Disclaimer: It's not mine. If it were, *cough, cough,* the show wouldn't be innocent enough to be on The Disney Channel. But really, who wants to be on the Disney Channel anyways? Those shows give you cavities…

A/N: I realize it's been a while, but as previously mentioned, I've stopped watching or reading Naruto. I've also had little to no free time this year.

Alright, I'll stop trying to justify my laziness now. There's a bit more foul language in this chapter, because I've decided to channel my inner pirate. I think it has to do with my increased amount of horizontal stripes, and the media has brainwashed me into believing all pirates wore striped shirts, just like all ninjas wearing orange jumpsuits…

Chapter 9: Dr. Horrible

"I hate her! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!"

"M-hmm, that's nice, Ino," Temari sympathized while turning the page in her Chemistry textbook. When gray and sear our hair hath turned, we will still probably be reminiscing about those wonderful, food-deprived lunches spent cramming in the library.

I slammed my head against the wooden table. "She's pure evil! She's- she's…"

"Pernicious?"

"Huh?"

"Vocab word. Means to cause insidious harm or ruin. Continue."

"Right," I said, searching for my de-railed train of thought. "She's…, the Captain Hammer to my Doctor Horrible!"

"Who?" Temari asked absently.

"Sakura, of course."

"No, I meant the horrible thingy."

"You know, Captain Hammer, Professional Tool? Steals Dr. Horrible's crush and then flaunts it in his face?" I asked desperately.

Temari shook her head, in the meantime scribbling something onto her periodic table.

"Neil Patrick Harris would be ashamed of you!" I admonished.

"He's gay, you know."

"… Oh shut up and balance your equations."

#=#=#=#=#

It's been a few days and already I feel hollow. How could she do this to me? She's my best…what are we, anyway? I could call her my best friend, but that was in second grade, and she's gotten a great deal bitchier since then, this being the perfect example. She is one of two female friends that I actually talk to on a regular basis, though. So is she my best-female-friend-of-convenience-when-I-can-stand-her-and-when-she-deems-it-socially-acceptable-to-pretend-as-though-she-cares? That used to be an accurate description, but not anymore. Now she's just that-bitchy-girl-whom-I'll-cheat-off-of-in-Math-not-because-I-don't-understand-the-material-but-because-she's-a-bitch. That'll teach her.

Why would she even want to date him? She likes them pretty and emo, while Naruto is not pretty, nor is he emo. He's handsome, but in a rugged, hiker way.

He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he rides bitch seat on her pinky finger. She takes away his manhood and he gladly lets her to be patted on the head afterwards.

She's like nail polish remover: nasty, pink, and corrosive, yet every girl needs her.

Eff my life.

#=#=#=#=#

"Oi, bushy brows!" I yelled. This was perfect, I found her after school in a deserted hall.

"What's up, Ino-pig?" she replied obnoxiously. Urgh, I hate her and her radioactive hair! Why can't she just go cliff-diving without the water?

"Why'd you get Naruto's hopes up like that? You know this'll only end in heartbreak, right?" I asked, attempting to hide my anger, but it was no good. She could always see right through me anyway.

Sakura's light-hearted smile changed into a pensive frown. "Ino, why would you think I'm stringing him along?"

"You've never even been able to stand being near him for a prolonged period, and now you want me to believe you've magically realized you've fallen for his childish charm?" I started calm, but tears started welling in my eyes from anger. "You'll never appreciate him the way I do!" I argued desperately.

"Oh Ino," Sakura sighed, "It isn't like that at all. We've always bickered, yes, but I've never hated him; he's always been a dear friend. Why didn't you tell me you were interested in him?" Her patronizing tone was killing me; I felt like such a fool.

"I-I don't know, maybe because we haven't been close since second grade? Maybe because I'd assumed your loathing of Naruto would be eternal? Does it matter? You always try to steal the guys I like!" I realized I was being irrational, but who the hell cared anyway?

"Listen Ino, I'm sorry you feel this way, but Naruto likes me and I like him, that's just the way it is," Sakura stated, signaling the end of the conversation by promptly walking away.

It was after she left I broke down and cried. I guess I'd never imagined Sakura might feel the same way I did about Naruto. I bet they'd be great together, too. He'd inspire her to reach for the stars and she'd bring him back down to earth when he became too unrealistic. Why do I deserve to be the one to have my heart broken? I might not be the right girl for him, but he's the right guy for me. Just call me Helena without a Puck to help her.

#=#=#=#=#

We dated in secret for weeks without finding out. He was always quiet, but so was I, so it worked out fine. I don't know how, but we seemed to agree to things without ever vocalizing them. He would drive me to a restaurant, but I had to give my nod of approval before we would walk in. We also had our little ways of showing affection. We would be watching a movie and he'd reach out to touch my hand. I still believe it's to assure himself I'm still beside him. We've both experienced loss, it was nice to find solace in each other.

It was when Sakura caught us that everything started unraveling.

#=#=#=#=#

I actually started crying halfway through writing this chapter. Guess I really entered Ino's mindset, neh? I've never had this happen to me, but heartbreak is a universal feeling, hopefully I've conveyed the emotions well enough…

Reviews are nice, but I realize it's been forever since I updated. It's understandable if you want to freeze me out from feedback, even though it helps me grow as a writer.

-Crick