Hello all! Yes, this is my second shot at a Wicked story, but this is in a whole new category. That's right, I'm attempting to be funny! (And probably making a complete fool of myself in doing so!) I wrote this with my friend a while back on the night that we saw Wicked, so we were both a bit punch-drunk. I know its pretty silly, but that's what I'm aiming for! Hope you enjoy! Oh, and the bolded words in the story indicate actions. It wouldn't let me transfer any squigly lines or stars from the word document!

Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked, Fiyero, Glinda, nobody! Don't sue, k?

This week: Fiyero Speaks Out!

Q. Hello Fiyero. How are you doing?

A. Well, I'm doing just great! Things have been going very pleasant for me here in Oz. There are many benefits to being a scarecrow, you see. I don't have to shave anymore, I finally got a brain (yes!) and I never get hurt. This enables me to go cliff diving with the lemmings. (A favorite past-time of mine that I couldn't do in human form!) But, there are few draw-backs.

Q. And what would those be?

A. Well, I can't attract chicks anymore. I mean, seriously, who wants to date a scarecrow? The only girlfriends I have ever had were Elphaba and Dorothy. Yes, I will admit to having liked Dorothy -sorry Elphaba- but she only liked me for my body. I mean, I didn't have a brain then! So I guess you could say Elphaba was my only real girlfriend. And even then, her broom stick was hitting on her! (You have to read my book to understand what I'm talking about.) But that's beside the point. I loved Elphaba, as she was the only other friend I had besides Dorothy. (Sorry Tin-Man and Lion, but you guys talked about me behind my back. You can't deny it; I've eavesdropped on your conversations.) Another drawback is that my diamonds are gone. I've tried painting them on back on before, but they just don't stay on these rags of clothing I wear! I liked those diamonds, too. They were my trademark! Well, at least they're still on Elphaba. Snickers

Q. EEEWWW! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! ... So, how are you and her doing right now?

A. I'm not at liberty to talk to you about that right now.

Q. What? You guys have a fight?

A. N.O. NO! Didn't you see the play? We went undercover! I'm not even supposed to be here!

Q. But you do still live in Oz.

A. No I don't!

Q. Then how come in the first question I asked you, you responded "Things have been going very pleasant for me here in Oz." I mean, you can't lie about that; I have it right here down on paper!

A. God, you reporters are so nosy! Jeez! Just leave me alone! So what if I am still in Oz? What are you gonna do, try and find me? HA! I'll duck away from the media! I'll go undercover!

Q. You already are undercover.

A. I'll go under even deeper then! SHEESH!!!

Q. ANYWAY, do you still see anyone from Oz secretly?

A. Well, not really. Glinda won't talk to me anymore, but it's not like it's my fault that I didn't like her. I mean seriously, she was whacked out! Just to even remember the song "Thank Goodness" still sends shivers down my spine! Err, I mean, down my straw! Either way, yucko! And I really didn't know anyone else in Oz besides her and Elphaba. I may have been popular and stuck up in school, but I've changed. Everyone just liked me for my money back then, and not for who I really was! I HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS!! WHAA!

Q. Ok, this is starting to sound like a psychiatric session. Get a grip on yourself! How about Nessarose?

A. She's dead!! Do you honestly think I could still hang out with her?!?! "Oh, Hi Nessa, how's it going, being dead and all?"

Q. No, I meant what did you think of her when she was still alive!

A. Oh, she was alright. But she was kinda mean and stuck up, arms, wheelchair, or not. I didn't favor her or pity her just because she had a disability. She was a semi normal person, but she still treated everyone else like crap!

Q. Do you hang out with anybody outside of Oz?

A. Not really. I've been pretty lonely lately. You're the only person I've seen from beyond the other side of the rainbow.

Q. Alright, that's about as much time as we have for today. See you all next time!

A. I love you all! Blows kisses I'll be here…uh… forever!!!