didn't know what had occurred in the life of his former agent, why he wouldn't want to wake.

Leon frowned. "You don't want to know," he muttered. "Dinozzo–"

But, he was cut off by Tony's rapid movements. His eyes clenched shut, his hands tried to escape the restraints. Gibbs watched, suddenly brought back to his own time waking from a coma, and hoped that, unlike him, Tony would remember what had happened and not have to be told.

Tony threw a few items in a bag as Mara rushed around the house. She was trying to bring everything when Tony told her she could only bring a backpack full.

"You can get new things in America, Mara," he had said.

"I can't bring Ima to America," she had replied, pulling a frame from table and stuffing it in her already filled bag. "Everything that she gave me, I want to keep!"

Tony ushered her off to bed, wanting her to get a few hours of sleep before the trip on one of the most uncomfortable plane rides she would ever be on. Gibbs was the only person he knew of that could sleep on a C-130.

"Tell me a story, Papa," she said.

"No, later, on the plane I will. Right now, go to sleep."

He shut off the light and watched as she drifted off to sleep.

The clock seemed to have stopped. He still had two hours before he needed to be at Mossad Headquarters, but he was ready to go. He was ready to go home and bring Mara to the United States. She was already a citizen, being born to American citizens abroad, so that wouldn't be a problem.

He wondered if Gibbs was still team leader. Was McGee still there? Was Abby? Ducky?

Taking a final picture off the wall, he wondered what they would say when they saw him. He certainly wasn't the same old Tony Dinozzo. Sure he was still sarcastic, still a movie lover, but he thought he'd changed. He was certainly more solemn. Losing Ziva had done that to him.

A voice yelled outside in a language Tony didn't understand. It wasn't Hebrew, as he had mastered that, nor English or Italian. It was something different that sounded more like Hebrew than Italian or English. Perhaps Arabic.

The window crashed and a brick lay at his feet. He jumped, startled, and went for his gun, but he didn't have it on him. There was a monstrous hole in the window and through it, the people outside threw a flaming stick.

He swore under his breath and ran up the stairs into Mara's room. "Mara, wake up," he said, hurriedly shaking her.

"Papa?" she asked groggily. "Is it time to go?"

"No," he said, hearing voices down stairs. He lifted her out of the bed and carried her into his room where the window was closer to the ground and had a bush. "I need you to run."

"What?"

"Run," he said. "We're going out the window and I need you to run to Sabba."

The door burst open and Tony looked down at her. "Remember, run," he told her in Italian, hoping to throw off the entrants. He let go and she screamed, landing in the bush with a small thud. But, she stood only moments later and began to run.

Then, Tony jumped himself.

The house was on fire and the other houses on the street were in similar shape. He heard gun shots and watched as the men in the streets began their massacre. He couldn't see Mara but hoped she was still running. He stepped out into the street after the men had passed him, wanting to run the other direction toward Mossad Headquarters, but stopped.

His bare feet felt something sticky.

And, when he looked down, he saw a river coming from the top of the hill. A red river. A river of blood.

He heard screams and shouts, mothers yelling to their children, fathers attempting to fight off the men. There was a blood-curdling scream and his heart stopped, knowing for sure it was Mara.

"Stupid Mossad," he heard someone behind him mutter in Hebrew, before he felt the butt of a gun hit the back of his head, and he fell into the bloody street.

Tony opened his eyes and felt the throbbing pain in the back of this head. His vision was blurred, but he could see that no one was in the room. The door opened and Eli walked in.

"Ah, you are awake," he said. "I have spoken to Director Vance. Once you are well he is expecting you."

Tony kept a blank face. "Mara's dead," he stated, his voice hoarse, "because of Mossad."

Eli turned and walked from the room. "Sometimes people are lost to the cause who are not supposed to be lost," he muttered as he walked out. Tony shook his head and pulled out his morphine drip.

He was going home.

The house was no longer standing. Everything was gone. He walked through the rubble as tears filled his eyes. Carefully, he picked up a teddy bear; one that hadn't been Mara's and hadn't been there during the fire. Someone had left it, one of her friends.

Mara wouldn't be forgotten.

"I have been expecting you."

Tony walked through Mossad Headquartersbehind Eli, his eyes focused on what was ahead of him. He had spent the last few months crying, yelling, and beating a punching bag until his knuckles bled. Of course he blamed himself. If he had gone with his gut and left when time seemed to stop, everything would be fine. He'd be in Washington. He'd be back at NCIS, far from Israel.

But, most importantly, Mara would still be alive.

He failed her. He failed Ziva and now that Mara was gone and the constant reminders of his promises to keep their daughter safe were gone with her, he realized that he'd failed Ziva twice.

The C-130 was ready for takeoff as Eli lead Tony across the tarmac. As Tony began to walk on, they did nothing. No goodbyes were exchanged. All Tony did was look out as the plane's doors shut.

And, for the first time in the eight years he had been working in Israel, he had never seen Eli David look so small.

"Welcome back stateside, Dinozzo," Leon Vance said.

Tony didn't reply.

The door opened and Ducky walked in. Tony looked up and then back down at his hands, which were on the table. Ducky's words went in one ear and out the other.

"Anthony..."

"...I know this is hard..."

"...Please, don't bottle these feelings..."

Finally, Tony looked up. "You know me, Ducky, and obviously you know the situation," he muttered. "So, what's the prognosis? Insane? Depressed? Suicidal? Is this why Director David got rid of me?"

"Dinozzo, you're staying with Dr. Mallard."

"Thanks, Director, you saved me a real estate hunt."

Vance glared at Tony's sarcasm.

Mallard Manor seemed immensely large when Ducky was at NCIS helping Palmer adjust to being the new ME. Tony spent his time in his room or wandering around. There were times when he went to the library and looked through the titles, not looking for something to read but to give his mind a distraction.

He found a book of fairy tales. Inside were the same stories he would read to Mara.

He couldn't take it and threw the book out the window.

Mara often plagued his thoughts. "Papa!"

"Papa, read me a story!"

"Papa, I love you!"

But, the one that broke his heart the most wasn't even her speaking to him.

"Ima, don't go!"

As Tony's eyes opened wide, he noticed Gibbs at his side and Vance on the other. Doctors surrounded them and Ducky stood at the end of the bed. He thrashed, memories of waking in a hospital in Tel Aviv, searching helplessly for his daughter as Doctors spoke hurriedly in Hebrew, prominent in his mind.

"Tony, calm down," Gibbs muttered.

And it seemed that the familiar voice he hadn't heard for eight years was all his body needed to calm. His thrashing lessened, the doctors finished, and before long, Tony was laying in bed, his eyes focused on the men in the room.

"Scared us, Dinozzo," Vance mumbled.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Ducky walked over and stood beside his head. "I'm afraid your vocals will not be up to par," he said. "Try to relax, Anthony."

But, Tony's face contorted, attempting to speak. He needed to find out if it was true. "Ziva?" he forced out.

By the tone of Vance's sigh and the look on Ducky's face, Tony knew the answer, but he struggled to speak again, only to be cut off by Vance when he had almost gotten the word out.

"Mara's gone too, Dinozzo," he said softly.

Gibbs looked up with a confused expression and Tony sighed. He remembered once that Abby had told him he wasn't Gibbs.

Well, now he was.

I made Tony remember at the end to show that he is his own person and not exactly like Gibbs. Also, the idea of Tony being an unreliable narrator (Truth and Consequences, 7.01) caught my eye. I thought it was really interesting to see what had happened, but through Tony's eyes, so you're not exactly sure if it truly occurred like that or if his emotions are getting in the way. I tried to make the flashback portions like that.

I picked the name Mara because on babynames (babynames (dot) com) it said it was Hebrew for "Sea Of Bitterness" and I thought that would fit well as her death is really what pulls Tony off the edge. And, for the Hebrew words I put in here, I looked them up. I don't speak Hebrew, so I'm sorry if they aren't right.

Also, lately, I am so sick of McGee getting a girl that wants to kill him or use him that I gave him a nice girl who cooked dinner for him. :)

Thanks for reading!

Review!