Second Fiddle (Acceptance Continued)

Rated: PG-13 (language)

Spoilers: Unending; Much, Much Later.

Summary: It Takes More Skill Than I Can Tell To Play The Second Fiddle Well.

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Teal'c wasn't surprised by the knock as his door.

He'd been expecting it.

She always knocked. She never used the chime.

He didn't want to answer. If he thought ignoring her would work, he would've let her knock all day, but he knew that a pissed off Samantha Carter could be one stubborn enemy, so with a deep sigh of resignation and anxiety, he stood to let her in.

As the door opened, the scene that greeted Teal'c was exactly what he'd expected.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter stood just outside his quarters. She was breathing a little heavily, and her face was turned to one side so that she could avoid looking at the doorway and its occupant. Even in profile, though, Teal'c could see that her face was scrunched up with an unidentifiable emotion. It was as if she was trying to hold back a flood of feeling.

He stood in the doorway, silently, waiting for what he knew was coming.

When Sam finally turned to face him, her expression was revealed as a mixture of anger and sadness, with a touch of fear thrown in for good measure. Sam's eyes were just a bit red, and they shone with the slightest sheen of tears.

Teal'c knew what this was about, and he thought the privacy of his quarters was more suitable for the coming conversation than the hallway, but he did not trust his voice not to fail him, so he invited his friend inside the only way he could. Teal'c took a half step back from the door and gestured to the interior of the room. His face remained calm, but internally he was anything but. The anger, sadness, and fear that Sam was showing openly were eating at Teal'c, too, as he fought his own battles with the events that were about to unfold. As Sam stepped past him, he briefly closed his eyes, swallowing his own demons as best he could so that he could help Sam deal with hers, before following her into the room. The door shut behind him.

It was nearly twenty seconds before she spoke.

"I can't let you do this."

"I am the only logical choice. You know that is true."

"Logic be damned, Teal'c! This isn't about logic! I should do it!"

"I sympathize with your emotions, Colonel Carter, but I will not allow that. Again, I am the only logical choice. You are nearing the end of your natural years. I am not. It is that simple."

"No...no, Teal'c, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

Sam had been pacing the room until now, but as she lost her battle to keep the tears in, she flopped onto Teal'c's couch and allowed one long trail of saline to drop down each cheek. She knew he was right, but it didn't make what had to be done any easier.

"I know...I just...what happens now, Teal'c?"

"I do not understand your question, Colonel Carter. I believe you have already come up with a plan that has a reasonable chance of success."

Sam had long ago learned to cut through Teal'c's 'stoic Jaffa' bullshit, and she called his bluff now. Her voice was full of flint as she spoke.

"You know damn well that's not what I'm talking about, Teal'c. Don't pretend you don't."

Teal'c knew when he'd lost a battle, and he sighed heavily in defeat now. He joined Sam on the couch, his shoulders slumped in dejection. The cracks in his armor that he rarely showed opened a little bit, as they were sometimes wont to do in her presence. He was quiet a long time, and when he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.

"We knew this day would come. We never pretended that things would continue as they are now on the outside."

"I know, but..."

"No, Samantha. There will be no 'but'. You will have no memory of our time here, nor will any of the others, and I make a solemn vow that I will keep silent for as long as I shall live regarding any events that transpired here."

"It's not fair to ask you to do that, Teal'c. I mean, you and I..."

Sam's voice failed her, and Teal'c interrupted.

"Have come to mean a great deal to one another, but we both accepted our roles long ago. We both have someone to return to, and it is only right that we do so."

"I know, but...damn...I wish I could tell you that I'm going to miss you...but...damn...to have a lifetime ripped away from me...it just seems so unfair...I'll never know about any of this."

"You will have another lifetime to live, Colonel Carter. I suspect that one will bring you more joy than this one has."

"Teal'c, don't talk like that. I've never regretted this..."

"Nor have I, but let us be fair. We both know that we became close to comfort each other when the absence of those we really wanted became too great to bear alone."

Sam nodded, and the tears fell faster now.

"It did start that way...you're right...and the fact that we both knew that and accepted it is part of what made this special to me...you never judged me...that meant a lot...but...God, Teal'c...it's more than that to me now..."

"I feel the same way."

"God, it's not fair that you'll remember...I wish I could make it so you didn't have to..."

"That is not possible. There is no reason to dwell on it. Perhaps this is punishment for a lifetime of wrongs done in service to the Goa'uld."

Teal'c very rarely mentioned his service to Apophis, and Sam would never have blamed him for any actions taken way back then, but she couldn't argue his karmic viewpoint right now. She was too tired and too depressed to try.

Silence fell between the two for a long time. There was nothing left to be said.

Finally, in a sudden movement surprising for her age, Sam stood. She stepped in front of Teal'c and leaned over him. Her hand traced the strong outline of his jaw, and then pulled his chin up, forcing his dark eyes to meet hers. Sam's tears had gone, but an infinite sadness remained behind her stormy pupils as she spoke a mere four words.

Four words that shattered the soul of a stoic Jaffa and damned him to a lifetime of hell.

"Goodbye, Teal'c. Thank you."

Sam planted a light kiss on Teal'c's full mouth then, and followed it with a light brush of her lips across his forehead before she stepped away. She didn't look back as she turned and left, and Teal'c was grateful.

She never saw the armor fall away as a single tear escaped from the corner of one eye.

She never heard his whispered response.

"Goodbye, Samantha. I will miss you."