Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. More and more often lately, I've been very grateful for that.

Jump

The maul's parking garage smelled of oil. As Dib made his way through the almost deserted top floor he carefully watched the shadows and listened to the echoes. None of them, however, gave any indications of being a ghost. When he arrived at his family's car, it was still empty, as he had thought it would be. His father and sister were still inside the maul, doing one of two things no doubt, either looking at computer games or eating pizza.

This time it had been Dib's turn to choose the restaurant, so they had enjoyed dinner together at The Great Golden Dragon, which boasted the best Chinese food in the county. Dib could still taste those honey garlic ribs on his tongue! This Family Night had gone more smoothly than Dib would have dared to hope; Gaz hadn't thrown anything at him even though they weren't eating pizza, and his father hadn't said, "My poor, insane son," even once.

One way or another, though, Gaz always got pizza on Family Night. As they were leaving the Dragon, Gaz announced she wanted to go to the maul for something. Fortunately, just at that moment, Simmons beeped a last minute cancellation to Membrane so they were able to do just that.

As soon as they passed the newsstand just inside the maul door, an interesting magazine cover caught Dib's eye. After careful study, he decided that the smoky area in the corner of the cover photo had been only smoke after all, not a ghost that the photographer and editor had both missed. When Dib looked up again, he realized that they had gone on without him. In all likelihood his father hadn't even noticed; Gaz didn't miss much, but she hadn't bothered to speak up.

Dib sighed; no matter who tried to tell him otherwise, being left behind deliberately was definitely worse. As he couldn't think of anything he wanted at the maul for the moment, he decided to return to the car and wait instead of running around trying to find them. If he missed them while wandering around searching, Gaz would doubtless have something to say about his making HER wait.

Now Dib turned and looked out through the open space at the top of the parking garage wall, and a smile appeared on his lips. He wouldn't mind waiting; the fading sunset would allow him to watch the stars coming out one by one.

After pulling himself up a service ladder Dib carefully made his way to a pillar, one close enough that that he would notice his family returning to the car. It was a beautiful October evening, pleasantly cool and nowhere near cold yet. The gentle wind made a crisper sound in the trees than it had made all summer. It was still just light enough for Dib to see the colors in the leaves, colors which ranged all the way from bright yellow to deep red. Dib leaned back against the pillar; after having soaked up the sunshine all afternoon, it was pleasantly warm to his touch. With a blissful sigh, Dib tilted his head back and looked up into the sky.

The stars were beginning to appear, one by one poking tiny holes in the deepening blue. Dib relaxed still more; watching them appear was like meeting up with old friends.

Dib always began by looking at them scientifically; he knew they were the suns of other solar systems. First he wondered what he would see if he was flying a space ship among those stars; would he still be able to pick out the star he called the sun? How much further into space would he be able to see? Were there other worlds like this one orbiting each star? Surely there had to be more of them out there. "There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio... "

Before Dib knew it, he was once again thinking of the stars in poetic, almost religious terms... streetlights of eternity, pinpricks in the floor of heaven...

A deep, calming peace settled over Dib; once more he could could feel himself rising through the air, feel the ground with all its cares and woes falling away. Whenever he looked up at the stars, nothing troubled him, nothing worried him, all was all right with the -

"Jump, stupid!"

That snapped Dib's attention away from the stars in a hurry.

Sitting bolt upright he glanced swiftly around in all directions, trying to locate the poor desperate soul who was preparing to jump. Right now Dib wasn't sure how he would talk someone out of jumping, but he knew all he had to do was take a quick glance at the stars and he would think of something.

However, no one else was on the roof. Dib wondered what was going on, but only for a moment. Could it be possible they thought HE was planning to jump?

Dib leaned forward cautiously to peer over the edge of the roof. On the ground below, a cluster of people was gathering on the maul grounds. By now, the maul floodlights allowed him to clearly see only the first few rows of faces. Most of these looked at least a little concerned, but the lights caught a few raised hands beckoning to him to come closer.

"C'mon! Get on with it!"

Dib yelled, "No! That's not it! That's not it at all!" He shook his head and waved his arms in front of him to indicate no, but the crowd didn't take it that way.

"The world'll never miss another emo! Jump already!" someone shouted.

A motion on the edge of the crowd caught Dib's eye; he turned and saw a tiny red light. He couldn't believe someone was holding up a camera. The guy holding it crowed, "See you on YouTube!" and a shriek of delighted laughter burst from a few people standing next to him.

"Jump! We wanna see you splatter!" shouted someone on the other side of the sea of faces.

Dib wondered if this was really happening or if it was just some horrible dream. For too long he had known how cruel and callous the human race could be, or he thought he had. Never had he suspected that they could go this low.

His mind reeling, Dib had to lean back against the pillar for support. This was more like something one would see in a movie. He now recalled a class history lesson a few weeks earlier. One of the illustrations in the book had been a drawing of a public execution, and Ms. Bitters had taken particular glee in describing the carnival atmosphere at these events. Though uncomfortable, Dib had taken some comfort in telling himself that society had progressed beyond such a barbaric mentality. So much for that.

Dib thought of climbing down, but he was as riveted by the crowd as they evidently were with him. No, they had to be kidding. No way could they be serious, could they?

By now, a security guard making his rounds had noticed the small figure on the roof and had come over to see what was going on. Seeing the situation, he pulled out a handphone and called for the police. He wasn't very urgent about it, however. It was as if he figured that Dib would have jumped by the time they arrived.

His call finished, the security guard pulled himself, heaving and panting, up the ladder. Once on the roof however, he hardly dared to move a muscle. He began a half-hearted attempt to talk Dib down, saying all the usual things: "It's not worth it, kid, you've got your whole life ahead of you; whatever's bugging you, it's not worth this." However he didn't seem to have much faith that he could stop someone who had seriously decided to jump.

"I wasn't going to jump," Dib told him.

"Then what are you doing up here?"

Dib pointed to his family's car not far away. "I was waiting for my family to come back from shopping, and I just climbed up on the roof to look at the stars."

This got him a skeptical look from the security guard.

"I look at the stars all the time! Look, that's Orion, and over here's the Dog Star, and next to that - "

"Never mind the astronomy lesson, kid. Just stop disturbing the public peace. Look at the crowd you gathered."

"ME?" Dib's eyes flew wide open. "I was just minding my own business!"

"Then mind it somewhere else, kid. Move it."

The security guard then gingerly turned to the crowd and told them nothing was going to happen, finishing with a suggestion that they go in and shop. A few people on the edges retreated a few steps, then turning around and resumed their staring.

"Hurry up, my battery's almost dead!" the guy holding up the camera now yelled. "Come on, jump already!"

"You heard him!" shouted someone else. "Don't be so selfish! Jump!"

One by one, others in the crowd took up the chant until it sounded like the entire crowd was goading him. "Jump... jump... jump... " Together they were so loud that the security guard could not be heard even when he shouted.

By now, Dib's disgust had hardened to a furious indignation. That was the final straw. He took a step back from the edge, crouching slightly.

Suddenly, a small black trench coat came sailing through the air. The guard and the crowd's horrified gasp was quickly drowned out by bursts of applause and wild cheers.

The coat hit the ground in a storm of camera flashes but quickly crumpled to lie flat, revealing that nobody had been inside it. As the news spread through the crowd, they looked up in waves to see Dib at the edge of the roof, hands on his hips as he glared stonily down at them.

"So sorry to disappoint you all," he snarled, his voice jagged with sarcasm. "I've got better things to do with my life than throw it away. Although it's times exactly like this that make me ask myself, why in the HELL do I bother!"

Without another word Dib turned his back on the crowd and climbed down from the roof. The disappointed crowd began to break up, grumbling.

Dib paused long enough to leave a note under the windshield wiper for his father before heading right for the elevator. If he couldn't find his trench coat, he could still buy a new one if he hurried without anybody having to wait for him.

The End

(A/N) I was getting ready to shut my computer down last Wednesday when I noticed this news item. For three hours on September 27, police tried to talk a despondent teenager out of jumping off a roof. Meanwhile a crowd gathered, of which a small but vocal minority baited him on until he finally did just that. Then some of them broke through the police ribbon to take photographs.

I'll just say I'm not surprised and leave it at that.