Delayed Reaction

Rated: PG

Category: Angst, H/C, Sam/Daniel Friendship, TEAM.

Season: Nine

Spoilers: Ripple Effect

Summary: Sam Helps Daniel Through A Rough Time. Teal'c Helps.

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He made it through the farewell.

He made it out of the gateroom.

He made it all the way to his quarters on base.

He never even thought to go to his lab.

Only the privacy of his own bed was wanted now.

Daniel Jackson closed the door behind him, still upright and in control.

As the latch clicked shut, all restraint fled.

Daniel's body betrayed him.

He never made it to bed.

His back rested on the door momentarily, then slid downward until he sat upon the floor.

Gravity could be a real bitch.

A breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding escaped Daniel's chest like a shaped charge.

It came out more like a tortured sob than the sigh he'd thought it was.

And suddenly Daniel was gone.

Only grief remained.

Daniel's body caved in on itself. His arms came up to enclose his knees and he shook with barely contained emotion.

But no tears came.

Daniel tried to tell himself that this was silly.

That it hadn't really been her.

But he couldn't convince himself of that.

He'd seen her again, in the flesh. A walking phantasm of images that so often haunted his dreams. Dreams that sometimes were simple memories or pleasant variations on life but that usually ended with a blinding yellow flash and images of sightless brown eyes framed by auburn hair. Nightmares that left him with the stench of scorched flesh in his nostrils that persisted when he woke.

Two years ago, the smell greeted him nightly, sometimes more than once. The terrors came less often now, and Daniel thought he was finally starting to put them behind him.

But then she was there.

Right in front of him.

Alive and well.

It had taken every bit of self-restraint he had not to fold her into his arms and hold onto her for dear life.

He'd fought the urge to vomit in the gateroom, when her team said their good-byes.

When he'd hugged her again, a bottomless chasm had opened in his soul.

For it was good-bye.

Again.

Janet Fraiser was gone.

Never to return.

He missed her already.

Again.

And so he sat, rigid and rocking slightly, on the floor just inside his door, hoping to somehow dispel the demons he was facing for the second time.

He sat for what seemed an eternity, until fatigue mercifully stepped in and allowed Daniel Jackson to rest. He still sat on the floor, but his head leaned back on the door behind him, and somehow he let slip the bonds of consciousness enough to sleep, albeit uncomfortably.

XXX

Daniel woke with a jerk.

It took a moment for him to realize where he was, but as soon as he did, the reason why he was collapsed on the floor came back to him with a vengeance. Pain and grief did not lessen their hold, but Daniel pushed them to the place inside himself where he kept everything he could not acknowledge publicly and stood.

For the sound that had woke him up repeated itself.

A light knock on the door behind him sounded out into his quarters.

This time, a small voice followed the sound.

"Daniel? You in there?"

Sam.

Daniel smiled a little to himself at the quiet call.

He should've known she'd come by.

Daniel shook himself off a little and pulled open the door to reveal one Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, warrior and brilliant scientist, looking like anything but.

Sam looked, in a word, defeated. Her shoulders slumped, her head was bowed, and everything about her was somehow wrong. It set off alarm bells in Daniel's brain.

He ushered her inside.

Sam nodded her thanks and stepped into Daniel's quarters without looking at him.

Daniel's worry increased.

"Sorry to come by so late, Daniel. I just…" Sam's voice trailed off as she noticed Daniel's somewhat disheveled appearance. "Were you sleeping?"

Daniel ran a hand through his hair and nodded slightly. "Uh… yeah. Sortof. I guess."

Sam looked at him doubtfully and then nodded toward his bed. "Bed's made."

Daniel shrugged sheepishly. "Yeah, well… I sort of dozed off…"

"That happens."

Sam spoke without looking at Daniel still. She stood facing away from him, studying the far wall of his quarters. She wouldn't meet his gaze, and finally Daniel couldn't stand it. He stepped closer to Sam and caught her arm, spinning her around to face him.

"Sam? You ok?"

Sam didn't speak, but her eyes finally met Daniel's.

The level of pain Daniel saw there made his knees buckle, but somehow he stayed upright. His hand on Sam's arm tightened, almost painfully, and he might have fallen if not for the contact.

Sam didn't shy away from the pain.

She almost seemed to relish it. It was a distraction from her other wound.

Sam was hurting, too. Janet had been her best friend. Seeing her again, albeit in some other form, was killing Sam as much as it was Daniel.

Daniel's other arm and hand acted of their own volition just as Sam's did the same.

They met in a crushing hug that knocked the wind from both of them.

They held each other silently for a long moment, but finally Sam spoke first.

"I miss her."

Daniel nodded against Sam's head. "Me, too."

"I know."

Seven words said all that could be said. Silence fell again. It reigned for an eternity.

And still the two friends did not let go of each other. Their grips, if anything, tightened. Fingers curled into shirts in desperation to feel something other than the freshly renewed grief over the loss of their friend. Hearts hammered together against rib cages.

And then Daniel sniffed.

Just once, but it was enough.

The simple sound was gut-wrenching, and it broke the quiet of the moment as effectively as any loud bell or gong would have.

And then the tears came.

Daniel's quiet admission of his pain started a cascade of emotional release.

Sam sobbed quietly into Daniel's shoulder as her tears freely mingled with his.

Neither knew where one began and the other stopped. It was as if Daniel and Sam were one entity, united in their pain.

They didn't speak. No intelligible sounds came from their lips. They didn't need words to communicate, and without any effort on their part, the two moved together to sit on Daniel's couch.

They still held one another without embarrassment.

And then, suddenly but long after it began, their release was done.

Their emotions were spent.

Their breathing slowed, their tears ebbed, and while their arms didn't move, their fingers relaxed their nearly crushing holds, and heart rates returned to normal.

Sniffles and coughs filled the room for a moment.

And then, somehow, from nowhere, came a little laugh.

It was Sam's.

Daniel pulled away from her and looked at her at arm's length.

His expression was puzzled, and almost amused.

"What's so funny?"

Sam shrugged. "Nothing. It's just… I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Daniel shrugged back, then leaned in and planted the softest of kisses on Sam's forehead. "Hey. It's ok. I have a feeling we both needed it."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. Guess so. Still…"

As she spoke, Sam let go of Daniel and leaned back into his couch with a sigh. Daniel did the same after a second, leaving him sitting next to Sam. They both contemplated the ceiling for a long while before Sam spoke again.

"I'm glad Cassie didn't see her."

"Me, too," agreed Daniel. "That would've been hard on her."

Sam snorted another little laugh. "Right. Like it was easy on us."

Daniel laughed back. "No doubt. Somehow I think Cass might have taken it better."

"Yeah."

Sam's voice trailed off, and another hush fell over the pair. It was very late, and they were both exhausted, physically and emotionally. Sam started to drift into slumber when Daniel's voice startled her awake again.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Coming by tonight."

"No problem, Daniel. I loved her, too, you know. I didn't want to be alone."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Still, thanks."

Sam nodded back, as sleep once again tried to claim her.

As she started to drift again, her hand found Daniel's next to her on the couch. She squeezed it tightly once, then relaxed her grip, but she didn't let go.

Daniel squeezed back, then started to drift, too.

Neither noticed when a large Jaffa quietly crept into Daniel's quarters later and gently covered them both with a blanket.

And if any passing airmen were confused as to why Teal'c kept watch over Jackson's quarters for the rest of the night, they were wise enough to keep silent.

EPILOGUE

Senior Master Sergeant Betty Johnson had worked in the SGC commissary for years.

She'd taken over the early morning shift long ago, after a bullet had taken any chance of field duty away from her. She was good at her job, and she knew more about the likes and dislikes of the SGC personnel than really should've been legal.

She knew what they liked to eat, of course, but she also could predict their behavior in many cases.

The other workers and cooks often marveled at her ability to accurately determine who would come in to eat when and what they would pick out of the line.

Betty had come in early today. She was technically a supervisor, and her main job was to make sure the commissary ran efficiently and was well-stocked, but she liked to take a turn at the actual cooking from time to time to break up the monotony of personnel scheduling, checking shipments, and filing inventory reports.

Besides, she had a feeling something special would be needed in the early breakfast line today.

And she'd been right.

A trio staggered in, worn and weary, long before anyone else arrived.

Betty was the only worker there, but she was ready.

She smiled at them and they returned her expression gratefully as they took their trays and sat together to eat.

They didn't talk much today, but Betty hadn't expected them to.

She'd seen the 'other' SG teams around base, and while she had long ago learned to turn a blind eye to the goings on around her, even she had nearly jumped out of her skin when Janet Fraiser had come through her line and ordered a turkey sandwich.

Betty said very little, but she never closed her ears. She knew things about the SGC that would take General Landry years to figure out. So, she knew the 'alternate' Fraiser had returned to her 'universe' yesterday.

Betty knew her soldiers would be a little subdued today.

Especially these three.

They wore their masks well, but when they were alone, especially together, chinks and cracks appeared in their armor. One just had to know where to look.

Betty watched Daniel Jackson wolf down the peach cobbler she'd made just for him and noted the downcast blue eyes.

Sam relished the home-made beef hash Betty had brought in, but her posture was hunched more than usual.

And even Teal'c showed his grief by taking a page from O'Neill's book and fidgeting with the unused silverware on the table as shoveled his blueberry pancakes into his insatiable stomach.

'At least they're eating,' thought Betty. She knew they didn't do that when it was really bad, no matter what special treats she'd made them.

After a long silence, they started to talk quietly of the day to come. It was routine talk, and devoid of any real smiled at them, knowing they were starting to pull their armor back together.

By the time others wandered into the commissary, they looked normal to all but the most experienced eyes.

When Colonel Mitchell joined them, they greeted him as they would at any other time.

Betty smiled a sad little smile.

Sometimes Betty felt sorry for Mitchell.

She was sure he was a good officer, but she doubted he would ever be a real part of these three.

As he stood to get a second helping of Daniel's cobbler, the remaining three members of SG-1 smiled slightly to each other, and Betty knew that whatever they had shared to help them over their recent grief, it would stay between the three of them.

There were some things that just didn't go outside the family.