Well, this time around I wanted try out a little bit longer and angstier story with actual connections to real life. Hmm, my inspiration was my dearest friend, who is my everything. I hope you do enjoy this one and feel that crushing feeling too so that in the end you can be set free. FEEL THIS. Hopefully you will share your thoughts about this one with me. I sound so depressing…haha.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

Pairing: Sasuke x Naruto

Summary: Pain, painkillers, loneliness and then that someone sat next to you. You did not want him there, but needed him to support you even if it hurt. Naruto, are you able trust Sasuke - trust that he will carry you no matter what? SasuNaru, M for SEX

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

Through The Looking Glass

Empires fall under one regime - madness. I think that is quite logical if you think back history. Yet, I feel all alone here. I am happy over the fact that no one at this university can see what I really am. I always wear long-sleeved shirts and I have my head buried in a book so that I do not have to talk to anyone. My clothes are loose and my whole appearance is sloppy - seems just fine if you think that I will become a librarian one day. I need my glasses in order to read and I need my medication, which both might actually seem like quite normal. Lots of people use medicine for their illusionary diseases, why would I not? I never wanted those little purple pills that remind me of dried plums.

I never wanted to see Doctor Amelia and her folded pants that are too perfect to even exist. I never wanted her sympathy nor did I want help. I was being saved without my consent. Everybody felt sorry for me, which was the reason why I stopped talking to people. I can fight my own battle. At the school cafeteria I always sit alone, since people do not know how to act around me. So they profoundly avoid me. Except this time.

A dark looking guy sits next to me not even asking whether it is okay for me. I look at him under my bangs, but he does not care nor does he glance at me. He has this big black backpack sort of thing with him and I wonder whether he has a mystical machine gun in it. Maybe he wants us all killed and I happen to be the first victim. He reaches for the black monster and I freak out a little. I just take my cigarettes, he says without looking at me. Did you think I would shoot you, he asks without really asking. So he actually has a gun there?

A guitar, he then continues and I am somewhat disappointed. My easy way out flew through the window although it was just a thought - but for a moment it was my truth. I keep my eyes on the plate across me; I have not touched my food yet again. You should eat, he sighs a little and takes out a knife, my secret saviour. The second the metal is out in the open my eyes glint together with it. What a fine knife it is with carvings and all. You like shiny things or just knives, he asks and I am about to choke. I did not know I was staring so concentrated.

It is beautiful, I say. I know, he says and brings the knife close to his face. Too close. Do not, I panic, but he just cuts some of his black bangs and drops them on the trail. It was hard too see, since those were in the way, he says neutrally. Did you think I would stab myself in the eye, he asks again without really asking. I just nod a little. It is not time for that - yet, he suddenly smiles. I am Sasuke Uchiha, and you? He now asks as if he was really interested. Naruto Uzumaki, but you will probably forget, I answer back. Probably, he says and moves closer so that I cannot help but to flinch. He buries his face in my hair and inhales deeply, if I forget your name, at least I remember your scent, he smiles and stands up from the table.

He takes his black mystery bag with him and leaves without looking back. His hair is still on the table and I am mesmerized from watching it. Without anyone looking, I gather those black hairs of his and put them in my pocket. I do not know why, but they stuck into my hand somehow. At home I have the urge to put the hair under my pillow.

The next day I sit on the metal bench in the park near the main building eating my lunch. Suddenly I feel another presence close to me and I take a look next to me. This Sasuke guy sits there and takes out his smokes. I feel a blush creep on to my face as I think that I took something of him selfishly and made it my lucky charm. I keep my head down and hope he would leave but he does not even move an inch. The cigarette lives between his lips and hypnotizes me totally. You are staring again, he says. Sorry, I blurt and turn my head away from the tantalizing scene.

I take my glasses off and scrub my eyes, since they hurt from too much reading. The book, he asks and glances at the paperback in my hands. It is just a book, I reply. No name, he then asks. No name, I say back at him. Hnn, he says and stands up. The class is starting, come, he says - not really asking me to follow but expecting me to do so. I say nothing and stand up. We must be an odd sight at the campus area; him walking relaxed and me as a ghost behind him. Secretly I watch his back that is wide and mysterious as the person to which it belongs. He is out of place here.

Want to get a cup of coffee after the lecture, he says. I nod although I know he cannot see it. Good, he says not even knowing my answer. I study literature, he tells me and I just cannot see it. So, a teacher then, I say. Not necessarily, he answers back. Oh. I do not have the foggiest idea what we are doing - what is this conversation we are having. Yet, we speak without words and understand each other without actually opening our mouths at all.

Our way to connect, to interact, never changes. Till today we are like strangers, but still more like friends. Is a sleepover okay with you, he asks me. What do you want to see, I ask back. The one I saw yesterday at the video store, he replies. Okay, I answer although I had not been in the store that day. I randomly pick a movie and head for his place. Just the right movie, he smiles and lets me in. I think he would have said it anyway.

We watch the movie, but I do not understand the plot. Why did that heroine do that? Why would she want to rip her own heart off and stomp on it? Maybe the movie had more depth in it than I realized or wanted to see, but I do not mind. She dies after all. After the movie we sit on Sasuke's bed and he smokes again. The air is thick with the smoke and I could cut it with a knife easily. Should I try? I lay myself on the bed and inhale the air; it tingles in my lungs, even burns. I have to close my eyes because the smoke hurts too much.

The window, he says and stands up to open it. The fresh air hits my face like a wave of pure concrete energy. Maybe he should know. Maybe he should be the first to know. I am under medication, Sepram and stuff, I say nonchalantly. I have a habit of deliberatively hurting myself physically, I conclude. He exhales the smoke and throws the rest of the cigarette out of the window. He turns to me and yanks me from my wrists. My hands feel so powerless and small in his grip.

Sasuke raises my sleeves and looks at my arms that are full of cuts and bruises. Take off your shirt, he says again neutrally and I do as he asks even though I am not obligated to do so. My body is full of scars and I feel somewhat ashamed for the first time in my life. War memories, I say silently and he trails the broken skin and markings on my back and chest. I do not know how, but my lips move on their own and ask him whether he wants to fuck me. Put your shirt on, he says and ruffles my hair. You do not want to, I ask and I feel rejected. It is not a necessity, he continues and says we should sleep.

Comments? Thoughts?