Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 1: Liquid Analgesic

It wasn't that she had changed

Of course she had grown up and had been subjected to all of physical changes that came with it. At the age of 22, Haruno Sakura was nothing if not an adult. Her lithe frame was adorned with womanly curves in all the right places; long legs topped by rounded hips, a softly muscled tummy and cinched waist, moderately filled out chest, and a long lean neck. Her body, sculpted by hard physical training since the age of seven when she was first incorporated into the shinobi life, was indeed beautiful to behold. Her face, too, was altered by age, the epitome of understated beauty. Though she had often been berated as a child for having a large forehead, age had graced her features with a gentle balance. Her porcelain skin, jade eyes, and long pink hair made Sakura appear to be otherworldly and exotic. Among all the beautiful women in Konoha coveted my men, Sakura was indeed widely esteemed for her ethereal beauty.

But it wasn't just that she had changed.

It would be easy to say that Sakura's loveliness was the manifestation of some internal beauty. But nothing about Sakura was easily definable anymore.

In reality, her beauty was but a deception conceling a very harsh inner turmoil: the physical mask she wore every day that hid much more from the people around her.

Inside, Sakura was broken.

As she sat at the bar, a picture of loveliness, swirling caramel colored liquor around in a short glass, Sakura's thoughts were delving into the very dark territory of the past.

'Two years ago today,' she thought. Gulping down the content of the glass and pushing it forward, she glanced at the bartender to signal her need for a refill. Sitting alone in a seedy bar frequented by the shinobi of konoha was not something that Sakura often indulged in. However, today was the type of day in which Sakura couldn't give a shit about propriety. The only thing that currently mattered was the burn of alcohol in her throat and the numbing feeling radiating out from her belly. As the surrounding bar grew blurrier and blurrier, Sakura sat in calm silence, wrapped in her loneliness and a dense bourbon haze.

In the dark back corner of the bar, three shinobi sat at a table sharing a large bottle of sake between them. Kakashi, Genma, and Shikamaru had just returned from a difficult two week mission. It had been the type of mission that left each of them feeling like a tightly wound bundle of nerves. Hoping to unwind a little, they were contenting thier residual uneasiness with a few pitchers of sake, a little drunken socialization, and in Genma's case, the search for a beautiful woman to bed.

Rolling his senbon from the left to the right side of his mouth and squinting his alcohol fogged eyes, Genma cautiously eyed the pink haired kunoichi sitting alone at the bar.

"Hey Kakashi, isn't that Sakura sitting over there," he asked the man on his right in a low voice.

Shikimaru turned slowly and glanced over his shoulder. Upon spotting the woman at the bar he rolled his eyes and shot Genma a look. "Tch. You know very well that's her Genma," he sighed, "shes the only woman in Konoha with bright pink hair. Its not that hard to identify her."

Genma furrowed his eyebrows, pursed his lips and glared back at Shikamaru in mock spite. Being teamed up with the young genius for the past year had taught him not to bother taking his sarcasm very seriously. And besides, in a battle of wits, Shikamaru would always come out on top, though the senbon wielder often was tempted to try his luck. "Well whatever," he continued quirking a eyebrow up, "looks like she's all alone tonight, huh?"

Kakashi narrowed his uncovered eye behind his book but did not bother to reply. He knew better than to enter a conversation in which Sakura would be the topic with his lecherous friend. Though usually pretty harmless, Genma was not at all shy about sharing the excessively nasty thoughts that constantly occupied his very dirty mind.

Genma tossed a quick glance at Kakashi then dismissed himself from the table."Well, I think I'll just get myself another drink."

Shikamaru scoffed and reached for the still full pitcher of sake sitting in the center of the table. "A drink my ass," he mumbled.

Kakashi sighed and downed an entire glass of sake behind his book before turning back to his reading. Genma's antics were nothing new to him and he had become accustomed to dismissing any questionable behavior on the man's part when sake and women were involved. And anyways, he was sure Sakura was smart enough to handle Genma's advances on her own. She had always dealt with him extremely well in the past. Though Kakashi hadn't spoken to her in a few years, Sakura had always been a really smart girl.

Despite this, Kakashi found that every few minutes he couldn't help but glance furtively at the bar where Genma had sauntered up and was leaning precariously close to the pink haired woman.

Sakura sighed before she downed another glass of bourbon and returned to staring listlessly at the wooden bar.

"Hello beautiful" a voice whispered into her ear.

"Genma" she replied dismissively. Sakura was no stranger to the flirtatious special jounin's advances. Even when he came to the hospital badly injured and gushing blood, Genma always found a way to engage the women around him in playful banter. She didn't particularly mind the attention one way or the other, chalking it up to his infamous attraction to anything on two legs with tits and ass.

"You look like you could use some company love," Genma said pulling a stool up close and sitting down next to Sakura.

"Mmm," she hummed, not wanting to open the door for him to ask her what was wrong. She hoped that being somewhat unresponsive would convey her desire to not be questioned by her new companion.

"Ah, one of those kind of days, huh?" he said, signaling that he got the drift. "Me too. Just returned from one hella hard mission with Kakashi and Shikamaru. Don't really want to think about it much…." his voice drifted off into thoughtful silence.

At the mention of Kakashi's name Sakura's eyebrow raised slightly, but she quickly checked her emotion and stilled her face.

"Yea…" she replied distantly before turning to study the face of the man beside her. He did actually look somewhat distraught. And she found herself appreciating the unusual tact he was displaying and the soft smile that graced his handsome profile.

"Well anyways," Genma said turning to her with a wider smile and a wink, "how about I get us some warm sake? We could both obviously use a little cheering up and I bet your pretty smile is all I need to feel better." He gently placed his hand on the small of her back while leaning forward to look past her down the bar to wave the bartender over.

Sakura was not surprised at his forwardness, but she was somewhat taken aback by his gentle handling. Genma was normally somewhat goofy and raunchy when flirting, but tonight he seemed different, more sincere in a way. She wondered just how upsetting his mission really had been to affect him so drastically. Looking down into her empty glass she supposed it couldn't hurt to have a couple drinks with him, if for no other reason than to make her feel less pitiful for sitting at a bar alone getting trashed. And besides, the gentle pressure of his hand on her back and the warmth of his body brushing against her own felt rather nice.

Though Sakura knew she had already gone well past her limit, she gratefully picked up her glass after Genma filled it with the newly delivered warm sake. Unlike the numbing effects of the bourbon she had previously been imbibing, the sake made her insides feel warm and somewhat tingly and she found herself leaning closer into the handsome man sitting next to her. They were both obviously inebriated, but neither minded much as they enjoyed the comfort of easy companionship.

Genma sipped his sake and turned slowly to face Sakura. He allowed his gaze to travel over her entire body, up from her long legs casually crossed and dangling off the bar stool, to her waist where he could see the slightest hint of porcelain skin peeking out from under her short shirt to the graceful curve of her shoulder where it met her long neck. 'God, she really is gorgeous' he thought to himself as a yearning feeling began to tug at his mind. Then, as if it was a reflex, he reached his hand out and tucked an unruly piece of hair pink hair that had been resting on her soft cheek behind her ear.

The tender gesture took Sakura aback as she met Genma's gaze with deep green eyes. He stared at her intensely if not a little bit hazily from the alcohol. The senbon in his mouth rolled lazily back and forth between his teeth and Sakura found herself focused on his lips as if hypnotized by the motion. Her breath hitched slightly when Genma pulled the senbon out of his mouth and leaned in dangerously close to whisper into her ear. "God, Sakura, you have no idea what you can do to a man, do you?"

The low rough timber of his voice and the hot breath caressing her ear and neck sent tingles shooting down Sakura's spine. Normally Genma's attentions could never have this effect on her. She realized the alcohol must seriously be affecting her inhibitions for Genma's advances to make her react so strongly, but suddenly Sakura didn't really care. All that really mattered at the moment was the touch of his lips to her ear, the hand sliding up her leg to rest on her hip, the hot waves rolling over her as his body got closer and closer to her own.

'To hell with it all' she thought as one of Genma's hands ran up her arm and to the back of her neck.

"Why don't you show me" she whispered breathily into his ear.

Kakashi hastily latched the bathroom door locked with a click and tore the mask down off his face. He leaned onto the closed door, pressing his forehead against the cool wood.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit" he growled.

Watching Genma walk up to the bar to hit on Sakura had been somewhat irritating. But it was something he had once grown accustomed to. And he had expected her to thwart the other jounin's advances easily and quickly enough, perhaps with her infamous temper or her even more infamous right hook. Or at least that's how the Sakura he kenw would have handled it. Or rather, the Sakura he had known.

But this woman, sitting at the bar alone drinking hard liquor straight, hadn't turned his friend away. Though her body language clearly indicated ambivalence, she didn't lean away as Genma had ran his hand along her lower back. Instead, her eyes kept flicking up from the glass to the face of the man next to her.

Staring at the hand on Sakura's lower back had made a burning feeling run through Kakashi's chest. Anger? Maybe. Jealousy? No, that couldn't be it. It was something much more deep, much more base. Kakashi didn't really know, but he did know he needed to get the hell away from the scene unfolding before him and calm himself down before he was forced to break his cool and indifferent exterior in order to intervene. Sakura would surely tell Genma to fuck off soon enough anyways.

So that's why Kakashi found himself in the bar's seedy bathroom pacing back and forth. 'What the fuck is Sakura doing here anyway,' his thoughts raced. 'She shouldn't be sitting in a bar alone drinking so much.' Kakashi had been discretely monitoring how much she had drank since he first spotted her at the bar. As she downed glass after glass of caramel colored liquor he began to feel a slight tinge of concern. He knew that, even though she was the apprentice to a famous drunk, she was probably beyond inebriated at this point.

But Sakura was an adult now and she had been through more terrifying things than most shinobi ever knew. If she wanted to drink herself into oblivion for a night, he wasn't one to judge. God only knows she deserved to do whatever after what she had been through…

Images began to play across his vision and the familiar dark feeling of depair washed over his body. The memories that haunted him were ecaping the cell he locked them in once again.

A small fragile body laying on the cold forest floor.

"Shit" Kakashi groaned as he leaned onto the sink. He switched the faucet on and furiously splashed cool water onto his bare face. Looking forward into the mirror at the long scar bisecting his closed left eye, Kakashi was instantly reminded of the reason why he avoided Sakura in the first place. The excruciating guilt that her presence brought was unbearable. Not that Kakashi was afraid of guilt: it was the feeling he embraced more that any other. Failing people was something Kakashi believed he excelled at. But unlike all the other people whom he had failed in the past, Sakura was here and tangible and seeing her was like being forced to relive everything all over again. Seeing her forced him to bear witness to the pain she was still suffering, her torture that still hadn't ended. To admit that he was still failing her.

The beautiful and bright eyed young woman he had once known had faded away. Though Sakura was indeed still beautiful, perhaps one of the most beautiful women of the village in Kakashi's opinion, she no longer radiated a powerful sense of energy and life.

'God, she has changed so much.' Kakashi couldn't bear to see it, couldn't stand to look into the now jaded eyes and see all the pain laid bare underneath. It would only make him sad, and furious that he hadn't been able to save her from this, from the slow torture that her life had become. It was all his fault.

'It's all my fault' he internally berated himself. He would never be able to make it up to her. He had failed her too terribly to even deserve to speak to her or be graced with that now faded smile of hers. She probably couldn't even stand to be near him, she probably could never forgive him anyways.

But at least there was something he could do for her tonight. Knowing that she had drank much too much to maintain her faculties, Kakashi could follow her home and make sure she made it safely. Though Sakura would most definitely be able to sense his chakra signature when sober, the very large amount of alcohol he had watched her consume would definitely insure he would be able to watch her without detection.

Kakashi felt somewhat eased by his decision to escort Sakura from afar, but he didn't even dare to think about how it was as much for his sake as hers.

Just as he had straightened himself up in front of the mirror and tugged his mask back up over his face, he heard a series of loud bangs on the door.

"Hey asshole, le'me in there," Shikamaru's slurred voice yelled.

Sighing Kakashi flipped the lock and wrenched the door open. Shikamaru, who had obviously been leaning heavily onto the closed doorframe, spilled through and onto the floor where he lay sprawled out and dazed.

"Good God man, did you have to get so wasted tonight?" Kakashi sighed.

"Tch. It's troublesome" the drunk shinobi slurred while attempting to rise up off of his knees.

Kakashi leaned over and pulled the young genius up off the floor. Noticing the man's slight greenish tinge, the Copy nin firmly guided him into the stall with the toilet and waited patiently while his teammate emptied his stomach of booze. When the young man was done wretching Kakashi pulled him up once again and dragged him towards the sinks and flipped the water on.

"Thanks sempai," Shikamaru groggily smiled at Kakashi through the reflection in the mirror.

"No problem Shika. Just do me a favor and take it easy, all right? I didn't think you would be the type of guy to cause trouble seeing as your always bitching about it," he teased. "You should probably be getting home now anyways, shouldn't you?"

"Nah, she understands. Besides she's just gonna bitch at me if I wake her up right now. Troublesom woman."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at Shikamaru's behavior. "Anyways, I think I'm gonna get some air for a bit and then take off. Will you let Genma know I'll catch up with him later?" he asked his young teammate.

"Yea I would but he already left with Sakura a little while ago," Shikimaru mumbled.

Kakashi instantly transformed from the lackadaisical man teasing his drunk friend to a intensely scary ninja. Shikamaru glanced back when he sensed the waves of murderous intent rolling off the man behind him. The copy nin growled in a dangerously serious voice through clenched teeth "What?"

Glancing downward at his comrades tightly clenched and shaking fists Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and tentatively responded. "Umm, yea they left together maybe ten minutes before I came in here. But I'm not really sure….."

The rest of Shikamaru's words were lost on death ears as Kakashi tore furiously from the bathroom, the door swinging and creating a loud resounding crack as it crashed into the wall behind.

"What the hell is his problem" Shikamaru slurred, eyebrow still quirked up and staring at the empty doorway which the other shinobi had just tore through. Sighing and filing away the events of the previous moments for analysis at a later time when he was more sober, Shikamaru stumbled from the bathroom and headed back towards the bar and the wonderful feeling of sake and company.