Chapter 34: For His Amusement

Seeking escape within the boundaries of his quarters, McCoy had never felt so desperate and afraid in his life. When Joanne had left him it had been an odd form of release. No longer did he have to worry about what people were saying behind his back, in hushed whispers veiling the lewdest suggestions. The feeling and fear that he had been a failure to her faded over time, only resurging when he remembered her and the dreams he had formed around a future with her.

This fear was new and far stranger to the Doctor. It was a mixture of frustration, shame and guilt, of being discovered and thus losing something he had tried to save. This realization bred a certain anger in McCoy's heart, one that demanded attention. Trying to quell it, the good Doctor was surprised to hear his door give alarm that someone was there.

McCoy stomped over to the intercom, almost damaging it from a press that more resembled a blow.

"Who the Hell is it and what the Hell do you want?"

"Hardly a professional reply, Doctor, but I would not expect one from you anyway."

The voice was Spock's and McCoy's terror intensified.

"The question still stands: What the Hell do you want?" McCoy said, his words mumbled and indistinct.

Still the Vulcan understood him and requested to be let in.

"It must be those Vulcan ears of yours," McCoy said to himself.

"What Doctor?" Spock replied.

"Nothing," McCoy said and found himself smiling in spite of his rancid mood. The Doctor weighed his options. He could either let Spock sit outside until he left, which giving the man's persistence was futile, or he could let him in and put an end to the doubt and hearstopping fear of why Spock had decided to pay him a little visit.

With a more gentler push of the button, McCoy opened the door and gave Spock the opportunity to enter and save him from the torture of not knowing.

"So why may I ask are you here?" McCoy asked.

"The answer to that question is just as mysterious to me Doctor," Spock stated. "The Captain merely sent me to make sure that you are well."

McCoy hesitated for a moment gauging his reply.

"That's it? He didn't tell you anything else?"

"That, I assure you, is it. I did not join the Empire to serve such menial tasks. I told this to the Captain but it seemed of some vital importance to him that I see you. May I take it that the conversation between you and Kirk did not go as well as expected?"

While McCoy was relieved that this appeared to be the extent of Spock's knowledge of what had passed between Kirk and himself, McCoy understood that his welfare was not on the Captain's mind. Sending the First Officer had been a sign or a gesture to intimidate him. Or maybe just to simply remind McCoy of what Kirk obviously knew.

"Well you can tell him to go to..." McCoy started to blast off some sarcastic remark but thought against it when he looked at the Vulcan's inquisitive dark eyes. "Tell him that I'm fine and that I appreciate his... kind gesture."

Spock looked unconvinced. However, with a mere nod of the head he turned to leave. Standing in the doorway Spock sighed. "I would appreciate it as well if you would give the message to the Captain yourself. I am not a message boy and if I were I would frown upon being used for such frivolous tasks."

When Spock had gone and the door closed shut McCoy steadied himself.

As Kirk was coming off duty from the bridge the Doctor did as Spock had requested, though the message was somewhat altered.

"What kind of fucking game are you playing," McCoy hissed as the lift doors opened and he saw Kirk standing there, momentarily caught off guard.

"A game? I have no idea of what you're talking about," Kirk acted innocent.

"You know damn well what I mean."

Kirk smiled a serpent's smile. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Sure it was," McCoy heard the tremble in his voice, one of anger and fear. "Do you intend on blackmailing me? Is that it?"

"Really Sawbones! Blackmail is for petty people without power. Those grubby little souls who want to crawl their way out of the muck and mire of poverty and unimportance. Do you really believe that a man who could make the entire crew of this Starship disappear in an instant would resort to something as foolish as that?"

Kirk studied McCoy letting his disdain become suddenly evident. "Blackmailers only blackmail someone because they want something. What could I possibly want from you?"

"So what is it you want then?" McCoy snarled.

"Call it charity for my own amusement. It does get awfully boring out here in space when we don't have a planet easily available to rape and pillage. Consider yourself my personal jester. You certainly aren't a Doctor!"

"It's just a game to you? And what if I don't want to play?"

"Oh you'll want to play," Kirk smiled. "Or else you wouldn't need to wear a mask now, would you?"

"I will make you pay for this, Kirk," McCoy managed to hiss through clenched teeth.

Kirk's smile vanished. "And just as Blackmail doesn't mean a thing to me neither do your threats, McCoy. What are you Sawbones? Nothing. You have no power. If you were to die this moment no one would give a damn. You could be replaced with a simple command from my lips."

The smile reappeard, though it brought no comfort to the Doctor. "Just remain as you have always been, dear McCoy," Kirk said. "Stay just as ineffectual as you have always been."

Showing that he believed the conversation had reached its end, the Captain raised a hand and offered the Enterprise's Doctor a childish wave before he ordered the lift to take him to some other floor and away from any pathetic appeal that McCoy could offer.