A/N: this is for Amy's Birthday :). Happy birthday, Amz. Also, please consider that this is a pointless drabble and I'm a bit worried for my lack of sanity. Don't be frightened at the multiple random things that are going to occur during this fic. You have been warned.
So enjoy :)
Love Bites
"SIRIUS, YOU MORON!" James screamed, clutching his neck. He changed back from his animagus form where he saw an extremely guilty looking Sirius-puppy at his feet with his tail between his legs in apology. A playful bark was what he got in response. "YOU BIT ME!"
James saw Sirius roll his eyes and soon Sirius changed back as well. "Sorry, mate."
"Sorry?? That's all I get is a sorry? Look at this! I have my anniversary date with Lily in an hour and I cannot go out with a big Padfoot-hickey on my neck!"
"You're making this out to be a bigger deal than it has to be," Sirius reasoned as James scowled. "Besides, it's only your five month anniversary. It's not like you're getting bloody married."
James proceeded to take out a pocket mirror and check his bite. Sirius made a disgusted noise as James turned his head sharply in his direction.
"What?" he asked, clearly pissed off.
"You carry around a pocket mirror?"
"Yes!" James said indignantly. He surveyed the damage that Sirius caused and then mussed up his hair again, as it was looking a bit flat. Sirius scoffed behind him and James turned on him, snapping the mirror shut. "You," he said pointing to Sirius "have no right to make that noise. You gave me this," he tilted his head to the side to show the bite in full. Sirius must have bitten him quite hard actually during the frenzy in his animagus form, because the teeth marks were boldly showing nd the area where James was bitten became a bit purple.
Upon seeing this, Sirius began to laugh. This only pissed James off even more, funnily enough.
"It's not funny! What the hell are you, a bloody vampire?!"
"Hahahaha, man Lily is going to freak out when she sees that."
"Why?! Is it really that bad?"
"Nah, Jamesy," he stuttered between chortles of laughter. "it's just a love bite."
X-X-X
Lily paced around her dorm with her best friend Marlene McKinnon watching her. Lily, Marlene decided, liked pacing. Pacing was the thing to do when she was nervous or agitated or ranting about James. That was Lily's thing. Instead of biting her nails like normal people, Lily paced.
It was exercise, Lily insisted.
"Lily, chill out,"
"I can't! I've got nothing to wear." She kept pacing
"Borrow something of mine."
"Your clothes don't fit me."
"They'll fit."
"They won't."
"Sit down, Lily."
"NO!"
Marlene flopped down on her bed. Ever since Lily had begun dating James the pair of them had become inseparable and it was bloody disgusting in her opinion. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"Lily, would you stop stressing out for a moment?"
"No. Stressing out is what I'm good at. I'm actually pretty excellent at stressing out. Leave me to it."
"Lily." Marlene walked across the room, seized Lily by her shoulders and sat her down on her bed. Lily's feet fidgeted and Marlene stepped on them to get them to stop moving. "You could wear a friggen potato sack and James would still think that you looked beautiful."
"I refuse to wear a potato sack."
Lily could be very difficult sometimes, Marlene thought.
"You are missing my point completely."
"I understand that," Lily told her. "And you're missing mine. James is going to look amazing and then I'm going to be standing there and people are going to think 'oh what's that great looking guy doing with the hideous red-head?' And a bunch of people of the female persuasion will probably think that I am a distant cousin twice removed who got all the terrible looks and no fashion sense at all. And those people, again of the female persuasion, will probably think that James needs some company and that they could move their way into James' heart. I wont let that happen, I tell you! I will look fabulous for James! I will!"
"So you want to borrow some of my clothes?"
"Yes. And Marlene?"
"Hmm?"
"Please get off my feet, they are really starting to hurt."
"Right, sorry."
X-X-X
"What do I do, Reemy?" James whined, lying down on his bed. He had rubbed lotion, creams, and even a bit of powder (don't judge him) on the bite and it still showed through like a beacon. He would look terrible. And it was all Sirius' fault. Sirius and his bloody vampire puppy responses.
Sirius wasn't showing any remorse at all, actually for this. Sirius found it funny. Sirius was laughing hysterically on the other side of the room—a safe distance away from James.
James threw a pillow at him. The laughter continued.
"Well," Remus thought aloud, "You could try this—" Remus brandished a small bottle. James perked up—there was hope!
"What is that, mate, and why have you been hiding it from me?"
"This, my bitten friend, takes away a lot of the scars that I get from transforming. I'm not sure that it'll work so well for…er…love bites, but it should."
James practically ripped the bottle out of Remus' hand, ignoring the foreboding looks he got from Sirius.
"No, mate, don't use that—"
"AH WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!??!?!"
"What?" Remus was alarmed by his friend's outburst. "What's wrong?"
"IT BURNS, MOONY! IT BURNS LIKE HELL! MAKE IT STOP!"
"I TOLD you not to use that—"
"Padfoot, shut UP! Is it supposed to burn like this!?"
"No! It's never burned before! I don't know what—" Realization crossed James and Remus' faces and they turned to Sirius.
"What did you do?" James asked, clutching his neck with the watery eyes.
"Um well that's not really…meant for…you know, scars anymore."
"What did you do?"
"I switched that with a certain potion…"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
X-X-X
"You think this'll work?" Lily asked a weary Marlene. Marlene sighed.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Lily turned her head in the direction of her best friend. Her best friend, who was currently closing her eyes and massaging her temples. Lily picked up a shoe and threw it at Marlene. Lily had terrible aim. The shoe hit the opposite bed post.
"You're not even looking."
Marlene cracked open an eye and she exhaled loudly.
"That was the second outfit you tried on."
"Really?"
"Really."
She gave the outfit an appraising glance and then shrugged. "I'm surprised that you can remember back that far."
Marlene buried her head in a pillow and let out a groan.
Lily saw this and smiled at her best friend. "I'm sorry, Marly, I suppose I've been a bit of a pain, haven't I?"
"Mhm."
"It's just that—well, I want to look nice. I know he'll look nice and this is important for me and—"
Marlene sighed, cutting her off. "Yeah I know. I'm impatient. Please don't take any offense."
"I don't. So what do you think about this one?"
"I think it's going to be a very long day."
X-X-X
"Moony I love it when you pay attention in Herbology." James sighed. Remus had quickly rubbed aloe on James' neck to sooth the burning. Now it merely tingled. But James was a man—a manly man. And he could handle a bit of a tingle.
"Yeah, me too, Muh-oony. I don't think that I could listen to James scream for one more minute."
James and Remus turned to Sirius. Sirius was sitting in the corner of the room, his chair facing the wall. "Moony did you hear something?" James asked, feigning deafness.
Remus sighed. "Sirius, the one of the rules of the Time-Out Corner is that you're not allowed to talk."
"Go on, Moony, tell him what the penalty is," James urged. Remus rolled his eyes.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to extend your time in the Corner by five minutes."
"WHAT?!" Sirius squawked indignantly as James laughed evilly. "FIVE MINUTES?! Bollocks, last time when we put Peter in the Corner it was three!"
"Yes, but you committed an offence against two of your fellow Marauders," Remus explained. "You intended for that to burn my skin. Because your intentions were aimed towards me, thanks by the way I'll remember that when your birthday rolls around, but they fell upon James it's like a double offense. Therefore, you get double the time. I'm actually being nice by only giving you five minutes, it should be six."
"MAKE IT SIX, MOONY!" James was clearly enjoying his power hold over the anxious Sirius.
"Alright, six. Six minutes," Remus decreed and then turned back to James.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Sirius jumped out of the chair and faced the other two, knocking it to the ground in the process. "MOONY HAVE MERCY! SIX WHOLE MINUTES?!?!?" Sirius slid to his knees at James and Remus' feet.
"Moony has spoken," James put a solemn hand on Remus' shoulder. Dejected, and guilty, Sirius went back to the chair and sat in a huff in the Corner.
James turned back to Remus with a pleading look. "Moony, help me. This isn't going away!"
Remus grew pensive and then snapped his fingers. "I've got it!"
James' eyes lit up as they followed Remus, who walked across the room and rummaged through his trunk. Remus surfaced with—
"A scarf." James looked dissatisfied with this solution. "A bright pink, bloody scarf. Moony you're the genius of the group, you don't have any other ideas?"
"'Fraid not, mate. It's the scarf of nothing," Remus said, offering the scarf.
James stared at the pink, woolly disaster that was in Remus' hands. He looked at it and stared at Remus, who was trying to make it look even more appealing by offering it with a creepy smile. Exhaling noisily, James snatched the scarf out of Remus' hands and put it on hastily.
He stepped in front of the mirror and looked at himself.
"Kill me, Moony. Please just do it."
X-X-X
"You look beautiful, Lily, did I say that already?" James couldn't get over the sight of his girlfriend. She smiled gratefully at him.
"Thanks. You—er—" she stared at him, a puzzling expression on her face. "Sorry, it's just…remind me again why you have a scarf on?" She eyed the bright pink piece of clothing around his neck with a confused eye.
"I felt a draft."
"It's May."
"Yeah..." James tugged on the scarf, making sure it concealed the Sirius bite. He scratched the area around the wool prison.
"James," Lily eyed him in concern. "Uh, that scarf…I think it's giving you an allergic reaction."
"No. No, it's fine. I—um…hives are the new thing, didn't you hear?" James continued to tug at the scarf. Lily laughed and reached for it, but James swatted her hand away.
"James, please, you're going to make it worse if you keep scratching at it. Just take off the scarf."
"Are you insulting my sense of style, Miss Evans?" James looked genuinely offended at this.
"No, but…ugh, James just take off the scarf—" she grabbed for it again, but he took a step away from her.
"No!" He was acting like a two year old but as he stomped his foot in refusal and attracted everyone in the restaurant's attention, he found that he didn't care. He just didn't want her to see his bite.
"James, don't be ridiculous, you're going to get a terrible rash just—" she grabbed for it again, but he do-se-doed around
"No I don't wanna—"
They looked as though they were performing a foreign dance as Lily kept shifting around him and he kept stepping away from her. She eyed the hot pink fabric with a skillful eye, but James on the other hand danced around her, always keeping it just out of her reach. Finally she let out a frustrated groan and playfully hit him on the shoulder as he stepped back against the wall of the restaurant.
"Ha!" he smirked at her as she pouted. The tail of his scarf was sandwiched safely between his back and the wooden wall. "Now you can't get it. So please, just ignore the scarf, Lily, I'll be alright."
He placed his hand on the small of her back and began to usher a reluctant red-head to their table, but as he did so his scarf caught on a loose nail in the wall and slid off of his neck revealing an enlarged, red and completely swollen Sirius "love bite".
James' hand jumped to the bite, but he wasn't quick enough for Lily's sharp eye.
"Oh my God, James, what on earth is on your neck?!" her hand went to James' in an effort to move it away. James surrendered and slowly brought his hand down, revealing the Sirius bite, which had grown extraordinarily scarlet due to the combination of swelling and the hives that the material had given him. Lily looked horrified, not because of the rash anymore but because of the teeth marks engraved in his neck.
"I didn't put those there." Was the first thing she said.
James became quite uncomfortable now. Due to their dancing display and tug-of-war match with his scarf, half of the restaurant believed that they were putting on some sort of twisted show. One person even whispered "I believe that the rash that the unusual piece of clothing is giving him symbolizes the potential rockiness of their relationship. Let's watch and find out."
James frowned in the direction of the voice. There always has to be one cynic. He turned back to Lily and realized that he still had a hickey mark on his neck and no explanation was given to his girlfriend as to where he got it.
"So, I'm hungry. Are you hungry? They have great…eating stuff here and I—" James tugged at his collar as he had suddenly become extremely hot and nervous. Lily raised her eyebrow at him and raised her hand to touch the bite.
"You know if I didn't know any better, I'd say that looked like a hic—" she gasped and withdrew her hand as though she'd been burnt. "JAMES POTTER, WHO HAVE YOU BEEN KISSING?!"
"What?" James went from nervous to alarmed—especially because it was Sirius who had given him the bite. "No one, Lily, I—"
"HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN GOING ON, JAMES?!"
"Lily, listen I—"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!" she turned away from him and James silently cursed Sirius with every fiber in his bitten being.
"Lily I can explain—"
"Explain what? How you totally disregarded my trust for you and went behind my back and cheated on me with some—some—blonde bimbo?! And she obviously couldn't keep her hands or mouth off of you considering that she gave you some sort of…of…love bite! And she's probably named something sexy like Brianna or Ali or something like that and she's probably taller than me and she's probably better at Transfiguration than me and--what made you do it, James, hmm?! And on our ANNIVERSARY!"
"LILY!"
"WHAT?!"
He pulled her into a hug as the red head had frenziedly gone off on her tangent. She fell into his arms without much of an objection.
"Sweetie, I didn't cheat on you. I would never cheat on you."
"You didn't?" she mumbled into his shoulder.
"No. Sirius was actually the brilliant one that gave me this bite."
"He did?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why does Sirius do anything? Because he wanted to. I'm not sure why he wanted to, but I think it has something to do with his new ambition to become a vampire. Or maybe its because I'm just so lovable that even he couldn't resist me."
Lily laughed appreciatively into his shoulder. He tilted her chin up so that her eyes met his. Lily smiled.
"I've been a bit ridiculous haven't I?"
"Nah, you were perfectly sane. Like I said, it's a hard job fighting off all these people who want me so badly. Occasionally you get bitten, it's all in a hard day's work."
"That bloody ego…" Lily rolled her eyes at his narcissism and he kissed her on the forehead.
"But Lils?"
"Yeah?"
"You're the only one that I would like to get love bites from."