A/N: Merry Christmas everyone. Here's to the last. Happy reading!

Chapter 59: Dream

On December 25th, Kurotsuki walked through the open gates of the Hyuuga compound, following a few signs directing guests to Hinata and Naruto's Christmas lunch. Her knock was answered immediately.

"Kurotsuki! I'm so glad you could make it." Hinata hugged her and ushered her into the warm, spacious room. The little bells on her red headband jingled merrily. The silver-haired woman didn't even manage to remove her snow-crusted sandals before Naruto attacked her with another hug.

"Hey! Good to see ya!" His Santa hat sat lopsided on his head.

"Good to see you too. Thank you for hosting." She bowed slightly and held out her host and hostess gift to them. Kurotsuki hadn't wanted to turn up empty-handed.

"Thank you! I'm sure we'll love it." Hinata accepted it graciously and passed it to Naruto, who placed it under the decorated tree.

Neji and Tenten were chatting with each other, so were Shino and Sakura. Kenji and Kiba were play-wrestling with Akamaru in the corner. Kiba waved her over, pulling his little sketchbook out of his jacket. Art was their conversation topic of choice most days. As they talked, more guests trickled in. Team 10 arrived, followed shortly by Kurenai and her young daughter. When Kakashi walked in, her single eye met his for a moment. Then she lowered her gaze and greeted him politely as 'Hokage-sama.' The interaction drew a few looks. Everyone else had called him 'Sensei' or simply 'Kakashi,' but the joyous atmosphere prevented anyone from dwelling on it for too long. Soon, everyone was gathered except–

"Sasuke! You're late," Naruto said, punching his old teammate in the arm.

"Sorry. There was a shoplifting incident I had to take care of." He was still dressed in his uniform, sword in his belt.

Konmaru barked twice and began to growl. The room hushed.

Naruto held up his hands. "Hey, Konmaru, it's just me. Naruto, remember? I hit Sasuke all the time."

"That's not what he's angry about," Sasuke said, his grip tightening on his sword. "I'd forgotten she," he spat the word, "was on your team while I was away."

Kurotsuki rose from her seat on the floor. "I think I should go," she said tersely.

Konmaru launched into a fury of barking.

"Hang on, Kurotsuki, I'm sure we can work something out," Naruto shouted over the dog. "Sasuke, can you hush him, please?"

A quick twitch of his hand stopped Konmaru's barking, but he was now showing all his teeth as he growled. "She leaves, or I do," Sasuke said stiffly.

Kurotsuki headed for the door. "Don't trouble yourself. Thanks for having me. Merry Christmas everyone." As she approached, she veered right and so did Sasuke. The pair of them circled each other like duel opponents until he was inside, and she, outside. The woman turned her back on the festivities and swiftly walked away.

Naruto punched Sasuke again. "What's your problem? Can't we all sit down for lunch together? Do you two even know each other?!"

With Kurotsuki gone, both dog and master resumed their normal dispositions. He relaxed his grip on his sword and crossed his arms. "We've met. And no, I will not sit down for lunch with her. I'd be much obliged if we can spend the afternoon without mentioning that woman again," he said with finality, heading towards the dining room.

"Everyone please find your places at the table. I'll be just a moment," Hinata said, still looking out the door, eyeing Kurotsuki's footprints in the snow. A hand on her shoulder startled her. She hadn't heard him approach.

"I'll go talk to her."

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," she said, relieved. She definitely hadn't expected a near-fight in her living room when she made the guest list.

Kurotsuki slowed her pace once she left the compound. She was exhausted. After her meeting with Shikaku last night, she hadn't slept a wink. She'd gone back to her smithy and packed a go-bag, something she could grab in case he talked and she had to run. Then she unpacked it. Shikaku was a man of his word. He'd already saved her skin once before. No, better pack the go-bag. But she wouldn't need it. Maybe. In the end, she abandoned the half-packed mess next to her straw mattress and spent the entire night drawing a block of steel into an unusually long katana. The taller shinobi among Takumi's regulars would definitely be interested in the final piece. When she was finally satisfied with the curvature of the blade, it was time to head to Hinata's.

Now, her eye burned from the lack of rest and the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow. The adrenaline from meeting Sasuke again was wearing off, the tiredness taking over. An afternoon nap was in order. Another set of footsteps joined hers. "I realize you were sent to fetch me, but I won't be returning if he is still there," she told Kakashi.

"You speak of each other with the same venom," he commented, amused. "I didn't even know you had met."

She shrugged. "We didn't get off on the right foot, and that's fine by me." They walked the deserted streets, encountering no one else. Kakashi slowed and stopped at the street that led to his apartment. Kurotsuki kept going in the direction of her forge.

"I have something for you," he said, so quietly the words were almost list in the stillness of the winter air.

She stopped in her tracks, then whirled to face him. "You're not supposed to get me anything!" They were supposed to pretend their past hadn't happened. She wanted to shake him. He was manipulated, why couldn't he see it?

He was taken aback by her outburst. "It's not a gift. I'm returning something of yours. It's been hanging in my closet since... since you left."

The dress. Her anger evaporated. She ran her hands over her face, trying to rub some of the exhaustion out of her eye. "Sorry. I haven't slept."

Kakashi frowned at her, concerned, wondering what had kept her awake on Christmas Eve.

"Don't look at me like that," she muttered. "I'll survive. I'm just a bit... volatile." The woman motioned for him to take the lead and fell into step behind him. Not a word was said until he unlocked his door and flicked on the light. "I'll wait here."

"No, please, come in."

Gingerly, she did, but she only stepped far enough inside to allow him to close the door. Kurotsuki looked around. Everything was so familiar. The placement of his furniture was the same. The same crockery and cutlery sat in the drain rack. The whole space held the scent of him. Old memories bobbed up in her mind and she hurriedly pushed them down again.

He went to his room and pushed all his regular clothes aside. The back of his closet was where all his special garments gathered dust. Ceremonial ANBU uniform. Spare Hokage robes. Tuxedo. Dress. The last two items hadn't seen the light of day for five years. They were still a dashing pair. Kakashi took the dress from its hanger and returned to his front door, careful to keep the delicate chiffon from dragging on the floor. He held it out to her.

She took it.

He didn't let go. Returning her dress was returning the last piece of their past. The final nail in the coffin. It would put to rest everything they had shared, their feelings symbolically buried to be forgotten. He knew he hadn't been himself. He should let go.

"Kakashi, let go," Kurotsuki prompted softly. She could see his inner conflict reflected in his lone dark eye.

"I can't–" he drew a shaky breath. "I can't forget you," he confessed. The man pulled off his hitai-ate and looked at her through his mismatched eyes. "I've tried. 'It's what she wants,' I keep telling myself. Be professional. I know, I wasn't thinking straight around you. But that doesn't change the fact that every time I open this eye, the world is a little more blue." He sighed. "I can't help but think: This was Kurotsuki's eye. Is this how she always sees the world? How is she right now? Does she ever think of me?"

"Of course I do!" she burst out. "I'm practically in love with you, remember?" Tears were welling up in her eye. "You think I've had it easy? I work myself into the ground so I'm too busy to wonder. I make stupidly finnicky alloys so I have to focus and I can't think about you. I collapse into bed at night, hoping I won't have nightmares or worse, dreams of you." The first tear rolled down her cheek. "Of what we could have been," she whispered. Angrily, she wiped the tear away. "But that's all it was, Kakashi. What we had. It was all a dream." She yanked the ultramarine dress out of his hand, nearly tearing the fabric. Kurotsuki turned and grabbed the doorknob.

No. She wasn't just going to walk out of his life like this. Not when he couldn't forget her, and she fought off thoughts of him. Kakashi reached over her head and slammed his hand on the door, stopping her from opening it.

She jumped. His ragged breaths were hot across her ear. She could feel his body heat radiating onto her back. Neither of them moved.

Gradually, he felt his initial panic subside, his breathing evening out. When he was calm, he found what he needed to say. "Do you ever have a dream so vivid that you think it's real?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she admitted. Her hand fell from the doorknob.

"I had a dream like that, once. Years ago. I dreamt I'd see you on Christmas Day, wearing something stunning, and we would go out to dinner together," he said in her ear.

She closed her eye. It prickled with fatigue. Her imagination was getting away from her. Listening to him, so close, telling the story of their last few days together, was causing little scenes to play out in her mind's eye. Kakashi, dressed in a tuxedo, knocking on her door to escort her to Black Tie. Kakashi, showing her his favourite hangouts by the light of the summer stars. Kakashi, holding her close as they fell asleep. Kakashi, picking up her dress from the dry cleaner's, delivering it to her so she could get changed for their fifth anniversary dinner. Kurotsuki shook her head. That wasn't how they had turned out. She had run away and played dead. "When you have those dreams, you go into the bathroom, splash some water on your face, and remember that's all they were. Dreams." She turned around but kept her gaze on her feet. "Excuse me," she said. Edging past him, she shut herself in his bathroom. Kurotsuki draped the dress across the towel bar and ran the tap. The woman waited for the water to be frigid before cupping her hands beneath the stream and drenching her face. The cold eased her exhaustion a little and brought her wandering mind back to the present. She was here to pick up the dress she had left him, nothing more. She didn't owe him anything. Did she? The dress, reflected in the mirror, caught her eye.

Kakashi leaned against his kitchen counter, tipped his head back, and sighed. The moment Kurotsuki exited his bathroom, she would bolt out the door. There would be no stopping her this time. It wasn't that he hadn't tried. For a minute, when she was absolutely still, trapped between him and the door, he thought he had talked her into staying. He heard the bathroom door open. The man kept his eyes on the ceiling. He didn't want to watch her walk out of his life.

"Sometimes dreams come true," Kurotsuki whispered.

He dropped his gaze to her and he forgot how to breathe. She was wearing the dress. The colour matched her eye perfectly. The crystals twinkled, stars on a sky of chiffon. The floor length gown left her arms bare, showing the many scars she bore. Her missing eye was another stark contrast to the beauty of the garment, but it was also a testament to everything she had endured to keep her promise to him. Kakashi pushed himself off the counter and took a hesitant step. He was almost afraid that if he moved too quickly, the vision before him would disappear.

The woman mirrored his step with one of her own. Little by little, they approached each other until they met in the middle.

He suddenly felt underdressed, his dark green sweater and black pants too plain next to her elegance. But all coherent thought was banished when Kurotsuki reached up and laid a hand on his cheek.

She coaxed him to lean down, gently, gently, and kissed him. Soft and slow, his warm breath mingling with her own.

All too soon, she pulled away. He opened his eyes.

She had her hand over her mouth in shock. "I shouldn't have done that. I... I..." She flushed red.

"Was lost in the moment?" he provided hoarsely. They both knew he had kissed her back.

She nodded mutely.

"I thought you were going to leave, not put on the dress."

There was a long pause before she spoke. "I owe us a chance. At what we could have been. And I also stood you up last time you asked me to dinner so I put this on. I guess I was trying to make it up to you somehow. But my mind is getting away from me and I was way too forward with, uh, that last bit–"

"Kurotsuki," he finally managed to squeeze in, "you're rambling."

She smiled weakly. "I think I really need some sleep. Like I said, volatile." She took one of his hands in her own. "We can't pick up where we left off, but we could start over. Clean slate." They knew there would never be a fresh start between them. Their slate had been written on, so deeply and for so long that no matter how you tried to wipe and wash, traces of what had once been would always remain. "If we're both thinking of each other, might as well give it a shot."

He beamed at her. "I completely agree. We should get to the next part."

"The next part?"

"On Christmas Day, I see you in something stunning. Then, we go to dinner together. It's something people do, isn't it? When they're interested in each other. They go to dinner."

Kurotsuki nodded while trying to cover a huge yawn. "Do you think I could get a nap in first?"

"Sure," he chuckled. "How about 7?"

On Christmas Day, at exactly 7 PM, Hatake Kakashi knocked on her door.

Fuyuuno Kurotsuki answered in an ultramarine dress, an exact match to the silk pocket square folded neatly in the breast pocket of his tuxedo.

He offered his arm and she accepted. Together they set off in search of dinner, just as the pure white snow began to fall.

A/N: Thank you for coming on this journey with me and seeing it through to the end. I am immensely grateful to you and your dedication to reading Who I Am. With this story done, I would like to announce the title for my next big writing project: White, Curtain. I like to think of White, Curtain as Who I Am reimagined. There will be some similarities, since it will also be KakashixOC, but the OC in White, Curtain, is not Fuyuuno Kurotsuki. Her story ends here. If you made it this far with Who I Am, I hope you'll keep an eye out for White, Curtain. I think you'd enjoy it, with all of its improved character building, coherent world building, and much-needed dose of writer maturity right from the start. For reading Who I Am, start to finish, thank you from the bottom of my heart.