A/N: Companion piece to dantesdarkqueen's 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity'.
Disclaimer: I own Kandi, not Zack, and that is the cause of my never ending torment. (weeps)
Zack rubbed his eyes and stared at the computer screen in front of him. Three-hours he had spent with this evil contraption, and not once did it do what he wanted it to do. It was well passed quitting time and going on one o'clock in the morning. But because he had to goof off all day in Seph's office, he didn't get his mission report finished. And it was due tomorrow morning. And his traitorous secretary had left precisely at 8:45 p.m. leaving him to his own devices. And he really, really needed help right now. His computer was locked up and wouldn't budge.
He banged his forehead on his desk in frustration. "Damn it!" he growled. "Stupid ShinRa with their stupid computers and their stupid mission reports!"
Sharp clicking alerted him that he was no longer alone in the building. Well, he doubted he was completely alone in the building anyway. Hojo was probably still here since he pretty much molested his 'precious specimans' 24/7. The clicking alerted him that someone was in his immediate vicinity and that the person was a female, or a male who had strange preferences in footwear. The sound of keys and a purse hitting his secretary's desk caused a grin to break across his face, as did the accompanying swear as the keys fell to the floor. Clutz.
"Kandi?"
The clicking came closer and a red-streaked head poked into his office. "What are you still doing here?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.
"Mission report," he explained as she walked in. He eyed her outfit with interest. Black leather pants, black leather stiletto boots (the source of the clicking), black lace spaghetti strap top that was straining to support her very full and very exposed breasts, black leather wrist cuffs, black lace choker with a cross charm, and silver hoop earrings. What struck him as odd was that her hair, usually left down in sexy, messy bedhead fashion, was actually twisted...up; her long bangs swooping down over her left eye. He'd never seen her hair up before. It looked nice.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, eyeing her cleavage.
She shrugged and leaned against his filing cabinet. "I don't know," she mumbled. "Guess I just didn't feel like going home."
"What's with the outfit?" he asked with a sly grin. "You look like some sorta Goth princess."
"Queen," she corrected with a grin as she moved to sit on his desk. "Get it right, Blackspike."
"Yes, your majesty," he said with a roll of his eyes. He reached up flicked a stray piece of hair behind her right ear, noticing a sparkling diamond earring dangling off her helix, ending in a cross as well. He touched the earring and grinned. "Looks good. I like that."
"You should," Kandi laughed, poking his nose. "You bought it for me."
"I have good taste," Zack answered, his smile broadening. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head as she swung around and sat cross legged on his desk, looking at him. "So, what's with the outfit, Goth Queen?"
She shrugged again, blushing slightly. "Had a date," she mumbled.
Zack didn't expect his stomach to drop like it did when she answered him. "Oh?" he asked, clearing his throat. "How was it?"
Another shrug. "S'ok, I guess," she said, examining her black painted nails. "Just...dinner and stuff."
Zack leaned foward and rested his elbows on her knees. "Just okay?" he asked.
Kandi rolled her eyes. "Actually, it sucked, okay?" she said in exasperation. "He was a nice guy. And that was the problem."
He grinned lopsidedly. "Usually girls like nice guys," he told her.
"Well, I'm not a 'usual' girl," she retorted, rubbing her arm. "I mean, he was just...frustratingly nice."
"Didn't get laid, huh?"
"Not one bit."
Zack threw his head back and laughed. "Oh boy, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were a guy," he said in between laughter. "All you want out of a date is a good fuck."
She smacked him in the head. "Shut up," she grumbled. "So what if I'm not a normal girl? I mean, Shiva! Doesn't mean I'm a slut if I want to feel good at the end of a really crappy dinner and sucky movie. He didn't need to say that..."
Zack's eyes narrowed. "What'd the fucker say to you?" he asked, his Mako eyes beginning to glow a bit brighter.
"It's no big deal, Boss," she answered with a smile, patting his cheek. "I took care of it and any future children he wished to have had with his virgin bride."
Zack grinned. "That's my girl," he said grabbing her hand and kissing it.
Kandi laughed and flicked his lips. "Dork," she said good naturedly. She cocked her head to the side and studied him. "None of us are normal, are we, Zack?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, checking out the designs on her wrist cuffs.
"I mean, no chance of a normal life," she said. "Family, white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog."
"You really want that stuff?" he asked, shocked.
"Hell no," she sputtered in annoyance. "Just would be nice to have some options, I guess. You know, to throw away. I'd probably use the dog as target practice. After feeding the kid to it."
Zack laughed. "I really don't know," he said, opening the latch on her skull poison ring. Empty. She either used it or didn't fill it. "I know Seph wants a family. To eventually settle down with a chick."
"What about you?" she asked. "I mean, I know you really liked that Aeris...Aerith...whatever her name is, chick. You ever think about her?"
The SOLDIER was thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah," he said with a grin. "I do. She's a sweet girl and beautiful, inside and out. She's the kind of girl I could see myself settling down with...IF I ever settle down."
"I could see you with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids, Blackspike," she said with a grin, ruffling his hair.
He eyed her. "You aren't upset I didn't say I could see myself settling down with you?" he asked, flicking her chin.
She threw her head back and laughed. "Are you kidding me?" she asked. "I'd like to see you try to get me to settle down, let alone in a white frilly wedding dress! Not my thing, Zacky. I know what we are to each other and that's perfectly fine to me."
"What are we to each other?" he asked with a grin.
"Fuck buddies!" she said, plopping down on his lap. "And you're my favorite one!"
Zack laughed and kissed her nose. "Wrong, Kandi," he said, lacing his fingers through hers. "We're friends. First and foremost. Always."
She smiled and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. "Friends with...benefits?" she asked with a waggle of her eyebrows.
"The best benefits," he said, rubbing his nose against hers. "Now, if you can do me a favor, I will do you one."
"Okay," she said, making herself comfortable on his lap. "What's that?"
"I will make sure that this sucky date doesn't end in you not getting laid, because, after all, that's what I do best," he said with a grin.
"Okay," she giggled. "And in return, I have to...?"
He turned his monitor to her, showing her the locked up screen. "Fix my computer?"
Kandi tilted her head back and rested it on his shoulder, grinning as she put in a few simple keystrokes and unlocked the frozen contraption that had plagued him for the last three hours. "You got it, Zack."
He glared down at her, his eyes narrowed. "Smart ass," he said as his lips closed over hers.
A/N: My OC really missed Zack so I had to give her a small fix. Hope you enjoyed it. If not...meh.