Kou Shuurei, Kochou realized as she sipped tea with the young government official, was the type of girl who would never be considered beautiful. She was, when she put the effort in, passably pretty, but at first glance she was no more attractive than a moderately priced china set, lingering in a window. Her beauty was one which could not be realized in mere moments. It grew on the people surrounding her, like ivy winding its way up the side of a tree.

Kou Shuurei's beauty came from her mind—her cunning intelligence, bright spirit, and motherly persona. Her beauty came from deep within, and would not wrinkle and fade with age. In a way, that beauty was a blessing beyond all blessings, but frequently at times such as these, it was a curse upon the young, motherless government official.

"Do you love him?" Kochou asked quite seriously.

Shuurei gazed up at her with wise yet uncertain eyes. "I do, but I also love my job as a government official. If I can do that, is there really room for love?"

Kochou sipped the tea Shuurei had prepared for the two of them, and closed her eyes, savoring both the sweetness and the slightly bitter aftertaste.

She herself had never had room for love. Kochou had never been one of those naïve girls who mistook carnal pleasures for deeper emotions. Her first sexual experience had been when she was sixteen, living with her family just outside of Kiyou. They were neither well off nor poor, neither extremely happy nor extremely sad. At the time, Kochou had known nothing of the intimacy between two people; she only carried within her the awareness that members of the opposite sex and, less commonly, the same sex, stared at her with hungry eyes.

She had enjoyed the attention, enjoyed the way merely turning a certain way or allowing her robe to slip from her shoulder garnered such attention from the populous. Kochou had not flaunted her figure, but at the same time she knew she was considered beautiful and used that knowledge to her advantage.

There had been a boy living near her with honey colored hair and dark eyes, who made all the girls blush. When he walked past Kochou received a taste of her own medicine. Her eyes would linger on his broad shoulders, his strong jaw, and his confident walk, and a warm, irresistible heat would settle in her center, beckoning to her. Her hands would feel hot and dry, and her head would spin. Every sensation was multiplied, and she had wondered what it would feel like to feel him run his hands over her body.

Their first time had been in the woods surrounding the city, underneath a large, unfamiliar tree with the excuse of chores to cover their absence.

When their lips met the first time, his had been cold and Kochou had barely resisted the urge to pull away, but then he had slipped his tongue into her mouth, and opened a world of undiscovered pleasures.

Even when he had stripped off her robe, even when his hands wandered her body, there had been no talk of love or marriage. It was only afterwards, as they slipped their clothes back on and prepared to head home, that Kochou even thought of anything other than pleasure.

"Do you love me?" She had asked with baited breath.

"No," he had replied, his face turned away from her, as if in shame.

She then released her breath. She felt free and open, like a bird in the sky.

"Good."

She did not miss love, did not have room for it in her life until ten years down the road, when she was walking down the streets of Kiyou during the daytime (an oddity in itself, that she should be away from the lantern lit, hedonistic world to which she'd taken such a liking) and seen a young couple, smiling shyly at each other under the shade of a sales booth.

She could feel the warmth between them, warmth she knew she'd never felt, one she knew she'd never feel, and she thought 'this is what I'm missing.'

It was then that her heart ached.

"A life without love," she informed her surrogate daughter, "is a very lonely life to lead. That doesn't mean it is without its values, but Shuurei-chan, when you grow old and alone and can no longer perform your duties as an official, what will make you feel warmer, your previous accomplishments, or a warm home and somebody who loves you?"

Shuurei stared at her, and for the first time, Kochou found it hard to meet the girl's eyes. Kochou was afraid she might find pity, the one emotion she would not tolerate. Kochou's life may have been unusual, might have been unpleasant at times, but it was a strong life, and she would not allow even Shuurei to look down on her.

Instead she found profound understanding in that girl's eyes. Understanding and sadness. Shuurei turned away. Kochou already knew the girl's decision before she left. That was why she was not surprised when, that very week, word of the emperor's new wife flooded the streets. All she did was smile.

………

In Kochou's profession, there were good nights and bad nights. Good nights were nights when she found a handsome and agreeable man with which to spend the night. Bad nights were when people she was revolted by managed to scrounge up enough money to earn a night with the famous Kogarou lady.

Kochou's nights with Ran Shuuei were always good nights.

Ran Shuuei had first come to the Kogarou just before he took the National Exam. Even back then he'd been handsome enough that Kochou was surprised he felt the need to pay.

Charming and skilled, Kochou found herself looking forward to the nights he sought her company. She felt no love towards him, but there was a certain affection that came to grow between the two of them. She knew the young Ran's body better than anybody else. She learned his weaknesses, his likes and dislikes, how to pleasure him, how to insure that he came back soon.

Even so, when she saw the green haired scholar Shuuei had attached himself to—though neither Shuuei nor the aforementioned official had realized it yet—she had to hold back her laughter.

Li Kouyuu, the child prodigy, was not the type of person Kochou had thought Shuuei would ever find suitable. Hardly elegant or delicate, he was gorgeous in his own right; a little rough around the edges, but definitely not someone Kochou would refuse.

There was a lightness between the two, whether it was in the way they squabbled incessantly, or the way they seemed to blend into one another until even Kochou, with her practiced eyes, could not tell where one ended and the other began.

Kochou knew it from the way Shuuei's eyes roved over Kouyuu's body when Shuuei thought nobody would notice. She knew it from the way Kouyuu's eyes constantly wandered to Shuuei, full of trust and confused affection.

That connection between two people was something that made her heart beat viciously in her chest. The way they followed each other, trusted each other; it made her envious and at the same time filled with a hollow sort of happiness.

That was why she had only laughed when a surprisingly bashful Shuuei had come to pay off his debt to her, as well as to inform her that he would no longer seek out her services, and that if he did she was to smack him.

Kochou had leaned forward and pressed her lips to Shuuei's. It had been a lazy, familiar kiss, and she had tasted him on Shuuei's lips.

"That one was on the house," she informed him with a smile.

"The famous Kochou, handing out free kisses," Shuuei teased. "What will people think?"

"Only for my best customers."

She knew she would never see him again.

Kochou nearly had to bite her tongue to stop herself from bursting into tears of laughter when a furiously blushing Kouyuu came to her mere hours later.

"You want me to tell you how to please Shuuei?" Kochou asked in slight bemusement.

If Shuuei were the man she remembered, he'd find no difficulty in 'teaching' Kouyuu all there was to know. In fact, he'd enjoy it, probably a bit too much. As humiliating as visiting the red light district was for the prudish young man, the thought of embarrassing himself in front of his long time friend most likely stung more.

"Why? Are things going badly?"

"No! Not at all! It's just…" Kouyuu looked like he might explode from embarrassment. It made him look nearly irresistible, and suddenly Kochou understood why Shuuei took such pleasure in teasing the young man. Kochou crossed her legs, delighting in the blush that stained Kouyuu's face at the sight of her bare skin. If Shuuei hadn't already claimed him, Kochou might have taken Kouyuu into her room to teach him the pleasures of the flesh.

"I don't think I'll rob Shuuei the pleasure of being your tutor," Kochou responded, ignoring his sputtering. If that boy got any redder he'd pass out. That would be interesting to say the least.

"But," Kochou slid over to Kouyuu and whispered a very special secret into his ear.

The next day, she received flowers and a note of appreciation from Shuuei.

………

Growing older was never a fun thing, Kochou thought as she rolled her neck in a vain attempt to disperse the pain gathered there. She glanced in the mirror, tracing the beginnings of lines that marred her once perfect skin. Her voice, once smooth, low, and seductive, had started to grate. Her eyes felt weaker, and she had trouble reading fine print. One by one, the parts of her body were failing her, and month by month, her beauty faded. Kochou only wondered where life would take her next. When her beauty faded, and she could no longer attract men to the Kogarou, what would she do?

Her employer, a sweet but slightly dull man, smiled at her from behind his desk.

"Is there something you need, Kochou?" He asked, always eager to please the most beautiful, and therefore profitable, woman in the Kogarou.

Karin, she thought sadly, what would you say if you could see me now?

"No, there is nothing…" She trailed off, her mind suddenly blank. "I should rest. I need to build up my strength for tonight."

The man smiled and nodded. Kochou walked away from him, but she did not return to her room. She needed no rest. Instead, she walked down the streets of Kiyou, admiring the changes that had occurred over the past few years. The children on the streets were plumper, the merchants seemed much happier, and even the elderly walked with a certain pride amongst them. The emperor and his wife had insured peace and prosperity amongst the people. Year by year, they slowly moved towards a new country, a new time.

In her mind's eye, Kochou could remember the young, feminine emperor who had spoken so confidently. She could picture the cute little girl who demanded to work there, but only during the day—she had to run home and cook dinner!

Kochou held up a hand and laughed. All the memories she had, all the amusement, all the sadness, all the pain; it overwhelmed her and yet it lifted her up to a place where no one could touch her.

She didn't even realize that she was crying until her vision blurred in front of her and her throat become hot and scratchy.

When you are wearing your make up you will never cry, she had once told Shuurei, because even a few tears will ruin it!

And yet tears poured down her face, stripping away her battle armor until there was nothing left separating her from the world. All her defenses had been stripped from her; all her confidence had faded.

She wanted to… She didn't know what she wanted anymore. Someone who loved her? Someone to take care of her? No… She merely wanted to rest.

………

Nobody looked for Kochou after she disappeared. At first, the Kogarou suffered without her leadership, but there were plenty of beautiful girls, plenty of cunning women to take her place.

Nobody cried for Kochou after she disappeared. Those who might have had no idea that their former friend had left the red light district, and nobody else had ever seen her as more than a tool, a mere object.

Everybody remembered Kochou's elegant beauty; the way she held herself, the radiance of her skin, her flawless figure, her gorgeous eyes.

It was a shame and a pity that they remembered nothing else of the amazing woman who had once had the world at her beck and call.