To the great, and powerful, Misumisu, the Queen of Crack!

I don't own chars or settings, just the idiocy of actually doing this. now read.

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Leon was walking through the Garden Forgotten by Time, thinking that defeating some of the monsters in the Pagoda would be easier if he had the Lightning Element to the Vampire Killer. And maybe those damnable Hanged Men would go down easier.

The Garden itself was like a living labyrinth, with everything trying to ensure he didn't make it out alive. Well, that wasn't going to happen. And if God would permit, maybe he can find one of the sacred chapels that Walter hadn't defiled.

That was an amazing feat, now that he thought about it. With Walter being as old as everything claimed him to be, it's a wonder that he even HAD sacred chapels. Leon also had to wonder how the places remained sacred if there was no priest to ordain them as such. Maybe Walter didn't travel around his own castle and wasn't able to corrupt them with his presence. If that was the case…

Then where was all the little random food items coming from? Like the Neapolitan pasta (tastes both cheap and nasty), the shortcake (it was very sweet and catered to Leon's sweet tooth quite nicely), and the sushi (To which Leon would never eat again if God permits). They just don't simply sit at the random spots and not rot. Or get eaten by the monsters that roam the areas.

What in God's name is going on in his head? Leon shook his head to clear it of the completely random thoughts and continued on. Monsters don't kill themselves. Their allies, yes. But not themselves. Though it would make this mess all the more easier to deal with…

Gah! He was doing it again! Okay, no more thinking about random things that made no sense! There was a vampire to kill and a murder to avenge.

He stalked to an empty part of the Garden that he didn't know exist. And thinking back, Leon didn't know how he got there. He knew he just passed the corridor that led to the gargoyles…

"Ah, I see you have arrived. It is a pleasure to meet you again." Leon whirled around, coming face to face with Walter's chest. With an undignified squeak, he took two steps back and tripped on a root. The vampire lord laughed as Leon cursed the roots as they retracted back into the earth.

"What do you want? I thought you were waiting for me to arrive at your throne room?" Walter smirked as the blond human stood up and dusted himself off, his beautiful blue eyes never leaving the vampire's visage.

"Do you not trust me to keep my word? I invited you to my throne room for a battle. I can walk about my own castle and enjoy the roses, can I not?" That random thought about the sacred chapels reared its head before Leon sighed.

"Something the matter?" Leon looked at the red haired male and nodded.

"Yes. Apparently, I am beset with a question that refuses to go away. How does your healing chapels remain so sacred and pure, when you are a blood drinking demon of the night that prey on helpless innocents?"

Walter gave the former knight a glare before turning away and looked at the dark, moonlit sky. Trust a Knight Templar to make himself out better than the rest of the vermin that he came from. Even though that was what drew the vampire to the knight in the first place.

"Well, I really don't see the point in answering, since you asked so rudely. But I can show you how I can easily defile one. There is a chapel that no mortal creature can get too. I can show you how I do it." The smirk on the vampire's face chilled Leon's bones to the core.

"How about-MRPHFFT!" The blond vainly struggled out of the hugging grip the vampire had him in. The movement was so sudden, Leon literally did not know what got him until it was too late. The vampire levitated for only a minute before he teleported to a chapel that wasn't on any map. Leon was trying to get his hand around the whip's handle, but it became apparent that the roots had taken it.

Damn it! And it could have ended right then, too.

"What? And ruin the fun of profaning this little useless chapel? Please. Now, settle down and we will have some fun." Leon was still struggling before Walter unhanded him and let him push himself backwards into the water. Seeing the former knight splash about before glaring at the red-haired Nosferatu with his normally spiked hair flat against his face and eyes made red tears of laughter appear in Walter's eyes.

"This isn't amusing and I demand to know what in God's name-" Leon was interrupted by suddenly finding himself almost drowning as Walter came to settle himself on top of the poor blond. That shut Leon up real quick.

"I know that you will not appreciate this. And I know it will make our battle all the more entertaining. However, now, let me savor this delicacy and all of its facets of beauty." A semi-long and crimson tongue appeared and traced Leon's jawbone, leaving a light red trail behind. The shock of another man actually licking him stunned the blond into stillness before he gained his right mind and started to struggle.

"Now, now. I told you that you wouldn't appreciate it. And I also told you that I have every intention of enjoying it. Stop struggling, you stupid oaf. It's only going to hurt you more once we get to the best parts." Leon shook his head, eyes wide at what Walter had every intention of doing.

This was not happening. That blood-sucking devil was going to…to…DEAR LORD WHERE WAS HIS RELICS AND SECONDARY WEAPONS?! Leon's breath hitched as Walter leaned in and licked the rim of his ear. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening.

The Nosferatu smirked as he heard Leon start to chant a mantra of denial. This will be more entertaining than he thought. With a little maneuvering on Leon's part, Walter had him leaning into a corner, trying to get away from the red tongue that continued to leave pinkish red trails of fluid on his skin. The blood was rushing to his face, making it red as the vampire started to undo his clothing and kissing the bare skin.

Leon cursed his reactions to Walter's ministrations, hoping that if the vampire was going to kill him, then do it quickly. The knight was having a hard time trying to prevent any noise from leaving his throat, only to make deep, guttural moans instead. And the sounds were only making the vampire more eager to taste his prize.

With Leon distracted with the kisses, and the start of some nibbles, Walter lifted his left hand to undo the buttons and straps that kept the knights belts and clothes together. And it was a nice surprise that Leon actually had a tattoo on his right pectoral of the Holy Cross.

"My, my. I see that even one of His knights aren't so stuck up. I thought it was a sin to mark your skin with ink." Leon's face was so flushed and he could hardly get a coherent sentence with Walter tracing a sharp fingernail up and down his abdomen. When had his upper clothing vanished? And why did this blasphemous devil's actions feel so…good?

"I…I was young and…foolhardy. I thought it would prove my devotion to Him…but I was mistaken." Walter smiled like a panther before he lowered his head to lick Leon's nipples. The feeling of heat on one of his more sensitive parts made sinful lightning run through his body and create a warmth in his loins.

This was getting worse by the second.

"St-stop…Gah…" The Nosferatu was having too much fun to stop. And the little squeaks that Leon made were irresistible. Sara Trantoul was lucky to have had him as her knight, failing her though he had. And with any luck, Walter may gain a new addition to his undead 'family'.

Walter slowly moved his lips from the sweet spot up to Leon's mouth. The knight tried to bite the tongue that slithered into his mouth, but the vampire had grabbed the throbbing erection that the blond now sported. Walter grinned into the 'kiss' as he started massaging the member, making the knight groan and buck against the vampire.

Leon, however, wasn't mentally enjoying it. And he was cursing everything but God in an attempt at making his body obey him. Too bad his body told him to shut up and enjoy it. Was Walter controlling his body? If he was…oh shit, that felt all too nice to be morally okay.

Walter had, somehow again, gotten Leon's pants off to his knees, and was playing with Leon's cock directly. This was SINFUL-oh Lord, that was nice.

The blond was gasping for air when the vampire let his mouth be. The vampire lord grinned as the knight tried to do something, anything, to get him out of this predicament, but Walter's careful ministrations to the organ prevented Leon from actually forming a coherent plan. Leon's only thought? Insult the guy until he either gets tired of it or finally kills him.

Neither was working.

No, it just inspired Walter to almost inhale Leon's member and start sucking. And that was where Leon's attempts at bodily control flew out the window, screaming like a banshee. Leon grabbed Walter's hair as he openly moaned, his hips bucking into the orifice that had his member.

The vampire smiled around the cock and continued to suck the blond off. It really didn't help that Leon hasn't has sex in…ever, so it really was no surprise that his body was enjoying the feelings that he felt. And even worse, he sometimes moaned Walter's name.

Oh, Lord strike him down now.

After a few more sinfully agonizing minutes, Leon finally came in the vampire's mouth without warning. The vampire almost lost control, but was able to swallow it all. Withdrawing his mouth away from the limp organ, Walter smirked as the blond was trying to think.

"You taste very sweet. When I defeat you, I will make you my personal servant, to tend to my…more personal whims." The comment made the fire that was ready to vanish return to the knight's eyes. And the resulting glare informed Walter that if he kept it up, Leon was going to find a way to ruin this moment.

"Now, now. You should rest. This was your first time, after all…" The blond fought against the unnatural sleep, but with him being tired from what the Nosferatu had done, it was a vain battle. With the darkness closing in, Leon gave one final attempt to stave the slumber off.

He kneed Walter.

And he was out like a light.

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Leon woke up in a sacred chapel, clothes on, whip on his hip, and no marks on his body. That must have been one hell of a nightmare. One he had NO intention of repeating. The knight got up and shook himself, then checked his maps.

"…how did I get to the Anti-Soul Mysteries Lab from the Garden?"

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glad you read! and it is unbetaed. Sorry, but it isn't too bad...right?