Hey ya'll.

So this idea came while watching, yup you guessed it, Juno.

Title: Edward
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: T, for cursing and suggestive situations
Based off of: Juno
- And yes, I did rip off some lines from the movie. Sue me.
Summary:I was terrified to look at the answer that had already been proven to me twice, and as I gathered enough gusto
to lift my arm high enough so I could stare straight at it, I could only curse.

Oh, and this sorry wasn't beta-ed. (: So sorry for the mistakes and what not.

Expect the next chapter tomorrow, but for now, please enjoy the first chapter.


Edward

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I. Little Pink Plus

-

I took another swig of the water jug, sighing as I looked back into the gallon to realize it was almost gone. Of course, it had been almost my fourth one for the day, but I needed to make sure that I could produce enough pee to use on that ungrateful stick. For the third time today, might I add. And it always gave me the answer I was dreading, but that couldn't be my fault. I had been thinking of suing the store, because of its ineffective pee sticks, but I'd save it for another day when I found some other convenience store I liked more than that one.

Taking a step to the right from where I stopped, I began on the trek back towards the shop. But that meant one thing, and I knew I'd have to face it sooner or later, especially since I was too lazy to go through the backyards. And just as if I had been physic, there it appeared. Right on the front lawn, since he had told me they were getting rid of this wonderful piece of furniture yesterday. Lifting up the gallon of water and taking another drink, I stared at the beige plush chair for a longing second, remembering back to that moment.

--

I looked down nervously, anywhere but those piercing coal-colored eyes that I knew were making their way all over my body. Of course, I only was naked from the waist down at the moment to his full nakedness on the god chair in front of me. Hesitantly, I finally gathered enough courage to steal a glance upwards, and was immediately drawn into the haze of his gaze.

Stepping forward, until I was right in front of him, I chuckled a bit, pure nervousness registering on my face and I knew he detected it by the way he gently grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. Using my knees, I straddled his legs, placing myself right on his lap. I still couldn't hold his gaze, and I was afraid that if I looked at him again, I'd chicken out. Not a lot of things could make me like this, but this man was probably the number one thing on my list of what could make me melt and scare me shitless in one look.

Leaning forward, so my lips brushed against his ear and I could feel his do the same to me, he ventured out and made the first move by leaving a soft butterfly kiss right beside my lobe.

"I've wanted this for a really long time." He whispered, placing his lips back against the left side of my face, before he began a trail down to my collarbone. I know I couldn't win when he began to do these sort of things, so I gave in and let him do what he knew bes—

--

A shrill whistle drew me from my trance, making my head whip to my left to look for the cause. An old woman was standing on the other lawn next to this one, holding a blow horn in one hand and a smug smirk on his lips. I narrowed my eyes in a grimace, as the old hag spoke up.

"Just makin' sure you ain't lost in some coke-induced trance, Elric." She barked, giving a raspy laugh that soon followed into a huge coughing fit for the woman. I'm sure she would've been some good looking lady seventy years ago, but now Mrs. Halligan was just an old chain smoker with fifteen cats and no grandchildren that put up with her enough to come and visit her. And hey, I wasn't about to volunteer to chat with her either, so I don't blame the children.

"Not coke, Mrs. H. You know there aren't any good dealers around here, though I'm sure I could come to you for any guidance about drugs if I needed to right? After leaving in this pit hole for a hundred years, I'm sure you've got a pretty good map of where the good ice is."

Mrs. Halligan gave one look at me, curling her lips up as if she was going to throw some snap attitude back, but instead decided against it as she shook her head and walked back towards her house. I stood looking at her for one more moment, before turning back towards the chair. Giving that heavenly piece of furniture a fleeting glance, I moseyed away and began back on the sidewalk towards the shop.

It didn't take long, like five minutes, before I reached the store. There were some teenagers outside talking that probably went to my school, but I wasn't that much of a social butterfly to go and talk to them. Finishing up the last of that gallon of water and chucking the bottle in the trash, I pushed the door open hard and went straight past the cashier with the small bell tinkling behind me.

"And isn't it the little pipsqueak. Back for another test? I'm sure that that shit hasn't changed in the last forty minutes since you've been here." The clerk snapped over towards me, looking odd in the bright yellow vest that he was required to wear. His dyed dark green locks appeared stricken and totally fake, though he kept insisting to me that it was his natural color.

"Yeah, but I think you're first two were defective. You should be happy that I'm not reporting you for fraud or void pregnancy tests." I replied, making a beeline to the tests that were made especially for men. Grabbing the first one that I saw, I turned on my heel, my blonde pony tail bumping against my back as I suddenly turned back around and headed towards the cashier. He was a weird one, probably someone actually hooked on illegal drugs that made him dye his hair and give him the street name of 'Envy'. He could call himself 'Cat Shit' for all I cared, as long as he didn't touch me or harass me with anything more than words.

As I reached for the key that opened the bathroom, Envy quickly snatched it out of my hand and held it up, out of my reaching point.

"Oh, that's funny." I mumbled, trying to reach over the counter with a side jump and grab it from the clearly taller and in control male.

"So, that's the third test today, right shrimp? No doubt about it; you're eggo is preggo." He said with a lippy attitude, that probably wouldn't be called lip to someone that hadn't spoken to this bastard before, but as a veteran to this convenience store, I could definitely tell it was lip. "Who knows? Make the 'Stang knocked you up twice. I hear that man fucks like an actual horse. Could be possible."

"How about you shut the trap, old man, and hand me the pee room key. I just drank my weight in water, and unless you want to be mopping up an accident, I'd give it here in the next ten seconds."

I could see him contemplating this thought, before he reluctantly handed over the key that I quickly pulled from his hand. Knowing exactly where to go, I headed back to the crappy lavatory just to hear Envy's voice trail after me. "You pay for that stick when you're done. Don't think it's yours just 'cause you pissed on it."

Rolling my eyes, I threw opened the door and locked it, just to be on the safe side. Unzipping my jeans and pulling them down along with my boxers, I decided to sit down for this one. The first one I stood up while trying to use the test. Needless to say, sitting down the second time was a much better idea. I opened the little yellow box, pulling out the stick that I had hoped I would never see, clearing my throat as I place down beneath me, inside the toilet bowl. It didn't take long, and soon enough it was over and the god-awful stick was on the sink counter as I pulled up my pants and was out and back in the store.

"So what's the result, boy? Positive or negative?" Envy immediately asked, as I casually leaned against the counter.

"Not ringing in yet." I answered simply, tracing my eyes over all the goodies on the counter, catching my gaze on a pack of some gummies. "But I'll take these too." I said, chucking them in front of the clerk, who followed the package until it fell right in front of him.

And after it seemed like eternity, I knew enough time had passed, but here's the thing. I was terrified to look at the answer that had already been proven to me twice, and as I gathered enough gusto to lift my arm high enough so I could stare straight at it, I could only curse. "Yup, there it is. That goddamn little pink plus sign."

Shaking it in my hand, I gazed towards Envy, who wore a blank face while satisfied eyes, which confused me. As I was about to speak, he interrupted. "You know that's not something typed on a computer. Can't be deleted or erased. One mistake that can't be undid, pipsqueak." And after that, only then did his lips move and make up into an amused face, probably enjoying every minute of my misery as I sighed, exasperated. Great, just peachy.

Paying for my stuff and saying goodbye to that bastard who I would've rather had just punched instead of waving at, I quickly made my way outside and dispensed the positive stick into the nearest trash bin. With a shake of my head, it all finally caught up to me. I was pregnant, and after three tests today, I wasn't doubting that bastard pink plus anymore.

Holy crap.


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- Mazzie