Chapter Twenty-Three: Eschew Obfuscation

The sun was rising. I was lying on my side, fully clothed, on top of the blankets on my bed. Everything I owned was in a single, navy suitcase by the doorway. It was a bit sad, when I thought about it, but I didn't really have that much stuff of my own. It was just clothes and books, mainly. Useful, though, for when I had to get out of a place in a rush. Like now. It was almost time for me to go and talk to McGonagall about leaving. I wasn't sure how she'd take it, but I didn't think she'd stop me from leaving if it was something I wanted to do. Even if she told me to stay, I could leave secretly. Run away, as it were. But I wasn't running away, per se. I had problems that wouldn't magically be fixed by staying. Tall, pale problems that were called Severus Snape. Him and his stupid words, saying mean things and making me sad.

The rose was still in the vase by my bed. I drew it out and looked at it. It was beautiful, the outer petals curling outward slightly. It was so stupid, when I thought about it. Just a dumb flower. It would be dead in a week. I threw it across the room in a fit of anger, cursing Johnny and his stupid proposal. If only he hadn't asked me to marry him. If only he hadn't loved me as much as he did. If only I'd loved him as much as he loved me. What had been his exact wording in the letter that came with the rose? Until time itself ceases to be. It was so poetic, kind of unlike him. I took the note in my hands and read it over for the millionth time, smiling slightly at his wording. You will simply have to endure the few words I've retained, which I deeply hope will show you just how much you mean to me. Just how much you mean to me. It was so sweet and lyrical, I loved that about him. He was so sweet. Nothing like that horrible Severus, who was always trying to cut me down and make me feel like crap. There was no way Severus would ever say something as sweet as this to me.

Until time itself ceases to be.

Oh.

Oh dear.

It was him.

Fuck.

Oh, bloody hell. I'd been so stupid. How could I have been so blind? It was so obvious, now that I thought about it. There must have been something terribly, terribly wrong with me to have prevented me from realizing the truth. Either that or I'm just as dense as he always said I was. I felt like a word-class fool, to have been in the dark for so long. A knock at the door interrupted my stream of self-pitying thoughts and I jumped in surprise. I wasn't expecting anyone so early in the morning in the school holidays, who could it have been? I rolled quickly off the bed, aiming for a graceful land on my feet, but instead I fell off and hit my head on the sharp corner of my bedside table. I let out a loud stream of expletives as my head seemed to split apart, clutching my skull and scrunching up my face in pain. Whoever was at the door knocked again, louder this time.

"I'm bloody coming! I've just sustained a serious head injury!" I called, staggering over to the door, still holding my head. I swung it open, having utterly no idea who on earth I would find there. Indeed, it was the last person I thought I'd see. It was McGonagall.

"I apologize for interrupting your… head injury," she said, looking quite bemused. The pain in my head was growing; I kind of wished she'd stop talking. Every word seemed like a knife, twisting into my brain. "Severus seemed quite insistent that I speak to you immediately."

"Oh, does he? Probably wants to hasten my departure," I scoffed, before remembering what I'd realized only two minutes previous. My stomach twisted around and I felt quite queasy. "I mean… why?"

"Well," she said, and glanced at my empty room and suitcase by the door, "He seemed to think you wanted to leave Hogwarts. I can see he was correct."

"I… did, yeah, but… I don't know. It's hard to be around him sometimes." It sounded feeble and petty when I said it out loud, but it had seemed a lot worse a few hours previous.

"I understand," McGonagall said, nodding and cracking a half-smile. "He can be difficult. I daresay you've made quite an impression on him, though. He seemed very insistent that I convince you to stay."

"Well, maybe I don't… I don't want to," I said, feeling quite dizzy. The sick feeling in my stomach worsened and my head started to spin. "Maybe I want to leave… for teaching… I mean, I want to teach him a lesson. Stupid Sev'rus."

"Are you feeling okay, Raphaela?" The words came to me slowly and thickly, as though they were made of cream. "Oh my, is that blood?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," I managed to stammer out, before McGonagall's concerned face before me turned black and I fell to the ground.

I heard voices all around me, speaking in a language I didn't understand. Bare moments later, I realized it was English. One voice was high-pitched and angry-sounding, the other somewhat lower but equally furious. I tried hard to tune my ears to hear them, but it was still gibberish. I hoped I hadn't lost my capacity for language when I hit my head. That would have been quite horrendous, never to regale anyone of tales of my adventures again. I'd have to get one of those thingies that talked for me, and they were probably really expensive, and always sounded a bit funny. Oh, wait, glorious day! I could understand the words again! I concentrated once more, and managed to make out what the people were saying.

"…Don't see why I can't see her." This was the lower voice. It seemed vaguely familiar to me.

"Because she has sustained a very serious head injury, Severus. There was no brain damage that I could detect, but she still needs complete bed rest. I'm afraid visitors might overstimulate her in her weakened state. Nobody sees her."

"Overstimulate, Poppy? What on earth do you think I'm going to do, bring her a circus?"

"I'm sorry, but this is final. No visitors until she wakes up."

"I'm awake," I said softly, opening my eyes slowly. I was in the hospital wing, and a quick scan of the other beds told me that I was the only patient. My head didn't hurt anymore, but it felt very strange. I reached a hand up to touch the wound and found it to be bandaged thickly. "I'm fine."

"See? She's fine," said Severus, pushing past Madam Pomfrey and storming over to me. "Merlin's beard, Raphaela, what do you think you were doing? You can't just crack open your skull whenever you feel like it, you know, people worry."

"Like you?" I laughed weakly. "You don't worry. You ponder."

"People ponder," he said, narrowing his eyes before flopping down on one of the uncomfortable-looking visitor seats. He leaned forwards, elbows on knees, and rested his chin on one hand. "Are you going to leave?" he asked quietly. I didn't quite have an answer for that. I was so sure I wanted to leave, but that was before I'd found out about him. I had to rethink a lot of things. I didn't reply, I just looked at him. "It's probably for the best if you do, since you'll be married soon. You'll be far too busy for a teaching position."

"And that's what you thought when you made McGonagall convince me to stay?" I asked, grinning. His eyebrows rose and I could see his jaw clenching. He looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"I see that Minerva's word of confidence is not worth much," he said, leaning back. "However, I concede that she never gave such a word. I simply assumed that it was not the kind of thing that one was flippant about discussing… with certain people."

"Ahh, you should never make assumptions," I said, waggling a finger at him. "Like, you shouldn't assume that I'll understand anything unless it's spelled out for me, Mr. Until-Time-Itself-Ceases-To-Be." He actually turned bright red at this, and seemed to draw back into himself, as though he wanted nothing more than to hide under one of the hospital wing beds. "And you shouldn't assume that I'm going to marry Johnny. I never said I was going to."

"…Oh," was all he said, still looking horrifically awkward. "Well… this is… an interesting development."

"Okay, Mr. Understatement," I laughed. "I'm not marrying him. We broke up, actually." For some reason, I felt quite pleasant in that hospital bed. I was happier than I'd been in a while, and I was regaining some of my old habits, like the one where I never stop talking to people. "We just weren't right for each other. But I guess it's good that we figured that out now, rather than after we were married, or something like that. I'm just… looking for something a bit more extraordinary."

"Is that so?" Severus said, with a mildly interested look on his face. He looked slightly less uncomfortable, but I still wouldn't have been surprised if he'd pulled up his cloak to cover his head. Actually, I would've, but it'd still be bloody funny.

"I think it's you, Severus," I said, feeling quite embarrassed myself. It had taken me a long time to realize it, but I guess I was never the sharpest wand in the store. It took me a long time to figure things out, usually. I mean, I'm not stupid. I'm just terrible at putting two and two together, sometimes. And now that I'd had a chance to think about things, and to think about what I really felt, it was as clear as crystal. Maybe it had to be knocked into me by a vengeful table edge, but my head injury had certainly helped me see what was right in front of me. "I think… I don't know. I think that you're quite… lovely. More than lovely, in fact. Quite excellent."

"Oh," he said again, nodding slightly, but I saw that his jaw was still tightly clenched. "Well, indeed, I must say that you have grown on me somewhat."

"Like a fungus," I interjected, smiling broadly. "I knew it."

"Er… yes. To use my own words, like a fungus. A fungus that is quite lovely. Quite excellent."

"An excellent fungus," I said, laughing slightly. "I suppose that's the best I'll get from you."

"I wouldn't hold out for better," he said, reaching forward and taking my hand. It was different with him to how it was with Johnny. With Severus I kind of felt lovely, like nothing really mattered except us. It was a nice feeling. "You'd be waiting a while."

I smiled. Sure, he was a horrible person. He delighted in tormenting small children, and gave poor marks to those he disliked. He was a bitter, twisted man who had long forgotten how to be nice to people. But he was my horrible person. And I'd never really liked small children anyway.

"So, are you going to leave?" he asked quietly, looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "Because I think you'll make a wonderful Potions Master."

The answer was obvious. It wasn't like I had anywhere else to go, really. Or anywhere that I had to be. The only pressing appointment I had was with Severus, right now. Nothing else really seemed to be important anymore.

"I'll be anywhere you are."

A/N: Wow! It's over! How unexpected! I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I do feel a bit at a loss now that it's over though. I really like Raphaela, even if she is completely stupid sometimes. And yet... A SEQUEL IS IN THE WORKS!

And I'm very, very sorry for all the horrific fluff in this chapter. I tried to make it as non-cliché as possible, but you know how it is.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the sequel idea. With the rate I write, it won't be out for ages (I started this story a year and a half ago) but I'll put some work in if I have enough motivation. Also tell me how you liked this story! And tell me if there's anything I could do better in the sequel. You guys have all been so sweet to me through this story, thanks so much for reading. :)