(AN)

Hello, this is a little message to all those who have been following this story until now. I'm really sorry about the constant changes in the last chapter, I think the ending has changed like, three times already, but i promise this was the last time. lol.

To all my readers, thank you so much for reading my very first completed multichaptered story, and i hope you'll read the sequel. It'll be coming out soon, once i get my plotline done and everything. heeheh. Remember, this story was just a prequil to show how they got together, the real stuff happens next story. And i promise it will have a happy ending. I personally hate sad endings, which is ironic because my own story had a sad ending. weird how that works out.

and thanks to akeboshi for helping me rewrite the ending and fix the other chapters. He really is an amazing musician.

Thanks for all your support!

All my Love.

Bright Eyed.

Epilogue

Of His Effection

I Do not Own Naruto.

But somtimes, i really wish i do. (hehe)

No...No. This wasn't happening.

Naruto stood by as Sasuke sat unmoving next to his own sleeping form. They were back by the old scarred tree and, no matter how many times this same damnable scene replayed in his head, it was always the same.

The blonde tried it all, shouting, fighting, screaming his heart out, in the end he always just broke down in frustration as Sasuke brushed pale lips against his own sleeping face, looking so sad before disappearing forever.

It was so unfair.

It was so unfair for that damn fucking bastard to look so heartbroken, so in love at those last few moments, when Naruto already knew the truth.

If Sasuke had really loved him, he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have wrenched Naruto's already severely wounded, bleeding heart out and ripped it to shreds. That would be past inhuman, so far beyond all remote possibility of love, of having a God damned, fucking brain that it was absolutely impossible. Surely it was. He didn't know how many times he'd had this nightmare, he'd lost count long ago. But even if he woke up sweating with salty tears in his eyes, he knew it had to lose its effect eventually.

It had to. This was no way to live.

How could Sasuke have possibly loved him, leaving again, especially after they had for the very first time, and only time, had sex? After finally realizing and confessing their love? Well, Naruto's love. Sasuke's... he didn't even know what to call it. Indifference? Blind lust?

The phantom heart, aching deep inside his soul tore again and again and again and again as salt pricked the backs of his eyes and the ghostly consciousness fell to his knees, right before his own sleeping, oblivious face. No matter how many times he relived it, he would never get used to this crushing pain. He would never...the salt had spilled over now; he would never...stop... he could never forget...no matter how many times this heart was broken, beaten and nearly stopped forever by those hands, those eyes, those words, no matter how many times he left, Naruto already knew he would never stop, never forget. He... he still, he would always still...Love Sasuke.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Smashing a forceful hand to the ringing instrument beside him, the boy stopped it's beeping, crushing the little colored wires with his bare fingers. Every morning just got harder to wake up to. Keeping blue eyes closed, Naruto used a rough forearm to wipe away the tears he already knew stained his face, not bothering to open his eyes, already knowing they would be too blurry to see from anyways. Three full months of this. When would it stop?

He already knew the answer. Never. It would never stop; in fact, it had gotten worse.

But that was in the past. He had to look towards the future now, right? He had to... He had to get up eventually. Naruto watched his fingers subconsciously make their way, as if they had minds of their own, down to his stomach; where the previously burning heat had watered down to skin that was always hot to the touch, Naruto sighed in comfort as he felt the flames imbedded in his body swirled under his touch, curling into the spot where his fingers touched the overheated skin. This was his only solace in the mornings, during the lonely night, and every moment in between when the grief and the memories hit him out of nowhere.

But this, his previously painful solace was apparently abnormal, and Tsunade had been doing checkups for the past months, trying to decipher what was wrong. So far, all she could tell was that he was getting taller. He'd grown about two full inches in three months, which was definitely a good thing, but it was a drastically slowing effect. He hadn't grown any more than that. But still, what could be wrong?

He felt fine, maybe just a little tired, or more like a lot tired, but who didn't these days, with hundreds of missions that still needed to be carried out? There were some who felt way worse than him and didn't have to wake up early on their only day off in months to go to a stupid, useless appointment. Damn it.

Well, it wasn't like he'd been having a restful sleep anyways.

Naruto closed his eyes, the last of the blur burned away with the swirling heat of his stomach, before flicking them open once again and getting up to shower, stopping for a second to rest against the doorway.

He'd gotten up too fast, feeling dizzy the boy clutched his new white doorframe.

He had moved right after... right after Sasuke had left. He couldn't stand the memories that hid in every corner of the last apartment. The new place was much bigger, with a living room and a single small bedroom beyond. Only problem was, he still couldn't afford anymore furniture except a worn down old couch.

But he didn't need much to survive and maybe thrive, eventually.

Once the nausea ebbed, Naruto got up slowly to go into his brand-new bathroom.

------------------------------------------------------

The sun was bright in the blue Konoha sky, a sky that was reflected perfectly in stormy cerulean eyes as the kitsune glared at opposing amber.

"Baa-san, I don't care what it is, I'm still taking missions."

The old woman glared back.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Naruto, so shut up about it already. Just consider resting more instead of training half the night. Even under normal circumstances, that is in no way healthy and until we fully comprehend what's wrong with you, you need to try to stay as healthy as possible."

Naruto huffed. He was fine, he wasn't even that tired. Well, maybe a little. But still. Could she see the sunken purple bags that lined his eyes? Had she noticed?

"So? What's wrong with me? Last time you took enough blood to run a clinic. So what did the tests say?"

Tsunade walked back to the counter and started scrubbing her hands in the sink, a deeply concentrated look on her delicate features as she headed back, motioning the boy to lie down on the cold metal bed he was sitting on, shivering.

"Lift your shirt, Naruto. The tests all came back clean."

Blue eyes widened as he felt the warmth react to the cold hands now pressed against his stomach, fluttering back before tentatively brushing forward to heat up the small wet fingers.

He was crazy, wasn't he? To think about this heat in his stomach as a thinking, feeling thing that reacted like this. It was beyond stupid.

"Ah... so, wait, that means I'm fine after all, and I was right?" Naruto grinned. For the first time ever against the old woman, he was right! He was-

"No."

Damn.

"There is still something wrong, it just must not be one of the things you were tested for." Naruto gasped a little as he felt Tsunade's probing chakra flood his stomach, she was looking for the abnormality manually. Her look of fierce concentration shut Naruto up until she reached his abdomen, where the old woman's features twitched in annoyance. She pulled he hands away.

"It's blocked by Kyuubi's chakra. If I try to enter with my own, it could cause a dangerous reaction, maybe even kill you. Or me."

The woman looked at him, her expression confused and unreadable, Naruto felt his pulse rise. What there really something wrong with him? And if there was, it wouldn't be there, in his stomach, it would be a problem in his head. There was definitely something wrong with his brain. A sharp bolt of remembrance flashed through him, Naruto's fingers wormed their way to his hot stomach.

"Look, Naruto" the boy sat up, hand still pressed against his flat muscled stomach "I don't really know for sure what's going on with you and your body, but right now it just looks like a mass of Kyuubi's chakra, which isn't good." seemingly out of nowhere, Tsunade pulled out a giant, painful-looking syringe and caught his arm while Naruto cringed at the feeling of his blood being sucked out.

"I'm just going to try more tests for now." Sharp eyes looked softly down at the boy as the Hokage removed the filled glass vile, swishing with a garnet liquid so bright, it looked like melted rubies.

"See you in two weeks." The boy huffed before nodding, jumping off the metallic bed and making his way to the door. Now, how to waste a whole day off? Hard training was how. Naruto smiled to himself, feeling a bit of optimism as he held one comforting hand to his stomach, reveling in the swirling flames.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No one had questioned him about the claw marks that had scratched his back; no one had said a word about his glowing skin, a glow that had very quickly faded into an extremely poisonous aura.

Maybe that's why no one had said anything. Sasuke had the feeling that if they had in fact said anything, well, there would be a lot less people alive in his camp. But that was months ago. He was over the entire thing, really. He'd forgotten the pain so quickly it surprised even himself.

Anger flashed in roiling waves down the Uchiha's skin as he checked the time. 6:01. they were late. His food was late. Damn it, the cheeky little shits. They were going to ruin his entire fucking day if he didn't have something to not eat in front of him in the next five seconds. Someone was going to die a very painful death. He would fit it in his carefully placed schedule somehow, that is, if he survived. A thin black eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

Sasuke very well knew this was insane, getting so worked up, especially over food he wouldn't even touch. But that wasn't the point. It just had to be there, or else it felt like his mind would explode. 6:00. 6:00. Everyday. And he couldn't just get up to look for it, then that would ruin everything.

The raven buried his head in his hands. Ever since... ever since that time, he'd had somewhat of an obsessive tic. If his world didn't remain the same, it felt like it would just fall apart. Like his face, his heart would fall apart. Wait, ha-ha, that wasn't possible.

It'd never healed.

His tiny heart was still festering, rotting in halves at the bottom of his consciousness, emitting an irritating and constant pain, it almost hurt too much to ignore. Especially in the mornings, after he woke up from the nightmares; especially at night, when he was so very, very alone.

It was like, if the world didn't continue to revolve, to seem normal, he would just make a break for it, for the Light like the last time, but everyone knew that that little slip up had just made things a thousand times worse. He was always angry. He'd brutally beaten five people almost to death. But they had messed up his meticulous list of necessities. For the sake of his glass-fragile world, his delicate mask of indiffrence, it had had to be corrected.

It had to be done.

Sasuke waited until 6:05, the usual time, before heading out into the night air to sit on his usual perch, high above the camp in a desolate tree. Here, he would think for exactly seven hours, until exactly one in the morning, before heading to a fitful sleep, where he would dream of one thing, a desolate world where he could see that smiling face darken, bright shine dimmed. And he would feel somthing thick and cutting, a slimy black rope of tangled evils wrap around his waist, choking the air from his lungs, and it was reaching for the light- so he let go. He had let go, to protect that smile, watching as the rope whizzed past his head, drowning the world anyway, even after sacrificing himself.

Then he would be stuck in nothingness until it drove him a little more crazy, and, right when he was about to explode with that same tearing, burning, lonely darkness that iced over his limbs in a visible frost, he would wake up, hot tears trapped behind his thick lashes. He'd already learned not to open his eyes until his face was covered by the pillow so the salty water would just drip harmlessly into the fabric, gone.

And the day would start again in a meticulously kept cycle.

It was the perfect hell, and he didn't even need any fire. Nope, hell on earth was exactly where he was, day after day after damned, cursed day. Sasuke's head slumped against the rough wood of the tree.

Was this what the rest of his life would be about? Driving forward to a violent end, towards a violent goal by violent means that he didn't even care about anymore? If that was it, then God, he didn't want to continue. He just wanted it to end already. Something shook the leaves behind him, and suddenly he wasn't alone anymore. Sasuke wiped at his eyes quickly, glad of the dark, before turning to face the intruder. Suigetsu didn't move away, he didn't cower at the menacing death glare he was receiving from glowing, spinning eyes. Heh. Maybe that's why he almost liked the guy.

The shark-toothed man sat down a little ways away, still not speaking, still not looking at him. They just sat, and Sasuke almost wanted to cry again. But he held it in. He was a man and he was fine, damnnit.

There was nothing wrong. He didn't feel anything but a desire to get revenge. That was all. Why did his chest hurt so much then? His heart should've been sealed by now, glued together by the same gooey mess that had held him through his entire life; so why wasn't it working now?

The boy didn't feel the single salt tear drip down his cheek. He didn't notice that burn in his eyes past the burn in his chest, where the festering had peaked for the third time today. The pain was getting sharper day by day instead of disappearing like everyone said it would do eventually.

It was too much to live with. Why...?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsunade gripped her hair in frustration, tugging sharply at the blonde roots. She just couldn't figure it out! Her huge, strong oak desk was literally piled with hundreds of medical records, some scrolls dated back before Konoha's creation, to the many different clans. Still nothing like it.

Not even one example, a condition like that boy's had never been seen before in the entire fire country. Even with all the possibilities, even with all the evidence, she still didn't know, not one fucking clue, in hundreds of years of history! Not one!

The old woman rubbed her eyes, now a blood-shot red from lack of sleep over the past few days. Well, more like weeks. Month's maybe? It didn't matter. She needed to know now. The chakra was separating and massing in one area, blocking her view completely, she feared the worst. Perhaps it hadn't been thoroughly fused? Had something gone wrong that she didn't know about? Damn Uchiha. He didn't even bother to file a report, one that could hold precious information, before leaving again. How could it be that the only side effect that had happened in three months was a rapid, unnatural growth spurt?

Damnnit. She couldn't get distracted now; Naruto's life could very well be on the line! If Kyuubi's chakra managed separate, would it break free again? Would it ravage the already suffering village? How many would they lose then?

Tsunade closed her eyes, resting an aching forehead on crossed arms, perched high on a little mountain of papers. Something like this, this (1) cyst, or was it more like a cavity? A sac? Was it benign, or malignant? Tsunade ran shaking fingers through her hair; damnnit, there weren't even any tests she could run to make sure it wasn't some sort of strange, mutant side effect of the fusing! The whole situation was unprecedented in the Fire Country, so how the hell was she supposed to know what to do?!

Wait... that much was true in the Fire Country; but what about the rest of the countries, the world? It was a big world, there had to be something on this.

Tsunade felt hope liven her for the first time in months.

"Sakura!"

The girl burst in a minute later, hair tousled from falling asleep on the couch in the next room.

"Yes! What is it, Lady Tsunade?" Her green eyes were frantic; taking in the old woman's disheveled state.

"Get a letter to the Kazekage, and every other -Kages for that matter as soon as possible! I want three teams of two smart kids sent to every country! I need you to find me some information." The gleam in the woman's eye was devilishly clever, determined. Sakura stiffened at the woman's expression and tone, "Yes, ma'am!" before turning and nearly sprinting out the door. Everyone knew just how dangerous Tsunade could be when that glint entered her eyes.

The blonde woman folded small white hands over her mouth, thinking hard. Naruto, I will find out what's wrong with you. I didn't want it to come to this, but until more information is gathered, we'll have to try surgery.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto shuddered as wind filled his nostrils, howling through his ears, ripping back his eyelids. Ah, nothing like a week-long mission to get your mind off things; if, that is, you were like him, and really, really needed to get your poor, aching mind off things.

Bad things. Bad things like surgery.

He'd been to Tsunade's office, one that had recently been completely overwhelmed by the thousands of documents, some ancient scrolls, some new books, all flooding into the now extremely crowded little space. She'd sat him down, looking more and more disheveled as the day past, to talk to him about his 'options'. What 'options'?

She'd given him no real choice in the whole matter. Basically, the threat had been this: Go on with your life like normal for as long as you last, which won't be long, or come in to the hospital after his mission for what she called 'exploratory surgery', which had just ended up being a fancy way of saying 'cut you open and poke around inside'. But that wasn't even really the dilemma, it was just what Tsunade was planning to do if she did, in fact, find something abnormal. She would take it out.

No biggie, right? So the old woman takes out whatever had been creating that comforting warmth, the only thing that got the small blonde through the night, through the morning, through every second in between. So she takes out the thing that was apparently threatening his life. That was really...logical. And yet it somehow surprised him to hear it as even an option.

Shikamaru, running ahead, signaled a silent stop. Naruto focused cerulean eyes through the swirling, dancing leaves; searching for the cause. This was a mission, not time to get distracted. They had just successfully retrieved a number of ancient scrolls from a formidable tribe of rogue-nins, and they were currently trying to lose some pursuers. Talk about a bad time to get lost in your thoughts.

A flash of pink in his peripheral vision made Naruto shiver. Sakura had practically begged Tsunade to let her go on this mission, this, a job for him and Shikamaru, was fun for the kunoichi and, after clawing her way out of the wave of scrolls and paper work, Naruto guessed anything would be better than going back to that office, even a lame reconnaissance mission.

"Okay, this seems like a good place to stop." Shikamaru dropped to the ground from his perch on a high branch.

"It's risky to stop anywhere, but we've been running non-stop too much, and we still have a long ways to travel." The lazy chuunin turned to face his team. "Naruto, go set some traps around the immediate area. Sakura, you can rest and I'll keep watch first shift. I need to try to think of a way out of this mess before we get ambushed."

The tall boy leaned back against a tree trunk as Naruto disappeared and Sakura sat against another tree, sighing heavily as his hands formed the familiar shape of pure concentration. How to escape those shinobi; were they too much to fight? Tsunade hadn't had a good briefing on their specific abilities, so they were out here blind. Even if it were to come to combat, he wasn't sure on Naruto's capability at the moment, with his medical condition.

Maybe Sakura would know...

--------------------------------------------

Sasuke tried to unclench his teeth, but to no avail. They'd been following the Konoha team in secret for a full week now, and the shock and pain wasn't getting any easier. And he hadn't even seen Naruto yet. It was all the raven could do to keep himself from getting up now, running full speed to take his blonde in his arms, holding him close and never, ever letting go. His limbs hurt, achingly repressed by a much too logical brain. Sometimes he hated his own mind, oh, wait, no, that was all the time; he hated his brain, his heart, himself all the time. It hurt so much just to know Naruto was so close, so very close and yet so unreachable.

The boy sat hiding, hands gripping marks into the landscape around him, trying desperately to follow his own logic's orders to not move, to stay hidden. His little group of people, a motley crew of ex-experiments and a few akatsuki, and team hawk, had been getting ready to destroy an opposing group when three Konoha shinobi swooped in and stole a good amount of old scrolls.

When told, Sasuke had for some inexplicable reason demanded he lead a team to make sure the Konoha shinobi left their territory, because it wouldn't be smart to mess with Konoha at their current state; which was a total lie, Sasuke alone could probably wreak havoc against the weakened village. But after he'd heard Naruto was on the team, the raven's fluttering, festering, aching heart had taken control. The boy crouched, listening to Shikamaru talk to Sakura.

"Hey... usually I wouldn't even bother to ask, 'cause it's really none of my business, but do you know what's up with Naruto? I need to know as the captain of this team whether or not Naruto's going to be able to fight full strength. We might need him to if worst comes to worst."

Sasuke's ears strained past his own uneven heartbeat to hear Sakura's reply. There was something wrong with Naruto? The raven beat back the panic that crawled up his throat.

"Uh, well... It isn't confidential... do you know how Naruto's always holding his stomach?" Sasuke assumed Shikamaru nodded.

"It isn't normal. There's something strange there, and Tsunade wants to have surgery to take whatever it is out. It looks like something went wrong with Kyuubi's fusing."

What? Something went wrong? No... that was impossible, Sasuke had done everything perfectly! He'd made sure that Naruto had been well on his way to recovery after fusing them... there was no way something had gone wrong. It had to be something else.

"Ah...so, Tsunade's going to take whatever it is out?"

"Yes. But Naruto has to consent first. Something like his condition has never been seen before, and that's what all these missions have been about. We're trying to find another case similar to his, but for now, the only logical choice is surgery."

He would definitely have to talk to Zetsu about doing some spying on this situation. Sasuke waited a few moments until Shikamaru answered.

"Have you considered that maybe Naruto doesn't want whatever it is out?"

"What do you-"

poof! "Hey, guys. All done."

Sasuke's heart stopped for what seemed like a full minute before starting again in overdrive, pounding blood into his ears, his limbs, making his skin tingle and his hands shake; all at the glorious sound of that voice. His heart, previously just emitting that dull throb exploded into sharp stinging lightning flashes that numbed his body, his senses. Oh Kami. Naruto...Sasuke felt his thumping heart dragging him out, out into the open. No, no! They would be revealed! But he needed to go; he needed the sight of those shining spikes, that sunshine scent like air.

------------------------------------------------

Naruto 'poof'-ed back into the little clearing just as the clouds parted. He'd done an awesome job on the traps; their little site was absolutely impenetrable.

"Hey guys, all done!" Naruto grinned, one comfortable hand resting on his heated stomach.

"Alright, thanks Naruto." Shikamaru closed his eyes, concentrating on their surroundings as Naruto wandered over to where Sakura was sitting. He never got to the rose-haired girl, freezing in his tracks after only a moment, a flash of recognition.

That presence- Naruto whipped his head toward a patch of ruffled bushes, just as three metallic flashes glinted in the light. The blonde barely heard Shikamaru's cry.

"Naruto! Get down, it's an ambush!" Then he was smashed hard to the ground under the tall boy's weight, only hearing the distant thunk of the kunai's into the tree beyond, just where his head had been. Blue eyes swirling, sharp with the focus of adrenaline, Naruto picked himself off the ground, heart pounding even before he'd gotten to his feet. Did this mean he had just tried to kill him?! Naruto barely heard Sakura's shout for him to get back and hide as the staggered blindly towards the bush the weapons had birthed from. What would he find? What would he do if it really was... Oh, damn. He didn't know what he would do; all he knew is that Sasuke had been there; might still be there. His freshly stinging heart palpitating oddly, thrumming in his ears, Naruto reached a shaking hand to the silently swishing leaves, pushing them back to reveal-

blood.

And the corpse of a rogue-nin lying lifeless, already looking waxy and cold.

Naruto shivered.

What did this mean?

---------------------------------------------------

The blonde squeezed his eyes closed as the clear mask was strapped to his face. He still couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to this.

"Breathe in, Naruto" green eyes stared fondly down at him, the rest of the face covered by a cold surgical mask. "It'll all be over when you wake up."

Somehow, those words that were so obviously meant to be comforting had just made him fell worse. Much, much worse. Even so, large blue eyes closed as the small boy took a deep breath of the sweet gas. It filled his nostrils slowly, like the most intoxicating flower that blossomed sugar on his tongue, fluttering his lids and blackening the world in a blissful, temporary peace. And there was nothing...nothing...nothing....beep...beep.......augh....

a dulled sting jerked in his stomach as thick blonde lashes cracked to let in a hectic world of whirring machines. The whitewashed walls were dark, splattered with a sickening garnet sheen. What...? The world was still spinning, colors blurring together, bleeding into each other to form one motion-sick, dizzy image of darkness and blood and ...Worried amber eyes blocked his view, a sting in his arm. The pale face in front of him was stained, red dripping down one side, his blood? No, it spewed from a gash on her forehead...

what was- the world spun into a circle, colors dimming, flowing together as tunnel vision took over, the world flushed downa drain of empty space. Bliss again in darkness.

(A/N) And there it is!

a bit of a cliffie, just cause i'm cruel like that. XD

sorry if it didn't really resolve the sad ending, but that's all for the next story, trust me. XD

(1)- Benigin is the medical term for 'okay' or 'not dangerous', malignant means 'bad', basically. Lol a cyst is like a pocket filled with usually fluid, but it could be somthing else.

and thats the end of my very basic medical term lesson! hehe.

Until the first chapter then! If i get at least five reviews, I will try to have it up much sooner!