SeverusPotterSnape: Sorry for the delay. Real life got in the way but I am writing a bit more now and I'll get more chapters out soon. In the mean time this is a very, very long chapter!

deemama66: I hope I did justice to this chapter. I've never lost anyone before so I don't exactly know what it's like, the only thing that could come close to that was the whole Ianto thing. I did feel a fair bit of grief when RTD killed him which is weird coz I know he's a fictional character. I will finish them, whether they're open ended or not remains to be seen but I will finish all of them. Couldn't really help real life, didn't want to end up homeless!

Smori: Yes, this chapter is about his funeral and how Ianto moves through it. Again, I've never lost anyone so I don't know how much justice I could give to the 'grief' Ianto feels for the loss of his son.

hotflower901: I'm sorry this upset you so. It wasn't just Jack that suffered, Taren changed everything... you might not like this chapter if the last one upset you so much.

gillian gutfright: Hehehe, I like a lurker!

SpecialFaiths: Sorry, don't cry. *Hug*

reddevilpoes: I don't know. I just wrote what was in my head and it just progressed!

leonale: Sorry

Cherry-Anne Sponge: Sorry I made you cry.

katwinchester: Can I ask, who did you think it would be? I'm curious to know who and what would happen.

WickedWitchoftheSE: Still not sure about why I wrote Taren dying. Mortality, I think... and no, Taren isn't special in that way like daddy is but he is special.

Efern: Thank you. I don't know why I wrote it like that, I could just picture it in my head and had to write it.

DoctorWhoXTorchwood: I'm sorry.

DANFLAN: This chapter is about Taren's funeral and it's not just him we're loosing.

XxTypoMasterxX: Yeah it is going to get harder and not just for them. For Addie, for Owen and for Karroe.

Author's/Note: Yeah, not sure what I could write here that I haven't said in comments. This is very much read at your own peril, this is toward's Taren's funeral. It's going to be another dark chapter I'm afraid; as always read and review and I hope the fact that it's a long part makes up for lack of update for two months. Enjoy!

The light was low when he woke up, it took him a moment to realise where he was. He lay in a hospital bed and the room felt far too stuffy and hot, a quick glance down at his hands showed that someone had taken the time to wash his hands clean but mud and rock still lingered under his nails.

Slowly he sat up pushing the think blanket away and looked round, he was hooked up to an IV and his heart was being monitored. Jack climbed out of the bed, not caring about how thinly he was dressed, and pushed the metal stand along as he left the room.

Karroe was sitting on the floor outside his room, his knees brought up tight against his chest with his arms wrapped around him. It made him look even smaller and younger than his three hundred something years. Jack stared at the young Timelord for a moment; Karroe didn't need to look up to know he was being watched

"Did you know?"

"Jack..."

"You're a Timelord! Did. You. Know?" snarled Jack angrily. Karroe let go of his knees and looked up at his boss and friend

"Yes" he could have denied it, not that that would have done much good in the end. He had known and he'd said nothing so he deserved what Jack did next.

Jack grabbed the first thing that was at hand which was the metal stand for his drip, he picked it up and swung it upwards crashing it against Karroe's chin. Karroe fell back against the floor and cowered, covering his head as Jack proceeded to beat him seven ways from Sunday with the metal stand. Owen and several security personal came running, a burly guard grabbed the metal stand while two others held Jack's arms and Owen sank to the floor wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's shaking shoulders.

Struggling, Jack tried to pull away from the guards but it was no good. They held him firm and fast and pulled him back away from Karroe

"You bastard! You knew! You knew my son was going to drown! Why didn't you warn us? Why?" he roared. Owen looked down at Karroe in disbelief but his boyfriend wasn't looking at him, he was staring directly at their boss

"Because it was meant to be this way" he said simply "The Doctor..."

As soon as he'd mentioned the Doctor Jack roared and started struggling again, managing to throw off one of the guards.

"Get him out of here. Sedate him if you have to!" Owen ordered them. Jack was dragged back to his room leaving Owen and Karroe alone.

Owen helped Karroe up and into a bay for him to be treated. Karroe's eye was swelling up and there was blood pouring from his nose and split lip, Owen carefully cleaned the wounds and bandaged his bruised knuckles

"Thanks, Owen" he said as he put his hand over Owen's. Owen tugged his hand away and stepped back

"Don't thank me. A kid's dead... Jack and Ianto's kid... how could you, Karr? How could you?"

"I... please don't be angry with me, Owen, I wanted to tell them! To warn them! But the Doctor... the Doctor told me that this had to happen, that this was fixed because of Jack"

"So Taren is dead because someone told you it had to be this way?" hissed Owen "God! I can't believe you could be so stupid! I can't be around you right now, let alone look at you!"

"Owen, please!" begged Karroe "I could see this happening. That's why I had no choice... everything... anything I could have done would have resulted in the same thing. No matter what I could have done or said Taren was always going to die"

"And you're going to tell that to his parents? To his little sister and his aunt and uncle, his cousins? You're going to tell them this? I had to fucking sedate Ianto from going to see Taren at the morgue and Jack looks ready to kill you with his bare hands. Frankly I don't know why I shouldn't let him, you deserve it!"

"Don't say that" begged Karroe

"I know you're a Time Lord and will live longer than I will but I thought you were special... special not because of what you are but who you were. I can't believe I let myself fall in love with someone like you" Owen turned and left the cubicle leaving Karroe alone.

Rhiannon was sleeping when he came round. Addiena was in his arms sniffling against him, still wrapped in that thick hospital blanket, she was asleep too. For a moment all he felt was sleepy contentment before it dawned on him that something wasn't quite right. Ianto backtracked through the obvious until it came to him, he closed his eyes and swallowed a harsh sob. He sat up carefully maneouvering Addie around so he could lower the safety bars on the bed, Ianto climbed from the bed keeping his daughter safely tucked in one arm and he went to find Jack.

He padded barefoot through the corridors of the hospital, past other people who'd been caught in the flash flood. Ianto didn't know what time it was nor did he care; in the past that might have bothered him but not now. Time had lost all meaning to him, what was the point? Ianto walked, checking charts and boards as he went hoping to see Jack's name. After twenty minutes of wandering, and worrying that Jack had somehow gone as well, he found the cubicle he needed.

Jack was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling, there was a fat wad of gauze over his right inner elbow taped down tightly and his wrists were bound with thick, off orange cuffs

"Jack?" whispered Ianto so quietly, he barely heard himself. Jack's eyes widened and he turned to face him, those big blue eyes shining with guilt and shame. Ianto watched Jack curl in on himself, struggling to get away

"No. Please, not you... I can't... I'm sorry! I'm s-" Ianto marched across the room and pressed the fingertips of his free hand against Jack's mouth

"Shh, don't" he soothed Jack who was openly crying now "I don't blame you, Jack, I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault"

Ianto set Addiena down in the chair, she whimpered but stayed asleep, turning back to his lover he slowly began to undo the cuffs tying Jack to the bed

"You shouldn't, I could hurt you" sobbed Jack as he tried to stop Ianto from undoing them. Ianto shook his head

"You could never hurt me" he replied easily. Jack fell silent and he unfastened the cuffs and pushed them aside. Ianto picked up his daughter and carried her over to the hospital bed, Jack slid across making room for Ianto and Addie. The two of them lay on their sides facing each other, with the little girl in between them "Tell me how it happened, Jack. I need to know how he... how he died"

"He saved her life" stated Jack as he tenderly stroked Addie's soft hair "We must have been in the water for an hour, two hours, I was getting tired and I couldn't keep myself up. I knew that I had to find something to grab onto... the only thing was the side of the river. It took a few tries but I managed to get a grip on the side of the river bed and climb up some, it was muddy and I had to push my hands into the dirt just to hold on. I had one hand in when Addie lost her grip, I tried to reach for her but I was stuck... it would have been... she would have... but Taren! Oh god... Taren let go, he-he let go of me and jumped into the water. It all happened so quickly! Taren grabbed hold of her, lifted her up and threw her. I managed to grab hold of her arm and push her between me and the mud. When I looked back for Taren... Ianto, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..." he broke down sobbing as Ianto wrapped his arms around both of them. The last of his family.

Taren Jones's funeral was held on a day when it was sunny, Ianto woke up that morning after a long night of trying badly to avoid sleep. The sun was streaming through the windows and his mind told him that today he would bury his son.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky and it made him feel furious; it had been the rain... too much rain that had killed him and now it was dry as a bone. Why couldn't it have been dry on that day? Ianto got up, showered and got changed into his suit. It felt mechanical and it made him feel sick; there isn't a part of me that doesn't hurt... if feels like my stomach's full of rats, he thought as he went through the motions.

Jack hadn't bothered with the pretence of sleep, he'd spent the night on the couch downstairs. Ianto wished that his boyfriend wasn't putting this distance between them even though he knew why Jack was doing it. The reasons made Ianto feel appreciated even if he was missing that closeness and comfort; Jack was giving him space to grieve the loss of his son.

"Tad" Ianto turned to see Addie standing there wearing the little black dress that had been laid out for her, the buttons at the back weren't buttoned up, she was barefoot and her hair was tangled and unkempt giving her a wild, feral look.

"Addiena" he reached out to pick her up but she turned round pointing at her buttons. He fastened them up and she turned back around, her eyes didn't look like those of a little girl's anymore. God, Ianto cried out mentally, she's only three years old! She shouldn't know this kind of pain! Once her buttons were fastened she marched away to find some socks and he was left alone once more.

Ianto turned hurrying over to the sink in the kitchen as he felt the tears come, a few moments later he could sense Jack's eyes boring into his back "I need you, Jack..."

"I'm here" replied Jack, at his side in seconds with his hand outstretched

"I know you're giving me space to mourn but I can't do this without you... please don't pull away from me. I can't loose you too"

"You won't... Ianto, I'm sorry. I wasn't pulling away for you to mourn, I was pulling away because you... you should..."

"What?"

"It was my fault" whispered Jack as tears filled up in his eyes "You should blame me for Taren's death because it was my fault"

"No, no, no... please don't say that. It isn't true... it wasn't your fault! I don't blame you, I won't!"

"You shoul-"

"Why should I? What good what that do? You thinking I hated you, you feeling guilty about something that was out of your hands? Is that what you want?" he shouted angrily but that anger deflated within seconds as Jack closed his eyes, crying harder

"It's what I deserve" Jack replied with his head bowed. Ianto took a step closer, invading his space as he lifted his lover's face so their eyes met

"I forgive you, Jack" Ianto told him with a sad smile on his face "I forgive you"

Jack sank against him, burying his head against Ianto's shoulder and sobbed loud and wildly. Ianto rubbed his back until the sobbing subsided and he needed to wipe his jacket clean.

The car turned up a little before half nine, they'd all been ready to go since seven and Addie was moody and tired; none of them had really slept all that well. Rhiannon and Johnny pulled up behind the hearse and made their way to the door. For a moment Ianto thought about ignoring their knocking, pretending that they weren't here for the funeral and that Taren wasn't dead just at a friend's house sleeping over.

Jack opened the door and let them in, both his sister and brother in law were dressed in black and it looked like Rhi had been crying just as hard as he had.

"Are you ready?" she asked puffy eyed. Ianto reached to pick Addie up and she settled sleepily in his arms, he faltered at the front door. Rhiannon had left it open and he hadn't been expecting seeing the hearse and the coffin so soon. Yes, he'd picked it out but then it was just a box... now his little boy was in it! Jack held him up and ushered him towards the car. Blood was rushing through his ears so loudly he couldn't hear anything anyone was saying to him.

Ianto sat there in the back seat and he could swear he could smell dirty water coming from the coffin, he glanced at Jack but his partner was staring ahead, his red eyes focused on driver like he was afraid to look back.

Sitting there, in the back of the hearse with the remnants of his family, Ianto tried to imagine what it would be like in the church and what he'd expect. It would be open coffin and the first... last... time he'd see Taren since the flood, he hadn't even been the one to ID him. Jack had stepped in and done that to save Ianto from the pain; he was grateful for that because he wasn't sure he would have handled seeing his little boy all bloated and waterlogged.

He started, almost jumping out of his skin when something brushed his hand; for one terrifying moment he thought it was Taren's hand, that his son had somehow managed to climb out of the coffin. Ianto looked down slowly almost expecting to see a pale hand but it was just Jack's normal tanned fingers touching him, trying to be comforting. He looked up at Jack and saw the worry in his face

"Yan?" Jack whispered his name quietly, inquiring if he was okay... well as okay as one could be on the day of their child's funeral. Ianto just stared at him not sure what to say or do; what the hell was the etiquette for situations like this? When they heard that the soldiers were taking children he and Rhiannon had taken the kids and hid at the old cottage in the beacons, he'd worked so hard to keep his son alive. That's what parents did, wasn't it? Keep your children alive.

"I..." I've failed him, I let him die. Taren is dead because of me, thought Ianto.

"We're here" Jack announced before looking away. Ianto looked around in surprise, he hadn't even realised that the hearse had been moving! Oh god, his mind screamed, I'm not ready! I can't do this!

He wanted to jump out of the car with Addiena in his arms and run as fast as he could away, he could feel breathe wheezing out of him and Jack's face hovered in front of him.

"Okay" he mumbled and he got out. Addie didn't want to let go of him and that was understandable, he didn't want to put her down in case she was washed away too.

The church was old and smelled musty, and the pallbearers had already brought the coffin in and set it up near the altar. That damn box was open and Ianto felt his breath cease as he moved closer and closer to it "No" he whispered when he saw Taren laying there. All empty and normal looking

"Ianto? Here, sit down" ordered Jack gently and then hands were moving him setting him down on a hard wood pew. Mentally a part of him was begging for this to be over and another part wanted it to go on, he didn't want to say goodbye to Taren, didn't want his son to be gone.

The minister he'd chosen began to speak and Ianto blocked it all out. That night that his family was washed away played through his head over and over; he kept thinking about all the things that he could have done. All the things that he should have done differently! I wish... his mind began but then he shook that thought away; no he wouldn't go there, that was wrong! He didn't wish. Wouldn't wish.

Taren's service went so quickly Ianto was rather stunned when he realised everyone was looking at him, he looked round and Jack reached for Addie

"No" he gasped tightening his grip on her. Don't take her too!

"Ianto, you have to go up and say goodbye" Jack explained

"I don't want to" snapped Ianto still cradling his daughter close "You can't make me"

"If you don't then they'll just close the coffin and the pallbearers will take it outside"

"No, we're Torchwood. We can stop them, I won't let them take him away!" sobbed Ianto. Rhiannon appeared on his right and lifted Addiena up and away. Jack grabbed Ianto's forearms to shake some sense into him

"No, we won't stop them. We can't... it has to be this way, Taren's dead"

"No, please! No" Ianto cried. Jack turned wrapping his arm around Ianto and helped him stand, moving him towards the coffin

"You have to say goodbye" repeated Jack. Ianto looked down at Taren lying stiff and still and his heart broke even more

"Taren" he sniffled "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault..." he brushed his son's hair back off his forehead. Taren was cold and then everything changed, Taren was gone and suddenly it felt infinitely easier to say goodbye to this shell.

Rhiannon was behind him, holding Addie who was crying. She didn't have a big brother anymore, all she had was her dad and her tad... I've been so selfish thought Ianto, she's hurting too!

"Baby" he held his arms out for her and she jumped quickly across. Far too young to understand what it meant for her brother to not be there anymore "Say goodbye"

"Don't wanna" she sniffled

"I know. Neither to do I but Taren's in heaven and we have to say goodbye for now" he told her. Jack put his hand on Ianto's shoulder squeezing lightly. Ianto held his daughter out and she leaned down to kiss Taren's head

"Bye for now. You were a really cool big brother" she said before Ianto cradled her back against his shoulder and she tucked her head against his neck to cry quietly.

Ianto turned around to sit back down but paused when he saw someone sittng at the very back of church. She didn't have to be here and after signing all custardy over Ianto was surprised to see her there, he nodded to her and she nodded back. Ianto sat down, watching as his sister stood mumbling before she came and joined him. Jack stood there for five minutes; he couldn't hear what his boss was saying but he had a good idea. Taren wasn't blood related to Jack but he'd still been a son and that pain wasn't easy no matter how many children and grandchildren Jack had lost.

When Jack came to sit down, his eyes were red and puffy, a sure sign that he'd been crying openly. Ianto linked fingers with his partner and nodded, the eulogy was read and then the pallbearers came to close the coffin and carry it out. The procession followed as the small box was carried out into the sunshine making Ianto, again, wish for rain.

He almost choked at the cruel connection his mind made; the rain had been the reason Taren was gone! How on earth could I wish for it? Thought Ianto. The welshman stuck around to drop the handful of dirt into the ground before he moved back to stand beside Jack, Ianto noticed that his lover was looking at something across the cemetery.

Karroe and the Doctor were stood near the railings under a tree watching from a distance, the Doctor put his hand on Karroe's shoulder before he turned and made his way towards the gates. Karroe stood there for a moment, Ianto could see his sadness even from this distance, before he too turned heading for the exit. Jack had watched this silently before he spared at glance at Owen; the Londoner had seen his boyfriend and seemed unsure of what to do.

"Go" Ianto said suddenly under his breathe "There's been enough loss, already"

Owen nodded once then quickly and quietly hurried after the two Timelords. The Doctor was already in his ship but Karroe was just walking towards it

"So that's it?" called Owen. Karroe stopped in his tracks, didn't turn around "You're just going to go"

"It isn't wise to stay here. I'm not needed"

"Bollocks to that, you coward! I need you! Were you even going to tell me? Or were you just gonna go?"

"It would have been better than this" hissed Karroe as he turned round sharply

"So I'm your evil conscious? Maybe you need me to tell you when you're being stupid!"

"For fuck sake, Owen, someone's dead. A kid is dead and it's my fault!"

"No it's not, that's not enough to run away"

"Isn't it? How am I going to look at Ianto knowing that I could have told him? That I knew his son was going to die and I did nothing?"

"I don't know but do you really think going with the bastard who told you not to tell him is a good idea?"

"I dunno, I don't know anything anymore. All the years I've been around and I have no idea" Karroe said as he began to cry "Tell me, what should I do? I can't stay here, I can't leave you... either way this is all wrong"

"Owen could always come with us" both of them turned to see the Doctor standing in the doorway of the Tardis, leaning casually against the jam "Sometimes we do need people to tell us we're being stupid, even me. It's something you should definitely learn if you're going to accept being a Timelord"

"Can I..." began Karroe as he faced his boyfriend "Owen, come with me. I need you..."

Owen took the outstretched hand and let Karroe lead him into the TARDIS. The Doctor shut the door and then a few minutes later the whirring, grating noise of the engines echoed off into nothing.

Ianto stayed, stood still over the grave. Even when the grounds people began filling it in. Addiena swung on his hand but he kept staring at the hole

"Ianto?"

"Take Addiena home, Jack, I have to go see someone. I'll be back later" he told his partner before he walked off. Jack lifted their daughter up into his arms

"Where are you going?" he called but Ianto ignored him. His fast paced walking sped up until he was running.

"Where's taddy going?" Addie asked, Jack didn't answer her "Is he coming back?"

"I don't know. I hope so" he mumbled before looking down at the little girl staring at him with her big blue eyes. Jack plastered on a smile, bouncing her in his arms "Let's get you home. We can cook dinner for taddy and maybe if we're good, when he comes home, we can have ice cream"

"Yeah" she nodded doing the same thing her dad was doing. Smiling fakely.

TBC...