TITLE: Allies in Adversity

AUTHOR: Tiffany Park

STATUS: Complete

CATEGORY: Humor.

SPOILERS: None

SEASON: Late Season One

RATING: R

CONTENT WARNINGS: Language, a little background violence, and a few vague threats.

SUMMARY: Therapy: Makepeace and O'Neill style. The two colonels get into a bar fight and have to live with the consequences.

ARCHIVE: Please ask.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Just a little something to start the new year off right (or at least better...)

Written for the ColRMakepeaceSG-3 at Yahoogroups dot com list.

Allies in Adversity

by

Tiffany Park

Daniel rested his forehead in his hands and said plaintively, "Why?"

A chain and leather clad Hell's Angel stumbled gracelessly sideways and toppled over a chair. Daniel lifted his head to watch the man thud to the ground.

From the next table over, Johnson replied, "Because our two bosses have been sniping at each other for weeks and needed to blow off some steam." He calmly slouched in his hard-backed chair, as though watching his CO get into a brawl with nine muscle-bound and unfriendly bikers was a routine occurrence.

Maybe it was, Daniel thought, as Andrews and Henderson of SG-3 both just shrugged their agreement with Lieutenant Johnson's assessment. However, as far as Daniel knew, it wasn't a routine occurrence for Jack to join forces with Makepeace against said bikers. Especially after all the acrimony of the last few weeks. Then again, the explanation was obvious. "Did they have to get drunk first?"

"Actually, I kind of thought that was a good idea," said Johnson. "They needed it. I figured they'd both pass out before too much longer. We shouldn't have had to worry about anything more violent than some mud slinging."

"Some particularly nasty mud slinging," Sam said, wincing with distaste.

Daniel agreed. "Yes, sometimes I forget that Jack's got such a colorful vocabulary. He doesn't ever use that kind of language around us."

"And thank goodness for that," Sam said. Teal'c nodded solemnly.

Johnson said, "When you guys showed up here too, I was worried. But then I thought it might work out okay, you know, that maybe they'd just get drunk and insult each other. Get it out of their systems."

Andrews observed sourly, "Too bad those bikers came in when they did."

"Oh, I don't know if that's really such a bad thing," said Henderson. He was resting his chin in one hand and watching the fight clinically. He took a long pull of his beer. "At least they're not swinging at each other."

Indeed, they weren't. Instead, they were standing back to back and protecting each other like Starsky and Hutch, swinging fists and furniture at the Hell's Angels. Surprisingly, it looked like they might actually win. Five of the bikers were already down for the count.

The last few weeks had been difficult, Daniel acknowledged. Johnson was right, the two colonels needed to work out some issues. However, he doubted General Hammond or the base psychiatrist, Doctor McKenzie, would approve of Jack and Makepeace's methods.

Daniel looked over at SG-3. "I'm actually a little surprised by you guys. I figured you'd be in there with them, helping Colonel Makepeace out."

"And interrupt the boss's sport?" Johnson gave a mock shudder. "Are you out of your mind?"

Andrews said, "I value my life too much."

Johnson said, "We'll give him a hand if it looks like he needs it. Anyway, Colonel O'Neill is doing a great job of helping Colonel Makepeace with this little altercation."

"Besides," Henderson said, "us wading in there and mopping up the mess won't help either of them get their heads screwed on straight. This is therapeutic for them." He took another swig of beer. "And if we're lucky, it might make our lives easier, too. Yours as well as ours," he added pointedly.

Daniel grimaced. SG-3's self control about this fight had him dumbfounded. He'd always believed they were ready for any excuse to throw a punch or three, but Henderson's explanation made sense to him. The last few weeks really had been pretty bad.

Besides, he didn't have room to talk. Aside from Jack, no one from SG-1 was helping out, either.

A glass pitcher shattered against a wall. Beer splattered the surroundings like alcoholic rain. Another Hell's Angel went flying, along with a table. Both colonels were looking a little the worse for wear, but were still up and at 'em. Incredibly, both were grinning like fiends. It occurred to Daniel that they were actually enjoying themselves. Idiots.

When the sirens started, most of the onlookers cleared out of the bar. Johnson said, "Time to go." He and his teammates got up and headed for the door. The cops burst in before they could complete their escape.

It took some doing, but the police managed to bust up the fight and round up the combatants. They then turned to the witnesses.

The cop in charge started questioning people and trying to ID the perps. Johnson said, "Never seen 'em before," at the same time Daniel blurted, "I have no idea what happened." The members of SG-1 and SG-3 looked at one another in perfect accord and bailed out as fast as they could.