The 'I Exist' Support Group. With…OPRAH!

"Every Christmas Eve I bring them presents. I fill their stockings, and I eat their cookies and milk, but they still don't believe in me!" Santa Claus ranted. Justin Ride slid down farther in his seat beside the Easter Bunny.

"Okay, Nicholas," Oprah sighed, for the fiftieth time that episode. "Please take your seat."

Old Saint Nick wasn't happy about it, but he took his seat on the other side of Justin.

"Next," Oprah began, "we're going to be talking to a young boy who's father refuses to believe his existence." A few of the audience members gasped. Oprah nodded, then continued, "His dad refers to him as the 'non-existent entity'!" The whole audience gasped as Oprah put over her mouth. "Justin," she said, gesturing to the boy, "please, tell us your story."

Justin took a deep breath and stood up.

"Um…I'm Justin Ride. My dad is Fang Ride and my…other parental unit is Iggy Ride."

"Aren't they both boys?" Cupid cut in. Justin nodded.

"They have horrible teeth." The tooth fairy said in disgust. "But, not the worst I've seen."

"Uh, anyway," Justin continued. "Well, Iggy gave birth to me, but Fang never believed him. Iggy even went to court so Fang would pay child support on me, but he wouldn't. Then my sister Janet was born, Fang doesn't believe in her either. And he even cheated on my…parental unit for a woman named Max." The audience gasped and threw their hands over their mouths. "Even my god-mother, Saint, can't make him believe in me!"

"Oh, that's so sad." Oprah said, putting a hand on Justin's shoulder. "And just because of that sad story, we have with us today Justin's father, Fang Ride."

A confused Fang walked out on stage then. The crowd erupted in 'boos' and Fang's face contorted in even more confusion. Before Oprah could say another word, a group of angry fangirls(including Saint, MG, Skittles, Kara, and Vera) came running onto the stage.

"Pay the child support, Fang!" Vera yelled.

"Justin exists!" They all started chanting, circling Fang.

"Send out the minkles!" Kara shouted. Vera threw her hand up and instantly a herd of minkles rained onto the stage, attacking Fang.

"Time for the weapons!" Saint yelled. She pressed a button on her fanciful 'fan fiction' remote and weapons appeared in all the girls' hands. Saint had her trust herring, Vera had a couple of minkles, Skittles was equipped with a rusty spork and a taser, MG had a bag of tortilla chips and Kara had a dagger in one hand and a mace in the other. They all began closing in on Fang, ready to attack with their weapons.

Fang shot up in bed.

"Holy crap…I really need to stop taking Night Quills before I got to bed." He muttered to himself.

Okay, I got this idea last night when I saw a commercial for...Dr. Pepper I think....I don't remember, but it had an 'I Exist' Support Group and I was like "Justin soo needs to be there."

Be aware, I wrote this today at school BEFORE I found out Fang adopted Justin.

And yes, Fang should stop taking Night Quills before bed...

R&R???