I Loved You Then

It was winter. It was cold. The snow on the ground outside had laid there for weeks, every so often being joined by a fresh layer in the night. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully were sitting on their couch, talking about the past, their lives and work together and how it had all started between them. The flames of the fire danced merrily in the grate and spread a soft glow across the room.

"I loved you then, you know," said Mulder, leaning back into the couch.

Scully shifted in his arms. "When?" she replied.

"When your father died."

Scully arched an eyebrow, ever the sceptic. Not a week before her father's death she'd watch Mulder kissing Phoebe Green, his ex-girlfriend from England.

Mulder caught the look and understood what it meant.

"She kissed me."

"Hmm," said Scully.

Mulder ignored her and continued. "It was all I could do not to hold you and let you cry on my shoulder. But I didn't think you would appreciate it back then, and I don't think you were ready to let your guard down in front of me then either. I had to settle for caressing your cheek, and hoping you'd know how much I cared."

Scully felt his arms tighten around her as she marvelled at just how well he had known her even after that short amount of time they had been working together. He was right, of course. It wasn't until later, much later, that she had felt comfortable enough to cry in front of him.

"I knew," she said. "I always knew you cared. Even if you had a funny way of showing it at times. I saw the look you gave me when I said I had a date not long after we met. And that look of relief when we headed back to Jersey and I said I wouldn't be seeing that guy – what was his name? Rob! Seeing Rob again."

She paused. "Actually, if you want to know the truth, I was pleased when your phone call interrupted my dinner with him." She looked up at Mulder and saw his grin. "I was a little bored," she admitted.

"Dana Scully, all these years and you never told me that before?"

"And then that awful Phoebe woman came along."

"Yeah, I could see how well you took to her," Mulder said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He kissed the tip of her nose. "I knew you were jealous."

"I was not je-" Scully started to protest. "OK, I was, but not because of why you think, Mulder. I liked what we had, the partnership, the growing friendship, everything. And then she showed up and I saw her as a threat to that."

"I know. And I never had any intention of letting things get out of hand with Phoebe. I told you at the time she was playing mind games with me. And, like I said, I loved you then."

"You had really fallen for me all that time ago?" asked Scully. "Then why did it take you another 6 years to kiss me, to tell me how you felt?"

"I tried to let you know, in small ways. Guess I wasn't very good at dropping hints, huh? And the one time I did tell you I loved you, you just said 'oh brother' and didn't believe me."

"Mulder, you were drugged up to the eyeballs on pain medication, talking about me saving the world and the second world war in the Bermuda Triangle. Really, what was I supposed to think?"

"I asked you to marry me once, too."

"But you were kidding." Scully suddenly sat up and looked at him. "Weren't you?"

"Maybe…" said Mulder. "I would have married you back then. I still loved you then. I've never stopped loving you. What would you say if I said I wasn't kidding? And that, as I never got an answer, the question still stands?"

Scully looked at him, still unsure whether he was kidding around, because if he wasn't, he was proposing to her – for the second time.

"It was more of a statement than a question, if I remember rightly. Marry me. That's not a question. And I did answer you," she said, stalling for time, still trying to figure out whether or not he was serious. "Didn't I?"

"Not really. You said 'I was hoping for something a little more helpful', which wasn't really an answer to the question – statement – I'd just put to you."

"Oh," said Scully, floored. "You remember what I said to you? Mulder that must be ten years ago now!"

"I remember everything you say to me Scully. Well, the important stuff anyway. Come on, I ask the woman I love to marry me, I'm not likely to forget what she says in reply, good or bad. And 10 years ago or not, I still don't have an answer to my statement."

"OK."

Mulder looked at her, his heart full of hope. He had not planned on the evening including a marriage proposal but now that it had, he was glad things were going the way they were. "OK? OK what?"

"You wanted an answer Mulder, that's my answer. OK. Yes. I will marry you."

Mulder's face broke into a huge grin. So did Scully's. Mulder's arms tightened around her as he pulled her to him and kissed her.