Back To Good

By DrLovekill

Rated T

I think I really earn the name DrLovekill in this "songific" fanfic. A broken, failed Tak returns to Earth only to meet a jaded Dib. Mutual hatred of a cruel world, and the dispair of failure brings them together, but nothing lasts forever. Tak leaves Dib, who tries to restore the only happiness he's ever known. Based on the song "Back to Good" by Matchbox 20. Rated T for some language, and Dib+Tak pairing. I don't own Invader Zim or Back to Good, so lawyers, don't sue!

It's nothing

It's so normal

You just stand there

and I could say so much

But I don't go there 'cause I don't want to

Dib sat in class. At least his physical body was in class. The black-haired boy stared dreamily out the window, living the adventurous life of a paranormal investigator in his mind. Mrs. Bitters droned in the background about how the sun would one day swell up, engulfing the Earth in fiery doom, but Dib wasn't interested. It was all the same, anymore. He looked across the room at the poorly disguised green alien sitting, taking notes, probably trying to conjecture a way to make the sun explode. Dib sighed. Why bother anymore? No one would ever believe him, that Zim was an alien. The proof was right there, but maybe, they didn't want to believe. It kept things normal. That's how people like things. Normal. Boring.

He looked back out the window again. Why couldn't his family move to someplace like Sedona? He would be accepted there. In Sedona, even the mailman was a paranormal expert. No. Dib's dad, professor Membrane would never hear of such a thing. To him, the paranormal was all crap, and to pursue it was nothing but pipe dreams. It was those pipe dreams that had driven Dib to this state of mind. He saw the uselessnes in trying to sell any new ideas on people. He could explain the paranormal in convincing scientific detail. But he didn't anymore. He didn't say much of anything anymore. He just didn't want to.

The door to the classroom flew open, jerking Dib out of his broody daydreaming. He turned to the door. A girl stood there. A very familiar girl. A girl with blue hair, and black eyeliner around large, beautiful eyes.

"No." Dib whispered, rubbing his eyes. "No way." It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a halucination. There she stood, in her buckle knee-boots, and long black and purple striped shirt. Tak. Mrs. Bitters stopped teaching, the students stopped learning, and they all stared at the arrival of the girl who had been missing from school for months.

"I hope you have a worthwhile explaination for your extended absence, Tak." Mrs. Bitters said angrily. Tak looked at Zim, who cringed in terror.

"Yes. In fact I do. Does being left for dead by a complete idiot count as a valid excuse?" Tak asked. Mrs. Bitters narrowed her eyes.

"Fortunately for you," Mrs. Bitters replied. "Being left for dead IS a valid excuse. Now take your seat. As I was saying, class, the Earth will reduced to a burnt cinder floating in the cold emptiness of space." Tak sat in her old seat behind Dib. Dib fidgeted for a few minutes, then finally worked up the nerve to turn around.

"Hey, Tak," He said nervously. "Uh, how have you been?" He wanted to say "Hey Tak, I thought you were so awesome the last time you were here. Let's go out sometime." But it didn't come out that way.

"Oh, you know, drifting in space, cold and alone, banished from the rest of my race." She said coldly. But Dib could see that she was fighting tears.

"Hey," Dib said, trying to sound as caring as possible. "Why don't you come to my house after school. You look like you could use someone to talk to, and...oh yeah, I have your ship." Taks eyes lit up.

"My...ship?" She asked somewhat nostalgically. "Sure. I'll be there."

I was thinkin' if

you're lonely

maybewe could leave

here and no one would know

at least not to the point we would think so.

Tak sat on the couch in Dib's living room, her head hung low. Dib sat beside her, listening to her with all the concentration of a good psychiatrist.

"You have no idea, Dib. You couldn't possibly conceive what it's like to be so alone for so long. Just floating around in nothingness. And to add insult to injury, having everything you ever worked for ripped away from you." She sniffled. "To have nothing but your shattered dreams." A tear fell down Dib's cheek. He could be saying the same thing at any given point lately.

"Tak. I do know what it's like to be lost and lonely. I've had dreams too, you know. Dreams the world has kept me from. Dreams I've...almost lost at this point." Tak looked at him. Their eyes met, sealing their understanding.

"It's all unfair." Tak whispered. Dib placed a hand on her shoulder as another tear rolled down his cheek.

"I know." Something stirred inside them both. Dib leaned in close to Tak. Tak held back for a moment, then leaned toward Dib until their lips were only a couple of inches apart.

"Is this how it goes, then?" Tak whispered. "Two weary, lost beings, bound by their fall?" Dib had never realized how beautiful Tak really was. "Pulled together by the darkness that nearly destroyed them?" Tears filled both of their eyes, and Dib placed a hand gently on Tak's cheek. Dib's lips met Tak's, and as they kissed, their pain seemed to melt away, until there was only each other. They moved slowly apart, never breaking their stare into each other's eyes.

"What is it you want?" Dib asked. "Are you still after Zim?" The corner of Tak's mouth turned up slightly in a small sad smile. She sighed softly.

"No. Not anymore. I just want peace." Tak said sadly. "I'm tired of hate. I'm tired of trying."

"We could leave here, you know. We could go to this place where we'd fit in. We could settle down, and we could both have that peace. Together. Nobody would miss me, and you could do whatever you wanted. We could be happy, and forget all this shit, and maybe get married, and..." Dib just blurted it out without thinking. He felt his face getting red, and turned away. He felt a hand gently touch his cheek. He slowly turned back to Tak. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"If you meant it, then yes, you should have." Tak smiled gently at Dib.

"Really? I mean you'd run away with me? And want to be with me?"

"Yeah, why not? After all, what does either of us really have right now but each other? And a space cruiser" They hugged, and then kissed again, feeling the same comfort as before. She stayed in his room that night, and they lay, holding each other untill they fell asleep.

But everyone here

knows everone here is thinkin' 'bout somebody else

Well it's best if we all keep this

under our hats

And I couldn't tell

if anyone here was feelin' the way I do...

The next day in school, Dib felt more alive than he had in months. Every time Tak would gently rub his arm from her seat behind him, he felt as if it were the greatest feeling he could ever know. He saw in his mind's eye their future together, and all the experiences they could share. What he didn't see was Tak glancing at Zim, and Zim looking back at Tak. He didn't see the note she passed to Zim. The note that Zim read, then folded and stuck in his pocket.

At recess, Dib sat at a table, holding Tak's hand as she sat beside him, listening as he lectured about his paranormal experiences.

"..and he said that it was a chupacabra, but I could tell that it was a total fake, you know what I mean." Dib was saying. Tak looked at him with one eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Not really." She said. "But I love you anyway." Dib smiled sheepishly. Tak leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek. He smiled as he looked into her eyes.

"I love you too." Dib whispered. Their heads turned to acknowledge a figure approaching. Zim. Dib nearly exploded in anger when Zim casually walked over, sitting across from them.

"Zim?!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing here. Go away. Don't you thing you've hurt us enough in the past?"

"It's okay, Dib." Tak said softly. "I wanted to talk to Zim." She looked at the fellow Irken.

"Zim, let's put everything that's happened between us in the past. We're both Irken, you know. We should be able to be friends, or at least not want to kill each other." She released Dib's hand from hers and extended out to Zim. Zim nervously extended his hand and grasped Tak's.

"You're not trying to trick me, are you." Zim asked suspiciously.

"No Zim, I'm really serious." She replied. At that, Zim's demeanor changed.

"So, Tak," he said, suddenly becoming social. "Do you want to see my base? I have technology these pity-full meat creatures have only dreamed of." Tak looked at Dib, who glowered jealously at Zim. He feigned a smile for Tak.

"Sure, Zim. Maybe I can give you a few pointers."

"Excellent." Zim said. "I'll see you after school, then." He pirouetted militantly and marched off across the playground.

"What was that?!" Zib said, pointing toward Zim. "Don't you know he's my enemy? After all he's done? To you...to me? You want to hang out with HIM!?" Tak blushed.

"Don't yell at me, Dib." Tak said coldly. She just wanted to make peace, but she could see that Dib was completely against it. Maybe he was jealous, she thought. "In case you have forgotten, Zim and I are both Irken. Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, though."

"No. Not really. I mean, what about us? And Zim...Zim's an asshole!" Tak glowered at Dib.

"You know, Dib, you can be an asshole too. Don't get so jealous about me and Zim."

"I'm not jealous." Dib whined. "And I'm not an asshole."

"You know what?" Tak said. "Whatever you say, love. I'm going to Zim's, and I might not be home tonight. Maybe you'll have a chance to calm down a bit." She turned and walked off, leaving Dib regretting what he had said. He knew he'd been wrong, and he just hoped that though he couldn't take any of it back, that he could at least make up for it.

Well I'm lonely now

and I don't know how

to get it back...

To good

Dib lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He tried closing his eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. He wanted Tak to be here with him. After knowing what is was like to finally feel wanted, the lonliness was unbearable. Dib cursed himself that it was his fault anyway. He rolled out of bed. He had to do something. He pulled on his boots, and slipped on his trenchcoat. He ran down the stairs and out the front door.

As he neared Zim's house, he could see that the livingroom light was on. He thought about simply going up and knocking on the door, but something inside him resisted. Instead, he crept through the yard, and peered through the large, mishapen window.

Zim and Tak sat on the couch in Zim's living room. They were laughing about something, and as Zim spoke, he stood, and waved his arms wildly, making Tak giggle. Zim ploped down on the couch beside Tak. Dib watched as the two looked at each other for a minute. Then Zim leaned over and kissed Tak's cheek. Dib felt his heart sink. He felt betrayed. Angered, he stormed to the door, and pounded on it with both fists. The door opened. Zim stood there, looking annoyed.

"What do you want, Dib-monkey?" Dib didn't answer. Instead, he gave Zim a punch in the face that sent him falling back onto the carpeted floor. Dib stepped into the house. Tak stood quickly in surprise. Zim lay on the floor, rubbing his swelling cheekbone. "What in the name of Irk's fucking moons do you think you're doing?!" Zim yelled.

"She's mine! Mine, you got that, alien?" Dib screamed. "You keep your hands off Tak! You don't touch her, Zim! You do and I'll..."

"Dib!" Tak screamed. "Outside, NOW!"

This don't mean that

you own me well

this ain't no good

In fact it's phoney as Hell

yeah, but things worked out just like you wanted...

to

"Tak, sweetheart, listen," Dib said as they stood outside on the sidewalk. "I just saw Zim...and you and him..."

"You were spying on me!" Tak said angrily.

"Yeah, but Tak, I love you."

"I love you too, Dib," Tak said. "But that doesn't mean you own me. I belong to no one, do you understand me?" She sighed. "Listen, I don't think we should be together right now. Maybe I have some things to work on, but so do you."

"Don't say it's over, Tak, please." Dib whispered, tears filling his eyes.

"Dib, love, it's over for now." Tak said, placing her hand on his arm. With that simple sentence, that one gesture, a pain like none he'd ever felt coursed through Dib.

"Do you want Zim?" Dib asked, half accusationally. "Is that what this is about? Tak scoffed.

"Call me when you decide you want to be more of a mate, and less of a commander, okay?" With that, she turned, and walked back into Zim's house, slamming the door.

If you see me out

you don't know me, try

to turn your head

try to give me some room

to figure out just what I'm gonna do

In school the next day, Tak switched seats with Zita, so that now, she sat behind Zim. Dib watched her all morning, longing for her, hurting to be away from her. He finally penned a note on a piece of paper, folding it, and writing Tak accross the top. Then using the tried and true classroom mail post method, he passed the note accross the room. He watched as Tak opened and read it:

Tak,

I'm so sorry about the way I've been acting. I guess you're the first person who ever showed me affection, and I just don't know how to take it. Please, if you just listen to me, if we can just talk. I want you to understand me. I'm just confused. Maybe I don't know what I want out of life, but I know I want you in it. I really do love you and I need you. Will you give me another chance?

-Dib

She looked at Dib and sighed. She stuffed the note into her backpack. Dib hung his head in dispair.

And everyone here

hates everyone here for doin' just like they do

and it's best if we all keep this quiet instead

And I couldn't tell

why everyone here was doin' me like they do

I'm sorry now

And I don't know how

To get it back...

To good

Dib's day felt like a nightmare. He heard the other kids talking about him. They acted as though they knew prcisely what was going on, even though they had no grasp of the concept.

"Did you hear?" One boy said to another in the hall as Dib passed. "I heard the hot new girl dumped Dib for Zim."

"Yeah," The other replied. "he must be a real freak for her to want to leave him for that wierdo."

"You know what I heard?" Dib heard a girl saying at lunch. "I heard Dib was beating on her, and that's why she left him."

"What a nutjob." Another girl commented. The entire table laughed. They had no room to talk, Dib thought. They're lives were nothing but cheesy dramas of their own making. He wanted to protest in his defense, but ended up saying nothing. It just wasn't worth making more ripples.

Dib sat on the curb, after school, with his head buried in his hands. He looked up as a shadow fell over him. He didn't even turn around, though he knew there was someone behind him.

"Dib?" Tak's voice said sympathetically.

"What?" He responded, with an iciness to his tone. The anger in his voice shocked her for a moment. Tak knelt beside him. Maybe she'd been wrong too, she thought.

"How are you holding up?"

"Well, can't you see that I'm not? This whole love thing just made me a bigger laughingstock in school. Thanks to you." The last remark felt venomous to Tak.

"It's none of their business." Tak said. Dib buried his head in his hands again. Like she cared, Dib thought to himself. She had Zim. She wasn't the one hurt here.

"I just don't know why everyone treats me this way, you know. They're no better. Hell, maybe they are. Maybe everyone IS better than me. Maybe so is Zim." Tak put her arm around his shoulders. He looked up at her with tear-filled eyes. "There is no getting back to the way things were, is there?" Dib asked. Tak sighed sadly.

"No. We can only move forward. I just need somebody who is sure of what they want. Somebody who doesn't need me, you know."

"So there's really no hope for us, is there?"

"There's always hope, Dib." If there was, he wasn't feeling it.

"Not for me." He said, pulling away from Tak. A tear rolled down his cheek. "Just...leave me alone, OK?."

"God damn, you're so fatalistic, Dib. I knew trying to talk to you was a mistake." Tak said dissapointedly. She stood, and turned away from Dib. "I'll send for my ship later." She said, then closed her eyes, and bit her lip hard to numb the pain she felt, and walked away.

Everyone here

is wondrin' what it's like to be with somebody else

And everyone here's to blame

and everyone here

gets caught up in the pleasure or the pain

and everyone hides shades of shame

and lookin' inside

we're the same, we're the same.

And we're all grown now

yeah, but we don't know how

to get it back

To good

Tak stood in Zim's house, looking out the window as the rain poured down. Out of her disguise, her purple eyes reflected the shimmer of the raindrops. Was she wrong? She looked back at Zim, who was sitting on the couch, deeply involved in some stupid show about two FBI agents investigating aliens. She turned back to the window, wondering what Dib was doing right now. She hoped he was okay, and in a way, wished she were there.

Dib stared at the rain running down the glass of his room's window. He wondered to himself what Tak was doing. Whatever it was, he hoped she was happy. That's all he really wanted. Maybe mistakes were made. Maybe they all got caught up in the moment, in the pleasure of what it was like to feel love. In the pain of having it end, of heartbreak. But he still felt alone.

Tak had Zim. She had someone who understood her inside and out. But it just wasn't the same. He didn't need her. Maybe she really wanted someone who needed her, just as she needed someone. It's too late now, though, she thought. He'll never talk to me again.

"Why did I have to say those things?" She whispered. "There's no going back." She placed a gloved hand against the cold glass "Dib." A tear slid down her face.

"I'm so sorry." Dib whispered in the dark of his room. He placed his right hand against his window. "I just hope you know that, Tak." But there was no getting back.

Everyone here

knows everyone here is thinkin' 'bout somebody else

and it's best if we all keep this under our hats

yeah, under our hats, yeah,

see I couldn't tell now

if anyone here was feelin' the way I do

But it's over now

Yeah I don't know how

I guess it's over now,

and there's no getting back

To good

And lo', there it is, thou lovers of DATR, or any love for that matter. The truth about love and pain. I apologize for some of the shoody relationship dialogue and actions, but leading a semi-stoical, platonic life prevents me from accurately rendering the workings of a relationship in writing. But my point has been delivered. As I said, I'm terrible with romance, so if I was inspired by anyone's DATR work, I didn't mean any "ripoff" at all. I hope you liked this one. If you didn't, then the truth about love is lost on your poor blighted soul anyhow. Review, so that I may know where my work stands in your eyes. 'Till next time, cheerio fellow Zim fans.