Hehe. I'm back.

I'll talk more next chappy. I have to go to bed.

I hope you all enjoy!!!

mmb

Chapter One:

Somewhere Between Whole and Broken

Cass considered herself to be a very simple person. At least the way she thought of it.

She suspected that she was very complex, according to Teddy. She hid the truth about her family instead of just trusting Teddy not to look at her like she was somewhere between whole and broken. She never let anyone know if she was hurting instead of letting herself be vulnerable for just one moment. She denied, denied, denied that she was in love with Teddy till it almost broke her.

She lied about loving him instead of just letting someone close enough to hurt her.

To Teddy, none of this was simple. But Teddy also told the truth about everything. Truth was contained inside Teddy about as well as sand in the top of an hour glass: it was only a matter of time—a short one, at that—before all of it would spill out. He simply didn't know how to operate any other way. Cass had no doubt that Teddy had only discovered that he loved her within a day, perhaps even hours, before actually telling it to her that night.

To Cass, he was the truly complex one. She didn't understand how he could trust that the world would simply be fine when he actually told the truth. She didn't have faith like that, and didn't know how to find it or where. And she didn't understand how he could have it, and so ardently, without even trying.

To Cass, her way was simple. Self-preservation. Everything she did was for self-preservation. She didn't trust, didn't have faith, accepted the crappy status quo and she lied. And she was always safe. Maybe she wasn't happy. But she was safe.

But when even that ceased to be simple, there was only one thing that she could turn to for simplicity.

The dawn was cool and fresh, exactly the way she liked it. The breeze moved so gracefully and gently, playing with her hair and making her bangs dance over her eyes. The sun was just barely peeking over the trees in the distance, casting a warm golden glow over the lightly frosted grounds.

October had come quickly, and November was approaching even quicker. Everything seemed to be moving so fast.

It had been a month and a half since she had first even suspected that she was…. She sighed at herself for not being able to even think it. If she was, she was about two months along. She hadn't wanted to know; Josie had forced her to take the test. The way she saw it, if she didn't know, it wasn't happening; Josie knew better.

But up here, on the roof, with the whole world lying in a silent rejoice, the air caressing her skin as soft as velvet, and the sun sneaking further into the sky, she could forget about that for just a little bit.

She closed her eyes, feeling the distinct roughness of the strings under her hand. It was a sixth sense to her, feeling her way this way. She let it spread from the spot in her chest that had that warm feeling she always got from this, reaching to the very tips of her fingers.

Taking a deep breath very slowly and blowing it out very slowly, her breath making little clouds in the crisp morning air, the feeling of the warm morning sun on her face, she strummed a single chord. The gentle sound hit her ears so sweet and soft.

And then she played a song she knew by heart, one of the only ones. And the words bubbled up on her lips without any effort of hers.

"Just like a star across my sky," she sang softly, to no one but herself and the sunrise. "Just like an angel off the page… You have appeared to my life… Feel like I'll never be the same…"

And just like that—even though she knew that Teddy and the test were both laying downstairs, and while that was all they were doing for now, she'd have to deal with them very soon—all was simple again.

Even if it was only for a moment.

Consciousness came to Teddy very slowly. He first became acutely aware of the rather bright puddle of sunlight that seemed to settle only in his eyes, but—rolling on his side—he found it easy to ignore. His next, very drowsy thought was that his pillow was so, so soft.

It was about five more entirely insignificant thoughts like this one before this:

Something was missing.

In his partially conscious state, Teddy furrowed his brow. He drew in another slow breath through his nose, detecting only the faintest traces of the scent of jasmine.

Blinking against the morning sunlight, he tried to find her. He then realized why the scent was so faint; she wasn't there.

He sat up, looking around the apartment. She was nowhere to be seen.

He sighed. She was on the roof again.

He was still too groggy to be up and about, so he let himself fall back onto his pillow with a plop and a sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

A smile snuck onto Teddy's face before he realized what he was doing. He was still basking in the post-'I love you' euphoria. He still hadn't been able to properly wrap his mind around the fact that he and Cass were together—whatever that meant. Not that he even cared. Titles weren't important. He'd already fought the worst of the battle. She loved him. It didn't matter if she wasn't his girlfriend or whatever yet. He was more than content to just be with her.

Last night, they'd done something they hadn't ever done: they had slept together. And not in the figurative sense, as had been so many times before. Teddy had gotten Cass to calm down, but nothing he could do could get her to look at that test. Instead, the two had just laid down together.

He had never found such happiness from just being close to someone. But it had meant so much more than all the rest. Just pulling her close, feeling her warmth on his skin, feeling her hair brushing against his cheek, knowing that he made her feel safe, it was more than he could've known to ask for.

As the last waves of dawning consciousness washed over Teddy, he finally rose from bed. Without a single sound except for his own feet padding across the hardwood, he made his way to the roof ladder, and climbed up slowly. Once at the top, he gently pushed up the hatch and peeked out, soft sweet music filling his ears.

"Still I wonder why it is," he heard Cass's voice sing so softly and nicely, strumming the guitar with an offhanded grace, "I don't argue like this… with anyone but you… We do it all the time… blowing out my mind…"

He smiled to himself. This talent of Cass's was the one thing she thought he didn't know about her, and he actually did. She was a fortress, with all her secrecy, and as he'd so forcefully realized the day before, there were a million things he didn't know about her. But this sole thing, he knew about this.

As he snuck up beside her, careful not to make a sound. But the truth was he could've brought up a marching band and Cass wouldn't have been any the wiser. She was in it, in her own little world, where nothing and no one belonged but Cass.

Creeping up behind her, Teddy's eyes found the sweet, tender skin of her neck, so perfectly exposed. He leaned his head in, planting a quick gentle kiss there.

History, as they say, has a way of repeating itself. That being said, Teddy still hadn't seen this coming.

Surprising Cass was something that should be done at one's own peril. However, when you were stupid enough to ignore or forget that maxim, this happened:

Cass produced the girliest, most high-pitched yelp he'd ever heard, jumping about a foot. Fortunately the roof was on only the smallest incline because when Cass jumped, she dropped the guitar with a discordant bong but not before the neck hit her squarely on the forehead.

"Ow," she grumbled, rubbing her forehead.

"I'm sorry," Teddy said, laughing softly as he pulled her hands away from her forehead to check if there was a bruise. "I didn't think I'd get that kind of reaction."

"That was a joke, right?" Cass shot back, looking at him as if he'd suddenly succumbed to short term memory loss. "You have met me before, haven't you?"

"How come you came up here?" Teddy said, ignoring her two clearly rhetorical questions. "What if you had fallen off?"

"I'm not gonna fall off," she said with a dismissive eye roll.

"You say that like it's a completely impossibility," he responded. "What if you had? You can't do stuff like this now."

"Now?" she repeated blankly. "What's so different about now?"

His eyes met hers in an almost telepathic look, parting the gaze to glance at her stomach.

"Shut up, Ted," she said the moment her consciousness caught the meaning of his glance. She looked away from him, taking up her guitar again.

"Cass, we'll have t—"

"Shut UP!" she shouted at him, breaking the stillness of the morning with a proverbial hammer. Her voice hit Teddy like a sonic blast, seeming to send shock waves in all directions. "Just shut up, alright?! I don't wanna talk, or think, or anything! Just shut up!"

Cass's face was flushed from shouting, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Don't you get it?" The tone of her voice dropped a few notches, gaining a grave seriousness in place of the volume. Her eyes were darting from one of his to the other and back again frantically. "Do you even remotely get this? I don't wanna go back down there! I don't want to see it, and I don't want to know what it says! Because the cold hard truth is that I know I'll be pregnant!"

"And what if you are?!"

The words left Teddy before he even knew what he was saying, and hit Cass like a bucket of ice water. Her mouth hung agape, her eyes wide with shock.

"You're not serious, are you?" she said breathlessly.

That—Teddy thought as he stared back at Cass, trying not to look as conflicted as he felt—was an excellent question. He didn't know what the hell he wanted. He knew he was only nineteen, and that he had no clue how to be a dad, and that he was scared beyond reason. But every time he told himself this, it never worked. He kept picturing a little boy with hair like his and eyes like Cass… or a little girl with Cass's smile…

"Ted!" Cass said, bringing Teddy back from his daydream. "Snap out of it! We cannot have a baby!"

"What are you going to do if you really are pregnant, Cass?" he asked her seriously. She just stared right back at him, trying not to crack.

"I can't do this," she sighed, burying her face in her hands. "I can't look at it."

"Yes, you can," he said.

"No, I can't."

"Yes, you can," Teddy said heavily. "Because I don't know how we're gonna work if you can't trust me."

Her eyes met his immediately, her eyes confused and hurt.

"I love you, Cass," he mumbled, clenching his jaw, "but you push me away. And I keep coming back. But push me away too many times and one day you might find that I won't be there anymore."

"What is this, some fucking ultimatum?" she shot back. Teddy felt her pull back even farther from him.

"No, Cass," he sighed, becoming frustrated. "But there's only so much pain I can take before I break! I love you, and maybe the truth is that I couldn't stop coming back to you even if I wanted to! But if you want a real relationship—a healthy relationship—then you have to trust me! Because if you don't…" he searched for the right way to say it, staring at her desperately, "I don't know. What have we really got?"

Cass's eyes had visibly softened and she looked down, taking a deep breath.

"Fine," she whispered, her head still hung.

He nodded, grabbing her hands and pulling her to her feet. The two descended the latter carefully, then slowly made their way to the bathroom.

"Do you want me to look at it first?" Teddy offered, setting a hand on her shoulder. She took a deep breath.

"No." She shook her head. "I have to do this."

He nodded as she took a shaky step forward, contemplating the door knob to the bathroom very intently. She took a few more moments, ostensibly to prepare herself, but Teddy could never be sure of what she was thinking.

But this had been a step in the right direction. Trusting him. With a smile, he hoped that one day he would be able to find out.

She set her hand on the door knob, and turned it painfully slowly. The door swung open and Cass took three painstakingly slow steps forward. Teddy remained where he was, ready to meet her should he need him. Her hand reached out—Teddy noted with a protective instinct that she was trembling—and set it on the test. Pulling it back to herself and clearly savoring the final moment where it could be whatever she wanted, she looked down and read the test.

Her eyes widened. Quite obviously in a state of shock, her eyes still on the test, she turned ninety degrees to her left, facing Teddy. After a few more moments, she glanced up at Teddy.

"What does it say?" he asked her, his heart nearly hammering out of his chest.

She held up the test so he could read it. Squinting, Teddy thought it was a plus sign… but perhaps he was only seeing things.

"I'm pregnant."