I own nothing but the idea and Story
DUDE!
By
The X-filer
Summery: Mulder and Skinner has, well, a bit too much of the good stuff!
I would like to dedicate this story to X-phileTom
--
"Mulder have you seen the file Skinner sent down earlier?"
"Yes Dude I filed that like Half hour ago" Scully stared at him
"Dude?" Mulder looked back at her and grinned
"You got a problem about the way I'm a speakin' Dude?"
"Well you might want to tell me why your speaking like that" She noticed his forehead "And when did you get a tattoo of a barcode on your head" Scully encouraged sitting on the edge of the desk still looking at him
"Dude, you really want to know, totally but you got to keep it under the table ok? Shh! No a tellin' nobody ok?" Scully just nodded
"Ok" Mulder cleared his throat and leaned forward, keeping his eyes on Scully
"Well last week, down at the thingamabob, I did a 360 on a 5 niner on the whatsamagigger"
"A whatsa whoie?'"
"A whatsamagigger! Dude don't tell me you haven't heard of a whatsamagigger?"
"No not really" Mulder slammed his hands on the desk and just stared at her wide eyed, she looked a bit worried "What? Is it really that important?"
"Dude it's like the holy importance of importance!"
"Right? Ok? Well dude whether it's important or not we have a meeting with Skinner" Scully said lifting herself off of the desk
"Dude that's totally uncool, totally!" Mulder said as he grabbed his coat as well and followed her to the elevator. Moments later they reached Skinners office and walked through the door. Mulder noticed Kimberley as he passed
"Whoa! total Chick alert In session!" he said nudging Scully in the shoulder
"Mulder! Please your embarrassing me!" Kimberley just blushed as Scully pulled him through the door, they made their way across the floor and sat down in front of Skinner "Sorry we're late Sir…You… have… a… tattoo as well?" She said looking up at him and seeing the same tattoo Mulder has printed across his forehead as well
"Dude! Yeah! Look it's even got numbers and all!" Skinner said pointing at his head
"Lookin' Flashy Dude!"
"Totally! Flashy!" Scully stared at the both of them
"Oh My God! Have you two gone crazy?!"
"Crazy no! lets break down it down, Cra-zzzzzy, nope totally not us!"
"totally not!" Skinner agreed, he turned a page in the folder "Dude look, it's blank" Mulder leaned forward, Scully just stared at the both of them not believing what she was seeing
"Dude! Look white!" Skinner turned the page
"Dude white!" Mulder said as Skinner turned the page again
"Dude white!" Skinner said as he turned the page again
"Dude white!"
"Dude white!"
"Dude!"
"Dude!"
"Totally!" Scully just looked at them in horror
"Where's Mulder and Skinner and what have you done with them?"
"Dude she can't see us!" Skinner waved a hand in front of her, she just stared at him
"Totally not dude!"
"I think you two need to get checked out"
"Checked out?"
"Checkout! Dude lets go and see how much we're worth!" Mulder and Skinner raced from there seats and pushed to get out the door, Scully just sighed as she looked on, she slowly stood and followed them out
--
They entered the grocery store around Midday, they went straight for the Checkouts
"Dude! Total chick alert in session" Mulder and Skinner stood at the checkout, the girls working there just stared at them
"Can I help you?" Mulder pulled out his badge
"BFI! Move aside, this is like official business!"
"Don't you mean FBI?"
"Shh… the I is Silent" the girls moved aside and let them in, Skinner stood in front of scanner, he turned to Mulder
"Go for it dude! May the force be with you" Mulder said placing a hand on his shoulder, Skinner nodded as he turned back, and with one quick swipe, he ran his forehead across the scanner, it made a beeping sound and on the screen the words PRODUCT NOT REGISTERED came across
"Dude! My barcode didn't work!"
"Try it again!" again Skinner ran his head across the scanner
PRODUCT NOT REGISTERED
"Dude! It like, still didn't work"
"Dude your not doing it right, here!" Mulder grabbed Skinners head and pushed it across the scanner again
PRODUCT NOT REGISTERED
By now they had gotten most of the stores attention
"Here let me do it" Skinner stepped aside and let Mulder try, Mulder swiped his head across the red light
INVALID
He tried again
INVALID
"Dude My barcode is like faulty!"
"Totally Faulty!"
"Here you get on that one and I'll try again on this one" Skinner turned to the other one and ran his head across it, 2 seconds later Mulder did the same, 2 more seconds later Skinner did it again, 2 more seconds after that Mulder swiped his head, Suddenly
"Dude, Race ya!"
"Race!" and then they were off, Mulder and Skinner were Swiping as quick as there heads would swipe, at this point Scully walked through the door and her eyes fell on the pair
"Oh My God!" She saw them bend down and then all of a sudden they fell over
"Dizzy!"
"Totally Dizzy!" they half stood and wobbled their way towards the front door where Scully was Standing
"Dude you made it!"
"Did ya see us? Did ya?! Did ya?!"
"We were like so totally cool!"
"Totally cool!"
"Oh don't worry, I seen you and so did half the store" She said as she led them towards the car "Come on, I'll take you back to the Bureau, before something else happens"
"Uncool Dude!"
"Totally uncool" they made it to the car, Scully climbed in and started the engine, out of the corner of Mulders eye he spotted an ice cream store
"Dude Look! pretty colour!"
"So many colours" By the time Scully had turned around they were gone
"Oh man! Guys!" She yelled as she got out of the car "This is going to be a long day" she muttered to herself as she chased after them.
--
A/N
Ok before I say anything I would like to thank X-phileTom for the idea of making my weed talk a story
So thank you!
Anyways let me know what you thought
I thought this could be a one shot but if you like it then I could always make chapters, let me know what you think and if you want me to continue
Thanks for any reviews if there's any
Big shout outs to all!
Thanks Tom!