Chapter 38

Today was the day. Today, I would leave all this commotion behind and escape this farcical marriage. The dread intermingled with the excitement in my stomach until I felt quite ill at the prospect. I had decided not to leave in the early morning because Maysaa was locked in the stables until Fatima woke up and let her out. To attempt to break her out of the stables would be a sure way to get caught. The dead bolt was loud to open and waking Maysaa up would shock her and she would no doubt cause a ruckus. I could not have risked that, so I had decided to wait until daylight. I also needed the morning to pilfer provisions for my journey.

When I woke up, I looked out from the window in the room I shared with the twins, and saw Maysaa standing passively in the field chewing grass and so I knew Fatima was awake. I felt the nervous anticipation increase with every minute until I was not sure whether I could move without being sick. Moving from the warmth of my pallet to the chill of the air felt like the boldest move I had ever made.

It was still very early; a pinkish light still clung to the horizon and it was pleasantly cool, so I was surprised to see that Fatima was not in the house. I crept like a fugitive through every room, my heightened senses on alert for any movement but there was no sign of her. I could hear the rattling snore of her husband and the gentle sighs of the twins but Fatima was nowhere to be found. I could hardly hide my grin. I could use this time to orchestrate the first part of my plan.

I crept quietly into the room next to Fatima's, where her two sons stayed when they returned home after their prolonged stays at sea. There were two simple pallets on the floor and a single table piled high with folded clothes. I went to the table and selected a tunic from the pile, along with a pair of shalwars that appeared to be as tall as I me. There was also a head scarf slung over a chair which would come in very useful for hiding my face. If I dressed like a man on the road, I hoped that I would have less chance of running into trouble.

I tucked the clothes under one arm and walked carefully down the stairs, avoiding the ones I knew to be particularly creaky. I padded quietly around the kitchen, delving into the pantry to extract cheese, bread, fruit and anything else that looked vaguely edible, but not enough to be noticeable if Fatima decided to check. With clothes and provisions taken care of, I stepped outside into the chilly air and walked to the stables were Maysaa's equipment was housed, waiting for her to come trotting over to me so I could prepare her for the journey. I brushed the mud from her coat and then saddled her up in utter silence, freezing in fear the moment I heard the slightest sound. My stomach was tied in knots and I almost found it hard to breathe effectively. I dug into her saddle bags and rooted around in them for objects of use. Suddenly, I felt a searing pain in my finger and pulled it out to reveal a gash that was leaking a surprising amount of blood.

"Damn!" I cried under my breath, sticking the finger quickly in my mouth to staunch the flow. With my other hand, I carefully pulled out the offending objects and realised them to be Altaïr's throwing knives. I felt my shoulders sag with memories. I held them in my good hand, careful not to cut myself again on their incredible double-sided blade. I looked at them longingly before wrapping them in a piece of gauze and placing them back in the saddle bags. I felt strangely comforted by them, as if I had a piece of Altaïr with me.

After a few minutes, the blood finally stopped flowing and I could resume my search for useful things. In the saddle bags, I found rope, my water skin and surprisingly, extra money that must have fallen out of the money pouch that now rested in the far more deserving hands of Johara, the young girl who saved my life in prison. The money jingling at the bottom of the saddle bags was enough to provide me with food for a good few weeks at least and so I was heartily thankful for it, considering moments ago I had next to nothing. I stuffed the clothes into one saddle bag, ready for later when I could change en route. I jammed my provisions haphazardly into the bags, slightly comforted in the knowledge that I had food and money for the journey.

With Fatima gone, it made this portion of the plan much easier. I led Maysaa at a jog around the very outskirts of the town, careful to avoid anywhere densely populated. In less than fifteen minutes I had run the whole length of the town, from Fatima's house to where the main path led out from Berothai into the dusty desert beyond, and it was here that I paid a temporary stable to house Maysaa. Here, she would wait until I was ready to leave. I planned to escape during one of our excursions into the souk, where I would slip away from Fatima's husband.

With my mount ready and waiting to depart, I ran full sprint back to Fatima's house for I had no idea when she may return and I had to be there when she did. Luckily, when I arrived back at the house, nothing had changed; the bellowing snore of Fatima's husband indicated that he still slept happily and the barely audible whispers of the twins' gentle breathing inferred the same.

Now that I had taken care of all I had to do for my escape, I sat at the table, strangely calm and resigned to my outlandish idea. I was committed now; my horse was ready, my belongings were packed and all I had to do now was slip away from the family while we were in the marketplace. I felt a pang of sadness at having to leave Hala and Inaya without saying goodbye, as I had become pleasantly attached to them; they were kind and gentle creatures, refreshingly unfettered by the hardships of life. However, there was nothing I could do and so I did not dwell upon it for long.

In a gentle daze, I sat at the table, feeling lightheaded and a little queasy, passively listening to the sounds of the twins rising and dressing, padding around overhead. Soon, they both glided down the creaky stairs to join me at the table.

"Good morning Asra." They chimed in a synchrony that never failed to impress me.

"Good morning." I smiled back, snapping out of my reverie at the sound of voices.

However, conversing beyond a simply 'good morning' seemed like a gargantuan effort for me so I stayed quiet. This did not seem to faze the twins, who happily gabbled on to each other regardless. Every now and then, they would direct a comment at me that I struggled to pick up on for a few awkward moments.

"I am ever so excited for your marriage Asra." Inaya commented softly. It was tentative and tinged with concern. The twins knew how I felt towards the marriage, yet social protocol dictated that they must be happy for me and so they tried to say nothing to the contrary.

"Yes." Hala interjected, "Sahl is a good man." She did not really sound all that convinced. She was right though, Sahl was a good man; but he was not Altaïr.

I listened to them politely but their comments made very little impression upon me; my mind was in another place entirely. I could not stop running through the plan in my head, visualising everything that could possibly go wrong until I was filled with fear at the prospect of even moving from the table. And so it was with difficulty that I stood up and followed the twins out of the house and into the centre of the city. Hala and Inaya's father loomed purposefully at the head of our group, gritting his teeth and no doubt counting down the days until I was wed and he could stop being forced to follow me into this hellish shopping district. Fatima had returned just before we left but she was in such a rush of planning that she paid no attention to me.

My heart hammered in my chest like a sprinter and I was painfully aware of everything around me. But the longer I walked through the stalls and the people, the less scared I began to feel. In the middle of such activity, you have no time to dwell on yourself; there are too many others to be concerned about. I walked a few steps behind the twins, smiling when Hala turned to me to express her delight at a bracelet she had just seen or nodding my head in agreement when Inaya complained of the all consuming heat. Their father marched on resignedly while the girls twittered around him like small, beautiful birds.

After an hour the twins' father - when he could take it no more - announced that today's shopping trip was over and that we would return post haste. My heart gave a wild leap as I realised this as the moment I was to leave. It was now or never. I glanced to Hala and Inaya, taking in the expression on their happy, innocent faces and felt a pang of guilt for leaving them. But there was no time for sentimental feelings.

I looked to my left and right where I was completely flanked by innumerable people milling around the streets. I had been carefully mapping our journey through the city as it happened and so I knew the direction I had to run to reach Maysaa. I took a deep breath, spared a glance at the twins and their father and darted to my right like cat that had been burned. I was off in a shot, letting the crowd envelop and conceal me, my heart racing with fear and exhilaration. In no time at all, I was faced with the wide road leading out of the city, Maysaa in view on my right. I stopped at this point, careful not to raise suspicion. I walked to her awkwardly. I was desperate to run. I thanked the man almost inaudibly and climbed on her back, hurryingly urging her on and out of the city. With my heart beating almost painfully and my stomach contorted in knots of fear, I trotted slowly down the road that led away from this place.

I glanced behind me, checking to see if I had been followed but was thankful that I could see no one I recognised. As soon as the village was out of my sight, I kicked Maysaa into a gallop. I felt a dizzying freedom. I had really run away. I had truly escaped that marriage! I felt joyful and not even the thoughts of what lay in store for me could dampen my elation at this moment.

After a few minutes I stopped in the shade of a small cypress tree to change discreetly into the clothes I had taken from Fatima's son. I angled Maysaa's bulk in front of my body so I could change with a modicum of decency. I was alone at the moment but that would change very quickly as merchants and travellers began to travel in their hoards towards Berothai. In fact, I was surprised that I was as alone as I was. Fortune seemed to be on my side this morning.

I pulled off my tunic and shalwars, replacing them with the ones I found in the house. Before I had even tied up and adjusted the shalwars, I could tell they were huge but they would have to do. My breasts were no longer distinguishable below the tent-like kameez and once I had fashioned my hair into a plait and tied the head scarf around my head, obscuring my face and hair, my gender was not easily discernable. I stuffed my clothes back into the saddle bags and cursed the beaded, feminine slippers on my feet as I stepped into the stirrups and settled into the saddle.

I felt a strange calm wash over me. I felt like the hard part was over and to endure my father would be nothing. I kicked Maysaa into a gentle canter and let my mind wander as she carried me away from Berothai. I did not even focus upon the road ahead; I closed my eyes. When my eyes were closed, it was as if a story had been projected onto my inner lids. My imagination was as clear as truth. Now, as I rode away from Berothai and all the madness within, my mind turned, as it always did, to Altaïr. I became heady on reflection of him. His voice sent ripples of desire through me and I could picture his glorious eyes. But all I wanted to do was just talk to him. I wanted to spend hours in his memories, I wanted to know all there was to know about him. I wanted to feel the liberty that I felt in his presence, the safety I felt in his arms and the warmth that I heard in his voice. I sagged under the weight of my memories but fought against the sadness that lurked on the fringes of my mind.

As it drew quickly to the middle of the day, I felt like the heat would burn a hole through my head. I was hot and uncomfortable and well aware of the dangers of travelling during this time. So I pulled Maysaa into a gentle walk and moved to the left where there was a cluster of large trees that could offer us shade and respite. I hopped off her back and leisurely tied her to the branches of one of trees with its low slung branches. I did not feel any urgency to reach my final destination. I rifled through the saddle bags, pulling out a shallow clay bowl that I had stolen from Fatima's cupboard. Guilt pricked for a moment but the feeling soon passed. I emptied a little bit of water into it and pushed it towards Maysaa who quickly caught on and gratefully lapped it up. I swigged a little myself before packing it back into the saddle bags. I had to be very careful not to run out before I reached somewhere else where I could refill. With Maysaa happily munching what grass she could glean from the largely sparse area, I lay down onto the dusty ground and stared upwards into the canopy of green.

Through the leaves, I could see the magnificent azure of the sky. I wished that Altaïr would take me there. I wanted to climb as high as possible and look up to the sky knowing that I was closest to it. I could not help but think of the life I might have had with him. The world would not have stayed so small for me if I had been with Altaïr. I would have travelled and partaken in the delights of cities I could only dream of; beautiful people I had no hope of understanding and countries with animals and plants I had never seen before. I would have been able to speak openly and honestly to someone who would accept my opinions and value my words. I would have been free. As it was, the freedom I had now was a falsehood. I had to return to my father if I was to live. I was not free. This thought weighed painfully on my mind, reminding me of its presence every time I dared to feel the lightness of what I thought was freedom's touch.

The hours flitted past in uneventful succession as I waited for the heat to lessen. I could only seem to think of Altaïr; if I tried to not think about him, I ended up thinking about how I was trying to not think of him and it all became so convoluted and confusing that I simply decided to give up and release my mind to its imaginings, however painful they were. And every thought was like a needle upon my skin. I was filled with the bitter regret of what could have been. I knew that for the rest of my life, as happy as it may end up being, it would always be tinged with the sorrow of knowing that I could have been so much happier if I had been with Altaïr.

But for my own sake, I tried to not let that thought linger. I stood up with purpose and untied Maysaa's bridle from the branch, eager to get on the road and feel the breeze on my face so that maybe the thought would not trouble me so greatly. I stepped from the stirrup into the saddle and kicked her firmly onwards. Moving from the shade to the sun was intense but more bearable now than it had been but a few hours before. I closed my eyes again, trusting Maysaa to amble along the path herself.

In my head and my mind's eye, I began to dishearteningly plan my return to Jerusalem. I truly did not want to return but I could not afford to go anywhere else. I had no money, no means of survival, no roof over my head if I did not return to Jerusalem. Grudgingly I had to admit that my father was the only one I could turn to. Malik's death hit me with more acuity when I admitted such a thing. Malik would have been the one I could have turned to. As it was, I was left with my good-for-nothing father. I would never have had anything to do with this man if his blood did not run in my veins, a fact I was loathe to admit. Malik used to always joke that he was lucky not to be as tainted as I was, for he was less related to my father than I. I smiled at the nostalgia.

My eyes flickered open to survey the road and I spied a number of travellers walking towards Berothai, their sandaled feet kicking up sand that was instantly whisked away by the breeze. I furtively pulled the head scarf more over my face without realising I was doing it. Once I had offered them a polite but cursory nod and they had passed by, I closed my eyes again and dwelt on better times past; it made it much easier to live in the present. I always kept an ear open for the sounds of people passing me and there were many that did so. Most were on foot but every so often the rhythmic sound of hooves beating the sand reached me. The people trickled by with no bearing upon me.

The hours passed gently, streaming by like the people on the road. The heat had lessened to a comfortable degree but the sun was not yet ready to depart. The path had petered out an hour before and although I had not altered my course, I had begun to worry about where I was. I had been too upset on the way here to pay any attention to my surroundings, which had been very foolish. This was a rather distinct landscape, huge cedars and craggy rocks dominated it yet nothing was familiar to me. I decided to stop for a rest one last time before it got dark, to eat and drink a bit but also to climb up a particularly large cedar I had spotted. It was the largest I had seen and with its branches laid practically horizontal, it was be easily climbable and provide a perfect view of the surrounding landscape. I was fortunate that this area was surprisingly abundant in trees of all kinds. Some even bore fruit I recognised and as soon as I had led Maysaa to the large cedar and tethered her up, I plucked off as many as I could reach and ate them gratefully. I passed a few to Maysaa who ate them with just as much glee.

When Maysaa and I had supped and drank a little, I looked for a way up this surprisingly tall tree. It had huge thick branches, perfect for supporting my weight and it did not have leaves, but spines instead that were thick and provided dense cover so I would not be seen shimmying my way up its trunk. I did not want to raise suspicion. To climb onto the first branch though, I was going to need assistance; it was too high for me alone.

"Sorry Maysaa." I said guiltily as I used the stirrups as steps to climb onto her back. I planted my feet as firmly as I could onto of the saddle but if she so much as sniffed I was almost certainly going to come tumbling down. I stood up as straight as I could and managed to wrap my arms around its lowest branch just before Maysaa shifted and swept my feet from under me.

"Bloody horse!" I cursed under my breath as I was left dangling nearly ten feet off the ground with nothing but hard and unforgiving ground to break my fall. Maysaa happily munched the sparse flora beneath me without a single glance in my direction. I managed to swing my body a little and wrap my legs around the same branch, leaving me clinging to the underside of it and cursing my unhelpful mount. I worked my leg around the branch and pulled myself up into a sitting - and much more stable - position. I breathed a sigh of relief; disaster had been averted.

From here, the branches were densely packed, offering me a wealth of options for climbing, even though I had to battle against the spiny needle-like leaves. I started to feel the child in me rejoice and I could not stop grinning as I ascending higher and higher. Eventually, through the spiny leaves, I began to see the landscape beyond and I walked carefully to the end of one of the branches to get a better look. From here I could see much further, even being able to make out a small town in the distance. I decided that even if the way I was travelling was not right, if I made it to the town, someone would be able to direct me towards Jerusalem.

With my mind a little more at ease, I began the slightly more difficult journey down the tree, slipping a few too many times for comfort. These ridiculous beaded slippers were most certainly not made for the rather unladylike activity of tree climbing. As I neared the lower branches, I could make out the sound of a horse walking nearby. I stopped and waited for it to pass but the sound suddenly became much louder. They were coming closer.

I felt my heart beat a little faster. In utter silence, I calmly climbed down a few more branches. I cursed this tree for the branches were so thick and the spines so dense that I could not see much of the floor below. I saw the activity below like shadows on a wall. It was barely discernable, only shapes moving through a cover of dense leaves. But I felt my heart leap as I heard the sound of hooves coming ever closer. I suddenly realised what must be happening; they were going to steal my horse!

I felt such indignation at this prospect. Maysaa was all I had and I would be damned if I would let her be taken. Not to mention that every worldly possession of mine was in her saddle bags! I refused to let another part of my life fail completely. I could make out Maysaa's rump from where I was standing on the branch and then suddenly, the sound of the horses hooves stopped and came to rest almost directly below the branch I was standing on. I felt my heart beat in my chest and it was as if my mouth was made of sand. I would fight for her, of that I was most certain.

There was no time to evaluate the true stupidity of what I was about to do, as I heard the person take their feet out of their stirrups and realised my planning time was up. All I had was the element of surprise. With abject terror, I launched myself blindly from the safety of my branch, landing squarely on the persons broad shoulders, wrapping my legs around their head and dragging them flailing from their mount in a flurry of cedar pines and yells. It was quite a stunning manoeuvre if I do say so myself. So horribly stupid though.

I yelped as we fell hard on the ground and the man whose shoulders I so unceremoniously attacked, grunted in surprise. I felt my back and shoulder throb in protest to falling so hard. The horses jerked in fear, whinnying and kicking up dust that clouded around us and pricked at my eyes.

I had no time to really see anything. It was pure luck I had landed on him as successfully as I had done. My heart was beating so fast I feared it may simply give up through over working. I was about to release my legs and jump up to make my escape but this person moved so fast. In a flurry of movement and limbs, I went from a reasonably strong position to being pinned on the ground. Strong hands forced my arms up over my head and tightened around them to stop me flailing. I felt fear replace bravado quite rapidly.

And then I think my heart did stop.

I could barely believe what I saw above me. The person I saw above was not a common thief or bandit but the man that I loved.

"Altaïr…" I struggled to form the syllables. My lips stumbled awkwardly over a name I had not voiced for an eternity. My jaw slackened and my eyes widened, partly in disbelief and partly to take in his every detail. I could not tell if my heart had started again.

I could even see the disbelief in his eyes. A mere moment ago he had been preparing to smash my face in for my ambush but now he was, like me, frozen in incredulity.

I can barely describe what passed between us in that moment but a thousand questions flashed in our eyes.

"What are you doing here?" "Where have you come from?" "What has taken you so long?" "Do you love me?" "Are you hurt?"

But words did not seem to be enough. Our lips moved but no words escaped them.

His lips captured mine in an all consuming, fervent kiss of supplication and desire. I responded with disbelief and delight in equal measure. Everything went unsaid but there was nothing we did not understand. I could feel his remorse and his sadness on my lips and I knew he could sense my forgiveness. Explanations could wait. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. It was like I was in a completely different world. There was no one but me and him and the love that passed between us. He stood up, taking my hands in his own and pulling me up straight into his arms.

"I'm so sorry Asra." He whispered. I moved my lips from his, tipping my head up to look in his eyes.

"Shh." I chided. "All is forgiven."

"But I should never have left you. I made such a mistake." He continued and I could feel that the guilt hung heavily over him.

"You have atoned for it ten times over." I sighed in contentment. I brought my hands to his face and smoothed my thumb over his jaw. His face was wrought and tired but there was no mistaking his relief as he saw that I was his again. I had always been his.

"Thank you." I said wholeheartedly.

"It is I who should be thanking you." He whispered, kissing me gently on the forehead as if this moment might shatter.

"No, you came back for me." I replied.

"I could not have stayed without you." He confessed. His voice was deep and truthful.

I felt every fear I had dissolve in an instant. The relief of this mingled with the joy of reunion made tears fall from my eyes. Altaïr kissed the corners of my eyes as if to stop the tears.

If I had not been in Altaïr's arms, I feared I might float away from the joy. I felt a tangible lightness from the absence of fear and loss. I tipped my head back to look at him, drinking in every detail of his appearance that I had longed for. The scar to the right of his lips was comforting and familiar. He seemed to me now, more handsome than he had ever appeared before. I looked into his eyes, trying to see what he was thinking. His eyes took in my face with a longing I had never seen before. He lamented the time that had been lost between us as much as I.

"Come with me Asra," His lips brushed against my cheek, "to Masyaf."

I could not speak for a few moments and when I did, it was barely more than a whisper.

"Is that what you truly want?" I asked, more than a little afraid of the answer. Try as I might I could not forget the things he had said to me on our journey to Berothai.

"More than anything." He affirmed ardently. "I never wanted you to leave. I was acting misguidedly. I had convinced myself I was doing the right thing but I was being foolish."

I did not speak for a few moments, but let his words settle in my mind. I had begun to believe everything would be alright.

"Altaïr. If you will have me, I want for nothing more than to be by your side." Both my hands rested on his chest and I could feel his heart.

"Asra," my name from his lips was the most beautiful sound, "I love you. I have done so for longer than I can say." He kissed my cheek as if to confirm to himself that I was still there. "I have wanted to say those words to you for a long time."

"And I have wanted to hear them for just as long." I smiled.

His faced relaxed a little and a small smile played on his lips. His eyes had softened and did not seem so impenetrable as before.

"So you will come with me?" He asked hopefully. As if I would do anything else.

"Nothing would make me happier." I replied. He wrapped his muscular arms around me and I rested lightly against his chest. I felt so utterly content I did not care if I never moved from this position. After a moment, he relaxed his grip a little and captured my gaze with his own.

"I knew I recognised your horse," he mused, "but you make for the worst man I have ever seen." He finished, almost seriously. He had so far resisted asking me why I was dressed as a man but I knew the question was to come and I dreaded it.

"I did what I could with very limited resources!" I smiled.

"You are far too beautiful to ever make a convincing man." He replied smoothly, deftly untying the head scarf and throwing it onto Maysaa's saddle.

I could not help breaking into a wide smile. This was the Altaïr I had longed for so much; the man with whom I could joke and laugh so freely.

"I have missed you so, Altaïr."

"And I you. More than I ever wanted to admit." We were quite for a few moments, simply enjoying the contact of our bodies.

After another moment he said: "We should go, it will be dark in a few more hours."

I nodded my agreement and with no hesitation, untied Maysaa. I felt an almost overwhelming freedom. To have Altaïr back beside me was the one thing I had considered the greatest impossibility, yet here he stood. I felt as if there was nothing that could not be achieved now. I could not keep my eyes from him. I was still in awe at his arrival. I felt my heart well with gratitude towards him, knowing he had been travelling to take me back.

Although I wished he had never left me, I could not hold his actions against him, no matter how much they had pained me, for I understood his motivations entirely.

I had realised while I had been in Berothai that it did not only come down to his duty as an Assassin or even his duty to Malik. There had been more to it than that alone. He had watched his brothers killed and his home ransacked because of a woman who had loved him. No wonder he had decided that he should forgo his relationship with me. The only relationship he had ever known had ended in brutality and destruction. He was cautious, maybe even a little scared, of the consequences it could have for his brothers. And I could not hold it against him.

All that mattered was that he was here now. It was as if none of the Berothai debacle had ever occurred. Even to me at this moment it felt like nothing more than a distantly recalled dream.

It seemed that silently, but mutually, we had decided to walk together. We did not mount our horses but took their reins in our hands and led them forward, both of us walking side by side.

"I almost hesitate to ask," began Altaïr after a few paces, "but why did you ambush me from a tree and why are you dressed as a man?"

I smiled awkwardly. "I did not know it was you. I thought you were an opportunist trying to relieve me of my horse." I explained. It sounded fairly reasonable to me. "And it is safer to look like a man on the road."

"You are quite incredible," He said affectionately. I smiled at the compliment but could not quite agree.

"It was quite fantastically stupid." I replied.

"Of course it was. But I knew you were already aware of that." He agreed. His voice took on a more serious tone when he asked his next question.

"And where were you going?"

I sensed the attempt to inject a lightness of tone to his words but he failed.

"Jerusalem." I conceded unwillingly, "to my father."

His expression remained largely indiscernible as he waited for my explanation.

"I would have rather stayed with my father than go through with the marriage that Malik's kinsmen had arranged for me." My voice was more than a little embittered.

Shock was an emotion that defied the muscular capabilities of Altaïr's but he did look incredibly taken aback. "They had arranged you a marriage?"

"It is meant to be in a few days. I had to escape." I sighed. I glanced to my left and was presented with a face of thunder.

"I am so blind!" he cursed, "I never even thought of that possibility!"

The remorse that had disappeared for a moment glared again in his eyes. I had never seen him so penitent.

"It was not your fault. Neither of us could have foreseen that!" I professed.

"They certainly wasted no time." He said lowly. His left hand gripped a little too hard on the reigns.

"Calm yourself. I escaped did I not?" I finished lightly, eager to move on and never think about it again.

His eyes remained trained forward but a wistful smile of admiration touched his lips. "Indeed you did. It is that spirit that made me fall in love with you."

His candid admission astonished me but I tried not to let it show.

"You seem to be surprised by that." Altaïr commented casually.

'Dammit!' I cursed in my head.

"I have just…I…I've…" I began awkwardly, "I've never heard you speak so openly about me."

"I have held back, that much is sure," He conceded, "Before, I had a sense of duty I could not displace. I tried, and often failed, to not show how I felt about you. My mission had been to take you to Berothai and nothing; neither death nor love was going to stop me from going through with it."

"But I was wrong." He admitted, turning to look at me. "It was not the mission. It was my own blindness and the fear of the unknown. And now I want to make up for the time I have lost with you. I have put you through so much - put you in danger countless times - and you deserve much more than the treatment I have afforded you."

I listened to him in silence, appreciative and humbled by his sincere words. I felt nothing towards Altaïr but love and appreciation. Nothing mattered to me except that he loved me and that he had returned for me. That was not going to stop me verbally berating him for leaving me in the first place but that could wait.

Although I knew he still felt guilty about my stint in the Merchant King's Palace and the other drama that had befallen me, I considered all of those things as simply experiences that I had survived and moved on from. My time with Altaïr may have been, in some places, the most frightening time of my life but it had also been the happiest. Being with Altaïr made up for all that I had been through.

"You have afforded me the happiest moments of my life Altaïr. You have nothing to feel guilty for." I said softly, hoping that my words might heal his guilt a little.

He sighed; a little in scepticism and a little in resignation. "You are the kindest, most merciful person I have met Asra." He said. I felt my skin flushing a little. I was not used to this affection from him and although it was wanted, I not entirely sure how to react to it. I smiled in reply, feeling happily humbled by his words.

"How are your men?" I asked in concern, realising I had not asked earlier.

His expression hardened. I did not want to bring up the topic that affected him but I needed to know. I had not realised how strongly I felt for these men.

"They are recovering and I have not lost any more. The town is slowly picking itself off the ground. It will be a while yet until we are back at full force but we achieved something incredible against the Templars. That much has to be rejoiced."

I could not help it but I thought of Livanya. I knew she would not have wanted it but I pitied her. I harboured a strong resentment towards her but it was gradually being conquered by the pity. Since I too had felt what it was like to love and to lose, I could not be so harsh towards her. There was no denying she had made the most grievous and selfish mistake, but she was a woman blinded by love and I felt for her.

I wondered grimly what had happened to her. If how I saw her for the last time was anything to go by, her melancholy would have been unconquerable and she had most likely done something rash. I shuddered at the thought but I had a terrible suspicion that she might have taken her own life. I could not be sure but there had been nothing in her eyes. She had been utterly empty. I did hope, in all honesty, that it had not come to that. I did not wish to see her again but I wished her a life with more happiness that she had experience so far.

However, I was relieved to hear the Assassin's were recovering. I felt excited at the prospect of being able to live among them; I greatly admired and respected them.

My attention was diverted as we came over the crest of a sizeable hill when I spied a watchtower not far in the distance. It was considerably high but abandoned and looking a little worse for wear. I suddenly remembered a thought that had captured me not long ago.

"Altaïr." I said, my eyes trained on the distant building.

"Yes?"

"Will you take me there?" It sounded odd to even my own ears but it was an idea that I could not shake.

He followed my gaze to the tower.

"To the watchtower?" He asked, a little baffled by my train of thought.

"Yes, to the top of it." I replied. "Please."

"I think you overestimate how strong I am." He commented but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he would be willing.

"Will you?"

"Of course." He smiled. "But with any luck the door shall be unlocked."

"Thank you." I laughed; I too hoped that he would not have to scale the tower with me on his back.

I was glad that he did not ask for a reason. I did not have one. But the same thought popped into my head that had done many hours before: 'I wished that Altaïr would take me to the magnificent azure sky. I wanted to climb as high as possible and look up to the sky, knowing that I was closest to it.'

When we reached the square tower and had tethered our horses to a nearby tree, Altaïr looked up the stony length of it with an appraising look.

"Will you be all right?" I asked, apprehensively glancing up and down the tower. It was awfully high and I worried that Altaïr may not be able to scale it with me hindering his progress, if it came to that. But I wanted to go there with him.

He walked to the thick wooden door and pushed at the handle but it did not move and inch, despite its fragile appearance. He shoved it hard with his shoulder but it would not give way. It seemed that although it had been abandoned, it had not been left unfortified.

"Then we shall have to climb." He said cordially. When I nodded but did not move he said:

"Your transport awaits my lady." He smiled and crouched down so that I could climb onto his back more easily.

"I am sorry Altaïr. I did not mean to abuse you like this." I professed as I sprung onto his back and felt his hands close around my thighs as he stood up.

"It is an honour to be abused by you in this way." He grinned as I clasped my legs tightly around his waist and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, careful not to hold on too tightly around his neck.

"Am I heavy?" I asked concerned.

"No, you are like an angel's breath." He replied, barely concealing the sarcastic grin.

"You cad!" I laughed as he placed his foot on a misaligned brick, using it as leverage to reach the doorpost and pull himself up onto the small ledge. From there, there were only small cracks and the odd prominent brick to use and I could feel the effort of his back and shoulder muscles as I held on to him. I was not scared at all, I trusted him completely. Not that there weren't a few heart-stopping moments.

Amazingly, it did not take him long to reach the top, even with me on his back but the effort was immense. His fingers struggled to delve into cracks and the absence of frequent footholds meant he had to rely on incredible upper body strength. When we finally grappled our way over the top of the battlements, I could not help but marvel at his ability.

"That was amazing!" I cried as I jumped off his back completely unaffected and he flopped over onto the hay covered ground, arms outstretched and breathing heavily. I lay down on the ground next to him, nestled into his side and looked up in awe of the sky.

It was blue but only just; pinks and other vibrant hues had started to creep in as the sun prepared its descent. It was a stunning sight and I could not believe my luck that I was watching it while next to Altaïr. This morning, I had thought I would never see him again and now, I lay by his side, calm, comforted and safe.

"Thank you." I whispered softly, grateful beyond words that he had fulfilled this desire for me.

"I will do whatever makes you happy." He paused, a smile touching his lips, "However odd the request." He continued, laughing. I poked his cheek in protest and laughed with him.

"It is beautiful though, isn't it?" I marvelled, looking up to the dimming, lively sky like a child, studying the clouds that morphed and contorted in front of my eyes.

"It is." He agreed, undoing the belt that held his sword to his hip, sliding it it to the edge and then pulling me closer into his left side, resting his hand on my thigh. With his right hand he pulled of his hood and ruffled his hair in relief, sighing in contentment.

The night was warm and balmy with no hint of humidity. It was the perfect temperature for sleeping out in the open.

"Can we stay here tonight?" I asked.

"I was about to suggest the same." He replied, "But if that is the case, I will go and get some supplies." He stood up and jumped onto the parapet in one movement, judging the ground below with a calculated eye. I sat up and walked to the battlements too, looking up to my right where Altaïr stood and then down to the distant ground.

My eyes caught the large mound of hay just as his did.

"You cannot be serious!" I cried incredulously, my eyes jumping back and forward between the hay and Altaïr in alarm.

"I am always serious." He grinned. The irony was too much and I had to laugh, but it quickly became a gasp as Altaïr sprung up and off the parapet, launching himself into a dive before quickly, at the very last moment, turning onto his back and landing in the bale of hay. I leaned over as far as I could, scanning the hay bale, praying that I did not see bits of Altaïr strewn all over the ground.

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT!" I yelled irately the moment he stood up and brushed himself off. He looked up towards me, picked a stray piece of hay out of his dark hair and bowed, as if inviting my praise and admiration.

"HA." I scorned, remaining stoically unmoving.

I rested my elbows on the parapet, craning my head down to watch his progress. He went about preparing the horses for the evening, removing the bit from their mouth and giving them a longer tether. I saw him pull a blanket and half a loaf of bread out of Khalil's saddle bags before turning to mine and pulling out anything useful I had, including the fruit, the cheese and the water skin. He put all the food into the blanket and slung it over his shoulder.

Without me on his back, the climb seemed effortless, although, watching him I think his speed was more to do with the stupid risks he would take when on his own. My heart was in my mouth watching him climb; he jumped and darted all over the place, flinging himself up the tower like the strong, young, often over-confident man that he was.

As soon as he neared the top, I leant over so I was face to face with him and smiled coquettishly, taking his face in my hands and kissing him deeply. It felt a little as if he was my rescuer, scaling the tower to save me and so I awarded him accordingly. I drew away from him and smiled, taking supplies from his hand, laying the blanket over the hay and setting down the food to the side.

He climbed lithely over the parapet, his leather boots making almost no sound as he strode over the stones and pulled me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head and then, taking me by the hand, pulled me down to sit on the cushioned blanket of hay. We delved hungrily into our food store, laying out fruit and cheeses with slightly too hard bread. It was most certainly not the best meal I had ever tasted but to be sitting here eating again with Altaïr was not something I ever expected to experience again, and so every bite tasted a little bit sweeter. We sat opposite each other, Altair resting one arm casually on his knee with an air of satisfaction about him, as if he was completely happy with all that he had. I felt the same way. I was completely and utterly happy with everything. Nothing could quell the uplifting sense of freedom and happiness I felt. I had all that I wanted, more than I ever thought I could have. I was a very lucky woman.

"What are you thinking?" Altaïr asked with a languid grin, making me think he was only asking out of courtesy for what should be the the sanctity of my thoughts, for he evidently already knew.

"That I am very lucky." I replied frankly.

"I am the lucky one." Altaïr contended, "I have done nothing to deserve a woman as kind-hearted, brave and beautiful as you."

"Oh hush now!" I asserted hastily, chewing off a big chunk of bread.

"It is true!" He protested good-naturedly. I conceded with a smile and leant over to him, lightly pressing my lips to his. He brought his hand against me cheek, stroking it lightly with his thumb, prolonging the kiss until I was breathless with desire. He leaned towards me, lightly easing me back until I lay back on the blanket. My arms ascended to his neck and I pulled him down towards me, caressing the nape of his neck and feeling the crispness of his short hair. He kissed my neck and my throat and caressed my thigh with his strong hand. I felt on his back for the buckles that held his leather armour on, nimbly undoing the straps and throwing it to the side, pulling away the red sash that sat under it.

"You are too much." He murmured, his voice deep and hoarse with desire that made me shiver. He pulled off his outer robes until he lay above me in nothing but his shalwars. I could not stop myself from touching his chest with something akin to reverence. His chest was perfect in form, like that of a Greek statue, marred only by the scars that told of his life. My hands flitted over the muscles of his chest, tracing my fingers over the scars like I had done so many months before when he had first kissed and held me. As if in exchange, he eased my shirt over my head and I felt the balmy coolness of the approaching night on my bare skin. I did not feel any embarrassment; Altaïr did not give me time to feel anything but pleasure. He lightly touched his fingers to my forehead, brushing away some loose strands of hair.

"You are beautiful." He whispered, his voice pleasantly reverberating in my ear.

I smiled and clutched his broad back, holding him gently against me, feeling his muscles move beneath my hands as he stroked my hair. I felt his hand trail over my stomach to my shalwars, pulling the chord that held them on. He had no trouble in pulling the loose garments off, they were already far too big for me. He brushed his hand across my naked thigh, eliciting a

small sigh of contentment from me that made him murmur in pleasure.

He looked deeply into my eyes for a moment, perhaps searching them, perhaps admiring them, I could not tell. All I could see was that there was love there. I could feel the love burning behind my eyes too and I knew he could see it.

There, in the perfect warm night, the two of us alone in the wilderness, nought but stars and a hint of the moon above, I gave him everything I had to give.

When I woke up the following morning, the feeling of Altaïr's arm pulling my into his side was heavenly. My finger moved in absent minded shapes on his tanned chest and I smiled to myself when I thought of the night before. I felt quite assured there could not possibly be a higher power who punished us based on our moral actions, for if that had been the case, I would have been struck down there and then. I had lain with a man out of wedlock but had not the slightest inclination to be ashamed, I loved him too much and it had been too wonderful. I had never felt closer to him than I did now.

Last night, we had talked of all that had happened in the lead up to us finding each other again; asked all the questions we wanted to ask and received all the answers we needed. I was loved and of that, I was completely sure. And in turn I loved every part of him, even though it had taken me a while to come to terms with his life. But this was who he was and in a way, I felt pride for his conviction. He was force and not words, action instead of passiveness in the face of injustice. I both loved and respected him. In the beginning I had feared him but I could never be scared of him now. I had seen too much of who he really was. To those who had reason to fear him, he was fearsome. But to those that he cared for there was nothing but respect and kindness afforded to them. He was, quite simply, a man worthy of the love that I had for him.

When I thought back to before I met Altaïr, I saw a girl who was ignorant to the world but largely untouched by its evils. Now, I had seen many things, experienced many things I never wanted to experience again and even had the scars to prove it but I could never for a moment regret meeting him. He had protected me from a further world of ill, taking me away from a life my father had planned for me that was too horrific to think of, something which I had only learned of recently.

Dutifully, following Malik's original mysterious note, I had not asked any questions and soon, preoccupation with exploration and my travelling companion had banished all thoughts of that nature from my mind. I had found myself not caring about the reason for my hasty and rough departure from Jerusalem. All I had ended up caring about was Altaïr and the enigma that he had proven to be.

And as soon as he awoke, we would depart for a different life. My worries would be left behind to live a life I could never have predicted. I was delighted at the thought of living with Altaïr in Masyaf. It was his home, his life and I felt closer to him when I walked within its walls. The Assassins were men I could never have predicted to be so respectful and courteous, yet they had turned out to be quite wonderful. I wanted to learn more about each of them at to be able to walk amongst them as a friend, respected and cared for in the way I already respected and cared for them.

Next to me I felt Altaïr sigh and move, half asleep, half aware as he turned on his side and we came face to face with only a few inches between us.

"Good morning." He smiled, stretching to kiss my forehead tenderly and tucking my hair gently behind my ear.

"Good morning." I replied brightly, resting my head on one arm while I laid the other around his neck, caressing the nape of his neck.

"That feels good." He murmured sleepily. After a few minutes he said: "We will leave soon" But without any real conviction, he was enjoying my touch too much to want to move.

"There is no rush." I replied in a whisper, pressing my body to the length of his, enjoying the contact and the closeness between us.

"Are you certain that you wish to come with me?"

"Do not ask stupid questions." I countered. He chuckled.

"Then let us depart." He replied standing up with sudden vigour and buckling his armour back on, "I want you in my bed before sundown tomorrow." He said, flashing me a charming smile and winking as he pulled his boots on.

I blushed and gave him a shove as I stood up, nearly unbalancing him as he bent down to buckle his boots. Key word being 'nearly'; I could no more have pushed him over than a rolling boulder could have.

"You should be so lucky!" I challenged coquettishly, wrapping up the blanket and slinging it over my shoulder, slipping my feet into the beaded slippers.

"Oh, I would be." He agreed seductively, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing warm kisses onto my neck.

"Hmm." I murmured absentmindedly. Every time he touched me I felt unable to actually form a sentence.

When all was packed and readied, I hopped onto Altaïr's back and we scaled back down the tower. I was thoroughly glad he had not asked me to jump. The horses were awake and ready to ride.

Altaïr looked at the tower appraisingly just before we departed.

"I think I shall remember this tower." He mused fondly, turning to flash me a wickedly charming smile.

"I do not think I shall forget it either." I smiled back without a hint of embarrassment even though I knew full well what he was referring to.

Together he and I mounted our horses, feeling the soft breeze on our faces. Altaïr looked at me, and smiled like he had never done before. It was the gentlest most affectionate smile I had ever seen. He looked at me with all the love in the world.

"Are you sure you want to leave with me?" He said it with such tenderness; he truly wanted me to do exactly what I wanted, even if it was not in his favour.

I looked at him, studying his handsome features for a few moments before smiling.

"Stop asking questions like that. You are starting to sound like a big girl's petticoat!"

With a final flourish, I kicked Maysaa into action and she raced down the road, throwing up a flurry of dust and pebbles. She had an eagerness that matched my own. I heard Altaïr not far behind in hot pursuit and I laughed into the breeze.

The sun was shining, the sky was blue and I felt free and eager to begin my life. I thought of Malik and smiled with joy and sadness in equal measure. I only wished he could see me now; I knew he would be glad to see me so happy and it was all because of him. I would never be able to express my gratitude but he had known that I loved him greatly and so I would be content with that.

Altaïr came up beside me and glanced towards him, smiled with all my heart and then looked forward.

First off, I am so sorry this has taken me so long but I wrestled for a long time with this chapter, never happy with it and it went through a lot of changes! Team that with lots of personal things going on and you get a very long wait for updates! So for that, I apologise. (This chapter is an absolute whopper though! I don't know if this is a good thing or not….)

Secondly….This is the end it seems! I can't believe it! It has been such a journey and I can't thank you guys enough for coming along with me. I've never written anything before this so I thank you for ignoring its faults and enjoying what I wanted to convey. You guys have really made it for me, honestly. I could not have kept on going if I hadn't had the incredibly support of you lovely people. You have pointed out my errors, offered me wonderful criticism that will stay with me always, and left such sweet and kind reviews.

I really hope you have enjoyed the ride! It's been bumpy sometimes and I'm still learning but I think this has been such an experience for me. I want to write a novel one day and I consider this a fantastic starting point. I hope I can get even better! Wait for it guys, one day you might see my book in stores! That's the dream!

It's quite hard to let this story go, it's been such a big part of my life for a very long time now! (Quite a few years, that's for sure!) But, I've enjoyed it immensely and can't wait to do it again some time!

Thank you all so much, you've been really special.

Minnie, signing out for the last time!